She looked at a loss for words. “What? I…” Whatever she was about to say died on her lips. Was she... Blushing?
"Oh my God." It hit me like a ton of bricks. "You like him!"
Her expression shifted into horror. “I can’t stand him! I’m pretty sure he feels the same way.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. For someone so smart, she had no idea. “Sure he does.”
“I’m not wearing this for him,” she suddenly declared.
Hmm… “You’re wearing that for him?”
“I’m not!” she cried out, outraged.
“I don’t understand.” Kate looked perplexed. “Why are you wearing that for him?”
“I said I’m not wearing them for him!” she snapped.
Her whole face was going red. She gathered all the clothes scattered on her bed in a bunch, grabbing the hangers. Haley was laughing as Sierra hurried back in without looking at us.
I’d seen Sierra mad before, but not like this. She looked like she was torn between crying and strangling us all. Whatever was happening between her and Luke was driving her out of her mind.
When she went downstairs, she'd donned a black coat. It managed to conceal the dress, but she didn't button it all the way up, and we’d seen what was inside. It was pretty hard to forget.
"You're still wearing the–"
She cut Kate off with a glare.
"Not. Another. Word," she punctuated each word on each attempt to get her shoes on.
* * *
Local pub, Serendipitous, was a popular hangout. I loved the atmosphere in the place. People were easy-going and friendly.
We met up with Eva there, she had to help with the restaurant first before coming over.
Not long after, the topic, to my horror, went back to Chase.
“But in all fairness,” Haley went on, “he gave you flowers. Who does that? And why would he do it if he didn’t feel so strongly?”
“Oh, I heard about that,” Kate said, rolling her eyes. “I also saw some pictures on Facebook. He has half the town sighing over him.”
“I bet he does,” I replied dryly. “Anyway, they don’t matter. I just need to get through this.”
Easier said than done.
"People can do sweet and crazy things, and don't mean them," Sierra said, playing devil’s advocate.
"I don't know… But I think everything happens for a reason."
Sierra grimaced. "You believe in having to experience heartbreak to get to the good parts in your life? That's kind of messed up."
"I believe in heartbreak teaching us a lesson. And I believe if it it's real, nothing could stop it from happening."
"Hmm… Do you ever wake up each day and wonder, what if I'd just said yes?"
"Sierra!" Eva admonished.
She grinned. "What? I'm sure you'd all like to know too."
Yep, no filter.
But that was okay. I didn't keep many secrets anymore, and I didn't see a reason to hide.
"Everyday," I replied. "But that's done. Some things we just can't ever take back." I let out a deep breath. "I was so stupid."
It dawned on Kate, what I was trying to say. “You slept with him.”
Sierra gave me a thumbs up. “That’s great. Got each other out of your sy– ow.”
Eva nudged her with an elbow, giving her a look.
Sierra pressed her lips closed, with an exaggerated effort to be silent.
“It’s not great. Well, it was, but it was a bad idea. Look at us now,” I babbled.
“You’re in love with him still,” Haley said gently.
I tried to tell her she was wrong, that there was no way I could still feel the same after everything, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“When I see him, I’m so gonna kick his ass,” Sierra declared, looking pissed. “Now that I think about it, he's not avoiding me, is he? I haven’t seen him around. Probably doesn’t want to endanger his balls.”
Kate spat her drink, and I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that escaped from me.
* * *
As the evening progressed, it was becoming more apparent that something was up with Eva. She was oddly quiet. There was something going on with her, but when I asked her if she was all right, she assured me that she was fine.
There were times that someone would ask her something, and she would go still, looking a little lost, as if she didn’t quite follow the conversation. She tried too hard not to draw attention to herself that it was creating the opposite effect.
I let it go for now, but even Sierra gave me a shrug when Eva wasn’t looking.
When the music started playing, people became a lot more engaged, swaying to the music, and generally creating a livelier atmosphere.
“One year ago today, I met the most amazing person in my life. Prior to that, I had the shittiest breakup in the history of break-ups, but that’s another story.” Her laugh was sweet, and filled with so much joy, it was infectious. “I really believe everything that happened, led us here.”
Then she opened her mouth.
Her voice was pure gold, it was rich and smooth, but her emotional delivery stirred something in me, that by the time she finished, I found myself unable to stop crying.
She sang of not being capable of being loved. Of being stuck, of the transience of their relationship.
“Good night everyone,” she said with a dimpled smile. For being in a content and satisfying new relationship, the heart-break in her voice was raw and compelling.
“Free fortune cookies from Camelot’s Cupcakes and Cookies!” a woman called out, who I recognized worked at the counter once. “New coffee flavor.”
“Ohhh,” I gasped in delight. “Coffee and free!” Two of my favorite words. When she reached our table, I accepted one gratefully. “I love these things.”
Maybe it was pitiful, but we were like children when it came to these things. Eva looked the same, her eyes shone with excitement.
“Let’s crack them open all the same time,” Kate suggested. “Just for the heck of it.”
After finishing a countdown of three, we pulled the paper out, and then the table turned silent.
“‘Fortune favors the brave’,” I snorted, tossing my paper on the table. “Boring. What’s yours?” I asked Kate, nudging her shoulder. She sat in shock, gaping at the piece of paper, and to my surprise, she crumpled hers without a word.
I stared, confused. “Oh my God. Why? What did the poor tree ever do to you?”
When I turned to Haley, she ripped hers in half, and before I could protest further, in quarters.
“Guys, what the hell? That’s not fair, I shared mine.”
“They say if you rip your stupid little fortune, maybe it will never happen.” Her mouth was in a grim line. What the heck was up with them?
Kate looked visibly upset. What the hell?
“Eva?” I asked her, wary. She was quiet, but she was blushing profusely.
Okay. Something was going on, and they weren’t telling me.
“Can I see?” I asked carefully. “Or is yours cursed too?”
Her eyes widened, and she brought the piece of paper to her chest. “I– You don’t need to see. It’s fine.”
Sierra looked furious. She crumpled the piece of paper and crushed it with the base of her nearly-empty glass.
I frowned, and sat back. Eva was rarely flustered, she seemed to always be so self-assured. Sierra wasn’t either. “Why are you guys acting weird?”
Eva looked around, as if searching for eavesdroppers, then leaned forward giving us a sign to do the same. “You open a fortune cookie, you expect some generic statement, or maybe some really good advice, right?”
I nodded, urging her to continue.
She put her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on both hands, her brows knit in concern. “This was… I don’t know what the heck it was. It was scary accurate.” She shivered from the memory.
“It was the same for you too?” Kate blurted ou
t. They shared a look, eyes wide.
That was bizarre. “Wait, why do I get the generic statement?”
“But,” Haley explained, “It still applies! You need to be strong.”
“It could apply to everyone,” I replied, unconvinced.
I could tell it bothered them a lot, and it made me really curious.
When I asked them again later, they refused to reveal what the writing was.
* * *
I bumped Kate’s shoulder gently.
“How’re you feeling? Men can just be really slow on the uptake sometimes.”
“In short, men are assholes.” The resignation in her voice made my heart reach out to her.
"Amen," Sierra agreed. "The moment you find one that isn't, let me know. I want to try cloning one.”
I stifled a laugh. “You’re crazy.”
“Honey, you already knew that.”
It was strange. Even after the events of the past week, I felt oddly light. Like the burden of something heavy had been lifted.
“To friendship,” I announced.
“And to singledom,” Sierra said brightly.
We knocked our glasses in cheers.
"Just like old times," Kate said with a dimpled smile.
I couldn’t help but return it. “Just like old times."
* * *
As the night progressed we discovered with no small interest that Luke was there. He sat in a far corner, eating some fries.
He looked up, his eyes zeroing in on Sierra, and flashed her a a wicked grin that would’ve left it’s previous targets smitten. All that was missing was for him to crook his finger.
Sierra gritted her teeth. “He’s not supposed to be here. Do you see his face? He’s asking for me to wipe off that stupid, smug smile and replace it with my fist.”
We all stared. It was devastating when a dimple creased his cheek from a simple smile.
Wow.
Then we turned to Sierra. I already knew she was crazy, but why she was avoiding him was the big question.
“Why do you hate him?” Haley asked curiously. “He seems like a nice guy. A little bit smug, sure, but overall, he doesn’t seem too bad. Plus, he doesn't look half bad.”
Sierra grimaced. “I don’t hate him. Hate implies I care. I don’t. Subject change.” She turned to me. “Sherr, I heard you’re moving soon.”
Okay then. Luke wasn’t up for discussion.
“Yep. Next week,” I answered, beaming.
I was a little excited and scared. Definitely scared.
But thrilled.
This was something new and different, but I wasn’t going to do this alone anymore.
Still, I couldn’t help but wonder in the back of my mind, if Chase had found out about it yet.
Not long later, I could hear two people arguing, one close to screeching. One of their voices sounded familiar.
Shit.
Sierra was no longer in her seat, but pulling the hair of a petite woman, with eyes the same as Luke’s, who was crying, asking for her to stop. They seemed to have gathered enough attention.
Luke wasn’t around anywhere. He’d probably left.
We had to pull Sierra away, but she was like a wildcat.
“Take that back!” Sierra cried out.
“Sierra, stop,” Haley pleaded.
We were pulling her back on both sides. Then without warning, Sierra head-butted the woman, and then let go. They both stumbled backwards. And since we were right behind her, we all fell along with her.
Oh my God.
“Ow. Could we at least have gotten some warning?” I groaned, attempting to get up, and falling right back down.
I was going to kill her. This was downright mortifying. People looked shocked.
“Out!” Tory, Serendipitous' owner, roared. He was a huge guy with a buzz cut in his forties, and I’d seen him mad before, but I’d never been on the receiving end of his fury.
Great. The evening was proving to be an interesting experience.
Sierra unapologetically got up and brushed the dirt from her jeans, not even sparing the woman a glance.
As we left, I couldn’t help but glance back, and it didn’t escape my notice that there were no tears in the woman’s eyes.
* * *
“I can’t believe we got kicked out,” I grumbled. “Who was that woman, anyway? And what did she say?”
“Her name is Clarisse Diaz, and she hates me,” Sierra declared.
She was fuming. I’ve never seen her like this.
“I got that,” I said, careful to not piss her off further. “What did she say?”
She was quiet for a while. “She confessed… She confessed that she took something from me.”
Bemused, Haley said, “Then get it back?”
“I can’t. She won’t give it back. Bitch.”
“What did she take from you?” I asked, unable to tamp down my curiosity.
Somber in a way that was uncharacteristically her, she said softly, “Something irreplaceable.”
Chapter Sixteen
Night visit
The call came out of the blue.
I had just gotten home, let my hair down, and put on my jammies.
I was in the middle of doing the character sheet for a secondary character on the next book when 'Happy' starting playing, and I jumped back in surprise.
You know that moment when there is complete silence, and a noise just pops out like it wanted to give you a heart attack? It was like that.
It turned out it was a two-punch, because when I answered, the familiar voice of the caller shocked the hell out of me.
"Sherry? This is Patrick."
It almost felt like it had been a lifetime ago since I last heard his voice.
He sounded uncomfortable. Considering the last time we spoke, he insulted me about the reason I came back, and told me in not so many words that I was cold-hearted, it was no surprise. It didn’t exactly endear me to him either.
“Hey Mr. Davis,” I said warily.
He sighed. “He doesn’t know I’m calling. I’m sorry about… You know what. It was difficult for him when you left. Then you come back. You’ve got to understand, I had no idea you were going to stay.
“Sherr, you know my son. You wouldn't have put up with him for years and not know this– it changed him.”
"You don't need to tell me this." I couldn’t keep the sadness out of my voice, but I was trying not to let the tears win.
“You can only hurt someone if they gave you the power to do it to them. You must know that he loves you.”
“Mr Davis,” I stopped him. “I appreciate it. I really do. But I need this to come from him.”
“I shouldn’t have said that stuff the other night. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. All those things that happened, it’s between me and him,” I said gently.
“I knew Gem, and you when you were little. She loved you. But I couldn’t see beyond the anger.”
“Mr. Davis–”
“I just had to tell you. He’s suffering, and he’s too damn stubborn that he wouldn’t say it. So, I’m saying it for him.”
He wasn’t going to let this go. He cared about Chase;, I could at least acknowledge it.
"Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”
* * *
Two things occurred to me that night.
The first was that even saying what he did, I found that he still had a hold over me that I suspect I would never break free from.
And the second was that I realized when I fell deeper for him, in a way, he had taught me how to value myself. If anything, he’d taught me that.
When he looked at me with challenge in his eyes, it forced me to reconsider what I believed about myself.
What he felt, he didn’t hesitate to hide. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I missed him.
* * *
I was getting a headache.
The problem was, I was getting a heartache too. The combinati
on was deadly.
I thought this as I drove back to Chicago, to bring a few more things and finally get settled.
Winter was coming, and I wanted to feel a little more settled in. It was one thing to live there, and a whole different one to make it feel like it was mine.
I had the urge to create roots.
I'd like to believe that just that one incident hadn't made me waver in my decision to stay. I was only human; I wish I could've taken my decision back. But I made a choice, and in the grand scheme of things, nothing had really changed between us. Nothing had been resolved. We'd only managed to dig up the past, and managed to hurt ourselves more in the process.
My choice to stay wasn't conditional; it didn't hinge on the status of our relationship. It was a combination of many things; my love for my grandma, the companionship of my friends, the comfort and familiarity it provided, and the regret that I'd left all those for the temporary illusion of peace. That place was, and continued to be, home for me.
I believed I could find home wherever I set it up, and perhaps it was true, but I never found it here because if I was being honest to myself, my heart never really let it go.
I decided to go back to Chicago today to pick up some of my things that I wanted to bring with me, but it was also the perfect opportunity to escape, if only for a little bit.
* * *
It was so odd how everything looked the same, and yet in going through what I have the past week, my perspective completely shifted. My own little apartment was my former blanket of comfort, a place I found peace in, and looking at it now I recognized it for what it was– a place to heal and hide.
After returning the keys, I stuffed everything in boxes and loaded them in the car. I nearly left, but I noticed it; two handprints on the window, as if someone had pressed their hands firmly on it. They were clearly fresh, because it was clear.
It was a little chilly this morning, the windows fogging up. I wanted to look back, to see the last of my place, and instead the last thing I saw was a little disturbing. I looked around, but there was no one around. The street was relatively quiet, but that was normal at this time in the morning.
Truce or Dare (Sweet Fortuity Book 1) Page 11