“Perfect! Your friend Jared is going to be dazzled,” Lucie said.
“Thanks, Mom. Ayanna, are you sure about me taking your car? I can take a cab,” Emily offered again.
“Girl, please. Don’t even worry about it. It has GPS, so you can’t get lost. Have a good time and bring us some dessert.” Ayanna grinned.
“Of course I will,” Emily said. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Take your time, sweetie. If you do get lost, you can call Todd. That restaurant isn’t too far from where he lives. And his hospital is near there, too,” Lucie said innocently.
Emily folded the shawl in half and made a chic loop around her neck the way Sherri had showed her. “I’m sure I won’t get lost, Mom. And if I do, I’ll call Jared,” she drawled. She took the car keys from Ayanna and laughed at the expression on Lucie’s face as she left the house.
Ayanna poked her mother in the arm. “Mama, I told you to lay off the Todd thing. She’s a little salty with him right now.”
“I know, but I’ve got to look out for the poor man. I really think he’s crazy about her. It’s not his fault that he’s a little emotionally, um, slow.” They looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Todd wasn’t a happy man. He was still smarting over his idiocy from the night before, and he hadn’t decided how to achieve a return to Emily’s good graces. Plus, he was horny as hell. Any normal man would be in the same condition if he’d had to suffer through the sizzling dreams Todd had endured all night. From a scientific viewpoint he knew that the most vivid parts of his dreams had lasted only a few minutes, but those minutes were imprinted on his brain and wreaking havoc with his body. He’d had the cold shower, he’d worked out his aggressions on the treadmill and other exercise equipment, and it hadn’t done a bit of good. He wasn’t feeling any better about his situation.
Deciding that food might help, he went to the kitchen area of his loft. The place had been pretty generic when he bought it, but his sister-in-law, Billie, had hooked it up for him. She’d been a high-fashion model, but she’d traded the runway for a contractor’s license, and her skills were exceptional. He opened his fancy rubbed-bronze refrigerator and stared at the contents. He decided to make an omelet, despite the fact that he hadn’t made one since he left Hilton Head. Cooking for Emily had been very enjoyable, before he screwed everything up.
It wasn’t as if he’d done it deliberately; he’d used an extremely poor choice of words to tell Emily that he shouldn’t have rushed into making love with her. What he was trying to convey was that he wanted them to have a real relationship, one that wasn’t fueled purely by sex, even though the sex they’d shared was hot, wild and satisfying. He’d been trying to say that he was falling in love with her and that she deserved all of him. He wanted to share more than his body with her; he wanted to share everything, getting to know her the way a man knows the woman he wants to be with forever.
“But that’s not what I said,” he said aloud. “What I said was ‘this is a mistake.’ No, a huge mistake, that’s what I said. Good move, Wainwright—real smooth.” Talking to himself was a habit he’d developed in med school, a habit he indulged in only when he was frustrated and stressed out. Being a trauma physician in the biggest E.R. in Chicago was more than enough stress on a daily basis; adding Emily to the mix was a little too much.
“I’m supposed to be better than that, yet I manage to put my foot in it so tough that Emily will probably hate me forever. She was already mad at me, and when I finally see her face-to-face I piss her off all over again,” he said angrily as he beat the eggs so hard they almost cried out for mercy.
“Okay, so I was surprised when I saw her because she looked different. But did I have to ask her what the hell she did to herself? That was just stupid.”
Emily had looked like a different woman, so much so that he hadn’t recognized her at the airport. It was a shock, but it wasn’t a bad one; quite the opposite, actually. He’d had an immediate physical response to her new appearance, which made him defensive, especially when he remembered seeing her at O’Hare with a strange man drooling all over her. The image of her smiling up at that jackass, whoever he was, flashed into Todd’s head and made him add a few choice words of profanity to his monologue. The sound of his doorbell distracted him; who the hell was dropping in on him out of the blue?
He went to the door in his jeans and bare feet. He hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt, and whoever the hell it was would have to take him as he was. He didn’t really appreciate uninvited visitors. When he looked through the peephole in the big door, his mood didn’t improve. It was Cecily, a pretty little airhead he’d stopped seeing months ago. He opened the door and gave her a less-than-pleasant look.
“How did you get in here without me buzzing you in? And why are you here anyway?” He was being rude and he knew it, but it probably went right over Cecily’s pretty little head. That was no reason to be deliberately nasty, however. Despite her silliness, Cecily was a good person and she didn’t deserve to be verbally abused.
“Hello, baby,” she cooed. “I’ve been thinking about you and I was in the neighborhood, so I buzzed your neighbor downstairs and he let me in,” she said, sounding rather proud of herself for being so clever. She slipped past him, stroking his pecs as she entered the loft.
“Why didn’t you buzz me if you wanted to come up? Why are you bothering the other people in this building?” he asked testily.
“Because you wouldn’t have let me in,” she replied. “I would’ve called but you have me blocked,” she added, taking off her busy faux fur coat. Cecily’s heavily made-up eyes blinked like a wind-up toy. Her look had changed; she’d gone from emulating Rihanna to being what appeared to be a Nicki Minaj clone, complete with weirdly colored contact lenses and a shiny black Cleopatra-style wig. At least it wasn’t pink, he thought.
“Cecily, if you knew I didn’t want to talk to you, don’t you think that means I didn’t want to see you, either?”
“Not really. I just thought you were busy,” she said coyly as she tossed her head in what she thought was a sexy gesture. It made Todd think she was going to give herself whiplash if she didn’t cut it out.
She had walked over to the counter that separated the kitchen area from the living room, moving in an exaggeratedly seductive manner so he couldn’t miss her new behind in her very short, very tight white sweater dress and white leather thigh-high boots. She’d either had implants or she was wearing booty pads. Cecily had a nice figure, but nice apparently wasn’t good enough for her. God, for her sake I hope those are pads.
He left the room long enough to put on a shirt before she got any ideas. When he came back he went back to the counter and dumped out the eggs and started cleaning up the mess he’d made. He’d lost his taste for an omelet. “Cecily, what do you want?”
She batted her expertly applied false lashes at him. “Well, how about a glass of wine?”
“It’s barely noon and you’re talking about alcohol? You can have some water,” he said tersely. “Now how about you stop playing games and tell me what you want. We stopped seeing each other once you met that NBA player, remember? What happened to all that love you were in?”
He felt a little guilty about bringing that up because he was making it sound as if he’d been affected by the breakup, which wasn’t even close to the truth. He was about to end things with her when she took up with a basketball player and told him they were through. It had been one of the best days of Todd’s dating life, but he saw no reason to throw it in her face. His appetite gone, he rinsed the bowl and utensils and put them in the dishwasher as he talked.
Cecily began playing with her perfectly manicured nails and avoided making direct eye contact with him. “It didn’t work out. He was just taking a break before he married his baby mama,” she said disdainfully. “He was treating me real nice at first, then he started acting like I was kind of a groupie, just because I’m a video model. I make good money doing what
I do and I’m not a whore, so I don’t know where he gets off treating me any ol’ way.”
Todd stifled a groan. This scenario was way high on his list of things to avoid at all costs: comforting a former lover when her new love affair went sour. He didn’t want to offer her a shoulder to cry on, and offering her commonsense advice was sure to backfire. He just wanted to get rid of her as quickly as possible. “Sorry it didn’t work out. Look, I need to get something to eat before I go to work, so I was just about to leave.”
“Oh. Okay,” she sighed. “I wouldn’t want to hold you up. Maybe we can get together later,” she said with a tiny glimmer of hope in her eyes.
Todd was already putting on his shoes and shoving his wallet in his jeans. He didn’t have it in him to offer up the universal lame line “I’ll call you,” because he had no intention of doing so. He’d already parted ways with her once, and there was no reason to give her any encouragement. Personally, he thought she needed to take some time off from dating and work on her self-esteem, but he was sure she wouldn’t listen to him if he suggested it. He retrieved her flashy faux fur coat from the sofa, where she’d dropped it, and held it out so she could put it on. “Cecily, I think you’d agree that we don’t have a lot in common. It wouldn’t be a good idea for us to try to have a relationship,” he said gently but firmly.
She slipped into the coat and turned to face him with a seductive smile that looked cheap and inappropriate. “I just want to have fun, baby. Who wants a relationship?”
“I do,” Todd said. He was just as surprised as she was to hear the words, but he wasn’t taking them back.
He looked at her closely as they went down in the elevator. Cecily had some good qualities, although she had some unfortunate gold-digging tendencies and a dicey choice of career. She couldn’t shake her plastic booty forever; what did she plan to do when her dancing days were over? He broke his own rule and said something like that to her, suggesting that she think about going to college and embarking on a real career. As he feared, her eyes filled with tears, and he didn’t have a tissue or handkerchief to offer her. She did have some tissues and she was blotting her eyes as they left the elevator.
“Look, Cecily, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m really concerned about you,” he said.
“I know you are and I really appreciate it. You’re the only person who’s tried to keep it real with me in a long time,” she confessed. “And you’re probably right. I need to try to do something other than dance around half-naked behind those little no-talent boys.” Her voice was low and composed, and she sounded so mature it shocked Todd. She looked up at him with a serious face and said, “I’ve been thinking about going back to Omaha for a while now. I started out to be a nurse, believe it or not. I want to finish my degree.”
Todd raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Good for you, Cecily. I’m glad you’re thinking about a plan for your life. I wish you the best,” he said sincerely.
They exited the building and she impulsively threw her arms around him and planted a big kiss right on his mouth. Todd could have done without the sticky synthetic goop on her mouth, but it was a nice moment and a good ending. If he’d known that he was being observed, he wouldn’t have thought so.
Chapter 13
Emily found her way to Jared’s restaurant with very little effort, thanks to his good directions and the GPS system in Ayanna’s car. She parked in the employee lot, as Jared had told her to, and as soon as she got out of the car, Jared was standing there to escort her inside. He smiled down at her and admitted that he’d been waiting for her.
“I had one of the busboys keeping an eye out for you.”
“Well, that was nice of you, Jared.” She tried not to stare at him, but she had to look him over. He really was as handsome as she remembered. Nice manners, too; he held the door open and took her coat, handing it to the hostess before he showed her their table. It was a far booth that was rather private, but it offered a nice view of the place so she could take it all in.
“This is my favorite table. I can see everything but it’s hard to see me. This way my team can’t find me,” he said with a laugh.
“Smart,” Emily said with a grin. “I like this place, Jared. It’s stylish but not pretentious.” The main dining room had high ceilings, hardwood floors, glass subway tiles on the walls and slate tabletops. The clever lighting gave it the intimacy and elegance of a well-established steak house, but it was totally contemporary in appearance. Lunch was delicious and Jared was very good company. They had a great conversation, and she’d left the place feeling as if she’d gained a new friend.
She was sure she’d remember the way back to Ayanna’s house without the GPS, but she got a little lost in the neighborhood around Van Buren’s. While she tried to get the GPS to cooperate, she made a wrong turn, and in doing so she wandered down Washington. She glanced up at a big building just long enough to see a woman doing what was obviously a walk of shame with a tall, handsome man. She might have believed it was just two friends walking down the street, but the two of them went into a passionate clutch right there on the sidewalk, and Emily immediately recognized the man as Todd. Nice. And this is what passed for a good man in Ayanna’s world? Emily clenched her teeth together so tightly that she was endangering years of expensive dental work, but she was too angry to notice. Good man, my ass; he’s a jerk. A whorish jerk at that.
Her face was hot with anger when she finally saw the right street, which made her sigh with relief. She was even madder than she’d been last night, even though she wasn’t ready to admit why she was so angry. She had no ties on Todd and he certainly didn’t have any on her, but that didn’t excuse his actions, as far as she was concerned. Instead of admiring her when he saw her new look, he’d gotten all self-righteous and preachy. Then he’d had the nerve to put his hands all over her as though she was easy. She had a little bit of trouble with that one, because she had participated in the lusty kiss and enjoyed it, too. But the irrational little voice in her head reminded her that he’d acted as if she was some borderline hoochie, when apparently hoochies were what he craved.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and she could feel her anger mounting, mixed with hurt feelings that she couldn’t understand. Maybe it was because she’d fantasized about their encounter a little bit too much. She’d been logical and grounded all of her adult life, never allowing herself to indulge in hot, sultry daydreams about hot, sexy men. Then she lost all control with Todd in those passion-filled days on Hilton Head, until he’d told her it was all a mistake. Emily’s eyes actually got teary when she remembered the pain that had cut through her at those words. She had put on a brave and stoic face, but if she was going to be honest with herself, she had to admit that he’d broken her heart.
When they were on Hilton Head, she had just come to the realization that she’d fallen in love with him. And what seemed like a minute later he told her that he didn’t want her. She had been his intellectual equal but she wasn’t hot enough for him, and she knew it. What pained her most were the stupid flowers and phone calls after he left. As if he was trying to soften the blow with some cheap consolation prizes or something, while trying to make himself feel better. She might have been inexperienced, but she didn’t fall for that crap.
She should have just buried herself in a new project at work; that would have gotten her out of her funk. But instead she’d poured her heart out to her BFFs and she’d let them persuade her that with a few little changes she’d look so good that any man would find her irresistible. It had worked with Jared; he’d found her very attractive. But Todd hadn’t. Not only could he resist her, he could even hook up with another woman the day after he saw her in her newfound glory. Emily muttered several curse words under her breath and pounded the steering wheel. Why couldn’t he have fallen madly in love with her at first sight, the way he was supposed to? She ripped her glove off with her teeth and used the back of her hand to dash away the tears that kept trying to fall.
She sure didn’t want her mother and her sister to see her all weak and weepy.
She wasn’t used to feeling either helpless or hopeless, yet he’d made her feel both ways. And she truly resented Todd for that. Or maybe she was mad at herself for allowing him to affect her so deeply. She turned on to the street where Ayanna lived and set her jaw firmly. She had too much sense to let that joker get the upper hand with her. The evil little voice in her head kept needling at her and finally planted a twisted idea in her brain. This was the ultimate revenge; before she left Chicago, she was going to fix him once and for all. There was nothing like payback to put a man like him in his place, and she knew just the way to do it.
She was going to seduce him, screw his brains out and dump him, all before she went back to her life in Columbia and lived happily ever after. It was an evil, devious way to get him but good, and she was going to enjoy every single second of it.
Emily wasn’t sure how soon she could get started on her plan to get back at Todd, but she was eager to get going. So when she found out that he’d be joining them for dinner, she was thrilled. Lucie had barely asked her how her lunch with Jared was before she announced that Billie had invited them over to dinner that night.
“That was nice of her,” Emily said as she hung up her coat in the hall closet. “What’s the occasion?”
“It’s just that they like to rotate the entertaining during the holidays,” Lucie said innocently. “That way no one’s overwhelmed with too much cooking. And her parents are visiting for the holidays, so they want to have everyone over.” She waited a moment before delivering the best part. “And Todd is off today, so he’ll be able to come, too. Won’t that be nice?”
Chemistry of Desire Page 9