A Sea Change

by Annette Reynolds

  “Don’t.”

  He reached to turn off the lamp. As he began to pull off his t-shirt, Maddy stopped him and got to her knees.

  “Let me,” she said.

  He felt her fingers searching for the hem and his stomach tightened. She moved slowly, exploring him. The shirt dropped to the floor.

  “Stand,” she whispered.

  She undid the button on his shorts. The sound of the zipper going down became the most erotic thing he’d ever heard. The shorts fell easily from his hips. He stepped out of them, brought himself closer to her.

  Her hands slipped into the waistband of his briefs. Her smooth palms followed the muscled planes of his haunches, taking the cotton fabric with them.

  His cock felt heavy, huge. He grasped her upper arms to pull her closer but she resisted. He didn’t know why until he felt her lips surround him, her warm, wet mouth begin to suck. Nick wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do this, but the words wouldn’t form. He groaned, taking her head in his hands, while Maddy’s fingers circled his thighs.

  She left him for just a moment, to murmur, “Oh, you taste good,” and he gasped her name, knowing he had to stop her or it would be too late.

  “Maddy, bring your mouth up here.”

  “You didn’t like that?” she asked against his lips.

  A short laugh escaped him. “Oh, baby…I liked that plenty.”

  “Then what?”

  She pressed against him so insistently he could feel the quickening again.

  “Stop, Maddy,” he whispered.

  “But I don’t want to stop.”

  His hands went to her hips. “Maddy, be still, or I won’t be able to stop.”

  The room grew quiet, the rhythmic lapping of the water under the house the only sound. Without another word Maddy leaned back into the pillows and he followed. She opened herself to him, guiding him inside, and they moved together to the water’s fluid heartbeat.

  Her sighs were a new form of music. He wanted to hear more. “Maddy.” She opened her eyes. “Help me help you.” She slowly shook her head. “What do you want me to do?” he asked.

  She pulled him in deeper. Brought her head up to kiss him. Said, “I want you to come.”

  He went still. “What about you?”

  “I just told you what I want,” she whispered. “Will you do it for me?”

  Nick didn’t answer. Without leaving her, he raised himself to his knees and took her with him.

  She gasped with his every thrust and waited for the sounds she’d been wanting to hear since their first time together. When they started, Maddy closed her eyes to their beauty. And as he climaxed, his strangled, “Oh – jesus – Maddy,” brought a lump to her throat. She took his face in her hands, tasted every wet, salty inch of it before letting him go.

  He lay beside Maddy, cradling her in his arms. His body wanted to sleep, but he fought it because there was something he wanted to do even more.

  “I’m sorry for the way I acted today.”

  “S’okay, Nick. I understand.”

  He thought about the dream that had included Maddy, and said, “I have bad nightmares, Maddy. I have them a lot.”

  She almost stopped breathing as she listened to him talk about himself for the first time.

  “That’s what woke me tonight.”

  “What are they like?” she asked.

  “Sometimes they’re just stupid – frustrating. But the ones that make me wake up in a cold sweat…” He stopped, finding it hard to go on.

  “They can’t hurt you, Nick. They’re only dreams.”

  “In the bad ones, someone I care about needs my help and I can’t – y’know – save them.”

  Maddy turned to seek out his face in the predawn darkness. “Nick, I don’t know a whole lot about you, but what I’ve seen tells me so much. You’ll always do the very best you can to help the people you love.” She placed her lips on his chest. “But you can’t do it all. No one can. You’d get lost trying.” Maddy settled into his arms again. “Believe me, I know.”

  “Maddy, name three men you trust.”

  She was silent for a moment, then said, “I trust you, Nick.”

  He kissed her hair, knowing it was what she wanted to believe.

  They fell asleep minutes later, succumbing to the fatigues of the day, and night. Nick had forgotten his gift to Maddy. Maddy had forgotten to lock up the house. Neither would hear the front door open, and softly close.

  Through the haze of sleep, Maddy could hear Chloe attempting to open a kitchen cupboard. Each time she tried to pry it open with her paw it closed with a dull thud and the house would grow quiet. Then she’d start again. Maddy’s eyes opened for just a second, and when she saw it was still dark, she shut them. Too early for breakfast, Chloe.

  The weight of Nick’s body next to hers was an unfamiliar feeling, yet she didn’t mind it the way she might have with someone else. Nick felt right lying there. And Maddy somehow knew it wouldn’t matter to him whether she sat up to read, or tossed from side to side, or got up to shower before he did.

  She could remember uncomfortable mornings with Ted – a light sleeper – when she’d lay still as a stone, always afraid to wake him with her movements. Because waking him – depending on his mood – meant either Ted’s perfunctory version of lovemaking, or an admonition. But Nick slept soundly. Maddy couldn’t imagine Nick cross about anything in the morning.

  She drifted off again only to be nudged awake by Chloe’s “feed-me” voice. It was far away, though. In the kitchen, probably. Which seemed odd to her sleepy subconscious. Why wasn’t Chloe here in bed, sitting in front of Maddy’s face, assailing her with that obnoxious kitty breath?

  Too pleasantly tired to get up, she smiled to herself when she heard the rustling of Chloe’s cat food bag. It was one of the few times Maddy didn’t care what she was getting into. This morning she could feed herself.

  Maddy hugged the pillow and let sleep overtake her.

  It wasn’t the morning light that brought Maddy to her senses. It was Nick’s sure touch as he pulled her to him. He buried his face in her hair. Her hips naturally nestled into his. His knees followed the bend in hers. She could feel him – hard – against her, and Maddy drew his hand between her legs.

  His fingers found what she wanted. They came away slick, spreading her juices to her breasts, and she moaned. And as he slowly entered her – as he moved past every ridge – Maddy groaned his name.

  This sensual, lazy coupling was a revelation to her. The scent of sleep, the sea, and last night’s sex – an aphrodisiac she could never have imagined. How many minutes had gone by? It could have been hours. He seemed content to make these languid movements and soft caresses last forever. She thought it was what she wanted. Forever.

  But out of nowhere, an urgency began to grow inside her. She was crawling to the edge of orgasm with a man inside her. Unheard of. This feeling was new, and it unsettled her to the point she heard herself murmuring the word “no,” trying to stop it. Nick’s voice – his breath against her neck – saying, “Come on, baby, let it go,” made her panic. And she was suddenly squirming away from him, gasping, “I can’t…I can’t.” It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  Nick withdrew, but wouldn’t let her go. Instead, he pulled her to him tightly and held her. Neither spoke. The quiet sounds of whispery breathing and slowed heartbeats surrounded them.

  “What was that?” Nick finally asked.

  Maddy raised her head. “I think it was the front door.”

  “Nice try,” he said. “You know that’s not what I meant.” She tried to move, but he didn’t release her. “Maddy, what just happened?”

  “I need to check the door, Nick.”

  “Forget the damned door.” He turned her to face him. “Talk to me, Maddy.”

  There was no way to avoid his eyes. “I can’t come,” she said. “Y’know, during…”

  “You were there. I could feel it.”

  “I just can’t
.”

  “Can’t? Or won’t?” he said. “You stopped yourself.”

  “I never did with Ted.” God, how she hated to bring up that name in this bed.

  “You haven’t told me the whole story, have you?” Maddy shook her head, and he mirrored her. “How bad was it?” he asked.

  “Worse than I ever imagined,” she answered. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”

  Almost to himself, Nick said, “That’s for sure.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead. “You didn’t trust him enough. You don’t trust me.”

  “Yes I do.” It sounded as if she were trying to convince herself.

  “No, you don’t.” She began to protest, and he said, “It’s okay, Maddy.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her. “It’s okay.”

  Such a sweet kiss, it made her heart ache. It made her forget Nick didn’t trust her, either. And it made her whisper, “Could we pick up where we left off?”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Nick stood in the shower, warm water cascading over his face and down his chest. It was going too fast again. There was too much happening all at once. His mind was alive with thoughts of Maddy, and how easily he’d let himself get involved. Her secrets seemed darker than his own.

  And then there was Mary, alone and in the hospital. She should’ve been his only concern last night. But as soon as Maddy touched him he’d forgotten everything else.

  There were the burglaries to think about, too. And the work he’d neglected the past week.

  Nick’s eyes opened as he remembered the reason for that neglect. Christ, he couldn’t think straight anymore. That darkroom – he’d put it together to help Maddy. And now it seemed like the worst possible time for it.

  Come on, McKay – think.

  He lathered his head with her shampoo. Its perfume returned him to their early-morning lovemaking, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t get the image to fade. When he’d come, his labored breaths took in huge lungs-full of the scent of her hair. The scent that now filled the shower, and made him hard.

  She makes you feel good. There’s nothing wrong with that.

  As he rinsed his hair and cut off the water, Mary Delfino’s strong voice came back to him from her hospital bed. “You’ll see me tomorrow, Nick. I promise.” He’d protested, thinking nothing could tear him from her side. But then she’d said, “Madeleine needs you more than I, right now. I want you to go.” Nick had reluctantly let go of her hand, and Mary saw his doubt. She lowered her voice so that he had to bend down to hear her. “Madeleine is a part of me. Remember that, Nick.”

  He had no idea what Mary meant by that, but he was used to her spookiness. Nick figured she was tired, no matter how tough she pretended to be, so he’d nodded and walked away from her and back to Maddy.

  A thought was trying to make its way to the front of his brain. Something else he’d forgotten about. Nick slowly draped the beach towel over the shower door, waiting for the concept to surface.

  When it did, he grabbed his watch, saw the time, and swore.

  Maddy stood in the kitchen, staring at a half-eaten tomato sandwich. She picked it up and took a bite. It brought a smile to her lips. Everything about it was correct, from the thickly-sliced beefsteak tomato, to the sprinkling of salt, to just the right amount of mayonnaise between two pieces of spongy, white bread. It was Danny’s sandwich made to perfection, and it astonished her that Nick had the same taste.

  She went back into the bedroom for her sandals, when Nick suddenly jerked open the bathroom door and ran past her. He was already dialing the phone when she caught up with him. His one-sided conversation didn’t tell her a thing.

  “Let me talk to Janet… Well, then give me her cell phone number… Since when do you think, Kingston? Just give it to me!”

  Nick snapped his fingers in Maddy’s general direction and she quickly handed him a pen. He hung up and she asked, “What’s going on?” She could feel the security of the morning beginning to erode.

  “I have Becky today,” he said, punching in another number.

  She wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about. “Becky?”

  “Yeah, Becky. You know. My daughter?” Nick turned his attention to the phone again.

  “How would I know that?” Maddy asked his back. “You never told me her name.” But Nick didn’t hear her. He was already talking to his ex-wife.

  “…I’ll be there, Janet. I’ll just be late… Janet, it isn’t gonna scar Becky for life if I’m fifteen minutes late…Not that it’s any of your business, but I had an emergency… Fine, Janet. The longer you keep me on the phone, the later I’ll be.”

  Maddy saw the tendons in his neck tighten as he continued listening. Oh, yeah. The morning’s gone to hell. She turned away and tried to find something else to focus on. She could fill Chloe’s water bowl. But when Maddy went around the kitchen island, she saw it was full, along with the food dish. She started to ask Nick about it, when he violently hung up the receiver and said, “I’ve gotta go.”

  He was already walking to the door, and she followed. “What about Mary?”

  “I’ll pick her up after I get Becky.”

  “What about me?” she asked. “I want to go, too.”

  Nick impatiently stood in the open doorway, and said, “There’s not enough room in the truck for you.”

  “Then we can take my car. I want to be there with Mary.”

  They drove to Federal Way, the halfway point between Seattle and Tacoma, in a silence that on a good day would be called uncomfortable. Maddy swung into the Denny’s parking lot, and Nick said, “Pull up next to the white Lexus.”

  As she put the Volvo in park, his hand was already on the door handle. Maddy finally said, “Look Nick, I know you’re stressed, but I wish you’d quit acting like I’ve done something wrong. This isn’t my fault.”

  “Can we talk about this later?” he said, climbing out.

  Maddy turned to look out the windshield, her jaw clenched, and Nick stopped. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the gearshift knob. And then he noticed Janet’s irate face peering at him.

  “Damn it, Maddy, you have no idea what I’m dealing with here.”

  Maddy felt, more than saw, Nick leave the car, and her anxiety grew.

  What you’re dealing with! The heat in the car became stifling. What you’re dealing with? I’m meeting your daughter for the first time.

  Nick came into view as he passed in front of the Volvo, and she distinctly heard Janet say, “Some emergency, Nick.”

  “Give me a break, Janet,” he replied. Then, in a completely different voice, said, “Hi, sweetie. Grab your bag and let’s hit the road.”

  Maddy took a cleansing breath and tried to relax enough to paste a smile on her face, but Janet’s twang reached her again, and Maddy realized the woman was standing a couple of feet behind the driver’s-side door.

  “If your friend’s spending the weekend, too, I’ll be calling Tom Donaldson. And I won’t wait until Monday.”

  The back door of the Volvo opened, and Nick said, “Hop in, Becky, and say hi to Maddy.”

  As soon as the door closed he lowered his voice and hissed, “Don’t threaten me with lawyers, Janet. At least I’m not a married man doing someone else’s wife.”

  Maddy’s anxiety level had risen to a fever pitch. She could intuit the exchange between Nick and Janet, while at the same time she tried to greet Becky with some modicum of self-possession. It wasn’t working.

  And then Becky suddenly said, “You’re the camera lady!” and grinned widely.

  Despite the missing front tooth, the girl’s smile reminded Maddy so much of Nick, she grinned back and said, “And you’re the singing mermaid.”

  Maddy’s unease around “short people” – as she called children – returned as soon as the last word was out of her mouth, and she fervently wished Nick would finish his snipe-fest with his ex-wife and get back in the car.

  Desperate to make conversation with Becky, and to
shield her ears from Nick and Janet’s exchange, Maddy dipped into her limited vat of standard kid questions: “So, how old are you?” and “What grade are you in?” and “How do you like school?” Just as she’d hit the bottom of the barrel - and was about to pull out “Do you like to read?” Nick slid into the front seat and slammed the door.

  Rolling his head from side to side to relieve the knot in his neck Janet always managed to put there, Nick finally said, “Let’s get the hell out of Dodge,” and then turned to his daughter. “So, did you introduce yourself to Maddy?”

  “We already met,” Becky said. “We’ve actually chatted several times. On the beach, y’know.”

  Maddy smiled in spite of herself. Nick looked at her and said, “She’s eight going on thirty.”

  “Comes from being an only child,” Maddy said, accelerating down the freeway ramp. “They’re more comfortable around adults, so they pick up the language.”

  Amused, Nick said, “And you know all about that, being an only child yourself.”

  Becky’s voice piped up from the back, and Maddy thought she’d been spared further scrutiny, until she heard the question, “Are you my daddy’s girlfriend?” Maddy didn’t dare look at Nick, and certainly didn’t know how to answer.

  He made her sweat it out for a couple of seconds before saving her. “Maddy’s a girl, and she’s my friend,” he said. “So, I guess that makes her my girlfriend.”

  “Do you kiss her?”

  It was Maddy’s turn to be entertained, and she glanced at Nick. He appeared to be pondering the question, but didn’t seem at all perturbed by it, and she was disappointed. Then he leaned toward Maddy and took her chin in his hand. Before she had a chance to react, his lips met hers. He let her go with a grin, and said, “Does that answer your question, Becks?”

  Becky’s reply was a delighted giggle, then she asked, “Where’s your truck, Daddy? How come Maddy’s driving?”

  “It would’ve been too crowded.”