Elegy (A Watersong Novel)

by Hocking, Amanda

  Harper glanced over at the calendar hanging next to the fridge, as if seeing it would make Tuesday feel any closer. “There’s no way we could talk sooner?”

  “Lydia and I have been going back and forth about some of the translations, and although it doesn’t seem like much, I need the extra few days to hammer out as much as I can,” he said.

  “No, I understand,” Harper said, but she decided to press her luck anyway. “Can I ask what you and Lydia are disagreeing about?”

  “Just phrasing here and there, like whether the word is ‘cursed’ or ‘granted,’” Pine said, then something occurred to him, because he asked, “Do you know if the sirens are connected to Jason or the Argonauts?”

  “Not really.” She tried to think quickly. “According to mythology, I think the Argonauts sailed past the sirens on their journey, but they put wax in their ears and withstood the song. But Gemma’s never said anything about them, or Thea and Penn talking about them. Why?”

  “I knew that Jason and the Argonauts went on a quest for the golden fleece and sailed by the sirens, and like you, I didn’t think they had any real interaction with them,” he said.

  “Do you think that Jason and the Argonauts had something to do with the curse?” Harper asked, and she was already scrambling to remember if Lydia had mentioned anything about their being alive or not.

  “Not exactly.” He let out breath through his teeth. “Not at all, actually. I think there might be a mention of ‘golden fleece’ in the scroll, and the most famous connection to the golden fleece is the Argonauts.

  “But that’s what Lydia and I are disagreeing on,” Pine said. “She thinks the word might actually be ‘skin,’ and not ‘fleece,’ since back in the day, people sometimes referred to the wool on a ram as his skin. And if it’s ‘golden skin,’ that could just be a reference to the sirens’ beauty.”

  “Are you sure?” Harper asked.

  Pine laughed. “No. I’m not sure about any of this. But on this thing, since there’s no other mention of the Argonauts, I think Lydia is probably right. We are making progress, and honestly, in a perfect world, we’d have longer than a weekend to go over this.”

  “Yeah, of course. Sorry.” Harper pushed her hair off her forehead and nodded. “If you want to wait until Tuesday to talk, that’d be fine.”

  “Great. I should be a bit more sure of things by then,” he said. “So I’ll see—”

  “Is there anything about the ink?” Harper asked, interrupting him before he got off the phone.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “Does the scroll say anything about the ink it’s written in?”

  “Um, not really,” Pine answered slowly. “I’ll be on the lookout for it, though.”

  “I think the ink might be important,” Harper said, not wanting to explain to him about Diana or what she’d said. She didn’t know how much Pine knew about what was happening, but she didn’t want to drag him deeper into the mess than he needed to be.

  “If I find anything about the ink before Tuesday, I’ll give you a call, okay?” Pine offered.

  “Yeah. That sounds great,” Harper said. “And thanks again.”

  “Are you kidding me?” He laughed. “I live for this stuff.”

  Harper hung up her phone and stared down at the unchanging scroll in front of her. She knew she could sit staring at it for hours, and nothing would come of it. Soon, she found her thoughts wandering back to the one place she’d been trying to keep them from the last two days—Daniel.

  Since she’d left his place on Wednesday night, she hadn’t spoken to him. It wasn’t just that she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know how she really felt. It hurt, and she was definitely still mad at him … but deep down, she still loved him, and it didn’t feel right leaving things like she had.

  She didn’t know if he’d already slept with Penn or if there was still time to talk him out of it. She didn’t even know if he was still alive, and it was that thought that sent her into motion.

  Talking on the phone wouldn’t be enough. She needed to see him, so she took the little speedboat out to his island. The whole time, as the sun shone down on her, and the seawater sprayed over her, Harper tried to practice what she wanted to say, and she kept insisting that she wouldn’t forgive and forget so easily.

  But when she knocked on his door, and Daniel finally opened it, all her words and convictions fell away. She was still mad at him, but she missed him so much, it took all her willpower to keep from throwing her arms around him.

  He wore his old Led Zeppelin T-shirt with Icarus on it, and the thick lines of his tattoo stretched out past the sleeve as he held the door open. His stubble seemed a bit longer than normal, and the flecks of blue in his hazel eyes stood out like sapphires.

  “Hey. I wasn’t expecting you,” Daniel said after the two of them had stood mute, staring at each other for a full minute.

  “I know. I thought about calling first but … I didn’t.”

  “Yeah, I can see that. Come on in.” He stepped back from the door and motioned for her to enter.

  When she walked by, she made a deliberate choice to put as much space between the two of them as she could. She walked into the kitchen but stopped before going into the living room. The couch looked comfortable, too easy to sit on, and it would be so easy fall into his arms again, the way she had a hundred times before.

  He stayed a step behind her, giving her room, and when she turned around to face him, he had his hands in his back pockets.

  “I just want to say that my being here right now doesn’t mean anything,” Harper said.

  “Okay?”

  “We’re not back together, and I’m still mad at you.” She said that, but she couldn’t look at him when she did.

  “I thought you still would be.” He paused. “You should be.”

  “I know. And I am.”

  “So…” He shifted his weight between his feet. “We are broken up then?”

  She chewed her lip, unsure of how to answer that. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Okay.”

  “I don’t want you to have sex with Penn,” she blurted out. “The very thought of it makes me physically ill.” Even saying it made her stomach lurch, and she pressed her hand to it in the hope that would ease the nausea.

  “I know. Me, too,” he said, and by the pallor of his skin and the hurt in his eyes, she believed him.

  “I know why you’re doing it, and I understand and respect that. And I love it about you that you would be willing to do anything to protect me and my sister.” She stepped closer to him but stopped short before she got too close. “It means a lot to me, honestly.”

  “I just don’t want to let anything bad happen to you.” He shrugged helplessly. “I can’t.”

  “The fact that you didn’t tell me or even discuss this with me beforehand…” Tears threatened again, and she blinked them back and pressed on. “That is unforgivable, Daniel. You did something to us, and you didn’t consult me.”

  He lowered his eyes. “I know. I screwed up, Harper. I really did, and I know it.”

  “Are you still planning to sleep with her?” And then, around the thick lump in her throat, she asked, “Have you slept with her?”

  “No, I haven’t,” he replied quickly, and shook his head. “Not yet. But the deal’s still in place.”

  “If this was like a one-time thing, and then we’d be free of her forever, I would understand.” Harper chose her words carefully. “If you could just pay her off by having sex with her once, it might be worth it. But you know as soon as you do, she’s either going to kill you or me or Gemma or make you have sex with her again, or all of the above.”

  He let out a long breath, then lifted his eyes to meet Harper’s. “She’s extended the agreement.”

  And she actually felt her heart drop, like it slipped free from her chest and plummeted into some deep, dark cavern below.

  “What do you mean?” Harper asked. />
  Daniel rubbed the back of his neck and took a moment to answer. “After we have sex—if she likes it—she wants to turn me into a siren.”

  “But…” She shook her head. “You’re a guy.”

  “That’s what I said. But Penn seems to think it’ll be possible.”

  “Is she sure?”

  “She thinks she is.” He nodded. “I don’t know if she’s delusional or insane or what, but she believes that it’ll work. That I could become a siren and join her for the rest of eternity.”

  Harper clasped her hands together, pushing them hard against her stomach, to keep from them trembling. “And you’ve agreed to that?”

  “The deal is that she would kill Liv, and I would replace her,” Daniel explained. “We’d leave as soon as I became a siren, and I’d go with Gemma. I’d be able to stay with her and protect her, and we’d be far away from you and everyone in Capri. I would be alive, and everyone I care about would live.”

  “But you’d be a weird sex slave to a monster for … forever. You’d give up your entire life, your soul. And that’s if it works. If it doesn’t work, then you’re just dead, which is almost the better option.”

  “I know. But it might not be forever.” Daniel stepped toward her like he meant to offer her comfort, but he stopped himself. “We still might be able to break the curse, and this will just give us more time.”

  “Just because you’re a siren doesn’t mean that Penn won’t kill you. Or Gemma. She’s killed sirens plenty of times before,” she reminded him.

  “But I’ll be stronger. I’ll have the siren power. I can help Gemma, and we could kill Penn together. Even if we can’t break the curse or it takes another thousand years to do it, it’ll be better for everyone on the entire planet if Penn is gone.”

  It was all too much for her. She sat back on a kitchen chair out of fear that her legs would give out beneath her. If killing Penn would break the curse, and Daniel would survive becoming a siren, then he was right. He needed to do this, but the thought of it was more than she could bear.

  “When is this supposed to take place?” Harper asked finally.

  “After the next full moon.” Daniel stood next to her, his hand on the table beside her. “Monday.”

  “So in like three days, you’ll be with Penn, then you’ll be gone?” She looked up at him.

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Does Gemma know?”

  “No. I haven’t told her. I hadn’t told anyone yet.”

  She exhaled shakily. “Are you gonna do it?”

  “I don’t have much of a choice.”

  “Of course you have a choice, Daniel!” she shouted, and stood up. He was right in front of her, and she’d never been so tempted to slap someone and kiss them at the same time. “You always have a choice!”

  “Then I’ve made my choice,” he said. “I chose the thing that keeps you safe and alive. I chose the thing that can help me stop the evil that’s destroying all our lives. I chose the only thing I can do to protect the people I love.”

  “So on Tuesday, you’ll either be dead, or a siren?” Harper asked, since she didn’t know how to argue with that.

  “Yes,” he said, and she let out a small sob.

  “What if you die, Daniel? What then? You can’t help Gemma or me or anyone. You’ll just be dead.”

  “I know, but at least I died trying.”

  “No. That’s not okay.” She shook her head as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I love you.”

  He wiped a tear from her face. “And I love you.”

  “Daniel. I can’t let you do this.”

  He dropped his hand and shook his head resolutely. “Harper, you can’t stop me. And if I don’t do this, she will kill you. She will kill me, and she will kill Gemma. Is that what you want?”

  “No. Of course I don’t want that, but…”

  “Then I have to do this.”

  “What am I supposed to do? Just let you go? Stand by and do nothing?”

  “Just this once.”

  “No, I can’t do that. I can’t just … I have to do something.” She stepped away from him, wiping her eyes. “I should call Lydia and Pine.” As she dug in her pocket for her phone, Daniel sighed.

  “You don’t need to call them this second.”

  “The hell I don’t,” she snapped, but she decided to text Pine instead since she’d already bothered him once today.

  Does the scroll say anything about males? Harper sent him.

  It says some things about men. Can you be more specific? Pine replied a few seconds later.

  Can men be sirens? Harper elaborated.

  I don’t know. Is that important?

  VERY, Harper replied in all caps.

  I’ll check. Give me some time, Pine texted back.

  Her eyes were nearly dry now, but Harper wiped at them again and shoved her phone back in her pocket.

  “Good news?” Daniel asked.

  “More like no news. Not right now.”

  She looked over at him, and for a moment all her anger and hurt were forgotten. All she knew—all that mattered—was that she loved him so much, she wasn’t sure how she’d exist without him.

  He wasn’t her whole life, but he’d completed it in such a way—he’d completed her—that without him, it would feel like half of everything was missing.

  Harper walked over to him and put her hands on his chest. “Daniel, I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You’re not losing me.” He put his arms around her, holding her to him as she stared up at him. “I’m right here, with you, right now.”

  “But for how much longer?”

  He smiled crookedly at her. “It doesn’t matter. ’Cause right now we’re together.”

  Then he leaned down, kissing her more deeply than he’d ever kissed her before. There was a new desperation to it, and insistence and immediacy that made her cling to him.

  Harper’s phone vibrated in her pocket, and for a second, she considered ignoring it. But she knew it could be important, so she untangled herself from Daniel and pulled out her phone.

  All the language appears gender neutral, Pine had texted her.

  Meaning? she replied.

  Meaning I think that men can be sirens. They still have to cannibalize other men to survive, though, Pine responded.

  “Pine thinks you could be a siren,” she told Daniel reluctantly.

  “Good.” He pulled her back into his arms, and she tilted her head to look up at him. “In a few days, I’ll be stronger than ever, and Gemma and I will kill Penn. Then we’ll have all the time in the world to break the curse.”

  “And I’m just supposed to be okay with that?” Harper asked as she struggled not to cry again.

  “No.” He shook his head. “You don’t have to be okay with it. But whether you are or not, it won’t change what I’m going to do. What I need to do.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “Stay with me,” Daniel said. “Just be with me, until I have to go.”

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  Ardor

  As Gemma followed her boyfriend into the kitchen of his house, she pushed away her earlier anxiety and unease. She’d come here to be with Alex today because she needed to just be with him, to love and feel love without worrying about all the other things that were tormenting her.

  Her fight with Penn early this morning had proven not only that she was not ready to take Penn on but that she probably never would be. Penn and Liv would always be far more powerful than her because they frequently dined on human flesh.

  Some of the siren power was derived from the water, but most of it—the strongest, more monstrous parts—came from feeding on the hearts of mortal men. And unless Gemma was willing to do that, she’d never be able to match them. Not unless she started eating more, and Gemma would sooner die than take another human life.

  With each passing day, her hopes of breaking the curse and ever being free of Penn were fading, at least not before she’d h
ave to feed again, and she couldn’t do that. Gemma would never kill another human again, even if that meant she wouldn’t survive.

  Her moments on this earth were growing shorter. So as she lay in bed trying to fall asleep when she got back from the fight, she’d asked herself—if she were to die today or tomorrow, how would she want to spend her last hours?

  And at least that answer was simple. The only place she really wanted to be was with Alex. She loved her mom and dad, and Harper, and even Daniel. But there was nowhere else in the world that she felt more content or safe or happy than in Alex’s arms, and that’s how she’d want to spend the rest of her life.

  “I just got done with work, and I’m kinda starving,” Alex said as he opened his fridge. “Do you want anything?”

  “Uh, I’m okay,” Gemma lied.

  The early-morning battle with Penn and the subsequent healing—like growing back her entire fin—had been very taxing. She’d woken with a slight ache in her bones, but a warm shower had helped that.

  Her cravings were growing more intense, though. It had gotten so bad that she wanted to eat anything that was meat. A rare steak sounded amazing, but all she’d been able to settle for was her dad’s lunch meat, and that hadn’t sated her hunger as much as she’d hoped.

  But her willpower was growing stronger. Alex was right, and thinking of love did a much better job of keeping her in control than fear or anger ever did. So when her hunger flared up, Gemma just pushed it back down and refused to acknowledge it.

  “Or did you want to go out?” Alex turned back to face her, holding a Tupperware container full of spaghetti in his hand. “We could go someplace.”

  Gemma shook her head. “No, here’s okay.”

  “Cool.” He grinned and popped the food in the microwave, then grabbed a Mountain Dew out of the fridge and set it on the counter. “My parents are gone for the night. They went down to the carnival at Bayside Park.”

  “That’s probably for the best.” Gemma hopped on a stool and leaned on the kitchen counter. “Your parents don’t like me much.”

  “It’s just that since you and I started seeing each other, I’ve been acting so strange.” The microwave beeped, and Alex got his food out. “And that’s not your fault.”