by L A Cotton
Anger ignited in his eyes, the muscle in his jaw pulsating. “I’m talking about Denise, dickhead. They were working things out until she came along.” He all but spat the word.
“Jase, come on, it was over.” Things had been rocky between his mom and dad long before Denise came onto the scene. “This thing with Hailee, it isn’t fair. She isn’t her mom. You can’t keep punishing—”
“You think I’m punishing her?” He barked, a wicked glint in his eyes. “I’m not punishing Hailee; I just don’t fucking like her. She thinks the sun shines out of her mom’s ass. She has no idea what a homewrecking bitch she really is. Do you know she chased him? She spent months sniffing around my dad when he and mom were trying to work things out. I’d catch her calling him, even caught them almost fucking once, and I heard Mom call him out on it.”
“Shit, man, I didn’t know…”
“No, you didn’t.” His expression was guarded.
“You never said anything?” But then it was no surprise. Jase was a closed book to everyone around him. Me included.
“What was I supposed to say? My dad, a local hero, a man everyone worshipped, was a cheating son of a bitch who cared more about getting his dick wet with some whore than fixing his marriage?”
“Does he know you know?”
“What do you think?” he snarled.
Mr. Ford didn’t know. If he did, there was no way Jase would have still been living under his roof because shit would have hit the fan long before now.
“You could have left with your mom, moved to Pittsburg and transferred schools?”
“And risked my whole future?”
Even now, with the truth laid out before him, it still all came down to football. I couldn’t blame him for resenting Hailee’s mom. Hating her, even. But Hailee wasn’t her mom. She wasn’t the responsible party here. She was just another innocent kid caught up in the mess her parent created.
And she had no idea about the truth of the situation.
“I get it,” I admitted. “I’d hate her too. But Hailee is—”
“Hailee is a sanctimonious bitch who thinks she’s better than me. She always has. Did you know her old man was a big hot shot football player at college?” I shook my head, anger rippling up my spine at the way he talked about her. But I wasn’t about to start something I wasn’t sure I could finish.
Jase went on, “Yeah, played running back for Rutgers. He knocked up Denise when they were in junior year and left her carrying the baby while he pursued football and pussy.”
“I had no idea.” But it explained some of Hailee’s attitude towards football, towards us. The team.
She’d grown up with no father because he chose the game, the life, over her and her mom.
“If you hate her so much, why haven’t you told her the truth?”
Jase’s eyes darkened, but I saw the hesitation there. When he didn’t answer, I added, “Know what I think? I think you’re lashing out at her because you can’t go after Denise. Deep down, you know your dad will pick Denise because he loves her, and people do crazy shit in the name of love. And that scares you.”
I’d known Mr. Ford since I was just a kid and I’d never seen him act with Mrs. Ford, the way he did with Denise. He didn’t just love her, he adored her. And for the first time ever, Jason wasn’t first string in his father’s life.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” I knew I was right. Jason was still just a twelve-year-old kid who had found out his dad had fallen in love with another woman.
“No,” Hailee’s voice cut through the room and my stomach sank. Shit, she wasn’t supposed to be here. She was supposed to be at Felicity’s house, where I’d left her sleeping.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jase growled.
“I came to find Flick; she wasn’t answering her phone.”
He grumbled something under his breath, irritation radiating from him, but Hailee added, “You’re joking, right? What you said about my … my mom, it’s just cruel joke?”
The pain in her voice cut through me like bullets. I wanted to turn around and say something to comfort her, to fix this, but I was rooted to the spot, unable to move, the weight of her stare burning into my back.
“It’s the truth, little sister,” Jase said mockingly, and I wanted to drive my fist into his face just to shut him up. “Your mom isn’t the upstanding woman you think she is.”
“No…” she whispered, her voice broken. “I don’t believe you, you’re lying. You’re just trying to hurt me.”
“Not so smug now, are you?” Jase laughed bitterly. “You hate me, hate everything I stand for because your dad was a piece of shit who didn’t stand up and take responsibility for his mistakes, but it didn’t stop your mom making a play for my dad. She practically begged him to fuck her. Was ready to spread her legs like a—”
“You need to back off.” I stepped in front of Jason, shielding Hailee from him.
His lips curled in a vicious smirk as realization dawned in his dark gaze. “I knew it. I knew you were fucking hard for her. All these years, you went along with my shit, played the game, but it wasn’t for my benefit, was it? It was for hers. You were protecting her. You chose her over me.”
“I chose you, remember?” I gave him a pointed look, my fists curled at my sides as I forced myself to remain calm, to not get drawn into his malicious game.
“Nah, man.” Jase shook his head. “You didn’t choose me. You chose her. Are you fucking her?”
Hailee’s harsh intake of breath made me flinch. But I didn’t turn around to look at her still, I couldn’t.
“I asked you a question.” He scratched his jaw, waiting for an answer.
“No,” I lied, hating myself. I looked my best friend dead in the eye and lied. But I knew if I confessed, this would end badly. Far worse than it was already heading.
“But you want to, don’t you?”
“Jase, man, come on. Don’t do this.”
“Do what? Ask my best friend if all this time he’s been planning on stabbing me in the back and all over some self-righteous bitch?” His eyes flicked over my shoulder to Hailee and my spine went rigid.
“It isn’t like that and you know it.” My teeth ground together behind my lips as I tried to get a handle on the anger boiling in my veins. But for as much as I wanted to protect her, to defend Hailee’s honor against Jason and his cruel tongue, I needed his eyes off her and on me more.
“Nah, I don’t know anything anymore.” He inclined his head, rubbing his jaw harshly. “I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. It was you and me, bro. We were going to be unstoppable. Nothing was going to ever come between us, remember?” Jase ate up the distance between us until we were toe-to-toe, staring at me as if he no longer recognized me. Slamming his shoulder into mine, he said, “I hope she’s worth it,” and then he stormed out of the room.
I released the breath I’d been holding, turning slowly to face Hailee. She was pale, her face a mask of sadness as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. “Hailee, I—”
“Don’t, okay.” Her voice trembled as she backed up. “Just don’t.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Silence enveloped us. Thick and suffocating. But I didn’t know how to fix this. She wasn’t supposed to be here, she wasn’t supposed to hear any of this.
After a few seconds, Hailee finally broke the tension. “Is it true? Was he telling the truth?”
“I- I think so.” I swallowed, my throat dry. Jason was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar. If he did something, he owned that shit every time.
“But my mom wouldn’t… she wouldn’t do that.” Hailee folded trembling hands around her waist, as if she was holding herself together. “Not after my dad…”
“Even adults make mistakes, Hailee.”
“And Jason, what did he mean about you choosing me?”
Shit.
Shit!
&
nbsp; “I, hmm…” I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the giant fucking lump stuck there. “Maybe we should talk about this another time…”
“No, I think we should talk about it now.” She glared at me and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Nothing about this conversation would end well, not after Jase’s revelation. But she was staring at me with those honey-brown eyes of hers, coaxing all my truths out of me, and I knew I had to confess.
“Sixth grade, when you first moved in with Jase and his dad…”
“I remember. I thought you wanted to be friends with me.” Sadness washed over her.
“I did.” My chest tightened. “I liked you. You were a breath of fresh air, always standing up to Jason and refusing to take his shit. I admired you.”
“What changed?” she said coolly, the bite in her voice turning my blood to ice.
“Jason started to get jealous. He never said anything, but I realized the more I talked to you,”—and I’d talked to her a lot—“the more he taunted you. Right before summer, I called him out on it, and he told me I had to choose. Him or you.”
Hurt flashed over her face. “And you chose him.”
“I know it doesn’t make any sense, Hailee, but I didn’t choose him, I chose you. I saw the way Jason looked at you. He hated you. It was messed up, and I didn’t really understand it, but I knew how cruel he could be. I knew he’d never leave you alone if I admitted the truth.”
“The truth?”
“I liked you. Even back then, when I was too young to understand girls or any of that stuff. I knew you were different. You were the first girl I’d ever wanted to be around, to get to know.”
“You made my life miserable that summer.”
“I know.” Guilt knotted my stomach as the memories washed over me.
We’d spent an entire summer taunting her, playing pranks, stealing her stuff, and making her life a misery. It was like Jason was testing me; making me prove my loyalty. And I’d gone along with it because I hoped if I played his games, he’d eventually back off and leave her alone. But he didn’t. And by the time I realized he wasn’t going to; it was too late. A line had been drawn between us. Hailee one side; Jason, me, and Asher the other. As the years went on, I told myself it was for the best, that admitting how I felt about her would only add fuel to the fire. So I stayed away. I played Jase’s games and somewhere along the way, I even grew to enjoy them. Because provoking her, pushing her to retaliate, was my chance to get a rise out of her, to give me attention.
It was the only way I got to keep a piece of Hailee Raine in my life.
“Am I really supposed to believe, that all this time, you went along with his stupid games because you… liked me?” The doubt in Hailee’s eyes was enough to slay me, but I looked her dead in the eye as I nodded.
“It makes no sense—”
“You’re damn right it doesn’t,” she spat. “We’re not kids, Cameron. This isn’t junior high anymore. This is my life. And it’s all been some big game to you. I’ve been a big game—”
“What?” Panic clawed up my throat. “It hasn’t… that’s not…”
“I need to go.” She turned on her heel and made a beeline for the door, but I rushed over to her, snagging her wrist. “Wait,” I choked out. “We need to talk about this—”
There was too much left unsaid. Too much I needed to try to explain. But when Hailee met my wild gaze again, I saw the defeat in her eyes.
“You know,” she said softly, her flat tone cracking my chest wide open. “I always knew I was right about you. I can’t trust you.” She shrugged me off and fled the room, taking a piece of my broken, bloodied heart with her.
Earlier had been one of the best moments of my life. It hadn’t felt like a betrayal or a game. It had felt real.
Right.
It had felt like a long fucking time coming.
But now, in the harsh light of day, everything had gone to shit. And I couldn’t help but think, I only had myself to blame.
Hailee
“Hailee, sweetheart, is everything okay?” Mom’s voice drifted through the crack in the door, but I ignored her, the same as I had the previous three times she’d come to check on me.
After overhearing Jason and Cameron’s argument, I’d fled Asher’s house and holed up in my bedroom. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. Mom and Kent hadn’t met after he and Jason’s mom separated, at all. Mom was the other woman. And all this time, Jason knew.
He knew and he’d never breathed a word of it.
It wasn’t any wonder he hated my mom, or me, for that fact. I’d always been so judgmental about him and the Raiders. Scarred by my own experiences of growing up without a father because of football. Gary Broker had been a rising star in the NCAA. He didn’t have time to raise a baby, to play happy families with the girl he accidentally knocked up. He had better things to be doing with his time—the endless cycle of girls and parties and attention—and all I had was a couple of grainy photos of him and not a single good memory. Even after I was born, he still wanted nothing to do with me. There had been a handful of awkward meetings when I was a kid, but those didn’t last past my seventh birthday when he finally grew up and settled down with his other family—the one he actually gave a shit about.
Mom had spent years drilling it into me; telling me that guys like him couldn’t be trusted. Athletes. Jocks. Guys who were more focused on their careers than girls. But it was all a lie. Because we’d moved to Rixon and she’d managed to sniff out Kent Ford. Local football hero and legend in the making, if it hadn’t been for his career-ending accident.
God, I was so naive.
All this time, I’d hated on Jason when Mom hadn’t only betrayed him, she’d betrayed me too.
“Hailee,” her voice pulled me from my thoughts. “I’m coming in, baby.” She appeared around the door, giving me a concerned smile. “You’ve been up here hours; you missed dinner.”
“I don’t feel like eating right now.”
“Did something happen… with Jason?” Her lips pursed as if it was a forgone conclusion. “He’s acting more grouchy than usual.”
Of course she’d assume it was him. Because for years she’d stood on the sidelines as we duked it out, and never once had she tried to fix the mess.
The mess she’d created.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” The words spilled out.
“Tell you?” she said, perching on the edge of my bed. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“How did you meet Kent, Mom?”
Her expression faltered but she quickly recovered. “You know this story, baby. We moved to Rixon and Kent was good enough to help me out with a flat tire and the rest as they say is history.”
“I know.”
“Know?” She inclined her head. “Hailee, I’m not sure—”
“Jason told me.” She inhaled sharply, the noise puncturing the air, and my heart. But she didn’t say anything. Didn’t try to tell me I was wrong, that she had no idea what I was referring to. “You knew, he knew?”
I’d heard Jason tell Cameron he didn’t think his dad knew so I’d assumed she was just as clueless.
“I suspected he knew something, yes.” Mom lowered her eyes, but I saw the regret there, the shame coloring her cheeks.
“So, it is true? You had an affair?”
“Baby.” She reached for me, but I snatched my hand back. “Matters of the heart are never that straightforward.” Mom gave a little sigh.
“Matters of the heart?” I laughed bitterly. “You broke up their marriage, Mom. You ruined Jason’s—”
“It’s not that simple.” Panic rose in her voice now. “Kent and Maryanne were having issues, he was lonely—”
“So, you thought you’d what? Offer a shoulder to cry on? A warm bed at night. Somewhere for him to escape his shitty marriage?”
“Hailee Raine,” she scolded, her expression hardening. “I know you’re upset, but I am still your mother.�
��
Which was kind of the point. Adults were supposed to set examples, to be the ones scolding their kids for making mistakes. Not the other way around.
“You lied,” I said. “All these years, you lied. I spent years in awe of your strength, Mom. You raised me alone, never asked dad for anything. I admired you for not taking the easy route, for not settling for just any old guy.” And there had been quite a few along the way. “And I had to find out from Jason it was all a lie.”
“Hailee, please, let me explain...” Tears rolled down her cheeks, but I wouldn’t comfort her.
I couldn’t.
“You raised me in your image, Mom. You made me believe in self-worth, in never settling for anything less than I deserve. But you also hardened me. All those stories warning me about guys like Dad, it messed with my head. And then you moved me to a town where football is more important than anything, and shacked up with a local football legend, no less. And I never complained. Not once. Because I was happy for you. Because it was your time to enjoy life, to be happy. And now I find out it’s all a lie. That you went after Kent knowing he had a wife and a family.
“Get out,” I said coolly.
“Hailee, now just wait a minute—”
“I said get out. I can’t even look at you right now.”
“Hailee Raine.” She blanched.
“Get out,” I yelled. “GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT.” The words tore from my throat like an ugly explosion. Mom sobbed into her hands, fleeing from my room. I hadn’t meant to lose my cool, but I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t sit here and listen to her empty excuses.
She’d lied.
Day after day, she’d looked me in the eye and kept this dirty unforgiveable secret from me. I’d spent almost six years living with Jason, tolerating his bullshit, for her. Because she was happy. Because she deserved a man who treated her the way she deserved to be treated.
Grabbing the nearest pillow, I stuffed it against my face, screaming with frustration. I’d grown up without a father, but I’d never felt like I missed out. Mom was my mom and dad all rolled into one. She’d held me when I hurt, cried with me at sad movies, helped me with science projects, and homework. Where my dad had been absent for every milestone, Mom had been there. One-hundred and ten percent. They were the complete opposite of one another.