Captivation

by Nicola Moriarty

  Chapter Eight

  When she woke it was early morning, the pale glow of dawn filtering in through her curtains. Juliette lay still at first, trying to remember what had happened, where she was, and why her head was pounding as though she was hung-over. It all came back to her in a rush. The absinthe. The candles. The fire. Danny. She sat up nervously and looked around the room. Had it really all happened? Had he really been there, speaking to her? Helping her? Saving her life?

  A moment later, her questions were answered. She felt fingers tracing the length of her arm and then Danny’s voice entered her mind, as though he was able to seamlessly join in on her own thoughts.

  It’s real Juliette, he said, I’m here with you. You brought me back.

  ‘Oh God,’ she said out loud. ‘Danny, I’ve been so lost, so confused. You don’t understand, I’ve missed you like crazy.

  ‘How?’ she asked, ‘How is this possible?’

  I was stuck. Caught between worlds. Tied down by our love. It’s taken me all this time to be able to make contact with you. To learn how to do it. But you’ve made me stronger. You’ve saved me.

  ‘How? How did I do that?’

  Your need for me last night was so great. It brought me to you, allowed me to communicate directly with you.

  ‘Can I … can I see you?’ Juliette whispered, her voice tentative but hopeful.

  I’m not sure, baby, I don’t think so – I’m not sure that it’s possible. But that’s okay, I’m here, I can touch you, we can talk, we can be together. Always. I might still drift a bit, at times, but I’ll keep coming back now.

  Juliette nodded, and then her head dropped and she began to cry.

  Please don’t cry, honey. What is it? What’s wrong?

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said through her tears. ‘I want to be able to truly bring you back. I want to touch you. I want to see you, hold you.’

  Hey, don’t be sorry. You’ve done everything for me – I might have been stuck there forever. You’ve grounded me, tied me to you. Look, I can hold you.

  And Juliette felt his touch surrounding her, as though his entire body was there, pressed against hers, holding her tight, hugging her close. Gently, Juliette lay back down on the bed, allowing Danny’s form to curl around her. They lay together like that for hours, just savouring the fact that they were together again.

  Eventually, when the room had brightened further with light from the day outside, Juliette sat up. She leaned forward and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight.

  ‘Danny?’ she began.

  I’m here.

  ‘What does this mean? As in – where do we go from here? How do we go on with our …’ she trailed off.

  With our lives?

  ‘I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just that this is all so strange.’

  Let’s just take it one day at a time. You still have a life, you have to keep living it. But now I’ll always be here – a part of your life, with you, waiting for you.

  ‘Can you leave the apartment with me?’

  No.

  ‘Oh.’

  Don’t worry about that. Come on, don’t you have baking to do? I can come to the kitchen with you.

  Juliette smiled. ‘You’ve been watching what I’ve been doing then? The deliveries?’

  I love it. Such a beautiful concept. So very you.

  ‘Okay, let’s do that.’ Juliette showered first, turning just the cold tap on and allowing the freezing water to beat down on her head and alleviate some of the fog of her hangover. Once she was dressed, she took a moment to prepare herself, before walking out of her bedroom, knowing that the sight of the burnt curtains was going to be difficult to take in.

  When she stepped through the doorway into the lounge room, the sight of that corner of the room was even more disturbing than she could have imagined. What if the entire building had caught on fire? Imagine if, because of her, other people had died.

  ‘I obviously need to check that smoke detector,’ she commented quietly, as she walked over to the burnt area and knelt down on the floor in front of it to survey the damage.

  ‘How am I going to get all this cleaned up?’ she asked.

  Leave it ‘til later, Danny suggested. Maybe you can get someone in to take care of it for you, but not right now. Let’s not have someone else in here interfering with our connection unless we have to.

  Despite the strangeness of their situation, Juliette was able to relax into her baking, enjoying the sensation that she wasn’t alone now, that she could chat as she mixed ingredients, that every now and then, she would feel Danny’s touch on her skin. She was mixing her last batch of dark chocolate brownies when she finally worked up the nerve to ask the one question that had been on her mind for the past hour as she’d been cooking.

  ‘Danny, will we be able to … can we make love?’

  There was silence for a moment while Juliette waited, her shoulders tense. And then she felt his arms around her.

  I can hold you, kiss you, touch you … I don’t see why not.

  Juliette felt a flutter deep within. All of a sudden, every movement she made felt loaded – her skin was tingling with anticipation. And when she felt Danny’s lips on her neck, his breath against her ear, she shuddered with desire.

  ‘Oh God, you don’t realise how much I want you right now,’ she whispered as she revelled in his touch.

  I beg to differ.

  ‘Should we try it out … now?’ Juliette asked, her voice filled with longing.

  No. Let’s wait until after you’ve finished baking and delivering your cakes. Once we get started …

  ‘Okay,’ said Juliette, trying hard to keep the disappointment out of her voice. ‘I guess I can wait until I get back. And that’s when we’ll make love, for the first time – this time.’

  For the rest of the day, Juliette felt giddy with anticipation. She felt like a girl on her first date – all of that delicious build-up of flirting with the guy that you knew was the one. All that excitement because you knew what you would be doing together later, and you just knew that it was going to be spectacular. All of the sexual tension and chemistry that fizzed in each move you made and every word that you spoke. And, of course, Danny was no help, enhancing the tension by running his fingers down her spine or whispering in her ear, telling her exactly what he had planned for them later.

  By the time Juliette had packed her basket and was at the front door, ready to make her delivery that night, she was practically weak at the knees thanks to all of the pent-up desire that was shooting through her body like fireworks, waiting for the opportunity to explode.

  Come back soon. And she felt Danny nuzzling her neck at the doorway.

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ she whispered, her voice giddy and giggly. ‘I’ll be back in record time.’

  She started to lose her grip on the basket handle, ready to just give in right there and then, perfectly happy to drop the basket by her feet and allow the pull of the bedroom to win out. But she felt Danny’s touch on her hand, tightening her fingers around the basket handle.

  No you don’t, you sexy little minx. Delivery first. Fuck later. You know it’s always better with a longer build-up.

  ‘How is six months not a long enough build-up?’

  Danny’s touch gently pushed her out the door and when she closed it behind her, Juliette almost collapsed in the hallway. She bit down hard on her lip – trying to quell all of that aching desire.

  Right, she thought firmly, delivery. Fast.

  Chapter Nine

  Juliette was practically skipping as she made her way back to the apartment. She had finished placing her treats haphazardly at the doorways of her neighbours. She had a close call when a couple arrived home, late and a little tipsy. She crept around the corner to wait while they let themselves into their apartment and heard them exclaim at the sight of her gift at their door. But then the door had slammed shut behind them, so she didn’t get to hear what they thought
of her apricot and coconut slice.

  She couldn’t believe she was about to have sex with her husband again – after all of this time, it was inconceivable that she had him back. And she wondered if tonight was going to be just like the first time again. After their first meeting on the beach, their relationship had very quickly become physical. That had been unusual for Juliette. In her past, she had always preferred to wait several weeks, sometimes months before she took things to the next level. In her entire life, she’d only slept with four different men – including her husband. But with Danny, she just couldn’t help herself. From the first time their fingers touched, when they both reached out for the wine bottle that had been placed on the table between them at dinner on their first date, she simply couldn’t wait to touch him again. It had been the most sexually charged date she had ever experienced. Looking back, she wasn’t even sure how they had made it all the way through dinner and back to Danny’s place before they started tearing off one another’s clothes.

  Now, as Juliette approached her front door, she hesitated when she saw something small and dark dart past her down the corridor. Looking closely, she realised it was a cat – a sleek, black cat. Why was this reminding her of something? Then she remembered the woman who had knocked on her door. Hadn’t she said her missing cat was black? Juliette stood still, conflicted. She desperately wanted to get back inside, to feel Danny’s touch on her skin once more. But then there was that woman, who had seemed so worried about her damned cat. Juliette was a kind person – she didn’t like the thought of not helping someone if she was in the position to.

  With a groan of frustration, her need to do the right thing took over and she dropped the basket by her feet before darting after the cat. Unfortunately, though, the cat did not want to be caught. Every time she got close, it would streak away from her. As she chased it down the corridor, she racked her brain, trying to remember the apartment number of the woman who’d lost the cat. Finally, the cat stopped and sat itself down directly in front of an apartment door. Looking up at the number, she smiled with relief: twenty K – that was it. This was the right apartment, the bloody cat had found its way back there on its own.

  Glaring at the cat, she stepped in close so she could knock on the door – hopefully she would be able to escape back down the hall and into her own apartment before the woman saw her. When she opened her door, all she’d see would be her cat, sitting there waiting for her – as though it had knocked all by itself. She suppressed a giggle at the mental image of a cat politely rapping on its own door to be let back in. Just after she knocked, however, before she was able to turn and race away out of sight, the cat suddenly let out a snarling hiss. She looked down just in time to see it swipe one paw at her ankle, scratching her so hard that it drew blood.

  Juliette jumped away – more from the surprise than the pain. Staring at the cat she was astonished to see that it was now just sitting back quite calmly, staring at her – almost challenging her to say something or to give it a reprimanding tap on the nose. Juliette did nothing, though – something about the way that cat was staring at her was making her more than a little uneasy. She turned and hurried down the hall, snatching up her basket on the way past. Just as she was unlocking her apartment door, she heard the door to twenty K open down the hall, and a pleased exclamation of delight from the woman within. Well, good, at least the cat was back with its owner now. Hopefully, she wouldn’t run into it in the hallways again. She wasn’t sure what had caused the cat to scratch her. Normally she got on perfectly well with animals. Never mind, thoughts of Danny were now pushing the cat far from her mind.

  Once safely inside, with the door firmly shut behind her, she tossed the basket to the side and kicked off her sandals.

  ‘Danny?’ she called out softly. ‘Honey, I’m back. I’m here.’ And she realised she was breathless with nerves and excitement.

  ‘Wow,’ she chatted as she walked down the hall to the kitchen, all the while preparing herself for Danny to suddenly materialise by her side – to begin stroking her arms, or to pull her into an embrace.

  ‘Is it just me or does it feel just like it’s the first time for you again too?’ She stopped still in the kitchen, grabbing a tissue from the box on the bench so that she could dab at the scratch on her ankle, as she waited for a response, waited for him to appear.

  Something was wrong, it began to dawn on her. She wasn’t getting any of the normal sensations. She couldn’t feel his presence, couldn’t detect his spirit, which had felt so strong when she’d left the apartment just fifteen minutes earlier.

  ‘Danny?’ she asked again, her voice starting to quaver. ‘Danny, please. Where are you?’ Her skin felt cold, her arms prickled with goose bumps. She began to rush from one room to the next, searching for him. He couldn’t be gone again – not when she had only just got him back. She tried to keep calm, to remember that he had told her he might still drift in and out. But why couldn’t she sense him at all?

  In the bedroom, as she was starting to become panicky, she realised that she could smell just the faintest hint of Danny’s aftershave. She stood still, not daring to move, and breathed it in deeply. Ever so slowly, the scent became stronger.

  ‘Danny,’ she whispered, a note of desperation in her hushed voice, ‘are you in here? Are you okay?’

  She squeezed her eyes shut tight and concentrated every fibre of her being on communicating with him. At least thirty seconds passed before she realised she could hear something – it was as though a voice was calling to her from far, far away. She curled her hands into tight fists, pushing her fingernails into the palms of her hands as she focused harder and harder on that far-off voice.

  Juliette?

  It was still so faint. And did he sound … frightened?

  ‘I’m here Danny, follow my voice, find your way back. I’m here.’

  I’m trying.

  Oh God, thought Juliette, he sounds so scared, as though he is in pain. What had happened in that short time that she had left him alone?

  ‘Come on, baby. You can do it. You can make it back to me.’ Keeping her eyes closed, she lifted her arms up and held her hands out in front of her, as though she could reach out and grab hold of him, pull him to her.

  Help me, Juliette, help me.

  His voice was growing stronger.

  ‘Take my hands,’ she called out desperately. ‘Take my hands, let me help you.’

  All at once, she felt fingers lace through her own. She closed her hands around them, held on tight and pulled. There was a rush of wind, building up, roaring in her ears, and then suddenly there was the full force of a body against hers and she was thrown backwards, falling onto the bed with Danny next to her.

  Thank God, came Danny’s voice into her ear. Thank God you came back.

  Juliette’s voice was shaky when she spoke. ‘What happened, Danny? Where did you go?’

  I don’t know. All I know is that from the moment you left the apartment, I started to feel weak. The longer you were gone, the weaker I became, until eventually, it was as though I was just spinning through blackness – as though I couldn’t exist without you here to ground me. It felt like I was coming apart at the seams … disintegrating. I think you caught me just in time.

  ‘Jesus, Danny – but I was only gone for fifteen minutes or so! What if I’d been any longer? I don’t even want to think about it. I don’t understand, I’ve left the apartment before and this didn’t happen to you … did it?’

  No. The only thing I can think is that it’s something to do with what happened between us last night. The fire, the alcohol, the danger you were in – it all called to me, and that somehow changed our connection. I had to come back for you, I couldn’t let you get hurt. But now it feels as though I rely on being near you. You needed me, now I need you. As if the pay-off for me being this strong is that I’m so much weaker when you’re gone.

  Juliette felt tears well up as she imagined how horrific it must have been for him. ‘I’
ll never leave you again,’ she sobbed, ‘I’ll stay inside this apartment forever.’

  Hey, don’t cry, this isn’t your fault, neither of us knew that was going to happen. We’ll sort it out, we’ll find a way to make it work.

  ‘Yes, we will, we will make this work,’ she said through her tears. ‘Kiss me Danny. I need you, now.’

  She felt him hesitate, but only for a moment, and then his lips gently pressed against hers, his tongue nudging against her lower lip until her mouth parted, and then their tongues joined and they began to kiss harder. She could taste the salty flavour of her tears and all of the emotions, of everything that had happened, were welling up inside and she cried harder as they continued to cling to one another.

  Undress for me.

  They didn’t need to stop kissing for Danny to deliver the words into Juliette’s mind and she nodded and reached down to unbutton her shorts and then tug them down over her knees, kicking them off when they reached her ankles. Then she lifted her singlet, pulling it off over her head.

  Everything.

  His voice was commanding and it sent a tingle through Juliette’s body. She obliged, reaching around to unhook her bra, and when she pulled the straps down off her shoulders and allowed her breasts to spring free from the cups, she felt him gasp with pleasure.

  Now your underwear, he instructed.

  She hooked her index finger into the elastic of her pants and slowly tugged them down, knowing as she did that in moments Danny was going to make her forget all about everything that had happened. Knowing that her tears were going to dry and that she was going to become lost in the throes of ecstasy, and she could hardly stand the wait.

  She lay down on her back and felt the pressure of a body on top of hers, and then all her senses were set on fire as Danny pressed his thighs between hers. In one swift movement, she felt his groin push against hers and simultaneously felt him bury his face in her neck, so that they both groaned with longing: Juliette out loud, while Danny’s groan penetrated her thoughts as she felt his hardness straining against her inner thigh.