by Moira Rogers
He lifted a hand to her cheek. “I told you I’d be here if you needed me.”
He had. He’d promised, after he’d saved her from Alan Matthews, that he’d never let anyone hurt her again. Except he couldn’t have promised her that, because he was rescuing her now—
Her brain stumbled over the logical inconsistencies and came to the proper conclusion: this was a dream. Hard on the heels of that realization came a second one—that Joe’s hand was warm against her skin and his fingers felt so, so perfect as he stroked her tangled hair back from her face.
Lucidity slipped through her fingers again as she launched herself into his arms with a relieved noise. He caught her with a soft growl and nuzzled her ear as his arm slid around her waist, drawing her closer. His nose grazed her cheek and his mouth landed on hers, demanding and coaxing at the same time. It had to be the first time he’d kissed her, because she never would have forgotten the way her body melted as his tongue urged her lips apart.
But if it was the first time, how could he know everything to do, everything that would make her body come to life? He kissed her within an inch of her sanity, hands roaming her back and hips, finally drifting down to cup her ass and lift her closer.
Warm hands skated over skin as clothing disappeared, but it was the incongruity of being lowered to a soft mattress that tripped her brain this time. Some part of her whimpered in protest as the dream unraveled, dissolving even as she clung desperately to it.
She woke up in Joe’s bedroom—in Joe’s bed, flushed and confused and breathing too fast. A floorboard creaked and she bolted upright, her gaze landing on Joe. He hovered just inside the room, his fingers still wrapped around the doorknob. Oh dear God, please don’t let me talk in my sleep…
He stared at her in silence for a moment and tilted his head. “Nightmare?”
“Sort of.” She dropped back to the pillow and covered her face with her hands. “Started out that way. But hey, it went away on its own, so that’s a sign of progress, right?” She couldn’t stop the words from tumbling over her tongue, though she knew her nervous babbling was anything but subtle.
“Want me to sit with you for a while?”
She almost told him no, but it would have been a lie. A stupid, pointless lie. Her subconscious, at least, had already decided who made her feel safe, and there was no use fighting it. “That’d be nice, if you don’t mind.”
He walked in. She could hear the television playing softly in the living room as Joe sat on the edge of the bed. “That guy again? Pierce?”
“Yeah.” Joe had saved her, that much of the dream had held truth. But there had been no romance, no joy, just gut-wrenching shock as blood spattered her clothing and Pierce slumped to the floor with half his face missing.
That was the last thing she remembered. On the rare occasion she tried to think back, all she could come up with was the vague impression of Joe’s arms around her and the sound of explosions. The next clear memory she had was of being in a motel in Red Rock, cradled against Joe’s chest as a doctor tended to Abby’s wounds.
Brynn dropped her hands to the bed and met Joe’s eyes. “I don’t really remember it. What happened, I mean, after you shot him. Some of the stuff up to that point’s a little blurry, but after that… It’s like a big blank nothing.”
“Good.” He scooted closer. “Sometimes, your brain figures that’s for the best.”
“Yeah?” She closed her eyes and rubbed lightly at the side of her head. “Well, tell my brain it’s creepy and to stop trying to make up things that happened next.”
His hand brushed her leg. “What does it make up?”
“Usually some fairly awful stuff.” She managed a half smile and moved her hand to rest over his. “You were very heroic tonight, though. Even more so than usual.”
Joe grinned wickedly as he turned his hand and wrapped his fingers around hers. “I must have been. You sounded like you were having fun.”
Of course he could tell. There was no privacy in a town full of werewolves. Maybe she should have blushed, but she was too busy being relieved by the fact that he didn’t seem to mind. Yes, because what you need right now, in the middle of everything, is a crush.
Or maybe it was exactly what she needed, if only to keep her from drowning in futile misery. She tightened her fingers and tugged slightly. “It’s rude to use your werewolf superpowers against me, you know. Or rude to admit it.”
“Rude, maybe.” He reached up with his free hand and brushed her hair back. “But I just wanted to see you smile.”
“It’s nice to smile.” Weird, maybe, but her lips curved up. “It’s been a couple weeks since there was much to smile about.”
“Still not much,” he admitted. “But sometimes it’s all you can do.”
She let her thumb play over his fingers as she watched his face. “So if I go through with this, and if I ask Cindy to be my Guide…” She hesitated, then ignored her nervousness and pushed on. “Are there rules about me not getting involved with other people?”
He stared at her for a long moment before answering. “Usually, if a Guide and an Initiate don’t plan on getting intimate or there’s someone else in the picture, they forego the bonding. It’s easier that way, if they can get away with it. So no, nothing to keep you from seeing someone else.”
“Okay. Good.” Sitting brought her so close that she had to tilt back her head to look at him. She didn’t release his hand, just kept her fingers around his as she went for broke. “Because I was thinking…getting involved with someone is a crappy idea right now, but I’m sort of miserable, and you’re sort of hot. I wouldn’t say no to a little bit of irresponsible sex in between lessons in defending myself, if you were willing.”
He didn’t react as though her words surprised him. Instead, his hand tensed under hers. “Brynn, you’ve been through a ton of shit here recently. I’m not going to say that you don’t make a very good point, but I don’t know if I’m the guy for this. I really don’t.”
It was supposed to be casual, so the fact that it hurt to be rejected, even gently and obliquely, surprised her. The question escaped before she realized she’d spoken. “Why?”
“Because.” He kissed her fingers, his breath blowing hot over her skin. “I’m already past irresponsible sex here.”
“Oh.” She swallowed and fought the urge to shift closer. Careful, Brynn. Careful. She liked Joe. She liked Joe a lot, in ways that weren’t casual at all. But she couldn’t tell for sure, not when her life was tumbling end over end. Brynn had spent the last seven years carefully planning everything, researching all possible outcomes and taking action only when she was confident she’d made the right decision.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something just because it felt right. Because it would be fun. Probably the last time I did something stupid and had to watch Abby clean up after it. Would Abby be cleaning up after this mess?
And do I care?
He leaned closer and feathered his lips over her cheek. “Good night, Brynn.” There was no time left. He’d get up and walk out if she didn’t stop him.
So she blurted out, “I already like you way too much.” The words sounded so much stupider out loud than they had in her mind, so she turned her head and caught his lips in an off-center, awkward kiss.
His lips were warm and soft against the corner of her mouth. He slid them over hers, quick and gentle, in a kiss that cajoled rather than dominated. It was nothing like the hip-grinding, tongue-tangling kiss of her dream, but it set her heart to racing just the same.
His hand crept up her arm and slipped around the back of her neck, drawing her closer. He held himself rigidly, almost trembling, as he eased past her lips and touched her tongue with his.
A moan rose in Brynn’s throat, and her patience broke. She lifted her hands to the back of his head and whimpered as she curled her tongue around his. Joe growled in answer and kissed her harder, his teeth scoring her lip.
A moment later, h
e broke the kiss, groaning against her cheek. “Bad. Bad, bad idea.”
“Really?” She inhaled his scent, an odd mix of the woods and plain soap and something sharp and metallic that reminded her of the long-ago afternoon she’d spent at the firing range. “It feels good. Great, even.”
“Doesn’t make it a good idea.” His eyes opened slowly as he leaned back to stare at her. “You’re going through some stuff right now, Brynn.”
“I know.” Her hands shook as she dropped them to her lap. “You’ve got responsibilities that have nothing to do with me. The summit, and the visitors…”
“Just for starters.” He started to reach for her hand, but clenched his fingers around the blanket instead. “If we have sex, it wouldn’t be simple and uncomplicated. You know that, right?”
She opened her mouth to agree, then shut it again and tilted her head to the side. If it had been a man in front of her—a normal man, and not a werewolf—the question would have been easy to answer. But this… She cleared her throat. “Is this something that has to do with you being a werewolf? Because if there are special rules for that…” Oh Jesus.
One eyebrow shot up. “Not really. Sometimes there are conflicting instincts, but that wasn’t what I meant.”
Thank God. “Then yeah. I get it. And I get if you want to wait, or find someone less likely to have an emotional breakdown on you, because I’m still not strictly ruling that out.”
Joe frowned. “I’m not explaining myself very well.”
Of course he wasn’t. She wasn’t giving him a chance to explain himself, because she didn’t want to hear the answer. She didn’t want him to leave. Guilt made her choke down another reply. “I’m not helping much.”
He answered her weak smile with one of his own and nodded to the bed. “Want me to stick around for a while? In case you start dreaming again?”
Brynn laughed. She couldn’t help it. “You really want to be in here if I start dreaming about making out with you again? Because I don’t know if that’ll make things less complicated.”
His cheeks darkened. “I meant if you had another nightmare, but I see your point.” He stood, but stopped by the door. “Call if you need me.”
She wanted to stop him, to ask him what in hell was going on between them, but he was obviously in full retreat. Whatever intricacies he’d failed to explain would have to remain a mystery. It’s not as if I don’t have enough to worry about.
It didn’t make her smile any less wistful as she sank back into the pillows and closed her eyes. “Thanks, Joe.”
“You’re welcome, Brynn.”
Chapter Four
Joe rubbed his hands over his eyes and groaned. “You can’t be afraid of them, Brynn. You’re never going to develop any sort of decent accuracy if you close your eyes and flinch every time you fire.”
“I’m not afraid of the guns,” she protested, not for the first time. “It’s just the noise.”
“I know it’s loud.” He took the pistol from her hands and ejected the magazine. “For routine target practice, you’d be wearing ear protection. But you need to get used to how loud these things can be.” A fresh magazine slid into the butt of the pistol with a click. “Bad guys don’t stop for you to pop in your earplugs.”
For a second he thought she’d protest, but she just rubbed at her wrist and sighed. “Okay. Okay, I’ll try.”
He engaged the safety and laid the gun on the picnic table, then reached for her arm. “Are your wrists getting sore?” He’d suggested a two-handed grip, but even strong muscles needed time to adjust to the repeated abuse of a recoiling handgun. “I think we’re done for today.”
“We passed sore a while back. Now I sort of just hurt.”
“You should have told me.” He rubbed at her hands. “You need to take it easy.”
Brynn curled her fingers toward her palms and sighed. “Not really. I need to learn.”
“Not all of it is shooting at targets, either.” He must have hit a sore spot, because she winced. A wave of protectiveness washed over him, and he gritted his teeth. “I think you might have sprained this wrist.”
“Great.” She sounded like she was squeezing the words out between clenched teeth. “Is that common, or am I just that pathetic?”
It shouldn’t have happened, and probably wouldn’t have, if he’d kept closer watch on her grip and corrected it. “It’s not uncommon.” He glanced at his watch with a grimace. “I have to take you over to Keith and Abby’s now, though. Keith and I have a meeting at Gavin’s.”
She nodded and smiled, but it didn’t take a genius to read the frustration and fear in the dejected set of her shoulders and tight look in her eyes. “I can wrap this and try again tomorrow, right?”
“I have an elastic bandage in the medicine cabinet. I’ll take care of it before I drive you over.” He sat on the closest bench. “Are you going to make it?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She looked almost hesitant as she moved to sit next to him. “I just—I want to know I can do this. I think it’ll make it easier.”
“You want to know you can do what? Handle a gun?”
“Shoot it.” Her fingers wrapped around her wrist and she closed her eyes. “I guess shoot someone. The idea still makes me a little sick, but not as sick as the alternative.”
That was what it usually amounted to—you or them. “I met Keith before I became a wolf. Did you know that? We were in the army together.”
“I didn’t. How long were you in the army for?”
“Fifteen years.” It seemed like such a long time ago. “We were Special Forces. We joined up at the same time, and they stuck us in the same training unit.”
That made her eyes pop open, and she studied him with a frown. “You don’t look old enough to have been in the army for fifteen years.”
He nudged her leg with his and grinned to cover his sudden self-consciousness. “I’m forty-five. Try not to make me feel too bad about it.”
Brynn blinked at him before her eyes went alarmingly wide. “Wait, wait—Abby said that Gavin was, like, a hundred or something. Was she serious?”
“He’s about a hundred and twenty, actually.” Joe rubbed his chin. He needed to shave again. “I’ve been a werewolf for ten years now, and I haven’t aged all that much. I guess you could file that in the ‘pro’ column.”
“I guess so.” She sounded dazed. “Wow. Well, Gavin’s the hottest hundred-and-twenty-year-old I’ve ever met.”
Joe laughed. “I’m sure Keith is the hottest fifty-year-old you’ve met too.”
She looked like she was going to choke. “Yeah, I’d say so.”
Brynn sounded more disturbed than anything else, and the thread of jealousy he’d barely been aware of eased. “Don’t knock it. If you decide to really do this thing, you could look like Samantha at sixty.”
“Huh. I hadn’t really thought about it.” She shrugged and leaned against his side, and the bare skin of her arm below her sleeve brushed against him, making the hair on the back of his neck rise. “I’ve been trying not to think until I talk to Gavin later.”
“Makes sense.” He wanted to wrap an arm around her shoulders and draw her closer. Instead, he stood. “Ready to get that wrist taken care of?”
She rose as well. “Yeah. Maybe get a couple ibuprofen.”
It only took him a minute to find the bandage and wind it around her impossibly delicate wrist. It had already started to swell, and Joe dragged his eyes away from the pale column of her throat as she swallowed two tablets from the bottle he’d bought just for her. Keep your brain out of your pants, Mitchell, he warned himself silently as he leaned against the tile wall of the bathroom. “It’ll hurt for a few days, if I remember correctly. So we’ll take it easy.”
“Shit. I don’t have time to take it easy, Joe.” Her fingers ghosted over the bandage, and her face looked tight. “Someone could show up again tomorrow. Someone could show up today while you’re all busy. I’m not safe like this, and Abby’s
going to get herself killed trying to protect her helpless sister.”
“Keith won’t let that happen. He’s going to have other enforcers watching his house today. You’ll be safe.”
“I’ll be safe,” she agreed, though she didn’t sound particularly sure. “Should we go now?”
“Yeah, come on.” Joe led her through the house and his truck. He was getting used to having her around, and he didn’t find the prospect of dropping her off very appealing.
Which just meant he had to do it, because he was growing more attached to her every minute.
He didn’t speak again until the truck rumbled to a stop in front of Keith’s house. “Tell Abby I said hi, okay?”
“Sure. Thanks for the lesson, and for everything else.” She pushed the truck door open. “I’ll see you after the meeting?”
“I’ll be back here to drop Keith off and pick you up,” he promised.
“Okay. Good.” She hovered for a few seconds more, then leaned over and brushed her lips over his cheek in a soft kiss that warmed his skin and stole his breath.
He watched as she made her way up the walk. The door opened and Abby stepped out, Keith close at her heels. He smiled down at Brynn and kissed the top of Abby’s head before striding toward the truck.
The women had disappeared inside by the time Keith climbed into the seat Brynn had vacated. He took one look at Joe’s face and groaned. “So much for you not being an idiot.”
“Hey.” Joe fought a snarl. “Shut up. I’ve kept my hands to myself.” Mostly.
“Uh-huh.” Keith closed his eyes as he leaned back against the seat. “Gavin says she’s going to petition him to make the transformation. Sam was worried there was something romantic going on, but I told her you were the last person who’d encourage that sort of shit. Please tell me I’m right.”
“You’re right.” Joe pointed the truck toward the alphas’ house, riding the accelerator a little harder than usual. The faster he got out of this conversation, the better. “How’s Abby holding up?”