Jackhammered
Page 41
In the preface of this memoir, I said, “On our life journey, we see right and wrong, good and evil, fair and foul, love and hate. Sometimes the path is easy to see, sometimes not. We struggle, we succeed, we err, and we go on. Eventually, we encounter an inescapable truth. We are not the center of the universe. Our destiny hinges upon acceptance of that truth.”
My path through life has been complicated, particularly in the early years, but I have had a great companion to help me find my way. There is still much to do and we are off in search of yet another adventure. It is our way. When we have done all we can, then and only then will it be time to say: “I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, and I have kept the faith.”
EPILOGUE
Pearls do not lie on the seashore.
If you desire one, you must dive for it.
Oriental Proverb
I began this memoir thinking it would end with telling about our granddaughters and our fiftieth wedding anniversary. That is how life usually works, but my life is nothing if not unusual.
In August of 1915, the Black River crested at 27.9 feet, flooding the bottomlands in and around Pocahontas—my mother was five going on six years old and her brother, Little Gerle, was four.
The 1915 flood was the worst until April 28, 2011 when the Black River rose to the highest level she has ever reached, 28.4 feet. The recurring floods bear witness that we, like those who came before, are forever vulnerable to the natural forces, a lesson I have learned and relearned when sailing on the high seas.
I have been back to Pocahontas many times since graduating from high school in 1953, and I was there again in 2011 to see old friends. When I am there, I always go down to the river—for old times’ sake. The town has changed over the years but the river is unchanged. She is, as she has always been, a source of prosperity as well as devastation. She brought the settlers and the steamboats and yielded the fish and mussels that supported the River Rats and the button factory. She has provided irrigation for the farmers and water for the people and days of pleasure when she behaves. Her mystique draws me close.
When I stand in my favorite spot on the bank of the river down from the town square, I always think of Toni, the River Rat girl who was my friend when I was a little boy. She was a good girl, smart and tenderhearted. I think of the times we sat on the side of her tarpapered houseboat, our bare feet dangling in the current, our heels rubbing up against the mossy scum on the side of the boat. More than sixty-five years have passed since Toni told me about the River Rat who found a pearl worth $500. She said, “That-un got him and his’n off the river.” It was her dream that she would one day find a big, well-shaped Black River pearl, a windfall that would change her life.
I do not know if Toni ever found her pearl because I never saw her after she and the other River Rats moved on, but I remember the determined look in her eyes when she said, “We’re not ‘bout to quit lookin’, or give up.” I know she kept trying to find a big pearl, but I wonder if she found God, a bigger prize. I hope she found both, but if she only found one, I pray it was God.
Since finishing my memoir, I have thought a lot about my adventures and the good things that have happened to me and I have wondered why blessings come to those who are undeserving.
There is no logic to it, at least in this world. If I had gotten what I deserved, my life would have been dramatically different. The only possible explanation is that God keeps the door open for everyone, and He gets a real kick out of it when those who are flawed find their way into His Kingdom.
The Good Book says it like this: “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Ephesians 2:8 NLT I believe He wants me, having finally surrendered my will to his, to learn and grow, and be a good witness to others who need help and are still searching for it. He does not want me, or Lana, or anyone to stop or slow down.
There is plenty to do—there is always plenty to do. Our nation is facing severe economic and political challenges that will affect life at home and abroad. There are young people and troubled grownups hungry for counsel and guidance from those of us who have been through the crucible. Our children and grandchildren and the generations to come will live in a world where the culture changes day by day. These challenges call for the best we have to offer and we must face them as adventures, not inconveniences.
Stories do not end until you close the book, and life does not end until you are unable or unwilling to accept the next challenge, the next adventure. God wants all of us to keep looking for the big pearl, but He wants us to do it His way.
Table of Contents
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT PAGE
PREFACE
HARD HEADS: THE VERMILYE WAY
SOFT HEARTS: THE BETHUNE WAY
HARD HEAD MEETS SOFT HEART
FAMILY LIFE BEFORE THE TROUBLES
SEPARATION, THEN DIVORCE
LIFE WITHOUT DADDY
MY VERY SECRET STRUGGLE
SINKING, SINKING
NEW TOWN, NEW LIFE
OFF TO COLLEGE AND OUT OF COLLEGE
SEMPER FIDELIS
HOME, COLLEGE, AND LANA
ATTORNEY AT LAW
SPECIAL AGENT OF THE FBI
ARKANSAS LAWYER, ARKANSAS REPUBLICAN
DEFEAT, DOUBT, AND SUCCESS
HIGH PROFILE CASES
ALMOST A JUDGE
RUNNING FOR CONGRESS
POST ELECTION FUNK, THANKS ABE
CONGRESSMAN BETHUNE
FIRST DAYS, FIRST ISSUES
TROUBLE ON THE POTOMAC
SAVED BY SAILING
SAVED IN ANOTHER WAY
THE 1980 CONVENTION, MY HIGH WATER MARK
1980 ELECTION, REAGAN INAUGRAL
SUPPORTING DEMOCRATS FOR JUSTICE DEPARTMENT
JACK KEMP, SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMICS
THE REAGAN AGENDA
RACE AND CIVIL RIGHTS
CONSERVATION AND WILDERNESS
POLAND AND THE POPE
CHEMICAL WEAPONS
THE PAGE SCANDAL
CHINA THEN, CHINA NOW
BLUE WATER DREAM REALIZED
JIM WATT RESIGNATION
CONCERNS ABOUT OUR SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT
RUNNING FOR THE SENATE
SAILING AWAY
HOME AGAIN, LAWYER AGAIN
BACK TO WASHINGTON, LANA SHINES
LAWYERING FOR NEWT
THE CALL OF THE SEA, AGAIN
GETTING UNDERWAY
GETTING INTO TROUBLE
GETTING OUT OF TROUBLE
OUR NEW PLAN, BACKPACKING IN EUROPE
GOING HOME TO SEARCY
MOTHER
FAMILY HAPPY, FAMILY SAD
POLITICAL UPHEAVAL AND GRANDDAUGHTERS
ANOTHER NEW CAREER
THE GOLDEN YEARS
EPILOGUE