A Family Affair - First Born

by Marilyn McPherson

  Ever since learning of his adoption as a young boy, Kane had struggled with the feeling that he did not belong in this world; he did not belong to anyone. Yes, his adoptive parents had always said they loved him, and they seemed sincere, but he did not truly belong to them. The fact that his birth parents gave him away was so hard to deal with. He had worked hard to make a life for himself, and to make them proud, but deep down the feelings had never been overcome. Until now, that is.

  As he watched Ellen, he realised that he did belong in this world. He belonged to her. The old feelings were like a dream from the past. He tried to recall them, but they faded into the background of his mind. How could he not have seen it until now? She belonged to him in the same way. Their bodies bonded perfectly last night. Ellen had called to him in the night, and allowed him to comfort her. One thing had led to another and they had kissed and made love. She hadn’t pushed him away. In fact, she had encouraged him. Maybe she had come to her senses, realising that Tom was too old for her. It was true that he didn’t have as much money as Tom, but he owned his apartment, and he would work hard to provide her with everything else she needed.

  It had not been easy to be Ellen’s personal trainer over the past three months. Being so close to her every day, but not being allowed to touch her. He had wanted to kiss her so many times in the gym. The only thing that had stopped him was her constant talk of Tom. Tom this... Tom that... It had been aggravating, but the time for being denied and pushed away was over. Ellen was now his to keep. She was naked in his bed, and so beautiful. She had chosen him over Tom. What a fool that man must be, Kane thought. He’d taken another woman on a date while engaged to Ellen. Kane would never hurt her that way. There would only be room for one woman in his life.

  She was as beautiful in the morning as she was in the magazines, of which he had collected numerous. Her soft hair fanned her angelic face. As she was naked under his bed covers, he wished she would roll over so he could see the curves of her breasts again.

  Suddenly Ellen stirred, and groggily opened her eyes, catching him in the act of watching her. Her eyes seemed confused, as if her brain was struggling to catch-up.

  “Morning, Elle,” Kane said, with concern. “I’m so happy you are awake. How about I make you breakfast in bed?”

  “Where am I?”

  “My place, silly.”

  Ellen lifted the covers. “I’m naked under here.”

  “I know.”

  “Why am I naked? Naked... at your house?”

  Kane wondered why she was looking so confused. She shouldn’t be looking at him in that way, not after last night. “I’ll make us some coffee.” He slid out of the bed and headed for the kitchen.

  “Did we?”

  It was a strange question. She had called to him in the night. She should remember what they did. He would never forget. He couldn’t answer her.

  “We didn’t...”

  Kane was disappointed in her attitude which was destroying his happy buzz from earlier. From the kitchen, Kane could hear her moving about frantically, obviously looking for her clothes. He gave her a few seconds and went back to check that she was okay. “Hey, where are you going?” he asked.

  Ellen was fully dressed and heading for the door. “Did you drug me or something?” she asked angrily.

  “What?” Why would she say that? Kane’s head was starting to spin.

  “I don’t remember anything.”

  How could she not remember the most beautiful night of his life? “You don’t remember anything? You don’t remember being with me?” he asked sadly.

  “Well, did you drug me?”

  “Of course not! How could you say something like that to me?” Kane’s heart was breaking with every word that came out of her mouth. Couldn’t she see how much he loved her? “Ellen, I would never hurt you. I care about you too much.”

  “What happened then?”

  “Come and sit down, please. Have the coffee I just made for you.”

  “No, thanks.”

  Kane felt disappointment ripple through his body. She was looking at the coffee with suspicion. Did she think he had spiked it or something? He pushed those feelings aside and put the coffees down. If she didn’t want coffee she didn’t have to have it. He tried to explain, “You were upset because Tom went on a date. We had a couple of drinks. I comforted you. You took a sleeping tablet to help you sleep.”

  Ellen looked upwards. “I think I remember that.”

  “Right. That’s good. Keep trying to remember.”

  “And then...? How did I end up in your bed?”

  “You called out for me in the night. I came to check on you, and you started kissing me.”

  Ellen looked horrified to hear that she started kissing him. “Why didn’t you resist? I didn’t know it was you. The sleeping pill must have reacted with the wine somehow...”

  “I tried to walk away from you, but you followed me back into my bedroom. I thought you wanted me too.” Kane shook his head. “I love you, Ellen. I see now that we belong together. I’m not going to pretend otherwise anymore. I want to love you again, every night. I’ve felt this way ever since we met. I’m not going to fight you off, as if you mean nothing to me.”

  “You know I don’t feel the same. I could never love you.” The look in her eyes told Kane that she meant it.

  “But he cheated on you. He is too old for you to be with.”

  “Nonsense.” Ellen looked at him with anger and disgust written all over her face. “I can’t see you again. I can’t believe what seems to have happened. Please don’t tell anyone. This shouldn’t have happened.” Ellen was walking towards his door and he saw that she was shaking.

  “I’ll call you. We can talk about this later on.” Kane couldn’t believe that she was really leaving.

  “No. Don’t call me. Ever again.”

  Chapter 8

  Waves of shame and regret rolled through Ellen as she left Kane’s apartment on foot. She had left with only one shoe on, in a bid to get out of there as quickly as possible. The alcohol and sleeping pill had created a hung-over drowsy feeling in her, but luckily her mind was clearing rapidly. The fresh air must have been helping too. Tom would have a reasonable explanation for his dinner date last night. It was her who had betrayed his trust.

  Remembering that her phone was off, she found it in her handbag switched it on. Three missed calls from Tom, and two text messages.

  Hey Elle. You’ve got your phone off, I guess. Call me when u r free. Xox

  Going to bed now zzz. Hope the dress fitting was fantastic. Can’t wait until big day. Love you. T xox

  Ellen’s phone started ringing once she was finished reading the message from last night. It was Tom.

  “Hi,” she said, answering.

  “Hey, your phone’s back on.”

  “Sorry. I forgot it was off.”

  Tom laughed. “That’s not like you. How was the fitting? I’m dying to hear about it.”

  “Postponed. The designer was sick.”

  “Oh, no. If I’d known I would have come over. What did you get up to then?”

  Ellen paused. This was definitely not a conversation to have over the phone. “Listen, I’m not feeling too well.”

  “That’s not good. I was going to see if you wanted to meet for breakfast.”

  “Are you free later on?”

  “Of course. Wait a sec.” Ellen guessed Tom was checking his calendar, as the line went quiet. “I can pop over after eleven. Will you be home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I bring you anything?”

  All Ellen wanted in this moment was to relive the past twenty-four hours again, and to do things differently. Maybe Panadol and coffee were a close second place, but she herself could find those things. “No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”

  “I missed you last night. I’ll see you soon.” He seemed sincere.

  Ellen was feeling very silly all of a sudden for the way she had reacted. She checked her w
atch. It was a little past seven o’clock. The sun was up but its rays offered her no warmth. Her heart was cold and afraid.

  Normally she would be up at this time of day and preparing for a workout. How had everything gone wrong so quickly? She would need at least a couple of hours to freshen up, and could only imagine how bad she looked at the moment.

  When Tom arrived after eleven as promised, Ellen had scrubbed her skin to remove any trace of Kane’s touch, cleaned her teeth thoroughly and drank three coffees. She was alert and focussed, and ready to hear Tom’s version of events without jumping to any conclusions this time. She was definitely not ready to talk about what had happened with Kane. She herself didn’t understand it yet.

  He kissed her softly on the cheek, while looking quite worried. “How are you feeling?” Ellen was about to answer when he revealed a takeaway container which smelled of hot soup. “It’s chicken noodle.”

  She smiled, trying to look pleased. Eating was the last thing on her mind. “Thank you. Now that you’re here, I’m feeling better.” Being around Tom helped her forget about the past twenty-four hours. It was starting to seem like a bad dream.

  “I had a missed call from you last night. I had my phone off too for a short while.”

  This was Ellen’s chance. “What were you doing?”

  “Just business.”

  Ellen’s heart sunk. It certainly hadn’t been business that she saw. Why wasn’t he telling her the truth?

  “What’s wrong, Elle?” He could read her so well.

  “Elizabeth told me about your restaurant booking. I dropped in and I saw you...” She said the words slowly, trying to find meaning in what she had seen.

  “Oh.”

  “You were out with a woman, who was pretty and well dressed. It didn’t look like business.”

  “You’re not thinking...” Tom seemed surprised with their conversation. “I would never do what you’re thinking, you know.”

  “What was going on then?”

  “I can’t believe you are asking me this.”

  Ellen didn’t say anything, hoping he would continue explaining.

  “Well, it was going to be a surprise.” Tom took a deep breath and looked disappointed. “I can see from your expression that I’m going to have to tell you.”

  Ellen’s eyes dropped to the ground. It was hard to look at someone when accusing them of betraying you. “I’m sorry for asking,” she whispered.

  “Last week, I rang some contacts in order to meet Nikki Lucas – the singer. She is the lead singer of the Blue Roses. Remember, we heard that song while shopping last week. You said you liked it.”

  Ellen remembered of course but hadn’t thought Tom was paying attention to her comment.

  “Anyway, she agreed to meet me for drinks. I asked her to perform at our reception, Elle. Just her, not the band. I can assure you it was definitely not a date. I wanted her performance to be a surprise for you; something magical for our first dance as husband and wife. Nikki and I ordered drinks and because she was hungry, I ordered a shared entrée. She had to meet someone at eight, so we didn’t stay there long. I was talking about you most of the time, you know.”

  “Oh.”

  “You should have joined us if you were there. I can’t believe you don’t trust me?”

  Ellen felt the tears starting to form, as his accusatory tone echoed in her head. “I guess it just makes more sense,” she softly explained.

  “What does?”

  “You being with a famous singer. When I saw the two of you, it just looked right, you know.”

  Tom pulled Ellen’s hand towards the sofa, and they both sat down next to each other. “No, I don’t know that. I obviously need to show you exactly what you mean to me. It’s clear that you have no idea. I’ve spent years dating different women – some of them exactly like Nikki. None of them have ever meant to me what you meant from the very first moment I saw you. From that second, you understand, you changed something in me. I’m not going to throw away our relationship for another woman. It’s almost absurd that you are feeling insecure.” Tom shook his head. “If only you could see the situation from my perspective, you would understand. Forgive me, Ellen, for what happened with Chloe, and for not showing you what you mean to me. Let me make it up to you. You’ll never feel insecure again, I promise.”

  Tom shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Memories of waking up next to Kane were flashing in Ellen’s mind - awful, wrong images. She wasn’t ready to tell Tom about her night. How could she explain something that her mind and body were still denying?

  “You still seem upset, Ellen. Tell me how I can make this right.”

  Ellen sipped the soup that Tom had put into her hand. “I guess there are just a lot of different things on my mind. It all just built up on me.” Ellen took a deep breath and tried to explain. “I like to pretend that I’m okay, but maybe things are bothering me more than I realise.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like the wedding preparations, Chloe’s death, the kidnapping, and the fact that Ted still hasn’t been caught.” It was a small lie as none of those things were actually bothering Ellen anymore. However, her reasons were plausible enough to distract Tom from interrogating her further.

  “My poor, Elle. It’s fine for you to be still hurting over what happened last year. You don’t need to worry about telling me how you feel. You know, Hayden has some contacts in the police. I will ask him to find out about the investigation into Ted Blake’s whereabouts. I want to know why they haven’t caught him yet as well.”

  Chapter 9

  Ted sat very still, his hands tightly clasped on the steering wheel in his parked car. He was outside a service station near the small rural town of Donald in regional Victoria. To the occasional farmer or townsperson who passed him, nothing looked out of the ordinary. He was just a man who had put petrol in his car, now taking a moment before driving away. But this was not an ordinary man in an ordinary situation. Ted was in the process of making a very important decision.

  He had been keeping a low profile ever since he’d released the girl. The coppers were looking for him – there was no doubt, but their hounding of him was unfair. He hadn’t hurt Colleen’s daughter. He’d kept the girl only a week. They should all be thanking him for trying to stop it. A daughter marrying her own father was sickening.

  But they weren’t thanking him, he knew. They wanted him back in jail, but they hadn’t caught him yet. He’d moved from town to town, taking odd jobs from the type of people who would be unlikely to dob him in. In fact, he was on the way to a shearing job two hundred kilometres further inland. The farmer was offering good money, as it was hard to get people to live in such an isolated place. Isolation suited Ted just fine at the moment.

  It was a strange sensation to be sitting here in his car not moving. He had been in a hurry only minutes before. He’d been walking towards the counter to pay when he’d glanced at the rack of magazines and newspapers. The girl – Ellen, his Colleen’s daughter, was going to marry the makeup man. It was unbelievable. The newspaper’s front page announced it, so it must be true. How could the girl have decided to marry him? After everything he’d told her. It didn’t make sense.

  There was a decision to be made here in this car, at this very moment. Ted could feel the importance of this decision rippling through his body. His decision would change lives.

  One option was to forget the girl; to pretend she never existed, and keep driving towards the job. The other option was to turn the car around, drive to Melbourne and stop this sham of a wedding.

  The second option was more risky of course as there were more coppers in the city. His picture was probably hanging in all their police stations. But the idea of the girl getting married was infuriating. She was acting as if everything was right in the world, as if Col hadn’t been murdered by the makeup guy.

  Their wedding would be hard to ignore if he kept driving towards the shearing work. It would eat him up inside. Ted had to d
o something. He had to set things right once and for all. The newspaper people needed to know the truth.

  He slammed his hands on the wheel in frustration and gritted his teeth. There was no choice for him, not really. He started the engine, reversed the car, and headed back in the direction he had come from. This farce of a wedding had to be stopped, one way or another.

  Chapter 10

  Three weeks later and Ellen knew there was no denying it. Her period was late, and it was never late. Four days to be exact. The obvious couldn’t be denied any longer. Ellen grabbed sunglasses, a cap, her bag and coat, and headed for the nearest chemist.

  “Please don’t be pregnant! Please don’t be pregnant!” she told her body.

  She didn’t know if Kane had used protection on that one horrible night. It was such a hazy memory. She hadn’t seen him since leaving his apartment in shame the next morning, although he had started calling every day – sometimes twice per day. She never answered. Sooner or later she knew the calls would stop. He was going to get the message. Her night with him was a tragic mistake. It was Tom she loved, and as if to prove it to herself, she had no intention of ever seeing Kane again.

  While in Switzerland, Tom had talked of the future that he saw for them as a couple. He wanted a family and for him and Ellen to raise happy and well-balanced children together in harmony. Ellen wanted to make him happy, but also to go to university. If she hadn’t met Tom, children probably wouldn’t have been a priority for some years. However, given his age and his desire to be a father, they had taken a relaxed approach to birth control. They had been so confident in their upcoming life together. It had been as if nothing could keep them apart. Given their attitude to birth control and the hazy memories associated with the night with Kane, the pregnancy could be either man’s. It was the worst case scenario.

  Ellen purchased two pregnancy tests, and immediately went home, jogging most of the way. There was no time to waste. She grabbed a plastic cup from the kitchen and headed for the bathroom. The instructions were easy enough to follow.