Unmarked: Sean's Story (Chosen #4)

by Alisa Mullen

  I would enjoy her again and again - right after I got rid of my over inflated ego.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sean

  It was a fast drop off because I had to get back to Newburyport to work and traffic on Sunday evening was a bitch. People were obviously already starting to vacation in the White Mountains or the beaches in Maine.

  We didn’t say much to one another on the ride back into the city. I was nervous that I wouldn’t make it back in time and she… well, I don’t know what the hell she was thinking. After breakfast, we took a shower individually and then we went for a walk on the beach. It was a bit colder today than it had been so I hugged her most of the time. Every time I offered to turn around and walk back to the truck, she shook her head and snuggled into me more. She wanted me. Every once in a while, at the beach and in the truck, I caught her staring at me with her lips parted, like she was thinking of what I had done to her sweet body the day before.

  Damn and didn’t that make me horny as fuck?

  I deposited a card table and two fold up chairs in her kitchen so she had a place to sit in the morning or whenever since she didn’t have a chair at all. I was still shaking my head about that as I gave her a very sweet, very short kiss goodbye.

  “See ya tomorrow then?” she asked. Her fingers found that fidgety movement again. I didn’t want to leave.

  “Yes. I should be here about six o’clock. Will you be ready for me?” I smirked at her while I grabbed her cute, little ass.

  She giggled into my chest and pushed me out the door.

  Two traffic lights into my ride back and I missed her already. I was such a pussy. Over two days, I went from cynic asshole with the biggest chip on his shoulder to a guy who would probably sing along to Wilson Phillips if it were on the radio. And yeah, I checked for something romantic because even though Aoife had just been in the truck, I felt so lonely. The metal music just wasn’t doing it for me and that in itself pissed me right the fuck off.

  The Ink Shop was blessedly steady that night. I worked straight from around seven until midnight. I drove home in the pitch dark with my window open, smelling the season’s change, and wondered how Aoife was sleeping without me. I cursed myself once again for not getting her phone number or even a regular phone that had unlimited minutes before I dropped her off.

  Todd was on the couch when I walked in.

  “Hey, man,” I sighed as I threw my keys on the side table next to the door.

  “Irish called about a half an hour ago,” he said, wiggling his fingers towards the phone in the kitchen.

  My heart jumped out of my chest. She was thinking of me, too? I was so fucking thrilled and I had to look like I honestly didn’t care to my roommate who was eyeing my reaction very carefully. Fucker.

  “What did she say?” I asked hurriedly as I ran my hand through my hair.

  “Not much. She is hard to understand.” He wrinkled his face. “She did say she bought more phone minutes and left the number. It’s on the pizza box from last night.”

  I didn’t run. I didn’t jog. I didn’t sprint. No. I fucking skipped in to the kitchen and wildly took stock of the whole kitchen, searching for the pizza box. I heard Todd’s laughter. Fuck him.

  I scooped the pizza box up and briskly walked down to my room. Before I took anything off or used the bathroom, which I painfully needed, I dialed those beautiful new eleven numbers that would be placed in the crowned spot of one. First place. Winner. Score.

  “Hello?” Her voice was gorgeous when she was sleepy.

  “Hi, beautiful. Did I wake you?” I smiled as I listened to her yawn. I would piss myself just to hear her breathe.

  Yep. I was done. Stick a fork in me and call me ready. Aoife? Order up. I was yours. All yours

  “Not quite. I miss you already, Sean.” She sounded almost shocked to say it and I nearly fell back on the floor in relief. I wasn’t the only one and thank fuck for that. Being without her for one night was wrecking me and if it had been one sided – I would have considered therapy for obsessive behavior towards the opposite sex. Two women, in particular. This was nearly getting out of hand.

  I looked at my watch. “Do you want me to come to your place now?” A shot of adrenaline spiked through my body as it went into urgent mode. I could make it there by two. I could hold her for a few hours and then she could work and I could do stuff.

  “Oh, God, Sean, no. I need to go to bed. I just wanted to tell ya that. I miss you,” she declared again.

  “Babe, I miss you, too. You are on my mind like,” I flicked out my arm. “Like all the damn time.”

  Her answering giggle made me smile so wide, my face friggin’ hurt. I rubbed at the back of my neck and tried to figure out the right words to say so that we both could sleep well and be confident in our feelings towards one another. No matter what my mother did in her life, she always told me that nothing should be left unsaid before you lay your head down to the pillow.

  I never understood her advice until now and it made me long for the woman that she used to be. I wanted my confident, smart, and brilliant mother back; but that person had died a long while ago. I had to hold on to her words for comfort and for some unknown reason, she was on my mind a lot more these days since Aoife came into my life.

  “So I will see you at six tomorrow night, then?” she confirmed, yawning again.

  “Yes. I will be there and I am so excited to hug you, kiss you, and do naughty things to you.” Trying to keep it light, I smoothed out my voice to give her comfort. I needed her to know that although I wasn’t there in body, I was there with her in all other ways.

  Her giggle was a little huskier, making me grow hard. I hated that I couldn’t reach through the phone and grab her face with my hands. I wanted her lips for one long sensual minute.

  How would I ever let her face go back to Ireland? This was stupid. I was being so fucking delusional.

  “Okay, I will see you then,” I said and let out a huge exhale.

  “Okay. Good night, Sean,” she hummed.

  “Good night, Irish,” I whispered back.

  I clicked off the phone and felt like shit. I was conflicted and it took me all night to figure out that I was so screwed. Now that she wasn’t sleeping right next to me and distracting me with her looks of longing, I put our weekend into perspective. Aoife hid things. She had hard core secrets that I don’t think she would even tell God during prayers. Despite that, Aoife’s involuntarily moans were sounds that were meant for my ears only. She packed my chest with satisfaction when she gazed at me with that needy look. She was leaving. She was leaving me.

  It was black and white with lots of gray drops of “what if’s” melted in the middle. I had no answer. Therefore, I decided to practice what those twelve step programs teach and focus on one day at a time. Thinking about what we would do next time we saw each other was less painful – or anxiety riddled – than thinking about what we wouldn’t do three months from now. In a little more than fourteen hours from now, I would be having dinner with Aoife. In a little more than three months from now, I had no clue what I would be doing. That was what fucking scared me the most.

  As I finally fell asleep, I remembered that I had been living with heart ache for so many years that my body was accustomed to the blows. Meaningless one night stands temporarily alleviated the sting. Despite knowing that, I would do it all over again for one more night with Aoife. Hell yes, I would live in that pain all over again forever.

  The next morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee and immediately wondered if it was Aoife making it. I turned over to see that I had left the side of the bed she slept on completely undisturbed. I put my face into her pillow and inhaled. It didn’t really smell like her – yet. That was a giant disappointment that needed to be rectified soon. I stretched in bed and thought about giving my morning hard on some attention. “No,” I thought. Aoife. I would be seeing her in a few hours and I needed to be totally in it for her.

  I wondered how her
day was going when I looked at the clock and saw it was just after noon. Did she get a lunch break? Would she call me on it? I was acting like a clingy and obsessed woman. I scrubbed my hands over my face and groaned. I thought about the other night, walking hand in hand down River Street and how she had stopped at that karate place. I sat up instantly and grabbed my iPad.

  I searched Martial Arts in Boston, Massachusetts. Holy mother of the baby Jesus. “Popular” was the poorest word I could use to describe MMA to Aoife. There were at least three hundred schools, academies, gyms, studios, and whatever else you want. And the type? What type of karate did she want to do? I searched karate for women and totally balked when I saw a photo of a woman twisting a guy’s junk while he looked like he was in pure agony. My hard on officially was gone.

  I narrowed my search to some place close to her apartment in case I had to work one of the nights. She would still go without me. The Maverick Academy of Martial Arts was so close, she could spell the alphabet once while she walked and be there.

  I dialed the number they listed on the website and sighed.

  “Maverick’s Academy of Martial Arts, this is Jenny, how can I help you?”

  “Good morning, Jenny. My name is Sean Ford. My girl… my friend and I want to take some beginning karate classes at your school. Can you hook us up?”

  “When do you guys want to start?” Jenny’s flirty tone went up by 500 decibels and I inwardly chuckled. Do people still flirt over the phone and if so, why? It wasn’t like we were on our way out to a date. It was a simple phone conversation – a professional one – especially since she was the one running the business line. Maybe Jenny was the reason why guys took karate. If her voice was any indication of her looks and I was single, I would probably be a regular. I pocketed that observation for later and wondered if it would work for the shop while I went on to explain Aoife and my need to take a class.

  “Uh. I suppose we would like to begin as soon as possible but we don’t know what type of karate we should take.” I said, feeling absolutely ridiculous for knowing nothing about karate. I was a guy. Shouldn’t all guys know something about it? I loved the Red Sox, Bruins, and the Patriots. I watched most of the games. I placed bets on some of them. Not to mention that I owned a dozen New England shirts and hats but I wasn’t ever a member of anything sport related. Art was always my thing. Art and girls. Girls were a sport. I chuckled a little at my own joke.

  “Well, Sean. We do have a beginner Kenpo Karate course actually starting tonight. They meet three times a week for six weeks. If you like it and want to continue, you can be tested into another class. If you don’t like it, you can always try one of the other methods we teach. However, this is the only one that starts soon and it will give you an idea about fast movement and how to use your body weight to attack your opponent.”

  Damn right, I wanted to attack my opponent. I wanted to attack her tits all night long. I thought about Aoife’s breasts for a few moments. Would they look hot in a sports bra? Should I go buy her a workout outfit?

  “Yeah, yeah. That sounds perfect. What time should we be there?” I asked, grabbing a pen from the floor. Writing seven o’clock on the palm of my hand, I gave Jenny our names and phone numbers. I had already memorized Aoife’s. God, I hope she wouldn’t be mad if we did this first and then went out for dinner.

  When I clicked off the phone, I had second thoughts about everything, and I mean everything. Was I going too fast? No, she had asked to do this. Should I have asked her if she wanted to go before I confirmed? No, she is working and needs to focus on that.

  I called The Ink Shop and told them that for the next six weeks, my days off would be Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. They could take any new appointments but my regulars needed to be moved around. Clove wasn’t very happy about it. She never liked having to actually arrange anything. She was damn good at her job seventy-five percent of the time but when her and her man were fighting, she just sat there and texted. It sounded like I had caught her mid-text.

  Whatever.

  “Just do it, okay?” I said exasperated. I never lost my cool with her but her tired old bull shit fights were starting to piss me off. I had shit days all the time and I still suited up and showed up, even putting that ass eating grin on my face to say how very lucky I was to have a job that I loved. She was replaceable if she was going to fuck with the owner and manager and in that moment, I let her know who was boss.

  “Shit, Sean. Who is she?” Clove asked.

  “Who’s who?” I questioned.

  “The girl that crawled under your skin and made you hotheaded,” she stated with absolution.

  I shook my head. No way. Na-ah. I was not telling Clove about Aoife. I would not let people see that she was my girl now and in months, she wouldn’t be my girl for one reason only.

  The Atlantic Ocean. Didn’t someone once mention that they were going to build a bridge? Underground tunnel? I thought about the Big Dig and cringed.

  “No chick, Clove. Just change it up. I am taking some martial arts classes.” I left it at that and clicked off.

  Several hours later, I had a queen sized mattress with a bedding set and an old dresser I found in our attic loaded up in the truck. I packed for a few nights and made sure to bring extra tee shirts with me for after our Kenpo sessions. I was actually excited to see what it was all about. I was totally excited to do it with Aoife. She would kiss ass at karate and I couldn’t wait to watch her in training.

  Driving up to Aoife’s apartment, I could hardly contain my excitement until I drove by her place to find a parking spot. The car’s horn behind me steadily blared at me and not even that annoying sound made Aoife turn from looking into Freddie’s eyes as he held her. My heart started to beat at an obscene rate and my short breaths were keeping me from making any logical driving decisions. I pulled up on the side of the road about three blocks from her apartment and double parked. Pulling up the emergency brake with more force than necessary, I contemplated what to do.

  Why the fucking hell would Freddie be holding my girl outside her apartment when she knew I was going to be here? I looked at the dashboard clock and yes, I was a few minutes early but still. She knew I would be able to see her if I was driving passed. I thought back to when Lizzie explained that she walked into a bar – not too far from here actually – and saw the man she fell in love with basically groping the girl he would eventually marry. Son of a bitch.

  Maybe the night of Lizzie’s party, Aoife was actually with Freddie and they were having a fight? Is that why Lizzie had called to warn me? Aoife and Freddie were together and she got back at him by taking off with me for a few frivolous days of fucking. Nice. I smashed my hands against the steering wheel and threw my head back on my head rest.

  I fumbled with the iPod and put on Fade to Black by Metallica. It was my go-to song for the “my life blows” mood that I seemed to find myself in regularly. I didn’t know what to do. I had made plans. I had to see her and at least tell her that the classes were available if she wanted to go. I had to at least tell her she fucked with my head and I had to thank her for being one more woman in my life to fucking destroy all hopes for trust and loyalty.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sean

  I found a parking spot about twenty minutes later. I didn’t grab the mattress or the dresser. I didn’t grab my duffle bag. I threw my phone and keys in one pocket, my wallet in my back pocket, and lit a smoke as I got out of the truck. Slamming the truck’s door didn’t help calm my nerves.

  As I walked closer to Aoife’s house, I steeled myself and made sure my blank face was steady and holding. When I got to her door, I fully expected Freddie to be nearby or at the very least the one to answer her door after I rang the buzzer.

  Nope. Aoife came out to open the door and through the window in the door, I saw her brilliant smile cross her entire face. She was genuinely happy to see me. I didn’t react on the outside but Jesus if that smile didn’t twist the knife in my chest.

/>   “Hello,” she nearly squealed when she threw herself full force at my torso. I grabbed her so I wouldn’t fall back.

  “Hey, Aoife.” Bland. Blank. No feeling. You got this, Sean.

  She pulled away from my rigid hold and frowned up into my eyes.

  “Something is wrong,” she recognized.

  I shrugged. Taking another drag off of my smoke, I made my eyes run up and down the street, like I was looking for something. I was definitely looking for someone. How did Freddie get away so fast? I watched the T ramble by on the next street over and realized he was probably on it, heading back to his place.

  “Sean?” Her voice was trembling. It made me cut my eyes to her fast. She looked scared, almost petrified. Was I coming off as too much of a dick?

  I flicked my cigarette and took another drag, blowing the smoke to the side of her face. She wouldn’t see the pain that was buried behind my eyes, locked and waiting to burst. I had to get out of this confrontation. Aoife’s stinging expressions made me second guess what I knew was right and, most importantly, why I was furious with her to begin with.

  “I looked into karate classes for you. I can’t make it, but tonight is the first night of the six week course. It’s called Kenpo Karate. It sounds like something you would like,” I suggested but my eyes couldn’t meet hers. I wanted to go. I wanted to watch her punch something. I wanted…well, her.

  “You won’t come with me?” She asked, as her eyes toggled back and forth on mine. I could feel her anxiety pouring off her body as I realized she was clenching her fists.

  I shook my head side to side slowly and assuredly.

  “I…uh, came to take you, but The Ink Shop called. I figured I would come and give you the information to go, since I was already half way here.” I pulled out the piece of paper I had written the name and the address of the Academy on and handed it to her.

  “You should go, though. They are expecting – uh, you. They have your name down and everything so…” I trailed off.