by L A Cotton
But in the end, it turned out they had one thing in common.
They’d both betrayed me in the worst possible way.
Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of raised voices. Disoriented, I sat up, rubbing my dry, sore eyes. I’d cried so hard I wasn’t sure there were any tears left.
“You were fucking her long before Mom left,” Jason roared, the anger in his voice evident even from my bedroom.
“Jason, you need to rein it in, now,” Kent sounded calm, composed, as I crept out into the dimly lit hall. “You had no right telling her.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t tell her. She overheard a conversation between—”
“You think I care how she found out, Son? This wasn’t the right way…”
“You think there’s a right way to find out your mom is a homewrecking who—” The sound of skin cracking pierced the air and I flinched, tiptoeing down the stairs.
“Touch me again…” My step-brother’s voice was low. Deadly. And for a split second, I feared for Kent’s wellbeing. But for as much as an asshole as Jason was, I didn’t truly believe he would hurt his dad.
“Jason, I didn’t… I’m sorry. I just don’t appreciate you talking about Denise in such a way. This is a mess, Son. If only you had come to me sooner—”
“You would have what? Ended it? Tried to fix things with Mom?”
“That’s not—”
“Didn’t think so,” Jason ground out. “Mom left. She left because of you. Because of her. And you wonder why I can’t fucking stand her.”
“Enough,” Kent snapped. “Denise is my wife, Jason. Nothing you could have said or done was ever going to change that. I love her. And I’m sorry things happened the way they did, I truly am, but life isn’t always easy, Son. It’s messy and hard and sometimes it hurts.”
I was rooted to the spot, my fingers curled around the bannister. I’d never heard Jason and his dad argue before. They weren’t always warm with one another, but I figured that was down to Jason. He was detached, devoid of emotion. But now I realized there was far more to my step-brother than met the eye, and for as much as I didn’t want to feel sympathy for him, I couldn’t help it.
I’d known the truth for a few hours—he’d lived with it for years.
So why had he never told me? It couldn’t have been to protect me, that made no sense. He’d expressed his contempt for me on more than one occasion. But a tiny part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he wanted to spare me the pain that came with knowing.
A door slammed, jolting me from my thoughts, and I ran back upstairs, locking myself in my room. I might have felt sympathy for Jason, but Flick was right, I was hardened. Because although I knew he was in pain, although I knew he probably needed someone as much as I did right now, I couldn’t be that person for him.
I couldn’t forgive him.
By the time Monday morning rolled around, I was exhausted. I’d barely slept last night. My conversation with Mom, and the one I’d overheard between Jason and Kent, replayed over and over, until my dreams became a skewed reality; lies and truths becoming a tangled web of uncertainty. Jason hadn’t returned home and I assumed he’d stayed over at Asher’s, or his latest hook up’s. I’d overheard Kent reassuring Mom things would blow over, as if the truth was just something we could all brush under the rug and ignore. But whatever they needed to tell themselves for an easy life.
“Good morn—you look like crap.” Flick’s brows knitted together. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got precisely,”—she checked the clock on the dash—“eleven minutes, hit me.”
So I told her what happened, from the moment Cameron showed up at her house yesterday, right up to when I’d heard Jason and Kent arguing last night.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” she said, pulling into the school parking lot. “You had hot delicious sex with Cameron; found out your mom and Kent had an affair behind Mrs. Ford’s back, effectively ending their marriage, and Jason knew all this time?”
“Don’t forget the bit about Cameron being a jerk to me all these years because my step-brother made him choose between us.” My lips flattened into a tight line.
“I don’t even know where to start. Let’s start with the sex.” Her eyes twinkled with possibilities. “Yes, let’s definitely start there, although you owe me so much for the fact you had sex in my bed. I mean, really? I had to sleep in there.” Her nose wrinkled.
“Flick, focus.” I groaned, burying my face into my hands, partly from embarrassment and partly from frustration that we were even talking about this. “Did you hear anything I just said? Cameron basically treated me like crap all these years because—”
“He was protecting you, obviously,” she said the words without hesitation, her eyes rolling the way they did whenever she thought I was being dumb, as I peeked over at her.
“Protecting me, right.”
“Come on, Hails.” She leaned over, tugging my hands away from my face. “You can’t deny it has a certain romantic poetry.”
“Romantic poetry,” I muttered under my breath, shouldering the door and climbing out of her car. “Well romantic or not, I’m not sure how I feel about it all.”
“So, you’re not going to have a Romeo and Juliet style reunion in the cafeteria?” Her brows waggled and I pursed my lips.
“You do know they both ended up dead?” My brow shot up and she smothered a laugh. “That won’t be happening, Flick. Besides, you seem to have forgotten one very minor detail, I have to survive that first.” I pointed at the gathered crowd, all staring in my direction.
“Shit,” she whistled between her teeth. “Maybe we should cut class today. I’m not sure—”
“Nope.” I hitched my bag up my shoulder and started forward, ignoring the chorus of insults.
Slut.
Whore.
Eagles skank.
I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing down the tears building. “I will not let Lewis Thatcher, or anyone else for that matter, run me out of school,” I said with wavering conviction.
So they had all seen the video of me passed out and naked? Shame on them for watching it in the first place. I had bigger things to worry about now. Like my homewrecking mother and my conflicting thoughts for a step-brother I’d spent the best part of six years hating.
Not to mention the guy who consumed my every waking thought but gave me whiplash at every turn.
Flick plastered herself to my side, slipping her arm through mine. “You’re either very brave, Hails,” she whispered, her hard gaze sending warning signs to a few girls nearby who were blatantly pointing and snickering. “Or very stupid.”
“Yeah,” I breathed out, feeling my classmates judgy stares brush up against me as we filed into school. “I’ll let you know which when I figure it out.”
What I really wanted was to turn and run, to get far far away from them. But I would not cower. Not today. Not over the video or my classmates. I was better than that.
Better than them.
And it’d take more than this to break me.
Cameron
“Get it together, ladies,” Coach boomed across the field as I fumbled the ball for the third time that morning. “Fourteen,” he yelled. “Do we have a problem, Son?”
“No, Sir,” I replied, cussing under my breath.
“And what about you, QB? Something you want to tell me?”
“No, Sir,” Jase echoed my words, glaring at me across the field.
I hadn’t seen him since he stormed off yesterday. But it was fine by me; I had bigger things to deal with.
“Okay, run it again.” Coach Hasson sounded pissed, and I didn’t blame him. We were unfocused, the tension between me and Jase rippling around the field like a storm on the horizon.
“How about you try to catch it this time?” Someone chuckled but I let it roll off my shoulders, moving into position for the play.
“Hut,” Jas
e’s voice echoed around us as Grady snapped him the ball, and I took off, looping behind him and down the right-hand side of the field. He let the ball fly and I tracked its projection, but something caught my eye.
Hailee.
She was sat in the bleachers, glasses framing her face, sketch pad balanced on her knees.
“Mother of God,” Coach yelled, as my fingers grazed the leather and the ball rolled out of my reach. “Bring it in offense. Now.”
I let out a heavy sigh as I jogged over to the sideline, but Jase stepped in front of me. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?” he said through gritted teeth and I shot him a hard glare. “You really want to go there?” I snapped.
“Maybe we should. Maybe if we aired all this crap between us, you’d actually manage to catch a fucking pass or two.” He was toe-to-toe with me now, our shoulders squared, eyes locked on one another.
The entire field was quiet, tension crackling in the air as everyone waited to see what would happen.
“Walk away, Chase,” he said coolly.
“You walk the fuck away.”
“If the two of you don’t get over here in the next two seconds,” Coach boomed. “I’m going to knock your goddamn heads together.”
Jase expelled a heavy sigh and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what had just gone down between us and then he did something I never expected.
He walked away.
Forcing myself to take a breath and calm down, I trailed after him, joining the huddle.
“Did I wake up in some alternate universe where my wide receiver can’t catch the damn ball and my quarterback is growling at his teammates instead of talking to them with the goddamn respect they deserve?” His eyes drilled into me and Jase as we stood shoulder to shoulder, despite the vast fucking ocean between us.
“Sorry, Coach,” Jase grumbled. “It’s been a rough couple of days.” His eyes slid to mine.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Coach Hasson cupped his ear. “Because it sounded like you grew a pussy overnight, Ford. It’s week five. We’re at the halfway mark, ladies. You think we can afford to drop the ball now, no pun intended, Chase? The play-offs are almost within our reach, but we need to keep our heads. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Sir,” a few of us mumbled.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes, Sir.” Our voices melded into one.
“Good, now get out there and play like the team I know you can. Chase, Son, a word.”
Jase’s eyes followed me as I stayed behind while everyone else moved into position. “Do I need to be worried?” Coach didn’t beat around the bush. “You’re fumbling the ball, messing up plays, and I know you were late to conditioning this morning. Something you want to tell me, Son?” His eyes softened as he waited for answers.
Answers I didn’t have.
Because while everything was falling to shit around me, I couldn’t tell him.
I couldn’t say the words even if I wanted to.
“I’m fine, Coach,” I choked out, feeling the weight of the lie heavy on my chest. “I’ll be fine.”
His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Let’s go then. We’ve got a game to win Friday.” Coach clapped me on the back, and I jerked forward, my eyes skirting over to where Hailee sat all alone. I wanted to go over there. To apologize for yesterday and explain everything, but what was the point? She’d barely looked at me all morning, her walls higher than ever.
I’d finally gotten my moment with her, only to have it ripped away from me in the blink of an eye.
And it sucked.
“Chase, let’s go,” Coach snapped, and I shook my head, ridding myself of the thoughts. I wanted Hailee. I wanted her so fucking much. But I wanted a lot of things. College. A football scholarship. A bright future.
But sometimes dreams didn’t come true.
Sometimes they went up in flames and there was nothing you could do but try to avoid the burn.
“Okay, I gotta ask, what the fuck is going on with you and Jase?” Ash slammed his hand against the locker next to mine, blocking my exit.
“Not in the mood,” I said, cutting him with a hard look.
“Tough shit because I tried asking him and he almost bit my head off. So now I’m asking you. And don’t give me any of that, ‘everything is fine’ bullshit. I was at practice. I saw you fumble the ball like a pro. Let’s not forget the fact the two of you looked ready to throw down.”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I spotted Hailee out of the corner of my eye and leaned back against the locker bank, following her with my eyes. She didn’t look at me; she didn’t have to. I felt her ‘stay the fuck away from me’ vibes from where I was standing.
“What’s happening there?” Ash’s voice cut through my trance. “Because I’m sensing some serious dark juju from her.”
“Beats me.” I shrugged, ducking around him and following Hailee down the hall.
“So, the two of you are—”
“Nothing.” I winced, my chest squeezing. We weren’t nothing. We were something.
Only I wasn’t sure we were anymore.
“Jeez, getting answers from you is like prying Mackey off of Khloe’s tits.”
“So quit asking.”
“Come on, man, this is me. I know something went down between you and Jase and I’d bet my inheritance it has something to do with her.” He jabbed his finger at Hailee’s retreating form.
“It’s not my story to tell.” I picked up the pace.
“What the hell does that mean?” he called after me, but I was too focused on the girl ahead of me. She veered to the left away from the flow of kids heading for the cafeteria and headed toward the arts department.
“Hailee,” I shouted as she was about to disappear through the doors.
“Go away, Cameron.” She didn’t even glance back at me. She might as well have ripped out my heart and stomped all over it.
“I just want to talk, please.” I need to talk.
“I’m busy. I have to work on the project.”
Screw the damn project, I wanted to say. I need you.
“Please,” my voice cracked, betraying me but it got her attention. Slowly Hailee turned to face me, her brows knitted together. “What, Cameron?”
“I...” the words lodged in my throat. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s what you wanted to tell me?” She scoffed. “I don’t have time for this. I’ve had a really shitty morning.”
“What’s wrong—”
“Really, Cameron? Or did you just forget the video that Thatcher splashed all over social media?” Hurt burned in her eyes.
Fuck.
“I didn’t... I mean, of course I hadn’t...” But I had. I’d been so preoccupied I’d forgotten all about it. There had been weight conditioning, then practice, and my head was all over the place after the weekend. Way to go jackass. But now she mentioned it, I noticed the stares, the low rumble of whispers from a group of kids passing.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” I snapped, feeling my muscles lock.
“Cameron, don’t.” Hailee’s warning barely penetrated the red mist descending over me.
“Surprised he wants Thatcher’s slut—”
I was on the guy in a second. The air whooshed from his lungs as his back hit the wall, the sound reverberating around us. “What the fuck did you say?” My fingers tightened around his throat, the blood draining from his face.
“I... I...” The kid spluttered.
“Cameron, this isn’t helping.” Hailee moved into my periphery.
“You think you can talk about her like that?”
“Just stop.” The sheer desperation in Hailee’s voice made me loosen my grip and the guy slid down the wall, coughing and spluttering.
“Get the fuck out of here,” I rasped, my eyes fixed on Hailee and not him.
He scurried away and I exhaled a long breath. “It’s been like that all morning?”
Hailee
stared at me as if she didn’t recognize me and my chest squeezed.
“What was that?” She seethed. “I don’t need you to protect me, Cameron. I was doing just fine without—”
“Hailee, please.” I closed the distance between us, crowding her against the wall, and caged her in with my hands either side of her head. “I’m sorry, okay? I just—” Fuck. I was screwing everything up. But I couldn’t think straight.
“I need to go.” Hailee let out an exasperated breath, her shoulders sagging with defeat. I wanted to say something to fix it, to fix us, but she wasn’t the only one broken anymore. And when I tried to speak, nothing but a heavy sigh escaped my lips.
“I’ll see you around, Cameron.” She gave me a weak smile and slipped out from between me and the wall, disappearing through the swinging doors, and all I could do was watch.
As the week went on, things only got worse. Jase and I could barely be in the same room together without the tension reaching boiling point. Asher didn’t know whose side to take or why he was even taking sides in the first place. And I wanted to kill someone every time I heard them mention the video of Hailee. Thankfully, shutting that shit down was the one thing we could agree on, and between us we’d quashed any mention of the video in the halls at school.
“Good morning.” Dad breezed into the kitchen.
“Hey.” I stirred the spoon through my cereal with little enthusiasm.
“Big game tomorrow?”
“I guess.”
“Cameron, Son, everything is going to be ok—”
“I can’t do this.” I shoved the bowl away and stood up. “I can’t pretend everything is fine; everything is not fucking fine.”
“Son, look at me.” Dad came to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “We are going to get through this, Son, all of us. But what I need from you right now, what me and your mom both need, is for you to carry on like normal. Go to school, focus on football, and make us proud.”