A Penny’s Worth Of Affection: A Novel

by Oliver Queen

  The horse reached the hill top and Phillip pulled the steed to a halt and dismounted, absently rubbing the animal's neck as he waited for Henry to catch up. The view of London from here would have been breathtaking to the casual observer, but the duke paid no attention to the scenery, his thoughts entirely filled by a small green eyed woman.

  The silence was shattered by the sound of hoof beats and Phillip turned to watch Henry's mount come up the hill at a more sedate pace. "Are you trying to kill your horse?" the latter demanded as soon as he drew astride Phillip. He dismounted and yanked off his riding gloves, scowling at his friend. "You have been like a bear with a sore head all morning. What happened with Penny last night? She refused to speak to anyone and has shut herself in her bed chamber. What did you do?"

  Phillip turned away, rubbing at the rough stubble on his jaw. He had spent the entire night in restless thoughts, his mind replaying the scene in the carriage over and over again till he thought he would go mad with need. Even thinking about the little moans and cries she'd uttered when he'd touched her made him hard with desire. It had hit him then, that Penelope Inglewood had hidden passions and god knew he wanted to know just how much passion boiled beneath that calm exterior she always portrayed.

  Henry prodded him with a finger and Phillip shook himself back to reality to find Henry glaring at him in anger. "You bastard!" Henry hissed, balling up his fists in preparation to deliver a blow. "Why did she leave with you in the middle of the performance? Have you no thought to propriety for god's sake! I swear to god, if you have despoiled her..."

  "Her virtue is very much intact." Phillip cut in, his eyes narrowed at the challenge in his friend's stance. "I simply offered her a ride home because she was in pain."

  Henry swore and jabbed a fist in his friend's chest. "I have warned you time and time again, but you have refused to pay any heed. Penelope is not one of those women you choose to frolic with at your whims. She is an honorable woman and you will cease this foolishness at once. You have caused her enough grief, and I say this has to end."

  Phillip's nostrils flared at the words but he held his peace and chose instead to stare at the sprawling city below. Finally he raked a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. "What are you saying then?"

  "Either you offer for Penny- properly this time-, or you stay away from her. I believe Mr. Lachlan is more than willing to court her and hopefully, ask for her hand. With you in the picture, you ruin whatever chance she has of making a good match."

  At the mention of the doctor's name, Phillip felt an inexplicable wave of jealousy sweep over him even as an image of Penny in the Scotsman's arms filled his thoughts. His arms balled into fists at his sides and he growled low in his throat. That insipid man would serve her no purpose, not with that passionate nature of hers, marrying the doctor would end up making her miserable, not happy as Henry assumed. Though he was not so certain Penny would be equally happy if he offered marriage-again. He would only end up hurting her, the way his father had broken his wife's heart until Kate Farnsworth had faded away. He would not do that to Penny.

  "Fine then." He spoke with an air of finality, his mind made up. "I will keep my distance. You have my word." He nodded at Henry and gripped the reins of his horse, easily swinging into the saddle. "Give Miss Inglewood my regards."

  Henry watched the duke ride off until horse and rider disappeared downhill, his eyes troubled.

  A knock on the door roused Penny from her thoughts. She pushed back the covers and sat up, squinting in the dim light that filtered through the drawn curtains. "Come in" she called out, wincing as her head began it's monstrous throbbing once more, and fumbled for the bottle of laudanum on the nightstand.

  The door opened and Lady Hensley peeked in, her expression concerned when she saw how dim the room was. "Are you feeling better my dear?"

  Penny smiled wanly at her friend, grateful for the distraction even though her mind still reeled from last week's encounter with Phillip. Once more she silently questioned how she had allowed herself to let go of sanity...he had touched her...there..in her most secret spot and she had let him, had even panted and moaned like a wanton woman in the throes of passion, delighted in his expert touch. She cringed as wondered how many other women he had seduced, no doubt she was simply one more foolish maiden who had been drawn like a moth to flame. What a fool she had been to hope his words had been true, that those passionate words carried a hint of real affection and not pure, unadulterated lust.

  A week had passed in nervous anticipation of his visit. Each time the doorbell had rung or the butler had announced a visitor, her heart had at first leaped with hope, only to be dashed each time in disappointment. How little that night must have meant to him if he had not even bothered to call on her...if only to inquire about her ankle. Even more hurtful was the realization that she had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

  Penny shuddered and pushed the thought from her mind, and focused her attention back to Bridget. "I am much better, thank you. The laudanum was quite effective in relieving the headache."

  The older woman perched on the edge of her bed and studied the wan girl lying there, noting the varying expressions that crossed Penny's face, particularly the pain. Bridget smiled and gently took the girl's hands in her own, giving them a reassuring squeeze. She was quite certain Penny's ailment stemmed directly from a certain duke, and if her assumptions were correct, something must have happened to make the younger girl so ill at ease with her own conscience. Women like Penny did not pine away in bed unless they were in the throes of love.

  "You will be in all right soon then." Bridget said, "The body is quite marvelous at repairing itself. The heart however, is quite another matter." The countess smiled at the guilty flush that suffused Penny's cheeks as the meaning of her words sank in. "Sometimes it is best to give in and accept what may seem to be the wrong choice my dear, do not try to deny your heart what it needs, what it craves for to deny it will only bring misery."

  Penny felt her face heat up in mortification. Had Lady Hensley somehow guessed what had transpired between her and Phillip? Certainly there would be speculation, as her family wondered why she had left the theater with Phillip, and what had happened to them on the way home. She lowered her gaze to the royal blue quilt, pretending an interest in the interwoven patterns while she mauled over the countess's words. What did her heart need? She wondered, fingers kneading the material absently, she was well aware of what her traitorous body needed...but what did her heart desire?

  "Lord Farnsworth is a good man, and despite what he seems to be, I have known that boy since he was in short breeches and would rump about with my Henry. Such a sweet boy, so well-mannered and cheerful. Then his mother passed away...my dearest friend Kate...and his father was a cold, hard man. Hardly surprising when the lad turned out the way he did. But I strongly believe Phillip is not as cold as his father. He can learn to love with the right guidance."

  "I hardly think I..."

  "I have watched the both of you together you know." Bridget cut in. "You may deny it all you wish, but I know you care for him and he for you. You are just equally stubborn to admit it."

  Penny pondered the words, wondering if the countess was right. Yes, she loved Phillip a lot more than she allowed herself to believe, but dear lord in heaven, the man was impossible to love and he would make any woman miserable with that obnoxious manner just like he made her miserable. Besides, in his confession last night, he had merely said he wanted her, desired her body, wished to lie with her. He had not mentioned being in love with her in the least. To Phillip, she was most likely just another means of entertainment

  "Forgive me Bridget," She said with a tired sigh, "But Phillip is the last man on earth likely to fall in love. Much less with me."

  The countess shot her a knowing smile and rose. "Like I said, you are both stubborn." she bent to place a kiss on the top of Penny's head. "Now, there will be no more hiding away in this dreary room. I will have Mary up wi
th some hot water and to help you get dressed and we will spend a lovely afternoon at Madame Montrose getting the last of Lucy's trousseau and perhaps we will get you some new gowns. Nothing like a day of shopping to brighten one's spirits." She moved to pull open the heavy drapes, admitting sunlight in the dim room.

  Penny winced as the light seared her eyes, then sighed and pulled herself out of bed. The countess was right, it was no use hiding away in her room, she would go out, throw herself into the final preparations for Lucy's wedding in five days and forget about Lord Phillip Farnsworth.

  Penny watched the newlyweds twirl about the ballroom floor, with a wistful smile at the look of bliss clearly written on their faces. Her sister was finally a married woman, married to the man she was deeply in love with. The look of happiness on Lucy's face filled Penny with joy and she earnestly prayed the couple would always remain in love.

  Her eyes developed a mind of their own and strayed where she did not want. Phillip stood at the edge of the dancing space, deep in conversation with Miss Talbot, a pale willowy blonde who appeared to be hanging onto his every word, practically leaning into him, the low cut top of her exquisite gown revealing an impressive bosom that appeared at odds with the rest of her body. Penny's heart pricked painfully as she watched the lazy way Phillip flirted with the debutante who had been proclaimed the belle of the season.

  So Phillip had tired of her and moved onto the next conquest? He had barely acknowledged her earlier at the church, merely giving her a cool nod when their eyes met before dismissing her. The service had been an agony and now she was forced to endure the sight of the man she loved flirt with someone else. Penny forced her eyes away from the laughing duo and rose from the seat, plastering a reassuring smile on her face when the dowager countess shot her a worried look.

  Penny gathered the hem of her skirt to avoid the damp earth of the garden, thankfully deserted as the evening air was too cold to permit any outside walks. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she had a shawl to ease the biting cold, allowing her skirts to brush unheeded against the dirt. The solitude eased her heartache somewhat and she immersed herself in observing the frozen flowers, until a rustle drew her attention.

  "I wondered where you had got to." Alasdair smiled, as he came to stand beside her, shrugging out of his jacket to drape it over her shoulders.

  "Thank you." Penny said, grateful for the warmth of the jacket. "I needed to get some fresh air, it is quite stifling in there."

  "Indeed. Lovely wedding though." Alasdair studied the flowers intently for a moment, then sighed and turned to face her. "May I ask a somewhat personal question Miss Inglewood?"

  Penny nodded, giving him a curious look. "Of course. Please ask me anything."

  "Please know that if you do not wish to provide an answer, I understand completely."

  She laid a hand on his arm. "Please. Ask?"

  He hesitated for a moment as though debating whether to ask, then squared his shoulders in decision. "Forgive my forwardness but, I have been wondering about this..." He sighed and ran a hand through his red hair. "Lord Farnsworth, is he courting you or perhaps you are in love?"

  "Oh!" Penny said, at a loss for words. She could hardly fault him for asking given the strange circumstances surrounding her relationship with Phillip. She thought for a moment, mulling her answer over in her mind. Phillip was most certainly not courting her, but could she deny her feelings for him? She shut her eyes and instantly, an image of him flirting shamelessly with Laura Talbot swam before her. She opened her eyes with a small gasp and shook her head. "No, he is not courting me and I am not in love with him."

  A look of relief swept over Alasdair's face and he smiled brightly, reaching for her hand to place a kiss upon it. "I am most glad to hear that Miss Inglewood, very happy indeed."

  Penny managed a small smile, even though her heart ached. She was filled with guilt for denying her feelings for Phillip, but she had to accept the truth. Phillip would never love her, but with Alasdair she was certain to be comfortable and hopefully, love would come soon enough. "I am happy you find the answer pleasing." she whispered, head lowered to stare at the ground.

  "Then I will wait no further to press my suit." Alasdair took both her hands in his and looked deep into her eyes, his gray eyes anxious and eager. "I earnestly pledge you my heart and my home if you will do me the honor of becoming my wife."

  Penny gasped for breath, her face drained of color as she stared at her suitor. "Mr. Lachlan! Are you in earnest?"

  He grinned and went down on one knee, "Forgive my lack of romance, I was just relieved to know there was still a chance to have you. But will you have me still?"

  A tear slid escaped from her cheeks and she nodded, feeling happy for the first time in days. "I will."

  He rose and took her in his arms. Penny went willingly and prayed for help to love the man who would be her husband.

  Unseen by the couple, Phillip stood in the shadows and watched as they embraced, his face betraying something akin to pain before he turned and walked away swiftly.

  CHAPTER 29 FINALLY!

  The fire burning brightly in the study cast long shadows over the room, partially obscuring Penny's features from her father's scrutiny. "Are you certain this is what you want?" Sir Inglewood asked, furrowing his brows as he studied his daughter intently.

  She shifted in her seat in front of his desk and lowered her head bashfully to study her hands folded primly on her lap for a few moments before she nodded. "Yes papa. Alasdair is a good man and I believe I will be happy as his wife." she replied in a quiet voice, still engrossed in her hands. Then she looked up and smiled at her father. "It is what I want."

  Sir Inglewood leaned back against the high backed leather chair and regarded his daughter, deep in thought. He idly drummed his fingertips on the desk littered with books and knickknacks accumulated from his travels, the sound echoing loudly in the silence of the room. Not for the first time, he wished his wife were still alive, for she would have been able to correctly judge the play of emotions running across his eldest daughter's face. All he could do now was give his consent and hope to God Penny would find some happiness with this Scotsman just as his younger daughter had.

  Finally he sighed and leaned forward. "I have spoken at length with Mr. Lachlan, and I have no doubts as to his integrity and soundness. So if you are sure of your decision, I have no objections to the match. But I must say I am a bit put off by this nonsense about getting married in Scotland. An English wedding will do just fine and why the haste? A week is not enough time to contract a wedding."

  Penny chuckled. "We decided there is simply no need for a prolonged engagement. And I do not want a big wedding, after all I am already twenty-six. Besides, Lucy has had a big wedding and surely that is more than enough festivity? And I want to be married in Scotland Papa, that decision is mine."

  "Very well." Her father rose from his chair and sighed. "We will come down to Scotland in a week's time. I take you it you and your young man will be leaving much earlier?"

  "We will leave the day after tomorrow. Alasdair wishes to introduce me to his sister first so, tomorrow, we will pay a visit to Lady Kettering and then leave the day after."

  Sir Inglewood nodded. "Good good. Congratulations my dear."

  Penny heard the words and smiled once more, getting to her feet and coming round to place a fond kiss on her father's rough cheek. "Thank you papa. I will miss you greatly." Her eyes filled with tears and impulsively, she threw her arms around him. "I love you papa, and I promise we will come visit you often."

  Sir Inglewood's eyes watered and he guffawed to cover up his emotion. "Not too much I hope. You will be quite occupied with looking after your young man." He stroked her dark curls with affection and beamed at her. "Your mother would have longed to see this day, I remember how she would prattle on about seeing her daughter settled in her matrimonial home."

  "I know Papa," Penny said with a wistful smile as she pictured her mother i
n her mind. A cheerful woman with twinkling green eyes who showered her children with love and affection until tragedy had struck in the form of tuberculosis and taken her away from them. "I still miss her every single day. Excuse me Papa, I must see to dinner..."

  "Of course, go."

  Penny escaped to her room, shutting the door and sinking on the edge of the bed, her facade crumbled, shutting her eyes to stem the tears that threatened to fall. Uncertainty pushed at her heart, and she wondered not for the first time if she was doing the right thing in marrying a man she did not love. Her chest heaved with unutterable sobs and she pressed a hand to her mouth to stop the small cries of grief.

  "Please God, help me forget..." she whispered the prayer, the words offering comfort and she opened her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling a sense of calm. Finally she rose and crossed to the wash stand, pouring cold water on her face, her thoughts in turmoil. She would put Phillip out of her mind and completely focus her efforts on Alasdair, thank heaven she would be leaving England behind soon, at least she would have no fear of running into him in Scotland.

  "I never thought I'd say this Phillip, but you are an arse." Elise Farnsworth tapped her cane loudly against the hardwood floor of Phillip's study. "Henry just gave me the news. That lovely girl is engaged to someone else? How could you let her slip away from you?"

  Phillip winced at the sound of the cane hitting the floor, his head throbbing from the after effects of too much spirits consumed the night before in a vain effort to forget the scene he had witnessed in the garden three days ago. Phillip sighed and rubbed at the three day growth of beard on his chin, wishing his aunt would leave him in peace. He did not need reminding of what a fool he'd been in losing Penny, certainly not from his aunt calling him an arse. Phillip cast bloodshot eyes at the cold fireplace, as cold and empty as his heart and once more pain lanced through him as he recalled the memory of Penny in Mr. Lachlan's arms.