by Roxy Wilson
He checked the box, a little beyond the entrance, in which he’d dumped the wood yesterday. It was full the last time he saw it, but now it was partially empty. That meant she’d already come and taken some. That was nearly fifteen minutes ago. Maybe she was already back in the cabin and he, like a fool, was searching for her here. But if she’d come back, he would have seen her…unless they’d missed each other because of the fury of the storm.
Toby grabbed a deep breath and expelled it. And then another and another. He stepped out again. He couldn’t see the cabin, although he was aware that it was right in front of him. Gently, he tugged the rope to make sure that it was still attached to the post. Reassured that he was tethered to the cabin, Toby debated what to do. He could go back and check if Brielle was there. But if she wasn’t, what would he do then?
“Brielle!” he called out. The howling wind carried his voice away. Even if she was around, she wouldn’t be able hear him. But he couldn’t give up. “Brielle!” he yelled even louder. No answer came. Toby took a few steps forward. “Brielle!”
Then, he heard something different. It wasn’t the blustering wind, he was sure. But was he imaging things? He stood quietly. And listened. No. Nothing. “Brielle!” he yelled again.
It would be foolish to step to the side and walk without a specific aim. But still, he couldn’t march back to the cabin. If she wasn’t there…
Stepping a little to the side, he walked with his arms spread out. Maybe she fell down on the way back? It was possible that she lost her sense of direction and then…
Horrible thoughts careened into his mind. He imagined himself coming across her frozen body when the squall died. Her beautiful face buried in snow, her dark, delightful eyes frozen forever in a blank expression, her lifeless body…
No!
Suddenly, he heard something again. “Brielle!” he yelled.
“Toby!” There was no mistaking her voice, though it sounded a bit weak. He moved in the direction where he thought he heard the faint voice, and sure enough, he collided into her. His arms went around her before she could fall.
Without speaking, he grabbed her in a fireman’s hold. Not a word of protest came from her lips. That worried him, because had she been herself, she would have protested about the way in which he was manhandling her. But he didn’t have much of a choice. She would be too weak to struggle against the strong winds on her own, so this was his only option. He didn’t want to waste any time out there; his first priority was to get her into the warmth of the cabin and check her out to make sure she was all right. With his free hand, he gathered the rope and drew closer and closer to the cabin until he stumbled upon the steps of the patio and climbed up. It took some doing for him untie the rope with one hand—his years as a Boy Scout didn’t go wasted—because he didn’t want to let go of his precious burden. After freeing himself and allowing the rope to fall unhindered at his feet, he turned the door knob and strode into the cabin.
Gently, he lowered Brielle to her feet. He swiped the hat from her head and unwrapped the heavy, woolen scarf from her neck.
“You okay, baby?” He pulled off his gloves and then reached for the buttons of her jacket and began to unbutton it. His fingers fumbled on the last two buttons as his brain finally registered what he was doing. His mind was so numb from the ordeal, that he’d been operating on auto-pilot.
She nodded. “Ye—Yes.” He heard plunk, plunk, plunk as a small pile of wood tumbled onto the wooden floor. He was in such a hurry to get Brielle safely inside, that he didn’t realize that she held some of the wood he’d chopped. She moved her arms to make it easier for Toby to tug the jacket free. Her eyes followed his movements as he tossed the jacket on the floor. Her gaze fixed on his. Tears shone in her eyes.
Toby studied her features to see if there was any truth in her words. “Sure?” He rubbed the length of her arms vigorously. He needed to warm her up pretty fast.
Brielle nodded again and awarded him with a tremulous smile. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Satisfied, he felt some of the pent-up tension ease from his body.
And then he did it.
He pulled her into his arms and claimed her lips. They were as soft as he had remembered. Slick, too, with the flick of her tongue across the smooth surface. He took it slow, though he wanted so much more. Pressing gently, he just held her and breathed in her exhaled breath. All his thoughts—so many more and for so much longer than he would ever admit to—of what she would smell and taste like were wrong. Utterly wrong. Her breath smelled like warm butter and cinnamon.
The tip of his tongue danced along the seal of their lips. She opened ever so slightly, her brain reminding her she needed oxygen. He slipped between the plump, swollen, and succulent flesh. Her sharp expulsion of air tickled his chin.
Easing further into her mouth, he caressed her perfect, white teeth. The taste of warm butter became even more pronounced. The spice of cinnamon was highlighted with the coolness of a splash of spearmint and he realized she’d chewed some gum recently. The butter and cinnamon were all her own. Suddenly, he hated the gum. Had he known before, he would have declared anything artificial off-limits. The mint was disconcerting. He wanted her as she was.
Her own tongue was preparing to play games. He felt the tip creep from between her teeth and he met her there. He lapped at her, flicked his tongue against hers, and teased her into more. She opened on a reverberating sigh. His tongue wrapped around hers in a hurry, wrestling her for control. He thrust into her mouth, a mimicry of the act he wished for now more than anything. He withdrew, only to take her by surprise again and again.
She gave in easily, moaning. He swiped and swirled, tasting her everywhere. He suckled from her. Fed from her like an infant. She was his lifeline, his sustenance. Nerves throughout his body raged to life. Flames of sensation were lit, a bellow from Brielle herself enough to set his blood boiling.
Wrapping his arms around her back, he lifted one to cup her cheek. His thumb caressed her beneath the chin. He gripped and tilted her mouth up to meet his own more fully. He needed her complete surrender. Pulling back, he pecked chaste, simple kisses on her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were glazed over, her pupils dilated, lids half-drooping. His reflection glistened in her wide doe eyes. He could have her this instant if he wanted.
Returning to her lips, he let her explore his own mouth as she saw fit, and he reveled in the enthusiasm she showed, the force with which she tasted him. He concentrated on her scent. Her fruity and fun perfume. The smell of her strawberry shampoo and green tea conditioner. Everything about her had him growing hard. Everything mixed together in a vibrant and explosive cocktail.
Feeling her body pressed against his, relief flooded through his nerves. If anything had happened to her, he wouldn’t have been able to survive the blow.
That thought made him freeze. Up until that point, he didn’t realize that somewhere in a deep corner of his heart, love still flourished. But he didn’t want this. Once was enough. After letting her go, he stepped away. “Sorry. I was just too stressed from what happened.”
She appeared incapable of speech. After opening her mouth, she closed it again. “Sorry.”
“It’s all right. You’re fine, and that’s all that matters.”
“I was sure I knew the way back…I was scared…” She shook her head, wiped the tears off, and backed away from him. “Thank you for saving my life.”
“You almost gave me a heart attack.” He smiled to assure her that he wasn’t angry with her, just damned relieved. “We can survive inside without the wood.” He longed to pull her into his arms again and experience that kiss, but…
“I was crazy to go out,” she said.
Toby didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to be drawn into a discussion. Not because he was pissed but because he was so happy that she was all right, he might just be tempted to pull her into his arms again, to feel her in his arms again. Did she realize how close she
came to dying? Even the mere thought of it made a tizzy of fear slide up his spine.
After she went into her room to change, he picked up the rope, carried it back to the store room, and put it in its place. Thank God it was there when he needed it. The cabin was well stocked. Whoever managed it took care of little details. It was probably Lexi, he decided. She was the one who was the most organized. But Brielle was the one with the kindest heart. She was the one who noticed the wounded animal or a person who wasn’t feeling happy. Her nature was compassionate and caring.
Going back to his phone, Toby began to reply to his emails in a systematic manner. He checked the weather forecast and was delighted to learn that the storm was expected to lessen by afternoon. After checking Google maps for directions, he called one of the drivers employed by his company and gave him directions to the cabin. If it stopped snowing, and the road was clear, the driver would come and pick him up.
After the kiss, there was a certain awkwardness between them. Toby didn’t want to talk too much. His heart was too invested in her well-being, and the fact was enough to rattle him. He would be a fool not to acknowledge to himself that he still cared about her, love her. But he couldn’t risk his heart again, to give in to the emotions. After what she did when she was married to him, he would never be able to put himself in that vulnerable situation again.
Brielle returned. She looked demure in a lightweight turtleneck sweater and a pair of jeans. It was obvious that the ordeal she experienced was behind her now, as she looked relaxed. By mutual, unspoken consent they spoke very little, but kept a companionable silence as she busied herself in the kitchen getting their lunch ready. She refused his offer to help, reminding him that he probably had an awful lot of catching up to do, so he kept himself occupied, now that he had his smartphone. There were a lot of work-related things he could do with it. He started by preparing a document that he’d intended to send to his assistant when he was done. It would have been better if he had his laptop, but it was better than having nothing at all.
In less than an hour, Brielle whipped up a light lunch of lemon seafood salad and scalloped potatoes. They sat at the table and said their grace.
“This is the worst storm I’ve experienced in a long time.” Toby stuck his fork into his serving of scalloped potatoes and then took a mouthful. “ Mmmm…this is good.”
Brielle acknowledged the compliment with a sweet smile that tugged at his heart. “Remember the time when we went on a ski trip and got stuck in the hotel because of the blizzard?”
“Yeah.” He smiled as the memory flashed through his mind. “The way the windows rattled, I was sure they’d break.”
“We watched old movies and played cards to pass the time.”
They had done more than that: cuddles under the blankets, wild sex, hot showers, and hours of lying spooned against each other. Even though their best-laid plans went haywire since they couldn’t ski at all, it was one of the best weekends of their married life. He’d enjoyed every single moment.
“Yeah.” His gaze met hers, and he could tell that she was thinking along the same lines. He didn’t want to be engulfed by those memories, but lately, his mind kept replaying the time he’d been with her. Everything was changed now. And yet, his heart wanted her just as much as before.
“Umm…” she bounded out of the chair and hustled towards the television, swiped the TV remote control from off the table and switched it on. “Maybe, there’s something Christmasy going on television.” She began flipping through the channels.
Toby knew it was her way to change the subject, to ease the sexual tension that engulfed them and made the room seem a little too small for comfort. “Ah, it’s Beethoven,” he said, when Brielle flipped to channel 48.
“Oh yes it is.” Brielle’s eyes shone as she ambled towards her chair and then took her seat. “It sucks that only the first two films made it to the big screen.”
Toby chuckled. “That reminds me of our old neighbor, Mrs. Davidson. The one who used to own about twenty dogs.”
Brielle reached over to him and punched him playfully on his shoulder. “You’re exaggerating. She didn’t have that many.”
Toby raised his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, you’re right. She probably had nineteen.”
Brielle giggled, which was like music to his ears.
“She was convinced that someone would steal her dogs. What happened to her?”
“I ran into her the other day at an event. Hasn’t aged a bit. Told me she’d hired a sitter for her dogs while she came to attend the function.”
He laughed. “She was a strange one.”
“But nice, too. One time you got sick and I was beside myself with worry, she actually came over to keep me company for a while.”
“True.” He nodded. “She’s one of those kindhearted women who’ll never turn away from someone who’s in need.”
They talked about old neighbors and friends and their relatives. His parents had died at a young age, but he got along well with hers. Even though he didn’t have contact with her family, he was interested to know what they were all up to. Time flew as they conversed. As the weather forecast predicted, the storm began to abate and by evening, it had all but died.
“The roads will be clear by morning,” she said in a quiet voice.
He nodded. “I know. I told my driver to come as soon as the road clears.”
He thought she was about to say something, but then she stood and began to clear the table. He helped her, but neither of them said anything else. He had to admit that lunch was a smooth affair. By unspoken mutual consent, both of them didn’t mention the kiss.
“Let me check the TV guide and see what show’s on next,” Brielle announced after they’d packed the dishes into the dishwasher. She picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels. “We might be lucky if they show…if…” Brielle’s voice trailed off, as she stared at the screen.
“Brielle?”
She shook her head as if to snap out of whatever fugue had her dumbfounded. But Toby was concerned. He scanned the TV screen that displayed the TV guide to see what had her this way, even as he pushed his chair back to go to her, to comfort her.
And then he saw what was going to show next…
One of their Christmas traditions, ever since the time they were dating, was to watch movies set around Christmas. As an unspoken rule they watched films they both enjoyed, although each of them had their personal favorites: for Toby it was Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, and Die Hard 2. For Brielle it was the Sound of Music, The Holiday, and This Christmas. But the one that was going to show was her ultimate favorite: While You Were Sleeping.
The last movie they’d watched together as husband and wife.
The last time he could say he was truly happy.
The day before she’d betrayed him with…
Their gazes clashed. And he saw hers heavy-laden with pain and regret.
Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. He took a step towards her, to hold her, but she raised her hands in a defensive gesture as if to ward him off. When he paused, she took the opportunity to hustle out of the dining room.
Chapter Seven
I still love him.
How could she love a man who broke her heart?
How could she still want him?
And what was she supposed to do about these irrational feelings that sizzled inside her?
Sometime during the night, the storm quelled. The sun dawned on a silent, white earth. The time had come for them to say good-bye. Maybe she needed to add an apology, beg his forgiveness, but Brielle couldn’t bring herself to approach him, to tell him how she felt. She’d spent the morning cloistered in her room. Unreasonable as her actions were, she’d expected something more than what she received during his stay. Although she brought him here against his will because she wanted answers, being with him reminded her of the crazy, stupid love she harbored for him.
Her love for him was a flickering flame that only
needed a little fuel to make it blaze brightly, like never before. But how was that possible after an absence of four years and being here in the cabin for just three days? It wasn’t just physical attraction, although that was also a reality that she had to deal with, but rather it was a warm, tingling feeling in her heart whenever she glanced at him. The man didn’t change much. He was the same man for whom she put aside all her dreams so that she could be with him. And even though she did make a different life for herself after his departure, it appeared that she still harbored strong feelings.
Love. Such a strange emotion but so much power in it. And yet, it failed them both when they were married. Sure they married when they were fresh out of college, and by the time they were twenty-five they were divorced for a reason she still wasn’t sure about. But even now, after his abandonment, after all those years of loneliness, she still felt the same way. She loved Toby, as much as she did before.
The realization tore apart whatever little control she’d maintained in the past few days. It was an unfair world. If only things were different. If only he didn’t leave her, divorce her. But he did divorce her, so the bottom line was there was no point holding on to something that was no longer a part of her future.
She heard a pickup slide to a stop outside the cabin.
“Brielle.” he called. “I’m leaving.”
She wanted to run outside and stop him. All she wanted was another chance, but if nothing else, she had her pride. She wasn’t going to fall into his arms when he offered her nothing in exchange. If this was the end, she would accept it as she did when he left her before. He knocked on her door, but she refused to answer. Once more, he knocked but she didn’t get up from her bed. No. It was better not to see him again. If she did so, she might be tempted to tell him that she loved him. Her ego wouldn’t take the hit of another rejection.
Tears escaped her eyes. Brielle wiped a hand across her cheeks to stop their flow. Why the hell should she be upset by what had transpired? The man got what he deserved. So what if she didn’t get the answers she wanted; she did manage to interrupt his life for a few days. It would have to be enough. But somehow her heart was not satisfied with logical thought. Had she been crazy enough to expect something else during these days?