Forever Night

by W. J. May

  “Are you?” Her mother shook her head. “I came to halfway back here, and I nearly killed Liam to get back to you. He had to fight me into the house. I bet it’ll be in the papers tomorrow.” She smoothed Kallie’s hair back, her fingers trembling. “I was so scared, Kallie. So scared for you.”

  “I’m all right.”

  “You’re my daughter. I should be protecting you.”

  They both remembered the truth in the same moment and Kallie looked away. She could feel her stomach twisting with guilt. What could she say now? That she’d known, and not said anything?

  “How long have you known?” her mother asked quietly.

  “Not…too long. A couple of weeks.” Kallie tried to meet her mother’s eyes, and wasn’t brave enough. “I met Petra, and…Dad explained.”

  She cursed herself the next moment. Her mother looked as if she had been slapped. She drew away, shoulders curving, and she shook her head when Kallie held out her arms for a hug. “I don’t…I can’t. I can’t talk about Jack.”

  “Mom, please—”

  “You don’t have to call me that.”

  “You are my mother.” Kallie met her eyes now, fiercely. “You raised me. I guess maybe Petra gave birth to me.”

  “You guess?” Her mother looked weary.

  “Everyone’s lying so much, it’s kind of hard to tell,” Kallie joked.

  Her mother laughed like she’d forgotten how, the sound coming rusty and disused from her throat, and Kallie remembered the quiet strain she’d seen for years in her mother’s movements. It had been a long time since she’d known a life without worry—and still, Kallie would give anything for it to be a few months ago, with just her father’s condition to worry about. Things hadn’t seemed simple then, but they truly had been.

  “But you raised me,” Kallie said quietly, firmly. “You were the one who was there when I skinned my knees. You taught me to read. You tried to get me to eat healthy and go to bed on time. Maybe…” Her throat closed, and she forced herself to continue. “Maybe you’re sad you didn’t get to have your own kids. You don’t have to say anything; you should just know I don’t blame you for that, okay? I can’t imagine what it’s like to wonder…” Her voice trailed off in an undignified squeak and she felt tears on her cheeks. “But I want you to know I’m glad you’re my mom.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Her mother folded her close, arms tight around Kallie’s back. “Oh, my love. I…I thought you would feel betrayed to know you hadn’t known your real mother.”

  “You are my real mother.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Blood doesn’t mean anything,” Kallie said finally. “She gave me up. She lost the right to call me her daughter.”

  “Kallie…” Her mother took her face in both hands and looked into her eyes, then took her hand to pull her gently to the couch. “Come sit. Listen to me… I’m so glad that I got to raise you. I wonder what sort of life I might have had if none of this had happened, but I don’t regret being your…mother…for a single moment. Even when you were two and you had those ear infections and you screamed all night, I loved you to pieces.”

  Kallie managed a watery laugh.

  “But don’t let what Petra is now make you bitter,” her mother said quietly.

  Kallie froze. “What?”

  “Don’t think that Petra gave you up because she didn’t want you. It’s an insult to you to think it, even if you don’t know that now, and it’s an insult to her, too.”

  “She—”

  “Did something that very likely saved your life, and your father’s, and mine. And I know,” she added, speaking over Kallie’s protest, “that she hurt you and him.”

  “She allowed him to be beaten and drained near death every month! She probably changed him and forced him to be a victim!”

  “I…” Her mother looked away. “I know I don’t know all of it. All I’m asking you to do is remember that she had a good reason for this once. It was a terrible thing that she did. She took away my life. She took away Jack’s life, I guess. But she did it to save all of us.”

  “She did it because she’s selfish,” Kallie said stubbornly. “It’s all about her. Not us. She was so determined to be a witch, and then she played the Blues against the Reds to see who could give her more, and we all paid the price! Well…maybe I didn’t—yet. But you and Dad did.”

  “Is he very angry?” her mother asked, her voice small. She shook her head immediately. “I don’t—I can’t talk about him. I’m sorry. Don’t answer that.”

  “He misses you,” Kallie said desperately.

  “Please.” Her mother sounded terrified. “I can’t…I can’t talk about him. But Petra…”

  “I don’t want to know. You can’t talk to Dad, but you want to…?” Kallie stood and stepped away. “Petra’s the cause of everything!” She glanced at Liam for help. He just shrugged helplessly.

  “You’re being unfair to her.”

  Kallie’s head swung back to her mother. “She tried to kill you!”

  “You don’t have to like that part,” her mother said patiently. “And I’m not blaming you, Kallie. You’ve never known her except like this. You never saw how she was before. You know old stories about gods, how sometimes they come to earth and they’re impossibly beautiful and just…larger than life?”

  “I guess.”

  “Petra was like that. All her life.” Kallie’s mother reached up and squeezed her fingers gently. “She was never meant for a normal existence, but we all thought that was all there was. When she started into witchcraft, I didn’t think anything would come of it. I was very harsh with her about it, and I’m not proud of that. She swore she could feel things beyond this world, and I said there was nothing there, that she was just deluding herself. I should have known that even if I didn’t believe in it, she needed something to believe in or she’d go mad. I guess I thought that if I indulged her, the fall would be that much worse later. I told her not to be silly, to live in the real world.”

  “You couldn’t have known.”

  “Perhaps not. But with a little more kindness…who knows what she would have become?” Her mother’s brow furrowed. “No one in the world was kind to her. Our parents didn’t understand her. She had a string of romances that fell apart. Her life with Jack…nearly fell apart, before she got pregnant. She needed me to be her friend, and I wasn’t there. Maybe that’s why she did it.”

  “Put you under a spell?”

  “No.” Kallie’s mother smiled, and this time there was bitterness there. “Why she released the spell.”

  “What?”

  “I felt it come free, you know. It was like a fog lifted. The whole world changed. I didn’t know where I was for a moment—it was like I was a young woman again, single. I was in this strange house; I could hear you and your dad downstairs. I didn’t know what was going on. And then the two parts came together. I thought I was going to go crazy…”

  “I wish I had known. I told her…I told her how much you meant to me. How much my father meant to me.”

  “Maybe that’s why, then. Petra was always vengeful. I’m sure she thought she got the better deal, dabbling in magic and being immortal, and I got to spend my life being a nurse and working every day and paying bills. But I think when she saw you and realized just what she had missed all those years…she was jealous.”

  Kallie paused. When she had taunted Petra, she’d only thought of her being possessive, claiming Kallie as her daughter when she hadn’t raised her. She hadn’t given a single thought to whether Petra might feel regret—or grief. She shook her head, trying hard to keep the sympathy away. “I don’t care.”

  “You should if she’s your captive,” her mother said drily. “Because it’ll color everything she does. And if you can’t recapture the woman she was meant to be instead of what she became…you’ll never be able to trust her.”

  “Trust her? You want me to trust her?” She stared at her mother in surprise. “I
just can’t…” Kallie shook her head. How the hell did her mother know they’d captured Petra? She could’ve been killed or taken off. She hadn’t mentioned anything—She shot a quick glance at Liam again. Maybe he’d told her. She drew in a deep breath and sighed, long and hard. Everything had been so complicated before, but this… this was beyond convoluted. “I don’t understand. How could she have been so beautiful and turn into what she is now?”

  “If the world hurts someone enough, anyone, they change. They’ll turn hard. Maybe emotionless. Maybe angry,” her mother said quietly. “I see people every day who have ruined themselves with drugs or drinking…”

  Kallie flinched, thinking of Lisa and Jeanna, but there was no way she was going to bring that up now. She gestured for her mother to go on.

  “Petra wanted to make the world over,” her mother told her. “She wanted to make a place for people like her. She was always running headfirst into things; she never wanted to bend even a little. You…well, you remind me of her.”

  “I’m nothing like her!” The words came out in a yell and Kallie saw her mother’s eyes widen. “She…said the same thing. And I’m not. I’m not like her. I won’t turn out like that.”

  “I know you won’t, love.” Her mother reached out to touch her shoulder, eyes worried. “I only meant to say you and she share good qualities. You’re very brave, and convincing. But you’re also incredibly sweet and kind. You win people over very easily to your side.”

  “How can you speak well of her?” Kallie demanded. “After everything? You turned yourself into a Blue so you could kill her, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” her mother admitted. “She has to be taken down. What she is, Kallie, is monstrous. I know that. I can still grieve for the woman she was, and the woman she could have been. I understand that it was her choices that led her here as much as anything, and none of it changes that she’s dangerous. But I want you to know…” Her voice quivered. “I want you to know who your birth mother was. Once. No matter how long ago. Even if that woman is gone.”

  “She’s gone,” Kallie hated saying the words, but she knew she had to. “There’s not a chance in hell to bring her back. You won’t convince her and neither can I.”

  Her mother bent her head, pressing her fist against her mouth, and Kallie wrapped her arms around her, rocking her back and forth as her mother sobbed for the sister she had lost, the husband who was never hers…and the blood she had given everything to spill.

  Chapter 6

  “Ow!” Kallie muttered a curse as yet another branch whacked her in the face. “Aren’t vampires supposed to be graceful or something?”

  “Graceful enough to be dancers, yes.” Liam looked over at her and raised his eyebrows. “Graceful enough not to get branches in the face in a dense forest, apparently not.”

  “I hate this,” she mumbled.

  “At least we’re close,” he said reassuringly. When he looked over to see the fear on her face, he sighed and stopped, pulling her close. “He’s going to be all right, Kallie.”

  She stared at him, frozen. Caleb occupied all her waking thoughts, though she never let herself think about him—not really. Her mind was in a constant tug of war, obsessed with the one thing she could not bear to contemplate. I left him, she wanted to say, and yet she couldn’t let herself speak the words.

  “Think about it from his side,” Liam said patiently. “Imagine you were Caleb and he was you. If it had been Caleb who could track Petra down, wouldn’t you have done the same in his place?” Liam’s voice was low and his eyes were mesmerizing.

  “Yes,” Kallie whispered. “And I wish I had.”

  “I don’t.” He shook his head when she recoiled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. But, Kallie, the thought of you there makes me wake up in a cold sweat.”

  “Him being there does the same to me!”

  “Caleb’s strong,” he reminded her.

  “And you’d rather have him out of the picture than me.” She couldn’t hide the anger from her voice. She also knew Caleb felt the same way as Liam did. Another freakin’ tug of war.

  “Yes. I don’t deny it. But, Kallie—he’s endured a lot in his time. He was right: they won’t kill him. For one thing, they’re probably hoping to turn him to their side. He’d be a powerful ally.” He squeezed her arms gently. “Come with me. The Blues… We’ll help you find a way to undo the war. When that’s over…everything will be simpler.”

  “Nothing ever gets simpler,” Kallie said in disgust, forging her way through the forest once more. “Not since the accident. It only ever gets more complicated, and worse.”

  “I’ll grant you that it’s gotten more complicated, but you’re helping. And I…”

  “What?” She looked over at him and frowned. “Something’s been bothering you for days. Something that isn’t the assault on the Red Dragon.” She paused. “My mother?”

  He looked a head, refusing to meet her gaze. “I can’t…you’ll see. You’ll see when we get there. Come on; here’s the entrance.”

  Frowning, Kallie let him precede her into the darkness, along rocks and dirt, and suddenly there was a space. Hidden and inconspicuous. Liam slipped through. Kallie hesitated and sniffed around before she glided in as well. The woods were not silent, for many animals were moving around, but there was no hint of other vampires. After the convoluted path they’d taken to get here, she was glad.

  There was a hole just inside the cave and she fell down, instantly gaining her balance as she dropped.

  She landed on the floor and her eyes glanced wildly around, making sure Liam was safe. He stood to the side to give her space to land.

  Her eyes went instantly to James. The man inclined his head, a faint, sardonic smile on his face. He clearly remembered their last altercation well, just as Kallie did, and it was clear that while he held no guilt over the fear he’d sparked, he did wonder if he had made a mistake.

  “If you’d just killed me when my back was turned, it could have been over.” She didn’t realize she’d spoken until the rest of the Blues swung their heads to look at her, horrified. They were all there standing in a circle around her.

  “Kallie…” Liam said nervously.

  But James laughed. He shook his head at the others, waving a hand at Liam to calm him. “She’s right. It’s what I was thinking.”

  “She’s on our side,” Liam said fiercely.

  “Kallie’s on her own side,” James said. There was no rancor in his voice. “It remains to be seen if that’s the same as ours. But I have no doubt she’s here to persuade us that it is.”

  Despite the situation, Kallie found herself smiling. James didn’t trust her, but then, why should he? And the truth was that, of all of them, he was the only one who had given her something, unlocking her powers, while not asking anything in return. She nodded. “You’re right.”

  “Very well, then. Tell us what it is you want.”

  “She wants to end the war,” Liam told them, “between the Reds and Blues.”

  The Blues murmured nervously.

  “I just want to end…” Kallie shook her head. “As James said, your dislike of one another wasn’t always there. It wasn’t always an instinct. That’s what I want to undo. It won’t fix the war on its own, I know that, but it will mean that the war doesn’t have to continue. It’ll mean that you can choose your allies. It’ll give you freedom.”

  They were silent for a moment, and then James said to Liam, “What have you done?”

  Liam’s head jerked up, and Kallie felt her hands clench.

  James stood peering at Liam. “Before anything else…what is it that you’re hiding?”

  Liam hesitated. When he spoke, his voice was low, but sure of itself. “I turned a woman.”

  James had him by the throat before Kallie could react. Liam was holding out a hand to keep her back, his eyes fixed on James’, and he was struggling not to fight back. A silent conversation ensued between the two of them, and Kallie could only
imagine what was being said. Suddenly James half-threw Liam away from himself in disgust.

  “He did it for me,” Kallie said unsteadily.

  “I can see that!” he shouted. “That doesn’t make it better, girl; it makes it worse. A vampire who can’t control himself, who takes irreversible actions for…for…” He turned away. “Go. Both of you.”

  “No.” Kallie stood her ground. She reached for Liam and pulled him behind her, thankful he didn’t resist. “I don’t know what he showed you, but—”

  “The memory of turning her!”

  “Then you don’t know why,” Kallie spat, “and you have to know that before you judge him. You know who I am, who my birth mother is. But my real mother, the woman who raised me, she’s been struggling for years to keep my father alive. She still loved him, don’t you see? She could never be with him, really, but she loved him more than life itself. And then a few days ago, she found out that he wasn’t even her husband, and I wasn’t her daughter.”

  “So she got herself turned?”

  “She got herself turned into a Blue. On purpose. Can’t you see?”

  “No,” James said shortly.

  “No? You can’t even guess why? It was to kill the person I think she loves most in the whole world: Petra. She went through with it, she got herself turned into a Blue, so she could end everything Petra started…so she wouldn’t have any chance of being swayed to Petra’s side.”

  James turned. He looked at both of them: Liam struggling with his inner turmoil, and Kallie standing between the two of them. “Is that true?”

  “It is,” Liam said hoarsely. “She said…she knew Kallie was a hybrid, but she’d have to sacrifice her marriage. By then she knew he hadn’t really married her, or had a kid with her. She was angry. I don’t know how. That wasn’t why she did it. She did it…to save both of them. She doesn’t expect to live long, but it was worth it to her to see Petra stopped. She didn’t have to know anything to guess how Petra turned out. Kallie’s right: she does still love Petra. That was why she had to be a Blue.”