A Family Affair - First Born

by Marilyn McPherson

  Kane’s biological parents had given him up for adoption, but luckily he had been received into a loving and supportive family. Jane and Michael Jarrad had been unsuccessfully trying to have their own baby for years before giving up. Kane had been loved, and had also been told the truth about his adoption from a young age. It was something for which Ellen envied him. Honesty was an important attribute in families – it was a trait which had been lacking in her own.

  When Kane had turned eighteen, he had made some preliminary enquiries about his birth parents, and discovered that his biological mother had died years ago. There was no biological father listed on his birth certificate. The shock and sadness of that discovery had ended his interest in finding his biological family, and as a result Kane had stopped searching the public records.

  Suddenly Kane started moving. “We’re running again,” he instructed, increasing the speed on his own treadmill to a running pace.

  Ellen followed suit and started running too.

  “Five minutes at this pace, Elle.”

  Ellen’s body complied, and she found a comfortable pace and rhythm to maintain for five minutes. Physical exercise provided an escape, a release from the troublesome thoughts which plagued her at other times of the day. Chloe’s untimely death was the burden which bothered her the most. While running, the pain of such memories diminished. The moment was dominated by her pounding heart, her rapid breath and the feel of the treadmill passing quickly beneath each step. At other times of the day, it was impossible not to feel Chloe’s presence around her. Although the sensation didn’t make any sense, it felt as if Chloe was angry, as if she was demanding something in Ellen’s mind. It left Ellen with the sense of there being unresolved issues in her life. It was a bothersome sensation, but one she could mostly ignore.

  Tom and Ellen’s wedding was only two short months away, a thought so incredible it brought a smile to her lips. She just needed to concentrate on the positive parts of her life, of which there were many.

  Kane misinterpreted. “If this is too easy for you, maybe we should turn the speed up.”

  “No, it’s not that,” Ellen said breathlessly, smiling at him. She was running at fifteen kilometres per hour, and would struggle to maintain this pace for too much longer.

  He nodded. “Well, okay, that was five minutes anyway. Let’s hit the spin bikes next. You’ll have to tell me what that smile was about.”

  “Just thoughts of Tom,” Ellen admitted sheepishly. Kane knew about Tom, as she mentioned him probably five times a day. She was so lucky to have a man like Tom in her life. Whenever a negative thought started to interrupt her mood, she could switch her concentration to him, and everything would seem better before long. He had a way of just calming her inner turmoil.

  Ellen jumped on the spin bike and started to pedal. She didn’t mind this piece of equipment, and was even starting to find it relaxing. She powered the pedals with ease, due to the new muscles developing in her legs. As it was fast enough to satisfy Kane’s watchful eye, Ellen relaxed and let her mind wander off in another direction.

  Since the tragic events of last year had passed, Ellen’s life had been incident-free and happy. Tom had ordered a DNA test through his personal physician, and they had both been relieved to discover that the results were negative. There was only a small percentage chance that they were related, which the doctor had described as a statistical variation only. They were not father and daughter, and not related in any way.

  To celebrate, Tom had whisked her away to Switzerland for a surprise holiday. It was two weeks of bliss, without mobile phones or computers or journalists anywhere to be found. They had made an agreement to leave the kidnapping, and the horror of Colleen’s and Chloe’s deaths in the past.

  After a day’s hiking in snow shoes in the Jura Mountains, Tom had proposed marriage at a quiet scenic lookout. Ellen had cried with surprise and overwhelming joy, before responding yes with all her heart. She wanted the world to know that she loved Tom, and that he loved her in return.

  That night, they made love for the first time. Tom had booked them separate rooms, so that Ellen hadn’t felt any pressure. The gesture had been considerate and thoughtful, but Ellen had finally felt ready to take the next step. After dinner she asked timidly, if perhaps she could stay with him in the same bed. Tom’s jaw had dropped, and they’d left without ordering dessert. Ellen laughed to herself remembering it. He’d been ready and willing to make love, but had shown gentle restraint by going slow each step of the way. It was a far cry from the frantic and passionate ways they had been making love since then.

  The holiday provided the perfect opportunity for Tom and Ellen to commit their hearts and minds to each other. It had been the most perfect way to deepen their relationship.

  Back in Melbourne, nothing had changed between Hayden and her. He didn’t move an inch if she walked into a room, and was indifferent to her presence. Sometimes he wouldn’t even look up unless she asked him a question. Part of Ellen had hoped that their relationship would change after her engagement to Tom was announced, but it hadn’t. Hayden truly didn’t love her, and didn’t want any sort of father / daughter relationship.

  Suddenly Ellen’s attention snapped back to the present moment. Time had passed quickly and Kane was now pointing towards the weights. “Let’s get some more tone on those arms.”

  As the first piece of equipment Kane led her towards was new, he sat behind her in order to demonstrate the correct lifting technique. As Ellen practiced, she looked around the gym in response to the unmistakable feeling that even more eyes than normal were watching. She was right. It was funny how some of the women kept watching, while others turned away in response to Ellen’s glance in their direction.

  “The women are watching me again,” Ellen whispered to him, in such a way that no one else would hear.

  He chuckled in response. “Nobody is watching us. Just concentrate on what I’m showing you. You don’t want to drop this much weight.”

  Ellen focussed on the weight she was pulling towards her until she was confident in her technique.

  “That’s perfect, Ellen,” Kane said, noticing her improved concentration. “Keep going. Ten more.”

  “I’ll do twenty more if you admit that you have noticed all the women watching us,” Ellen teased, while maintaining her perfect technique.

  Kane smiled.

  Of course he had noticed.

  Suddenly he leaned in closer until he was only inches away from her neck. “Maybe we should give them something more interesting to watch.”

  Ellen laughed. Of course he was only joking, but sometimes he pushed things too far.

  Kane leaned back and slid off the equipment so he could watch her technique from the front.

  Ellen was starting to struggle with the weight.

  “Is that too heavy? Should I reduce the load?”

  “No, it’s fine,” she lied, enjoying the challenge.

  “Five more, then you can recover for a few minutes.”

  Ellen’s arms were burning by the time the repetitions were finished, and she slumped into a nearby chair to recover.

  Kane passed her a bottle of water and her towel, and sat beside her, while drinking from his own bottle.

  After taking a long drink and gently shaking her arms to relieve the muscle tension, Ellen considered the situation in more detail. Kane was single, and yet he was obviously desired by more than his fair share of women. “Tell me again why you don’t have a girlfriend,” Ellen asked quietly. “It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

  Kane looked surprised with the direction of her thoughts, but looked over with interest. “Doesn’t it?”

  “No,” Ellen confirmed. “I mean, there are at least ten women in this room who will be thinking about you tonight.”

  Kane laughed. “Only ten?”

  “At least ten,” Ellen repeated.

  “Maybe there is something wrong with my personality,” Kane offered in all seriousness.
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br />   Ellen laughed. There was nothing wrong with his personality. “I don’t think so, Kane. You’re one of the nicest men I know.”

  “Nice?” Kane repeated with disgust. “Come on. There’s no need to say horrible things like that to me. Girls don’t like nice guys.”

  “Yes, they do,” Ellen insisted, while laughing at his sudden pose of aggression and manliness. “You would make a lovely, kind, sweet boyfriend. I can tell.”

  After a short moment of reflection, Kane looked at Ellen thoughtfully. “I guess the problem is that the girls I like don’t seem to like me back.”

  Ellen made a sad face in his direction, not believing a word of it. Who wouldn’t like Kane? He could have his pick of women.

  Kane laughed. “Well, Ellen – if I’m so hard to resist, why don’t you want to date me?”

  “Come on.” Kane was well aware of her upcoming wedding. The wedding was the main reason she had started going to the gym. “I’m not single.”

  Kane ignored her comments. “Of course, I’m not allowed to date clients, so you’ll have to sack me as your trainer first.”

  Ellen laughed, and gave him a punch. “There are a lot of lovely single women in this city to choose from, Kane. A lot of lovely single women.”

  “Well, if you change your mind about that old guy you are dating.”

  “We’re not dating. We’re engaged.... and he is not old.”

  Kane smiled. “Whatever.” After a short pause, he continued mumbling in the same train of thought. “You’ll have to move him into a nursing home before too long, you know.”

  “He’s about your age.”

  “Is not.”

  Ellen laughed. Her age difference with Tom had never been an issue. Perhaps it had been in the early days to Margaret – Tom’s mother, but not so much even with her now.

  “In all seriousness,” Kane continued. “I don’t want you to go through with something that you might regret later on in life.”

  Ellen stared at Kane in surprise. He didn’t appear to be joking, which only made his statement even more strange. Deciding to marry Tom was the easiest decision she’d ever made. “You don’t need to worry, Kane.”

  “You haven’t known each other very long. You took a modelling contract with his company, and then all of a sudden he’s in love with you. Doesn’t that seem a little strange?”

  “We’ve known each other long enough to know what we want.”

  “Have you?” he asked slyly.

  Ellen looked at him with a new understanding. “I know what you are doing, you know.”

  “What am I doing?”

  “Well, you’re my friend, so you think that you should challenge my thinking. You want to make sure that I know what I’m doing in my own head; that I’m confident in my choices. I can see that you are just looking out for me, so I’m not annoyed by what you just said. But I am confident... I promise you that. I love Tom. He loves me. We balance each other’s personalities. I feel protected and loved when I’m with him. We belong together. He makes me laugh. It was meant to be, and all that.”

  “Other men can offer you the things that he offers - other men, who are closer to your age.”

  “Age is just a number.”

  “I worry about the sort of man who in his late thirties decides to marry a nineteen-year old girl.”

  “I’ll be twenty soon.” Ellen paused to think through her feelings more. “Have you ever just known something to be right? It’s hard to explain, but... I feel that we were meant to be married. It’s as if I was made to fit perfectly with him, and he with me. To be honest, we find it difficult to be away from each other these days. I miss him so soon when we’re apart, even though I try and have my own life... and not crowd him. He is so busy running the company. I’m going to university this year, you know. I’ve enrolled in a commerce degree and am waiting for the new semester to start.”

  “I know. You mentioned that before.”

  “Now that my contract with Satinol is finished, I will have time to study, while also being a good wife. So, you really don’t need to worry about anything. We’ll be married forever, like those old couples you see around town holding hands.”

  “But you haven’t moved in with him yet, have you?”

  “No, but what does that have to do with anything?”

  Kane shrugged his shoulders. “What happens if you get married and then you discover you can’t live together very happily?”

  That seemed unlikely to Ellen. “He wants me to move in now, you know. We talk about it all the time. I don’t know though... I think it’s nice to save something exciting until after the wedding. Maybe I will move in before then, I don’t know. It would make certain things easier, since I stay there all the time as it is.” Being in the apartment where Chloe had jumped to her death was not easy in any case. Ellen would probably never step onto that balcony again.

  Kane turned his head away, and Ellen wondered what he was thinking.

  “I’ll be moving in as soon as we’re married, and I can’t wait to live with him. Besides, the house is too big for us to get on each other’s nerves. Everything is going to be fine; you don’t need to worry about a thing.”

  “I’m worrying, because I care about you.”

  He’d never said anything about his feelings before. “I know.” Ellen felt close to him too. Their friendship had always felt so natural.

  “I know I’m just your trainer, and well... probably shouldn’t say anything like I just did, but I can’t help wanting the best for you.”

  “Tom is what’s best for me.”

  Kane shook his head. “What about that big house he owns?”

  “What about it?”

  “I just can’t see you living there very happily. How will it ever truly feel like your home?”

  Ellen had to admit the thought had crossed her mind. It was larger than any home she had ever lived in, and the many empty rooms could feel rather sterile at times when she visited. Luckily Tom had already considered the issue, and suggested a solution. They were going to redecorate it together. “It will feel more like my home before too long.”

  Kane was silent. As Tom was considerate and doing everything perfectly to prepare for Ellen’s arrival, it was hard for Kane to find fault with him. She wondered why he was trying so hard to do that.

  “I think we’re done for today,” he announced, standing up. “You can get changed.”

  He seemed quite despondent. It was sometimes hard to understand why Kane couldn’t be excited for her the way she wanted. “Thanks for the workout. See you tomorrow, Kane.”

  “Yep,” he said, without looking up as she left.

  Chapter 5

  Hayden walked into Tom’s office with determination in his stride. “We need to talk,” he said, shutting the door behind him.

  Tom was happy to see his friend and colleague, as they needed to discuss something much more important than business. “Hayden, good afternoon.”

  Hayden was pacing backwards and forwards, obviously focussed. “Tom. I need to talk you through an idea I have for improving our cash flow in the European market, and...”

  “I’m glad you came to see me today.”

  Hayden looked puzzled, and stopped moving.

  Tom knew that Hayden didn’t like to be interrupted. “Is it all right if we discuss business later?” he asked with a friendly smile. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something important.”

  “Of course, Tom.”

  “Take a seat.”

  “Do I need to sit down for this?”

  “No, but it will make me feel more comfortable.”

  “As you wish.” Hayden promptly sat down on the chair in front of Tom’s desk.

  Tom looked at his friend directly, wanting to see his reaction. “I want to ask you if you’ll be my best man at the wedding.”

  “Oh, of course,” Hayden said, smiling in response.

  The smile seemed somewhat forced but Tom couldn’t blame him. His
friend had never married and weddings probably weren’t his idea of a good time. “You know that I don’t have too many close friends, Hayden. It will mean everything to me if you are there, standing next to me on the big day.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You couldn’t have found a better wife.”

  “I know. I just can’t believe I’m going to be married to Elle soon. Well, this is great,” Tom said, clapping his hands. He stood up and came around to shake Hayden’s hand firmly. “I should have asked you sooner of course, but we’re putting this together at such short notice. The wedding planner is moving very quickly, but these sorts of details are slipping through the cracks.”

  “I trust that everything is under control.”

  “Yes, there is nothing for you to worry about.”

  “I should let you know that I’ve asked Dad to stand next to me too.”

  “It will be a marvellous occasion.”

  That statement was definitely forced and it made Tom laugh.

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “Never mind.”

  “How is Ellen handling the pressure? I see the press are increasing their coverage of the event.”

  The intensity of the press was starting to worry Tom too. “I’m shielding her as much as possible, so she can just enjoy the time leading up to the wedding. If I have my way, Ellen is going to have the kind of wedding that girls normally only dream about.”

  “Hmmm.” Hayden didn’t look convinced.

  “There is something, but I’m not sure whether I should worry about it or not.”

  “What?”

  “Ellen is refusing to ask anyone to be her bridesmaid. She says she doesn’t feel close enough to anyone. So, there will be two best men and no bridesmaids.”

  “Does she mind your asking me?”

  “No, why would she?”

  “She might prefer a smaller private ceremony. No best men or bridesmaids.”

  Tom had never actually considered that Ellen might prefer a smaller wedding. Didn’t all women want a grand affair? Oh well, it was too late for that scenario. “Elle is happy that I have a close male friend that I can trust.” Tom slapped his friend on the shoulder. “And of course, I couldn’t get married without the old man there. She understands and supports my decision to have you both there. I’m sure she wouldn’t want it any other way.”