by Shae Black
I’m surprised at Marcuss cursing, I’m usually the one with the naughty mouth, unless he’s mad, then it’s on, he’s as bad as me. Brian isn’t thrown though he breezes right over the expletive. “Have you had personality changes?” “To put it mildly, yes.” Marcus replies. “Oh? Tell me about it please, sounds like maybe you have negative tendencies, how about headaches, visual or olfactory hallucinations?”
Hmm, I wonder if he’s been seeing things, he hasn’t mentioned it. And imagining smells? I wonder if that’s what he was experiencing earlier when he asked me if I smelled something unpleasant. I’m starting to feel like one of those crazy people who believe they have contracted every disease they study in school. “I’d like to see what you have planned Mr. Carlson, then you can ask me questions.” Marcus pointedly doesn’t refer to Brian as doctor while taking back control of the conversation. Bravo. I don’t know why but I feel smug, I’m glad he isn’t letting Brian lead which is stupid because he’s the neurosurgeon after all, here to consult on a nearly impossible case. Why can’t I feel more appreciative? It’s not like me at all.
“Sure I’d be happy to.” Brian reaches down to a messenger bag I hadn’t seen on the floor until now and slides out a large iPad. After a few taps on the screen Brian moves closer to us on the couch, more like closer to me and I feel Marcus tense and squeeze his fingers around my shoulder. Brian is just doing it so we can see the screen better and he can explain the technique but it feels uncomfortable. He begins the video and goes about showing us every aspect of the procedure and I’m in awe. Not only of his plan to remove the tangled vessel constricting tumor but with how detailed the images of Marcuss brain are.
It takes him a while to summarize everything that the long surgery will entail. Marcus’s front is pressed up against my back, I’ve turned to face Brian on the couch a little. I can feel Marcus’s heart accelerate while we watch and his breath on my cheek quickens, he’s nervous, and rightly so, this isn’t going to be easy. When it’s over Brian lays the iPad on the coffee table. “Any questions for me now that you’ve seen all of that, I know it’s a lot to take in.” “Yes, when would you be able to do it?” I jump in and then instantly think maybe I should have let Marcus be the one to start. “We have a few tests to run beforehand but I would recommend getting started as soon as possible. Frankly, I’m surprised you’re as functional as you are Mr. Castillo. This thing is incredibly large and should be limiting your vision, how is that by the way. When I last spoke to Imani you couldn’t see at all, that’s obviously not the case now, has it completely returned?”
The pause before Marcus answers begins to make me nervous and just when I was going to interject, he responds. “It completely returned for a short time, then got considerably worse, now it comes and goes.” “Well, like I said then, we should do this soon. I have privileges at a hospital in Milan and they have staff there that are experienced and willing to assist.” “How is it that you have privileges in Milan? Long way from home isn’t it?” Marcus asks. “Remember baby, Dr. Carlson travels a lot for special cases.” I remind him, it’s not like him to forget. “Oh yes, of course, that’s right.”
Maria appears at the living room entrance. “Dinner is ready to be served Mr. Castillo, would you like me to hold it a bit longer?” She asks with her thick Spanish accent. “No Maria, we are done here, you can start now.” I have so much more to say but Marcus’s done, he knows the plan and that it needs to be done soon, I think that’s all he can take.” Dinner goes smoothly at least. The weird feeling about Brian lessons as we all dine and drink, the mood becomes more social than professional. We need to get to know Brian, or at least Marcus does. I’ve known him for years from the hospital as a physician, never a friend though. Marcus isn’t a trusting man, even minor things have to be scrutinized and this is about as far from minor as it can be.
Marcus’s had a lot to drink tonight, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him have more than a couple of glasses of wine but tonight the three of us have polished off two bottles and Marcus is on his second scotch on the rocks. He’s getting drunk and I can’t blame him, it’s been a long stressful day but he needs to be careful. I can’t even imagine a drunk evil Marcus. I scoot my chair from the table and take his hand. “You ready for bed?” Brian’s head snaps up at this comment and the weird feeling washes over me again. “I don’t mean to be rude Brian but it’s been a really long day. I have two little babies who need my attention and Marcus needs to rest. I’m sure you’re worn out after the long trip aren’t you?” Wow, that did the trick.
Brian’s face flushes red and his mouth drops open, I stifle a giggle, he has no idea my “little babies” are of the feline persuasion but his reaction convinces me, he’s interested. And that’s going to be trouble. Marcus looks up at me a little glassy eyed and confused. “Yes and No. You know the kittens you just gave me today?” Dr. Carlson falls back in his chair visibly relieved, fuck! I cannot let Marcus know about my suspicion. He will never agree to the surgery if he finds out. “Oh yes, little demons.” I can hear a slight slur in his voice, the alcohol is starting to show its effect. “Mmmhmm, let’s go see what they’ve been getting into.” “You have new pets?” Brian asks and for some reason I have the urge to yell at him. Maybe because he’s on the verge of fucking up my life!
But of course I don’t yell, I rub Marcus's arm up and down trying to keep his focus on me. “Yes, I’ve always wanted a cat but my mother was allergic when I was little. This wonderful sweet man surprised me today with not one but two kittens.” I gaze into Marcus's greens and lay my hand lovingly on his cheek rubbing his rough, way past five o'clock shadow with my thumb. I do love this man so completely, he is my world, my person, the only one who could ever reach me inside my thick protective walls.
It hurts to love someone this intensely sometimes, being so dependent on another for happiness isn’t healthy I know but it’s too late to reverse it now. Brian coughs as he stands and breaks the spell, on purpose I’m sure. “I’ll just head on up to bed then, thank you for dinner it was superb. Italian food at its very best.” Well at least he’s being polite, I think Marcus would have caught on if Brian objected to ending the little party.
“Of course, I own the best restaurants in the country, hell in the world!” Ok, time to get out of here, that was too enthusiastic for my stern, controlled man. I’m not about to let him make a fool of himself in front of Brian. “Yes you do baby, let’s get going.” I pull his hand and he gets to his feet easily enough but holds onto the table a little for support. “Damn eyes.” He complains mostly to himself trying to blame his tipsiness on his vision. “Goodnight.” I call over my shoulder. “Goodnight Imani, you too Marcus.” Marcus waves his arm haphazardly around in the air in a sad attempt at waving goodbye. I hold onto his other arm as we leave the dining room, another sign of affection that we usually don’t take part in but Brian doesn’t know that and I can help steady Marcus as we walk through the house. “Are you ok?” “Yes why?” “Because you had a lot to drink, I was worried.” “What have I told you about worrying baby? You let me handle all of that shit, just be my perfect little girl.”
He turns and engulfs me in a tight hug, I can’t breathe! Shit, he’s drunker than I thought. “Ok, you do the worrying, sorry.” Best to just agree and pacify him until I can get him to bed. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t see very well anymore, I don’t want to ever forget this face.” He cradles my face in his big hands looking into my eyes until he wobbles slightly. “Thank you, Dr. Carlson will fix that soon, but for now let’s get you into bed ok?” “Bed, yes bed sounds good.” Ok we have that all settled, only a few more feet to our room.
Our room, funny how naturally my and his have turned to ours, not to mention the fact that he force fed me millions of dollars in his assets today. I will never be comfortable with that, the houses I can get used to and the shoes, I’d never say no to expensive shoes! But the knowledge that I am legally bound to that kind of money, it’s just not the way I eve
r planned on living my life. So many things have changed since Marcus arrived in my ICU at Seattle Trinity. Marcus has brought me bliss and at the same time pain, passion and agony but most of all a sense of unity and being cherished that I had intended to deny myself forever. We are on the edge of a cliff right now, things are about to change for us and I can only hope and pray it will be a change for the better. United we stand, together we fall, he goes I go, I won’t live without him.
Chapter 31
Getting a six foot five inch tipsy man who is having difficulty seeing undressed and successfully into bed is no easy feat. I’ve done it though, a thin sheen of sweat covers my face from the effort but he’s down. I drag my forearm across my forehead to wipe away the perspiration and kick off my heels. Two little kitties have been watching curiously but surprisingly not interfering, it’s like they know it’s dangerous to toy with Marcus when he’s been drinking. I’m just glad we didn’t have to experience an untimely personality change while he’s in this condition. That could have been disastrous or even deadly.
I cross the bedroom to the closet, Yes and No on my heels and change into a pair of silky shorts and matching camisole set, purple, of course. Propped against the center island of the closet I watch Yes play with a dangling belt from a blouse of mine and I giggle at her, these little fur balls are going to be fun. No does a figure eight through my ankles, weaving in and out nudging his face against my bare toes occasionally. I reach down and scoop him up and I hold him out in front of me for a little talk I’m distracted by my bracelet, rightfully so, it’s the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen and I’m not allowed to remove it no matter how inappropriate it is. A bracelet like this is more suited for a night out on the town in a slinky dress, not jeans and a sweater.
There is no arguing it though, Marcus has made it very clear this is non-negotiable. No wriggles in my hands and I free him to join Yes in her quest to drag my blouse off the hanger. The alcohol has dehydrated me a little and I decide to tip toe down to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. But first I slip a matching silk robe over my night wear, the house is breezy and we do have a guest even though I’m certain he’s passed out after a long day of traveling. Slipping silently through the door and closing it fast to keep Yes and No trapped in the bedroom I realize how creepy the house is at night.
Sconces light the way but the shadows they throw onto the walls and ceiling have me moving faster than I would normally. This is a beautiful house and roaming around during the day is nice, I’m forever finding charmingly decorated areas and occasionally I have even come across a room I’ve not discovered before. I wonder how long until I’ve seen it all? I flip the switch inside the door of the kitchen flooding it with bright light and I instantly relax. I make my way to the refrigerator and grab one of a dozen bottles off the top shelf and examine it. I usually buy plastic bottles of Smartwater but this is a clear glass bottle with lovely etching of the word Glace rare iceberg water, what the hell? Someone melted down an iceberg and bottled it for rich people to drink? That’s utterly ridiculous and even worse it has a fucking cork like top on it! I hold the bottle up screwing up my face wondering how much a bottle of this costs and how the hell am I gonna get the top off of this thing?
“I can help you with that.” Brian says from behind me in the kitchen doorway and I jump and nearly drop the bottle of ancient iceberg water. “Oh! Damn it! You scared the shit out of me Dr. Carlson!” I don’t know why I didn’t call him Brian. The hairs on my arms are crawling with warning and I’m suddenly very thankful I have a set of eyes on me at all times in this house. I hope Elijah is on watch and not Mr. Black, Elijah would keep this under wraps and Saint would not. Another thought bolts through my mind and I’m immediately ashamed. If Marcus can’t see he won’t be able to review this video and he will never know I was alone with Brian in the kitchen tonight.
Nothing’s happened of course, and nothing will, but I know I’m right about Brian’s feelings toward me to some extent and I’m worried he will take advantage of having me alone, away from Marcus. “I’m sorry Imani, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me come in.” “No, it’s ok, I was just not expecting anyone to be in here.” It isn’t fucking ok, it’s really not ok. I need to smoothly get out of here and pray Marcus doesn’t wake up and wonder where I am. Brian approaches me and I instinctively step back, he pauses and looks surprised at my retreat. “Imani? Everything ok?” “Yes, of course.” I laugh nervously, something is off. I can’t help it.
I have a way of knowing when something isn’t right, since my attack it’s like a sixth sense. He extends his hand and I look at it confused until I look at him directly and he pointedly looks at the water bottle. He wants to help me open it. “Oh yes sure, here.” I thrust it at him with too much force and he takes it arching one eyebrow, he knows I’m uncomfortable but he pops the little cork from the bottle and steps closer to me anyway. I’m against the counter now, no way to nonchalantly escape, and he knows it. “So Marcus got off to bed ok, no problems?” “No, he's fine, watching T.V. actually.” I lie. “He’s made quite a career for himself, hasn’t he? It’s amazing that selling Italian food can bring in this kind of extravagance isn’t it?”
His words are harmless but his tone is irritating and it makes me bristle. I stand up a little straighter having new found confidence in my anger. “Yes, he has. Rags to riches kind of story, he deserves it though he’s worked very hard.” I retort and take my water from his hand. “Imani, has anybody told you…his history?” History? What the fuck does he know about Marcus’s history? “I’m not sure what you’re referring to, I know his background, I’ve met his sister and I’m aware of what he was like before the accident.” “Hmmm.” “Is there something you want to say Brian? If there is just say it.”
Now I’m really angry and holding it together by a thread, I’m vibrating and my sight is blurry, that’s how I know I’m past pissed and full on fucking mad. “Don’t get upset please Imani, I’m only worried about you. This man…he’s not like us. He’s from another world, and I don’t just mean the privileged and wealthy I mean the mob. Marcus Castillo is, or was, the leader of the Italian mob. He’s killed people, he’s ruthless…” I’m speechless, where the hell would he get this idea? Really? Where? “I’m sorry to dump all of this on you, I’m glad to catch you alone, I wasn’t sure how I was going to warn you. When you called and told me who the patient was, well I came right away because I was concerned for your welfare and to tell you the real reason why nobody will do his surgery.
Imani physicians are afraid of him, nobody wanted to mess around in a mad man’s brain. If they couldn’t fix it his people would have killed them.” Oh God, oh God, oh God…this is insane, untrue, complete nonsense, not my Marcus. He’s so loving and giving, tender and kind…to me. Brian’s words begin to take ahold and my anger turns to fear, what if he’s telling the truth? What if he’s not just interested in me but trying to save me from a monster? No, as soon as those thoughts creep in I toss them right back out on their ass. It doesn’t matter to me who he was, I love who he is now, today. I love this Marcus not the brutal man he was before. Brian waits for my reaction while I count to ten and draw a deep breath.
“Brian, I appreciate your concern but it’s really unnecessary, he may have been different before his accident but he’s been nothing but perfect to me since we met.” Lies, he’s not been perfect, but no fucking way am I admitting to that, never. “Is that why you were seen in the hospital here for trauma to your neck and throat?” Shit, he’s really been checking up on me, and why? I’m shocked into silent twice in a few short minutes and this time I just stare at him, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, if Marcus were here he would say a bird might poop on my lip if I don’t close it up.
I can’t breathe, panic floods me and I know what’s next, I need help but not from this man feeding me crazy information I have zero desire in knowing! The tunnel vision begins and I raise my hand in the air waving it around like
I’m drowning, because in a way I am. I need Elijah , please, please be watching Elijah ! “Imani? Shit, don’t pass out, here let me help you.” As he advances I try to make my legs move away but I’m past that. I’m going down and Brian’s going to end up catching me, but before he does I hear Marcus roaring in the most terrifying voice and once again a small part of me is thankful for the ability to black out and escape situations like these. I can’t imagine the fallout from this, it’s going to be severe.
Marcus
My fucking head hurts again, it’s different this time though, not the familiar sharp axe cutting it in half, more of an ache. And I’m thirsty, hell more than just thirsty, parched. The dim light hurts my eyes, thank god for that. Every time I open them I pray I’ll still be able to see, to look at the beautiful face of my gorgeous brave queen. Imani…where is she anyway? Her half of the bed is empty and undisturbed but when I sit up I notice her shoes tossed haphazardly on the floor. It’s so easy to put them in their place, why can’t she do that? No matter, she can destroy the room if she likes, as long as she doesn’t leave me again, I can’t live through that. So, shoes, but no beautiful woman. I reach to the bedside table for my phone and speed dial Elijah , he is on watch tonight and I need to know what’s going on and where my Imani has gone.
“Elijah , where is Imani?” I get straight to the point as always, no fucking around with manners or protocol, just give me what I want and lets be done, that’s how I like things to be. Immediately I sense a problem, Elijah is breathing fast, running maybe, fucking hell, I go to sleep for a few minutes and that woman has gotten herself into trouble already! “In the kitchen, with Brian. I thought everything was ok until she started signaling me and I think she’s going to pass out!” Running, yes he’s panting and running! I throw the phone across the room with monumental force and watch for a split second as it explodes into a million pieces before I’m up and running. One single solitary image in my malformed tangled up brain flickers on repeat, Imani and Brian, in the kitchen, alone, and she is panicking! Fucker, I knew something was wrong the second I met him, he’s shady and has lustful eyes for my Imani, MY Imani!