Rodeo Princess

by M. G. Higgins

  “I’ve never been to the rodeo,” he says. “This will be my first time.”

  “You’re kidding. I’ve gone every year.”

  “So give me a rundown. What should I expect?”

  “Horses. Bulls. People in jeans. Cowboy hats. Fried food. There’s the parade in the morning. You’ve been to that, haven’t you?”

  “Well, yeah. It’s only three blocks from my house. Hey, do you want to watch it together? You can come to my place first. I’m sure Mom will bake something.”

  I think about it. If I still have Dilly, the McNairs will trailer her. Maybe they will bring my tack too. I’ll bring my riding clothes. Show up before the race. Maybe hanging out with Mike will keep my nerves in check. “Sure. That would be great.”

  I lean against Amy’s Jeep. There was a Christian Club meeting after school. Amy’s a member. Kids finally filter out of the building. I notice Amy and Troy are walking several feet apart. Not even holding hands. They must have gotten an earful about sex in there. As in not doing it. Ever. Until they’re married, of course.

  Amy’s eyes are downcast when she gets to the Jeep. “It wasn’t locked,” she says. “You could have sat inside.”

  “That’s okay. I’ve been sitting all day.”

  We put on our seatbelts. She slowly drives off. The radio blasts. I can tell she’s still thinking about something. She’s not tapping the steering wheel.

  I decide to get right to the point. “Did you hear about Megan Wolf?”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty awesome.”

  “I was wondering about Dilly. Are you still okay if I ride her?”

  “Jade.” She glances at me. Then back at the road. “I got you help for branding. Came to your house this morning. Made breakfast. What do you think?”

  “Okay. Just checking.”

  We reach the center of Wyatt. Stop at the town’s only signal. A pickup makes a left. Crosses in front of us. It’s Ray Belcher and Chris Archer, two popular guys from school. Chris rolls down his window. Waves. “Yo, Amy! Rodeo queen!”

  Amy laughs and rolls down her window. “I’m not the queen yet!” The light turns green. She floors it. Still laughing. “Idiots,” she says. The wind blows her long hair out the window. It’s incredibly sexy. I quickly look away.

  She glances at me. “Come on, Jade. Lighten up. You’re scowling.”

  “No I’m not.”

  “You’ve been cooped up too long. You need to get out. I’ve never seen you at a football game. A party.”

  “My mom’s gone. It’s just me. I don’t have time for anything else.”

  She pauses. “Okay. Gotcha. Except you didn’t go to parties or games before she left.”

  I shrug. “I like being outside. I like horses. Shooting. I don’t like parties.”

  “How do you know you don’t like them if you’ve never been to one?”

  “Mondays. Kids at school whine about their hangovers. About getting into stupid fights. Driving drunk. Hooking up with someone they wish they hadn’t. I’d rather be home.”

  “With your Neanderthal brothers?”

  I don’t respond. If I did, I’d have to agree with her. Or I’d have to admit my brothers are never home weekend nights. Because they’re out partying. Seth and Toby are cavemen. Dad doesn’t help either. He’s just as bad. I sigh on the inside. And squirm in my seat. “It sounds like your life is pretty perfect, Amy. Like always.”

  We’ve reached the highway. Amy shakes her head. “It’s awesome, Jade. Friggin’ awesome. I wish I could tell you all about it. But I’ve decided it might break your heart. So I’m going to spare you.”

  Chapter 13

  The sadness on Amy’s face almost breaks my heart. She grips the steering wheel tighter. Her knuckles turn white. She’s not crying. But she’s close to it. She reminds me of the girl who cried on my shoulder three years ago.

  “Amy, what is it?”

  She forces a smile. “Nothing. Okay? It’s nothing.” She breathes in and out a few times. “I wish I could talk to you about boys.”

  “You can talk to me about boys.”

  “But you won’t get it.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m human, Amy. I get it. And I have a boyfriend. Remember?”

  “But he’s not real.”

  “He’s real. We’re really dating,” I say.

  “But have you, you know … had sex?”

  “No.”

  She’s quiet.

  “I know you haven’t,” I say.

  She glances at her purity ring. Nervously fiddles with it.

  “Or have you?” I ask.

  “No.”

  “But … you want to?”

  Amy slows the Jeep. We’re at the cutoff for my house. “Shall I take you straight to Dilly?” she asks. “Or home?”

  “Home I guess. Then I can drive myself back.”

  “Suit yourself.” She doesn’t say another word until she stops in front of my house. “See you in a few.”

  I open the door. “You can trust me, Amy.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean it. If we’re going to be friends again. I’m here for you. I swear.”

  She doesn’t look at me. “Thanks.”

  I close the door. She takes off.

  The familiar shouts and mooing of branding takes my mind off Amy. I step over to the corral. Jesse and the other two hands are still here. Between them and my brothers they’re able to finish two calves at a time. One of the guys is on horseback. Separating a calf from the herd. He seems to just be along for the ride, as his horse does all the real work.

  I lean against the railing. Admire the horse as she shifts left. Right. Left again. Her eyes focused on the calf. She’s a top cow pony. She’ll bring a good price when Mr. McNair decides to sell her.

  Seth sees me. Wanders over to the fence. “Hey,” he says. “We’re almost done. Worked through lunch. We’re starving.”

  “I’m going to Amy’s. I’ll fix dinner when I get back.”

  “No. I promised the guys a good meal.”

  “You what? Seth. The rodeo is this Saturday. I race this Saturday. I have to practice.”

  “Well, that still leaves tomorrow. Come on. These guys have worked hard all day. Because of them, you got to trot off to school. Anyway, it’s what Mom would do.”

  “I. Am. Not. Mom! And I’m not your slave. Do it yourself. Or take them to the Wagon Wheel. I’m going to Amy’s.” I turn to leave.

  “Jade.” His deep voice sends a chill up my spine. “I’ll tell Mom and Dad where you go online. Those sick forums. The chat rooms.”

  My stomach clenches. I close my eyes.

  “Steaks,” he says. “Baked potatoes. Like I said. We’ve worked all day. We’re starving.”

  I walk to the house. Make dinner for six men.

  It’s dark by the time I’ve cleaned the kitchen. Collapse on my bed. I text Amy. Explain why I didn’t show up. Ask if she wants to share a ride to school tomorrow. I fall asleep waiting for a reply.

  I wake up the next morning. Check my phone. Nothing from Amy. Why? What’s going on? She opens up. Then shuts down. Is it her? Is it me? I’m trying to be a good friend. Not do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. But she pushes me away.

  My mind fast-forwards to this afternoon. One more day to train with Dilly. That’s not enough time. But then, it never was. Amy will be riding a horse she’s trained on all year. Even on a new horse, Megan Wolf will come in first. I’ll be third, at best. The Wyatt annual rodeo will not be a stepping-stone to anywhere. Another year wasted.

  I need to get up. Get dressed. Fix breakfast. Tend to the horses. But my head hurts. And I’m cold. I curl into a ball. Will myself back to sleep.

  “Jade!”

  I open my eyes. Toby looms over me. “Get up.”

  I roll away from him.

  He kicks my bed. “Come on. Seth and I made our own breakfasts. But you need to take care of Dad.”

  “You do it,” I mumble. Then I remember Seth’s
threat. “Okay. Give me a minute.”

  Toby’s footsteps retreat down the hallway.

  “Crap.” I lie there a second longer. Get myself out of bed. Do everything I need to do. By the time I get to school, first period is almost over. Mr. Lynch glances at the clock. “I’ve already turned in attendance, Jade. You’ll have to go to the office this time.”

  I do what I’m told. I always do what I’m told.

  “Do you have a note from your parents?” Mrs. Tibbs, the school secretary, asks.

  I shake my head.

  She sighs. “This is your third truancy, Miss Dobbs. We’ll be sending a letter home to your parents.”

  “Fine.”

  “Truancy is a serious issue.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you? Because you’re not acting like it.”

  The bell rings.

  “I’d better get to class,” I tell her. I give her a look. “Don’t want to be truant.”

  At lunch, Mike keeps talking about the parade. The rodeo. “So I’m thinking of wearing a red plaid shirt,” he says. “Or blue-and-white checks. Which is more cowboyish?”

  I glance at Amy. She sees me. Quickly looks away. “I may not go,” I say.

  “What?”

  “Yeah. I may not go. I’ve got stuff to do at home.”

  “Like what?” He touches my fingers. “Jade. What’s going on? You seem sad. Or mad. Or something. Does this have to do with your mom?”

  “No.” I wish I could tell him about Amy. About who I am. I wish I could get it all off my chest. I guess I can at least tell him about the race. “I haven’t had enough time with Dilly. We’re not going to win.”

  He narrows his eyes. “First of all, I don’t know why you’re so certain of that. But even if you don’t win, isn’t competing important? Isn’t it good experience?”

  I shrug.

  “If I were in your shoes, what would you tell me? Like, if I was going to the state science fair. And I didn’t think my presentation on nanorobots was good enough. Which is ridiculous, of course. It would be fantastic. But would you tell me not to go? That it’s not worth my time?”

  I don’t need to think about it. “No.”

  “Well.” He holds his hands out. Looks at me.

  “This is different. I know I’m going to lose,” I say.

  He rolls his eyes. “No. You don’t. Unless you have some fortune-telling ability I’m not aware of. Which would be really cool, by the way.”

  I tug at bits of spring grass struggling through the hard earth. Force myself not to smile. But I feel a little better. “Okay. I get what you’re saying.”

  The bell rings.

  “Then I will see you tomorrow, missy. My house, nine thirty sharp. Yes?”

  I sigh. “Yes.” He pulls me up.

  Chapter 14

  I make sure things are okay at home. Then I drive to Amy’s. What Mike said made sense. I would have told him to enter that stupid pretend science fair. But that doesn’t make me any more hopeful.

  I walk into the stable. “Jesse?” I call.

  “Yeah! Just a sec.” He comes out of a stall. Brushes his hands off. “Hi, Jade. I’ll get Dilly.”

  “Thanks.”

  He comes back a moment later with her. They stop near the tack room. She swishes her tail. Her gray coat shines. She really is a beautiful horse.

  “Thought I’d see more of you this week,” Jesse says.

  “Yeah. Stuff came up.” I hold Dilly while he saddles her. I go through my training routine in my head. I may not win tomorrow. But I don’t want to make a fool of myself. I want to get as much out of today’s training as I can.

  “Hey, guys.”

  Jesse and I both turn. Amy stands in the doorway. She’s wearing a long satin gown. Her arms are bare. The dark blue sets off her wavy blonde hair. Her pale skin. She twirls. Smiling. Radiant. “So what do you think?” she asks. “I’m going to freeze in the parade. But, oh well.”

  Jesse lets out a whistle. “Wow.”

  I have to look away. I stroke Dilly’s velvet-soft nose.

  “You will be rodeo queen for sure, girl,” Jesse says.

  “What do you think, Jade?” She steps up closer. Just inches away. “Do you like my dress?”

  I don’t get it. Why is she doing this? Does she realize she’s torturing me? I glance at her face. Focus on her eyes. “Yeah. It’s great.”

  She giggles. “You are two of my favorite people in the world. I wanted your opinions. Now I’d better get out of this. Don’t want to ruin it before tomorrow.” She waves. “See you later!” She strolls away.

  “Holy cow,” Jesse mutters. “That is one nice-looking girl.” He shakes his head.

  I don’t say anything. Words don’t fit around the lump in my throat.

  I force myself to focus on training. Either I’m distracted. Or Dilly’s forgotten everything I taught her. She’s shouldering again. I spend as much time righting knocked-over barrels as I do riding.

  We repeat drill after drill. She improves a bit. I end with an easy trail ride. Then lead her back to the stable. Check with Jesse. Make sure he’ll be taking her along with Elvis to the rodeo.

  I get to Mike’s house thirty minutes before the parade starts. Raise my fist to knock. The door swings open. Mike is wearing a red plaid cowboy shirt. Jeans. And white Chuck Taylors. Well, he tried. He presses his finger to his lips. Grabs me. Pulls me inside. Whispers, “Mom’s in the kitchen.”

  He drags me to his bedroom. Closes the door. “We are never, ever alone,” he says. “I’m sick of it.”

  He wraps his arms around me. Kisses me. I kiss him back. He’s breathing hard. I’m not. He glances at the bed. Raises his eyebrows.

  “No. No way,” I say. “We don’t have time. Anyway, your parents are here.”

  He sighs. Lets me go. “I know. But one of these days, okay? Please?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe.” He steps back. “Jade. I know I’m not a hunk. I’m not Troy Regan. Or even Ray Belcher. But you like me, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why does it feel like I’m more into this than you are? Did someone burn you in the past? Did something traumatic happen in your childhood? I mean, I don’t want to say anything bad about your family. But your creepy brothers—”

  “God! Mike, no! They’ve never done anything like that.”

  He holds his hands up. “Sorry! I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say. But I’m crazy about you. And you’re confusing the hell out of me. I want to understand what’s going on.” He takes my hand. “If I can help, I will. I want to.”

  I shake my head. I could have sex with him. I’m sure it wouldn’t be horrible. But it’s not what I want. And it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Because there’s no future in this. I’m using him. I shouldn’t. It needs to stop. Now. I look him in the eyes. Think about how to word it.

  There’s a knock. “Excuse me, Mike?” The door opens. His mom sticks her head in. “Oh, hi, Jade. I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Price.”

  “Coffee cake is ready,” she says. “Come to the kitchen.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Mike says. “We’ll be there in a sec.”

  She leaves the door wide open.

  “We better go.” I turn to follow her.

  “Wait.” Mike holds my wrist. “You were about to tell me something.”

  This isn’t something I can rush. “I will. Another time.”

  He sighs. “Yeah. Another time.”

  I’m nervous. About Mike. About the race. About Amy. I’m still able to scarf two big pieces of coffee cake. It’s warm, crumbly, spicy. Mike’s dad wanders in. “Hi, Jade.”

  “Hi, Mister Price. Are you going to the parade?”

  “Yep. Wouldn’t miss it.”

  I wish Mom were home right now. Going to the rodeo. Watching me ride. I don’t know if Dad and the boys will bother going. Do they even remember it’s today?

  Mike and I
walk to Main Street. The parade starts at the high school. Heads straight down Main. Ends up at the fairgrounds and rodeo arena. There’s not a lot to the parade. A team of palomino horses. The high school band. Floats sponsored by local stores. A few service-club floats. Church floats. More horses. Old cars. A motorcycle club. More horses. The last float carries the three rodeo princesses. They’re dressed in matching cowboy hats and dark blue gowns. The same one Amy modeled yesterday.

  My breath catches when I see her. Unlike last night, it feels okay to stare. Everyone else is. She’s so beautiful my heart aches. She sees me. Waves. Blows me a kiss.

  My stomach tumbles. I have to look away.

  “That’s so cool you guys are friends again,” Mike says. He looks at me when I don’t say anything. “Jade, is something wrong?”

  “Too much amazing coffee cake.” I take a deep breath. Force a tight smile.

  She’s killing me.

  Chapter 15

  The parade ends. Most of the crowd follows the parade to the fairgrounds. The rodeo starts in an hour. There’s a small carnival too. The bars will be busy all day. I have a feeling that’s where my family is.

  Mike holds my hand as we walk. “Sorry about earlier,” he says. “You need to focus on your big race. Not on me.”

  “I’ll talk to you after the rodeo. I promise.”

  “Okay. Can’t wait. At least I think I can’t wait. Do you want to go to the carnival? I’ll buy you a bunch of tickets. Try to win you a very large stuffed animal.”

  I decide I might as well. The opening ceremony is a few hours away. The barrel event is toward the end of the day. Hanging around other competitors will just make me more nervous.

  Anyway, I like carnivals. The smell of popcorn. Hot dogs. The scary rides. Little kids shrieking and laughing.

  A lot of students from school are here. We say hi as we pass them.

  Mike does his best to be nice. Charming. Make me laugh. But I can tell he’s not totally into it. Probably worried about what I’m going to tell him.

  I need to think about this. Figure out what to say. I trust Mike. But I don’t know how much I trust him. Amy knows about me. Seth and Toby suspect. What if I tell Mike and he lets it slip to someone? Like one of his friends? My life will never be the same. Like this carnival. People will stare. Avoid me. Talk about me behind my back. I’ll be the girl who likes other girls. Nothing more.