“As soon as you showed that you believed in me, everyone else followed suit. I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that.”
He resisted the impulse to reach out and graze his fingers along her cheek. Instead he stuffed his hands in his pockets, safely out of sight. “You've thanked me a hundred times since. Not to mention you paying me back with your home cooked meals.” He kept a straight face for a second, then burst into laughter. “Come to think of it, that might have been a punishment.”
Tess let out a cry out outrage, then swatted him in the chest. “No more jokes about my cooking. I'm trying to do better.”
Ryder grinned. He loved seeing Tess get a little riled up. It made her green eyes flash with fire and her cheeks redden with excitement. “Your culinary skills have gotten a lot better. The lasagna you made for the potluck night was fantastic.”
“Seriously?” she asked, her beautiful eyes filled with doubt and a twinge of hope.
“Seriously,” he confirmed, his heart jumping a little inside his chest at the sight of her beaming with pride. “I had two servings.” The smile that broke out over her face was breathtaking. It caused a little hitch in his heart to know that he was responsible for her joy. It took such small things to make this woman happy. A walk on the beach. A glimpse of a full moon. A cup of of coffee and a donut on a cold fall morning.
“I value your friendship. You were one of the few people outside of my family who really got in there and helped me during the toughest time of my life. I could never repay you for all you did for me.” Just the thought of it caused a groundswell of emotion to flood him. There had been days when he hadn't been able to get out of bed or even muster the energy to eat or bathe himself. He'd lost himself so deeply in the grief that he'd stopped caring about the very things that made his life wonderful. A lot of his friends had faded out of his life during that time, never to appear again. The lesson he'd learned from that experience was priceless. True friends didn't bail on you when the rough storms came. They ran towards you instead of away from you. “A lot of people expected me to just snap out of it and start dating six months after Lena died. They didn't understand why I didn't just snap out of it.”
“Lena was an amazing woman, Ryder. And the two of you together—” She shook her head, a look of wonder etched on her face. “If there was such a thing as the perfect couple it would have been the two of you.”
“We weren't perfect, 'cause there's no such thing. But we made each other happy and that's the most important thing. I'm forever blessed to have had those years together with her. What I've figured out is that loss is the price of loving. And having that type of love...It's the only choice really when it comes down to it. A hundred times over I'd make that choice.”
This was progress, he realized. To be freely and openly discussing his love for his deceased wife was a breakthrough. It didn't hurt so badly anymore. Instead of feeling like he was being stabbed in the heart, it now felt like a dull ache. He'd accepted his loss and had moved on from it. There had been a time he'd doubted he even had a future. The debt he owed Tess for standing by his side was monumental.
“So, do you think you'll ever marry again?” Tess threw her question out like a skilled pitcher. He hadn't been prepared for it, since they never discussed his future in those terms.
“Uh...hard to say. I mean, I loved being married and I—” He fumbled with the words, not entirely certain what he wanted to say.
Get married again? It was a heavy question. Marriage was such a sacred institution. When he'd married Lena and vowed to love her for a lifetime, he'd meant it. Would he ever find another woman he'd be prepared to love for a lifetime? One he could stand up at the altar next to and vow to love through sickness, health, till death do us part? He would like to say an emphatic yes, but the idea of it was intimidating. Downright scary if he was being honest with himself. Although he was a man who believed deeply in love and all its grand possibilities, he couldn't fathom taking that great leap of faith again.
Tess frowned. “You, what?”
“I believe in the institution of marriage. It's just hard to imagine it.” He stroked his chin, feeling slightly self-conscious under the heat of Tess' gaze. Although they were best buddies, they didn't talk about his love life or the possibility of him marrying again. He supposed it was his fault since the very idea of it made him feel on edge. And for the first time he realized his reaction had nothing to do with Lena. For the life of him he couldn't imagine a woman coming into his life who could ever be more important to him than Tess.
“Don't ever worry about buying me a present. Being with friends and family is the best gift I could ever receive.” Maggie Donahue
Chapter Five
“It's important to me that you're on your best behavior tonight.” Tess looked Seth over from head to toe with a critical eye, wishing he'd worn the khaki shorts she'd bought him rather than his grungy jeans. When she'd pointed out to Seth that the jeans had a hole in the knees, he'd looked at her as if she was an alien. “That's the style, Tess. I bought them ripped.”
Tess had managed to hold it together without letting him know exactly what she thought about his lack of fashion sense or practicality. Spending money on ripped jeans? Where was the logic in that? Rather than react, she'd counted to ten in her head and remembered her own teenage rebellion. Purple streaks in her hair and goth clothing had been her attempt at making her mother take notice of her. Sadly, it hadn't worked. All it had done was make her feel more out of place in her hometown, a purple-haired oddity who'd dreamed of a life outside of Brimley.
Now, standing on the front lawn of the Donahue home, she was thanking her lucky stars that Seth had even agreed to attend the party this evening. It meant a lot to her to be invited to Maggie Donahue's birthday party. As a surprise, her sons had planned the whole event down to the very last detail, according to Ryder. Once Seth got to know the Donahues, he would realize what a very special family they were. And, if he was open to it, he could learn a lot from them.
Seth frowned at her. “Why do you care so much about what these people think?”
Tess bit back the words she wanted to toss back at Seth. Why do you care so little?
Stay calm, she reminded herself. Seth was a typical teenager. His brain wasn't fully formed and being rude and sullen was a way of life for him. Furthermore, he'd been through a lot in his young life. She ought to know. Been there, done that.
“They're my friends. And they've been good to me. They've welcomed and supported me. Ryder's my partner and a very close friend. His family means a lot to him, so they mean a lot to me.”
Seth wiggled his eyebrows. “How close a friend is Ryder?”
Tess jabbed Seth in the side. “Stop that! We're friends. We work together.”
“Yeah, yeah! Heard that one before,” he said with a snort and an eye roll.
“Watch it, Seth!” she snapped. “I'm not in the mood to be disrespected.”
Seth rolled his eyes just as the front door flew open. Wyatt Donahue was standing at the entrance. He was leaning on a pair of crutches.
“Hey, Tess,” he greeted. “You're just in time. Mom's not expected for another ten minutes.”
“Wyatt Donahue!” The two words emerged from Seth like an explosion. His mouth hung open in an ‘O’. The sight of Wyatt had rendered him speechless. If she'd only known, Tess thought snidely, that all it took was a meeting with Wyatt to get Seth to pipe down, she would have done it sooner.
“That I am,” Wyatt said with a mega-watt smile. The same smile that had earned him million dollar endorsements for major companies. He leaned on the door jamb and waved them inside with one of his crutches. “Come on in. I'd shake your hand but I'm a little restricted at the moment.”
Tess had to push Seth in the small of his back to get him to move forward and into the house. Once they stepped inside, Seth continued to look at Wyatt with a mixture of hero worship and shock.
“Wyatt, this is my younger brother, Set
h.” She turned towards Seth. “And it seems as if you're already familiar with Wyatt. He's Ryder's brother.”
“Whoa,” Seth gushed. “This is unreal. You're famous.”
Wyatt laughed, showing a set of white, straight teeth that only added to his appeal. Although Tess would have had to be blind not to notice Wyatt's devastating impact, in her mind he paled in comparison to Ryder. She felt absolutely no pull in his direction. Wyatt shrugged, his toned shoulders on full display. “In the real world I'm famous, but at this house I still have to wash a few dishes and take out the trash. It’s nice to meet you, Seth.” He grinned, pointed at his knee. “I actually have an excuse not to do chores for a while.” He winked at Seth. “I'm going to milk this for all it's worth.”
“Cool!” Seth said, his eyes as big as saucers.
The sound of laughter drifted towards them from the back of the house. “Everyone's out back. When Mom gets here she won't know what hit her. Remy will lead her outside to the patio and we'll all jump out and surprise her.”
“Won't she know something's up with all the cars outside?” Seth asked.
“I like the way you think,” Wyatt said as he led them through the kitchen towards the screened door leading to the patio and back yard. “We told her a few of Dad's friends were coming over to visit with him. She'll believe that since it's been a while since he's had his friends over.”
Seth made a big point of rushing forward so he could open up the screen door for Wyatt. Wyatt sailed through the door, offering Seth a “Thanks, kid,” as he passed by. She couldn't remember ever seeing her brother so impressed by another human being. It was kind of cute to see him falling over himself because of Wyatt and his fame.
Once they stepped outside Tess couldn't help but notice how the Donahue boys had transformed the backyard into a Hawaiian themed luau. There were fake palm trees, a limbo line, tropical drinks, flower necklaces for the guests and a man strumming a ukulele and singing an upbeat song. Tess looked down at her floral sun dress, the one Ryder had suggested she wear tonight. It fit the theme to perfection. Too bad Seth had been such as stinker and refused to wear his khaki shorts and Hawaiian shirt.
Glancing around, she noticed a few of the Donahue boys sitting in lounge chairs. Mac. Brandon. And Nick. Remy was chatting up a few of the guests. Ryder? She didn't see him anywhere. All of sudden she felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. She turned all the way around, her gaze immediately lighting on Ryder. He was standing by the grill area with a woman standing close by his side. She was near enough to him so that their arms were touching. For a moment she couldn't breathe as she watched the dark haired woman reach out and ruffle Ryder's hair. A feeling of intense jealousy speared through her like a knife. She tried to dismiss it, but there it was, firmly lodged inside her heart. She was in actual physical pain. All because of Ryder and a very familiar looking brunette who seemed to be hanging on his every word. Was she his date? A friend of the family? When she turned in profile, Tess instantly recognized her. Stephanie something or other. She was a new hire at Breeze Point Hospital and Tess had crossed paths with her several times when they'd been transporting patients. Her over-the-top flirting with Ryder hadn't escaped her notice.
She willed herself not to give in to these petty feelings rising up inside her. Jealousy was a dangerous emotion, one she didn't want to consume her. Her feelings for Ryder aside, she struggled with people like Stephanie who seemed to dress provocatively and use their sex appeal to get whatever they wanted in life. She took a deep breath and turned away from the sight of Ryder and Stephanie, reminding herself that it was none of her business who Ryder decided to spend time with in his free time.
“Don't worry, sis. She's got nothing on you. You're way more gorgeous than she is.” Seth's voice whispered in her ear. He'd sidled up to her when she hadn't been paying attention. Although she felt a twinge of embarrassment about Seth discovering her feelings for Ryder, there was no point in denying it now. Clearly, her feelings had been on full display. First Sarah, and now Seth. How many other people knew that her feelings for Ryder were way more than friendship based?
She reached out and placed an impulsive kiss on Seth's cheek. “When did you get so sweet?”
Seth grinned, appearing very proud of himself. “I've always been this way. You just never noticed.”
“Tess!” The sound of Ryder's voice forced her to turn her head in his direction. He was smiling at her and waving her over to him. Stephanie was still there, shooting daggers in her direction. What was her problem anyway? Was she trying to stake some sort of claim on Ryder? It would serve Stephanie right if she walked on over and planted a nice, lingering kiss on Ryder's lips.
She let out a groan. Where had that crazy thought came from? Kissing him the other night had been amazing, but he'd made it perfectly clear that it was not to be repeated. Even though the very thought of sharing another kiss with Ryder gave her goose bumps, she had no idea of how she could make it happen. And if it did happen, what would the fallout be with Ryder?
“Play it smart, Tess. If you want to get out of the friend zone you need to start playing it nice and cool with him,” Seth said in a low voice. “Never let him see you sweat. Make him think he's the last thing on your mind.”
Tess held up her palm. “No way! I am not getting advice on my love life from my seventeen-year-old brother. That would be pathetic.”
Seth shrugged. “Suit yourself, although it's always good to get a man's perspective.”
She raised her eyebrow. “The operative word being man. You're a teenager, Seth.”
He scowled at her. “That doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. Just forget it,” he said angrily. “I'm going to go talk to Wyatt.”
Before she could apologize for hurting his feelings, Seth stormed away. What was it with teenagers? A simple conversation always ended up in fireworks. She shook her head, reminding herself that she hadn't lived with her brother for quite some time and there would be some rough patches up ahead before things settled down.
“Is everything okay?”
Ryder's voice slid over her like warm summer rain. Keep it cool, she reminded herself before turning around to face him. Relief flooded her as she realized Stephanie was nowhere in sight. He was standing there, his brows knit together in concern, blue eyes boring into her lasers. He looked so handsome in his festive shirt and khaki shorts. And the lei necklace draped around his neck looked adorable on him.
She felt a huge smile tugging at her lips. This is how Ryder made her feel. Almost giddy with joy. “Everything's fine. Just dealing with a typical teenage boy.”
“You sure that's all it is?” His gaze was piercing.
She reached up and smoothed his furrowed brow. “It's all good. We just have to find our rhythm. It's been a while since we lived together, so it's normal to be butting heads a little bit.”
“Did you make that call?”
She grimaced. “Yes, I did, even though it wasn't pretty. I told her Seth had shown up here in Breeze Point. Her first response was to accuse me of hiding him from her.” Tess shook her head, wishing she could rid herself of the verbal abuse her mother had hurled at her. Useless. Liar. And much, much worse. Words she would never utter in her life. She was too ashamed to tell Ryder, too embarrassed by her dysfunctional family. “I told her that he was going to be living with me and she flipped out. She threatened to call the police and have me arrested.”
Ryder's lips twisted. A hissing sound came from his mouth. “She actually threatened that?”
She arched an eyebrow in his direction. “And that surprises you? I wasn't exaggerating when I told you about my childhood.”
His expression was full of tenderness. “I know you weren't,” Ryder said in a gentle voice. “Something tells me you left out all the really bad parts. The ones that left scars.”
He knew her so well. Too well at times. She had left out the worst parts due to shame. Pure, unadulterated shame. Looking around at the Donahues
’ festive backyard, she wondered for the millionth time what it would have felt like to be loved and valued and wanted.
That hadn't been her reality, but she felt thankful that the Lord has blessed Ryder with two adoring parents and a houseful of siblings. Maggie and Alec had shaped him into the strong, heroic man he was today. Maggie, with her gentle spirit and kindness had shown her boys the way to conduct themselves in the world. She'd taught them how to respect and care for a woman. Alec, with his charm and wisdom, had demonstrated a dedication to family that lived and breathed in Ryder.
“How did you leave things with her?” Ryder asked, disrupting her thoughts.
Tess shoved her hand through her hair, pushing the long strands away from her face. “Long story short, she called me back a few hours later and told me she was moving in with her boyfriend and I could keep Seth.” It had been textbook behavior from Tess and Seth’s mother to make a wild fuss about an issue then change her mind a few hours later. That type of chaos had ruled her childhood.
“Keep? Wow. That's—” Ryder shook his head, his expression full of disbelief.
“Horrible? As if he was hers to give away. So typical. She acts like he's some stray kitten,” she muttered. “Anyway, I don't want to take away from this happy occasion by blabbering on about my personal problems.”
“You weren't blabbering on, Tess. I brought it up,” Ryder reassured her.
“Hey, everyone! She's right around the corner!” Mac, with his gruff, intimidating voice shouted from the top of the patio steps. “Everybody get in position.”
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