Off the Hook

by Laura Drewry

  She liked him plenty. Sure, she might not have liked the way he chewed with his mouth open, but he’d said he had some sort of sinus thing going on. And she really wasn’t a fan of how often he checked his phone, but so far as she could tell, that’s what most people did these days.

  Besides herself, Finn was the only other person Jessie knew who didn’t own a cellphone, or “leash,” as Finn liked to call them. In the few years between Jimmy O’Donnell shutting the Buoys down and his sons reopening it, Jessie had tried to live a normal life in the city, which included getting herself a cellphone. But more often than not she’d forget it at home anyway, and since there was no cell coverage of any kind at the Buoys, she’d been just as happy to ditch the thing when she moved back to the lodge last spring.

  “Then what?” Kate prodded. As she spoke, she tugged the latch on the pocket door and slid it into place, shutting the two of them inside the room out of earshot of anyone else.

  Crap. Jessie let her head fall back against the chair for a second before blowing out a breath and sitting up again.

  “Okay, here’s the thing, and I admit it’s really stupid, so don’t judge me.”

  “Ha!” Kate scoffed. “You’re talking to the woman who married a guy less than a week after meeting him, so let’s try to keep ‘stupid’ in perspective here, shall we?”

  Jessie couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Fair enough, but you and Liam are together again, so maybe that wasn’t so stupid after all.”

  “Whatever,” Kate said, rolling her hand in circles to hurry Jessie along.

  “Okay. Finn and Liam were in town in January, so we all went to the boat show because…I don’t know…it’s what we always did when Jimmy was running this place, so we kept on doing it even after he shut it down. Anyway, Sam and his crew had a booth set up at the show and that’s where I met him.”

  “And?”

  Jessie pressed her hands over her face then flung them away.

  “And it’s shallow, I know, but he’s so cute, and he was the first guy I liked who showed any interest in me since…well…” Jessie sighed. “It had been a while, let me tell ya. I mean, crap, Kate, I worked for Jimmy from the time I was seventeen until he shut the Buoys down, so it wasn’t like I had a lot of chances to get into a relationship, you know? And then after, when I left here and moved to the city for those three years, I always felt weird and awkward around the guys I met.”

  “But not Sam?”

  “Well…yeah, even with Sam.” Jessie laughed as heat rushed over her cheeks. Truth be told, there was only one guy she’d never felt the least bit weird with, and he’d just walked out of the room. “You have to understand, when I worked here before, I was the only woman. Sure, we had the occasional female guest, but every other worker here was male and they all considered me one of the guys, so it was really weird when someone came along who didn’t think of me that way. It’s still weird. And I know it’s weird for the guys I meet, too, because…well, look at me. I don’t even know how to act like a girl anymore.”

  Kate’s frown darkened her whole face. “What are you talking about, ‘act’?”

  “Oh, come on. I’ve never worn a pair of heels in my life and the last dress I owned was the one I wore to my first communion. I live in denim and wool; when I moved to the city, instead of a ‘normal’ job, I went to work down at the docks. I don’t have a group of girlfriends who get together all the time and the only make-up I own is this.” Jessie lifted her well-used tube of cherry ChapStick off the desk and waved it back and forth.

  “Who cares?” Kate clicked her tongue. “You’re the most amazing chick I’ve ever met; you do things most men wouldn’t do, so I don’t care how cute this Sam Ross dude is, you deserve a good guy, Jessie, and if he doesn’t appreciate the real you, then he’s an idiot.”

  “Yeah, well,” Jessie snorted quietly. “In his defense, he doesn’t actually know the real me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Jessie groaned long and low before answering. “It’s so stupid, but I had no idea what I was doing. I mean here was this great guy who wanted to go out with me and I…well…I panicked, okay? All I could think about was this stupid interview I’d seen him give to one of those entertainment channels where they asked him what he looks for in a woman.”

  “Oh God.” If Kate’s eyes had rolled any higher, they might not have ever come back. “What did he say?”

  Jessie couldn’t have felt more idiotic if she’d tried. “He said he looks for someone who’s strong and confident.”

  “You’re strong and confident.” Kate laughed quietly. “Most of the time.”

  Jessie huffed out a sigh as she gave Kate a skeptical look. “Someone who likes the outdoors—”

  “You love the outdoors.”

  “—and someone who loves fishing as much as he does.”

  “Oh. Wellll…” Kate drawled. “You like the idea of fishing. You like working in the fishing industry and you can fillet salmon almost as fast and clean as Finn can.”

  “Somehow I doubt that’s what he meant.” Jessie fisted her hands and ran them hard down the length of her thighs. “This is a guy who surfs and kiteboards and goes white-water rafting for fun.”

  “So what?” Kate’s confused frown didn’t last long. “Oh my God, did you tell him you do all those things, too?”

  “Not exactly.” With a small tight grimace, Jessie rubbed the back of her neck slowly. “I was simply telling him stories about what it had been like to work here before Jimmy shut it down, and when I talked about where we took the guests on the boats, he sort of took that to mean that I was part of we.”

  “You told him you were one of the guides.”

  “No!” Jessie’s voice cracked as she hurried to defend herself, knowing it was a pathetic attempt at best. “I didn’t. I just didn’t correct him when he jumped to that conclusion is all, so he has no idea that I…that…”

  “That you don’t do water.”

  Jessie lifted her hands and sighed.

  Kate seemed to consider the information for a few seconds. “Well, that’s okay, right? If it was just the one date, he can’t really hold it against you, so when he gets here, just work the truth into the conversation somehow.”

  Jessie chewed her bottom lip for a second, then winced as she confessed more. “It was actually three dates. Plus he emails me once in a while, and he’s called twice.”

  “He— Ugh, Jess.”

  “I know, right? But when I first realized that’s what he thought, I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. I mean, God almighty, I’ve lived at this fishing lodge out here in the middle of nowhere for most of my adult life but I don’t go in or on the water. That’s not normal, Kate, I don’t care who you are.

  “And honestly, the first time he asked me out, I thought he only did it because Liam pretty much shoved me at him, so it didn’t occur to me that I’d need to tell him the truth because I didn’t expect it to go any further than that first date.”

  “But then…”

  “Yeah.” Jessie nodded. “But then there was a second date, and then a third, and…I don’t know. It’s not like we have this deep serious relationship going on, but he’s obviously going to figure things out when he gets here and I’m going to end up looking like the big fat liar I am. And what if it ruins things for the Buoys?”

  “How could it ruin anything? So he finds out the truth—what’s the worst that can happen?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” she scoffed. “He could pick up his show and take it somewhere else.”

  “Not gonna happen,” Kate said, shaking her head. “The producer I spoke to said the Buoys was already on their list of lodges they were interested in because of the whole ‘family owned and operated for so many years’ angle.”

  “Really?”

  “Mm-hmm. And having Liam here full-time now was just icing on the cake.”

  “Yeah.” Jessie nodded slowly. “Thank God for Liam.”

  Liam mi
ght hate that they used his quasi-celebrity status as a marketing tool, but how many other fishing lodges could boast that one of their owners was a former major league pitcher? And with competition being what it was in this industry, the Buoys had to use whatever it could to lure guests in.

  “Look,” Kate said. “This isn’t such a big deal. Hooked is coming next month regardless, and sure we need to do what we can to keep them coming back every year, but that has nothing to do with whatever is or isn’t going on between you and Sam. If your fear of the water is a deal breaker for him—which would be stupid if you ask me—then you can either kiss him goodbye or…”

  “Or what?”

  Kate hesitated, tipping her head from side to side. “Or maybe you should think about finally working through your fear so that you can eventually get in the water.”

  Get in the water.

  The words echoed in Jessie’s ears, followed immediately by the same rejection her brain threw up every time she’d even remotely considered the idea—and she’d considered it hundreds of times over the years. Hell, just this past spring she’d started to consider it again and then—

  A sharp knock on the door made them both jump.

  “Jessie?”

  Kate slid the door open to Olivia Shaw, who held a martini glass in one hand and a jar of olives in the other.

  “I’ve got a guest wanting a martini and the only thing I can think to put in it is vermouth and olives. Is that it?”

  Jessie was out of her chair like a shot. As brilliant as Olivia was in the kitchen, she’d proven time and again that tending bar wasn’t anywhere in the realm of her expertise. And if the guest in question was Joe Finder, any hint of an olive in his glass would send him into anaphylactic shock.

  “I’ll get it, thanks.” Jessie was halfway out the door when Kate stopped her.

  “Do it for you, Jessie, not for anyone else or for any other reason. Just you.”

  Jessie didn’t answer, just forced a weak smile and hurried to the pub before Liv killed off one of their guests.

  For the rest of the night, Jessie tried to focus on the guests as she always did, making sure they had everything they needed, that Olivia received the meal orders quickly and accurately, and that Finn and his brothers got a little bit of time by themselves so they could all go over the Hooked contract before Ronan left in the morning.

  And yet no matter how hard Jessie tried to quiet it, Kate’s voice seemed to be on repeat in the back of her mind.

  Do it for you, Jessie, not for anyone else.

  Jessie knew Kate was right; it was way past time she learned to deal with her fear of water. But last spring, when she’d watched Finn take a header off the dock, every one of her nightmares had come roaring back in brilliant blasts of Technicolor—only this time they were joined by a silent scream in the back of her head.

  Not Finn!

  Instead of running to help him, every muscle in her body locked up, making it impossible to take a single step. Even after he’d pulled himself back up onto the dock and proved that he was fine, it had taken her days to shake off the terror.

  And every day since, whenever she looked at him, she cursed herself more. What if he had needed help? What if he had hit his head and drowned because she couldn’t get her stupid self in the water?

  It wasn’t the first time she’d worried about it and it probably wouldn’t be the last—not unless she could finally buck up and do something about it. But could she? After being held hostage by fear for so many years, could she finally put the nightmares and images of her sister’s blue-tinged skin out of her mind?

  No, not completely anyway, but the mere fact she’d let herself be held hostage so long should be reason enough to fight her way past it.

  Right. Okay. You can do this.

  She’d do it for herself, like Kate said, but part of doing it for herself meant she would be getting a chance to be more involved with operations at the Buoys, which would be helpful to everyone. And, yeah, it also meant she might actually be that someone Sam was looking for.

  Jessie squeezed her eyes shut against the memory of sitting across the table from him, watching him grind that piece of steak between his molars until he finally swallowed. Did stuff like that matter? It shouldn’t, should it? Besides, if they ever did eat another meal together, she’d simply look at something else.

  Easy peasy.

  Besides, Kate was right; Jessie did deserve a good guy, and aside from the eating and phone issues, Sam seemed like he was all that and a bag of chips.

  Yeah, well, even if that bag of chips was sour cream and onion, she mused as she poured pints of Guinness, you’re not doing it for him.

  Taking care so she didn’t spoil the head on the drinks, she set them on a tray with a plate of peppered chicken wings and delivered them with a smile to table three, all the while repeating the same thing over and over in her head.

  She could do this. She would do this. And even if things didn’t work out with Sam in the end, at least she’d be able to put her feet in the water without hyperventilating.

  It had taken her most of the night to process it all, to make the decision to just do it, so now all she needed to do was figure out who she could ask to help her, because as determined as she was there was no way in heaven or hell she could get in the water by herself the first time.

  Probably not the second or third time, either.

  She really liked Kate, but she’d only known her for a few months and, more to the point, Kate had never actually witnessed Jessie in a full-on wig-out and it was probably best if they kept it that way. At one point or another over the years, all three of the O’Donnell boys had been witness to Jessie completely losing it, so they’d all know what to expect if they agreed to help her do this.

  And honestly, she knew any one of them would be happy to help if she asked. So as the three of them sat around the table in the back corner, heads bent low over the contract, Jessie considered her options.

  Ronan’s vacation days were up, so he would be heading back to his job in Calgary tomorrow, and Liam was still recovering from shoulder surgery, so he wouldn’t be able to do anything if—when—she started to lose it in the water.

  That left Finn.

  As if she’d said his name out loud, Finn lifted his head, his frown of concentration morphing into a slow, relaxed grin as he shot her a quick wink.

  And just like that, a tiny wave of calm flowed through her. She’d trust any of those three with her life, but there’d always been something about Finn and that quick wink of his that set her at ease no matter what.

  Yup, he was the one.

  Of course he was.

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