by Rachael Wade
She’s sound asleep in the passenger seat as I drive us to her place. When I pull up, I dig in her purse for her house keys and fight to get her to her feet. She’s somewhat coherent, but her body’s still limp, as if it wants to sleep for decades. I gently tuck her into bed and avoid lingering around the apartment. I don’t want to look at her space. I don’t want to see it, don’t want to know this piece of her. It’s too much.
There’s a sharp rap at the front door and I freeze.
Time stops, just long enough to let me take one last glance at my gorgeous, golden angel. My gaze caresses the curve of her nose and chin, and those lips I love so fucking much. Her cheeks and eyelids are still swollen from the tears, but her face is more peaceful now, thanks to sleep. Before I leave the bedroom, I see it. I see the truth in its full glory, and it’s what gives me the strength to walk away.
She’s no longer dirty. She’s clean.
She tried to tell me, but I didn’t want to hear it. She tried to escape my dark world, but I continued to lure her back in, continued to perpetuate the cycle. How can an angel fly when her wings are clipped? How can she be free when the thin line between love and obsession are blurred, distorting her path?
There’s another knock at the door. I leave the bedroom and answer the call, the one I never wanted to make.
“Christian.” Ryder stares back at me, his jaw tense and eyes hardened. He keeps his hands at his sides and his stance tall and straight. The dagger sinks firmly into place as I take in his good looks and the sincerity in his gaze. You don’t need to look far to see it, even when it’s masked by the anger in his irises.
“She’s in the bedroom. Sleeping. She’s okay.”
“Define okay.” His fists curl, turning his knuckles white.
I avert my gaze, gripping the back of the door knob. He needs to know. “My wife…”
Ryder’s eyes churn. He suddenly steps forward, brushing past me. “It suddenly all makes sense.”
As he bumps my shoulder in passing, I move aside to let him in but I’m not done with him yet. I have to be the one to tell him. “She had a gun tonight.”
Ryder spins around and grabs me by the collar of my t-shirt. He shoves me hard against the living room wall, and I don’t even fight him. As much as I’d love to punch the living shit out of him, I can’t. He’s Elise’s safe haven. “She what? A fucking gun? And you still haven’t called the cops?”
“I’m on my way to the station now. Come on man, back up.” I raise my hands. A glint flashes in his eyes as he scans me, probably deciding whether or not it’s worth it to give me a black eye. He decides to release me. “What’s important right now is you’re here. And she wants you. I’ll never come around again, not unless she wants me to. Take my number.” I pull out my wallet and retrieve a business card. “If you need anything, just call.”
He watches me warily for a moment before plucking the card from my hand. “Yeah. Okay. Fine.”
I walk quietly to the door. “I don’t know what you are to her or what she is to you, but whatever it is, it’s something. And that’s a hell of a lot more than what most of us have. Take care of her.”
Ryder slides my business card into his pocket and nods stoically. “You can count on that.”
As those final words are exchanged between us, I release my golden angel to her former lair. The one she’s fallen from. I loved her dirty, loved her raw. But that’s the thing about that fine line between love and obsession. It’s what distinguishes one from the other, the little piece that tells us what’s really what and which one is just an illusion.
Love propels you to change, because love is evolution. Obsession shackles you into repeating the same pattern over and over, until it drives you both mad. Sometimes they go hand in hand, but at least this time, I know the difference.
This time, I choose evolution.
Three Months Later
Aromas of green tea and French roast greet me as I step into the coffee shop. There’s nothing like a hot cup of coffee on a winter’s day in the Pacific Northwest. It just makes sense, makes everything right in the world again. It’s almost spring, but that chill in the air can still be damn bitter, especially early in the morning.
I wait in line and scan the selection, knowing I have some extra time this morning. I don’t have much to do at the office today, and I have a first-class ticket to Aruba waiting for me. I leave tomorrow morning for two weeks of much-needed vacation. Time to distress, time to unwind, time to deal. Since the end of my relationship with Elise, there’s been plenty to process.
But I try not to think about that very much. I try not to think about her at all. Sometimes I fail miserably, and other days, life just goes on. Some days, it’s just…easier.
“Hi,” a friendly voice floats in my direction, breaking me from my trance. It’s the girl behind the register, ready to take my order. “My name’s Tessa,” she says sweetly, gesturing to her name tag. “Actually spelled Thessa, which confuses people so everyone just calls me Tessa or Tess.”
For the first time in weeks, I actually look at the person I’m speaking to. My gaze drifts up to hers, and a sad smile tugs at my lips. She’s cute. And terrible at flirting.
“Hi, Tessa.”
“You’re new around here. Haven’t seen you before.”
“Yeah, I need a new coffee spot.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right place. We have all kinds of good stuff to choose from. What can I get you?”
“I’ll take an espresso, please. Double shot.”
“Coming right up. Can I get your number with that? Oh!” Her cheeks flame and she swipes her black hair around her face. It’s a sad attempt to conceal the blushing, but it brightens my smile. “I mean, can I get your name with that?”
“Christian.” My lips swish into a smirk as I watch her fumble for her pen. She scribbles my name on the cup and calls out the order, then hurries to ring me up.
“Christian. Okay, thanks. It’ll be…err…hold on, sorry.” She jabs at the register, biting her lip. Just when I think she can turn any redder, she does. “New computers. They drive me crazy.”
“Here.” I retrieve a crisp fifty dollar bill from my wallet and hand it to her, then step aside to give the customer behind me space at the counter. “Just keep the change.”
Tessa’s eyes pop wide. “But..but this is fifty bucks. Hold on, I got this.” She jabs away at the computer screen again, but still no luck. She glances nervously to the right, where her co-workers are eyeing her curiously. “On second thought…um, I’ll get you back once I ring up this next customer, okay?”
“No problem.” I nod and wander to the end of the counter to wait for my order. As soon as I have my espresso in hand, I wander around the corner to find a place to sit. My gaze lands on the perfect spot. I make my move.
The coffee girl catches me before I have the chance to stake my claim, and sure enough, a woman breezes by me and takes the seat.
“Hey, Christian?” Tessa taps my elbow. “Here’s your correct change. I’m sorry about that mix-up back there.”
My jaw flexes as I watch the woman settle into my seat.
“And for…causing you to lose your seat.” Tessa grins anxiously, following my line of sight. “I can’t seem to get anything right today.”
I sigh and turn to her, accepting my change. I give her a good natured smile. “One of those days?”
“My life is one of those days.”
“I can relate.” I glance over her shoulder toward the counter, where one of her co-workers has taken over her job behind the register.
“Yeah, well… see you around. Enjoy your coffee!” Tessa jumps back into action, moving back behind the counter, but this time I stop her.
“Hey.”
“Hhhmm?” She tucks a loose lock of raven hair behind her ear. My gaze drops to her beat-up Chucks and the small tear in her left jean leg. There are small, faint freckles dotting her nose and cheeks, and an innocence lurking in her irises that b
egs to be tampered with.
Instantly, I want to corrupt this girl.
“Have you ever been to Aruba?”
She blinks, then the confusion sets in. Poor thing. “Have I been to Aruba?”
“Yeah, you know, the island?”
“Uh, no. No, can’t say I have, sorry.” Her cheeks flush again as I stand there, studying her. I quickly whip out a business card and slide it to her, clearing my throat.
“If you want to ditch learning that computer and live a little, call me tonight. I leave for Aruba in the a.m. You should come.”
Her mouth falls slack. “You want me to come to Aruba.”
“Yes.”
“You want me to quit my job.”
“Yes. I have enough money to pay ten years’ worth of your hourly wages here. You don’t need this job. You need to have fun. In Aruba. With me.” There’s a spark in my eyes that hasn’t been there in three months. It wakes the rest of me up, and it feels damn good.
“This is some kind of joke. Where are the cameras?” Tessa cranes her neck, searching the shop.
“No joke. Just the new, improved Christian Walker.” I wink and gently touch her shoulder, then turn and begin a stroll toward the door. There’s an extra bounce in my step. What the fuck has gotten into me?
As I leave the shop and catch a final glimpse of Tessa—still standing there, gaping like a fish—it hits me. Elise Duchamp. She’s what’s gotten into me. This is the mark she’s made, the claim she’s staked on my heart. All this time, I wanted to own her, but the reality is she owns me. A little piece of her always will.
Until someone else comes along and shows me how to love again. Shows me something real. And I’m no longer a prisoner. I’ll be the one unlocking the steel bars.
It’ll be my turn to set the prisoner free.
Thanks for reading!
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