“Mac has spoken. We better position ourselves where she can't see us,” Ryder said as he reached for her hand and pulled Tess along with him to the side yard. Everybody gathered in the side yard where they had a clear view of the patio doors. Remy had headed into the house where he would be greeting Maggie and bringing her outside for her surprise and celebration.
After a few minutes of whispers and anticipation, they watched as Remy walked through the patio doors, gently pulling his mother along with him. On Remy's command, the guests jumped out and shouted “Surprise!” Maggie raised her hand to her chest as she realized what was happening.
Alec stepped forward, sweeping her against him with one arm while he balanced on a cane.
Tess sat back and watched as a tearful Maggie greeted her husband with a tender kiss and a long hug. The love shared by Alec and Maggie was palpable. It hung in the air like a sweet scent. Then, one by one Maggie approached each son, delivering kisses and hugs.
Tess hung back behind Ryder, not wanting to get in the way of this beautiful family moment. She felt privileged just to be here as a guest. “Tess.” Maggie pulled her forward and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for being a part of this wonderful surprise.”
“I wouldn't have missed it for the world.” Tess felt herself beaming. Being here with the man she loved and his family was a gift in itself. Feeling welcomed and embraced by the Donahues never got old. And try as she might, she couldn't stop herself from wishing that she was one of them.
*
As the evening wound down, Ryder found himself sitting on the hammock with Remy, enjoying a glass of wine. Tess had insisted on helping package up leftovers for a local homeless shelter. It was one of the things his family had committed themselves to doing over the past few years. They'd vowed there would be no more party food being tossed in the garbage. They'd partnered with a local charity to make sure that the food reached shelters servicing needy individuals.
“The two of you look good together. You and Tess.” Remy held up a hand. “I know what you're going to say. You're just friends. Am I right?”
Ryder sighed. “I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, aren't I?”
“Have you ever asked yourself, brother, why people keep thinking of you and Tess as more than friends? Has it ever dawned on you that there might be something there?”
“Of course it has,” he said. “Two single people. One widower. One gorgeous paramedic.”
Remy chuckled. “Is that you or Tess?”
Ryder laughed along with his brother. “She's the gorgeous one. I'm just okay.”
Remy scoffed. “Is that why all the single ladies are dying to go out with you? You're in serious demand, brother. Even if you don't know it.”
“It's flattering. Like tonight for instance. Stephanie something or other was trying to get my attention so badly. But it was a huge turn-off.” He stroked his jaw with his forefinger and thumb. “I'm just not interested.”
“Not interested in what? Dating? Or losing someone else?” Remy probed.
“In an ideal world I'd find love again, but it's painful to think about opening myself up again. I guess I'm just a big chicken.”
“Don't say that,” Remy said in a fierce tone. “You're the bravest man I know. You stood by your wife's side through it all. Chemo. Radiation. You even shaved her hair off for her so she wouldn't have to cry every time another lock fell off. And then you shaved your own hair off in solidarity.” Remy nudged Ryder in the side. “And with that egg-shaped head of yours, that was a bold move.”
They both began to chuckle. Within moments they'd stopped laughing, each pulled into the past along with a tide of painful memories.
“My point is, you walked the walk. You lived your wedding vows. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part. You treated Lena like a Queen throughout your marriage. Love was your cornerstone.”
He nodded, as a host of memories swept over him. Meeting his wife for the first time. The moment he knew she was the one. Their wedding. Her brutal diagnosis. Her courage and beauty in the face of a terminal illness that ravaged her bit by bit All in all, he was so incredibly blessed to have taken the journey with her.
“I know how lucky we were to have found that special thing everyone chases after.”
“You're talking to someone who lived it. I saw it up close and personal.”
Ryder frowned, turning towards Remy. “Your parents?”
“Yeah,” Remy said, exhaling a ragged sigh. “I still remember what it felt like to be in their orbit, to feel that massive love emanating from them. I still dream of finding it for myself and living up to their incredible legacy of love and truth.”
Ryder didn't have any words. Remy's parents had been killed in a car accident when he was eight. Of French Creole origin, his parents had been visiting Massachusetts from their home state of New Orleans at the time of the crash. Although Remy had been in the car at the time of the accident, his life had been spared. Of all the Donahue boys, Remy was the only one whose parents hadn't given him up or abandoned him in some way. They'd been ripped from Remy's life through a tragedy, not by choice. The ripples of that monumental loss continued to resonate in his life.
“Seeing you with Lena...it reminded me of my past with my family. It used to make me happy to be around you guys, to bask in that love. I'd like to see you like that again, Ry.”
“I'd like to see me like that again, too.”
“But?”
“It's hard. After a lifetime of losing the people closest to me, I just feel conflicted about bringing someone into my life.”
“About getting close to you, right? Isn't that what it's all about?” Remy's eyes radiated compassion. Out of all of his brothers, Remy was the one who was the most tenderhearted. He was easy to talk to about matters of the heart.
“Yeah, that's what the crux of it is, if I'm being honest with myself. Loving again and risking losing her.” Just talking about it caused a tight sensation to gather in his chest. What was he so afraid of? What was holding him back from getting on with his life? Deep in his heart he knew that life without love was not a full, whole existence. Yet he just couldn't take that first huge step.
“Well, if you wait too long, that person might not stick around,” Remy warned, his eyes glinting with meaning. “She might get tired of wearing her heart on her sleeve.”
Ryder locked gazes with his brother. Remy shook his head at him, emphasizing his point. He felt tongue tied, knowing Remy wasn't talking about a random woman. It was all about Tess.
“Am I interrupting? We're about to head out.” Suddenly Tess was standing there next to the hammock, looking just as beautiful as ever. He felt some butterflies rumbling around in his belly. She'd worn the tropical dress he'd suggested, pairing it with a bright red sandal and festive jewelry. He wondered how much of their conversation she'd overheard. Judging by the sweet look on her face, she hadn't heard anything that might embarrass them both. Or put any further strain on their relationship.
The thought of Tess leaving put a damper on his lighthearted mood. Things always seemed better when she was around. Her fun personality, paired with the comfort level that existed between them, made her presence satisfying and organic. There weren't many people who could just jump into the fray with his boisterous family and live to tell the tale. Tess jumped in feet first and ended up having his entire clan loving her.
His best friend was one of a kind.
He jumped up from the hammock, causing it to rock at a perilous angle that nearly knocked Remy off. “Hey, watch it, brother,” Remy shouted, the slight rhythms of his Creole accent audible. His accent always showed up in moments of excitability.
Tess and Ryder burst out laughing as Remy bobbed back and forth. “Let me walk you out,” Ryder suggested, placing his hand on the small of her back. “Where's Seth?”
She smirked. “He sort of made buddies with your brothers. First Wyatt. Now he's picking [KH1] Brandon's brain about his company.”
Tess shook her head. “He told Brandon he's going to give him a run for his money one day.”
“It's great to have ambition. It'll get him far. It got Brandon all the way to Harvard and then Wharton School of Business, not to mention Wall Street and his own corporation.”
Tess made a face. “He's going to have to attend summer school if he wants to be a senior come fall. I spoke to his guidance counselor at Brimley High and he failed two of his classes. He's a bright boy, but being absent for weeks at a time didn't help him any.”
“Have you told him?”
She let out a sigh. “Nope. I didn't have the heart to tell him yet. He's just getting his bearings.”
Ryder opened the patio door and ushered her inside. The normally-bustling kitchen was empty, with cartons of food neatly stacked on the counter and ready for delivery to the shelter.
“He seems like a tough kid. And based on what you've said, he's had to be resilient throughout his life. I think Seth will be fine about going to summer school.”
“Summer school!” The two words exploded like a gun shot in the stillness of the kitchen. Seth was standing in the doorway, a bowl of fruit in his hand, his face flushed with rage. “I'm not going to summer school, Tess. And if you try and make me, I'm just gonna run again. And this time you'll never find me.” With those words, Seth hurled the fruit bowl to the floor then turned on his heel and ran down the hall and out of the house as if his feet were on fire.
“Sometimes, storms come without warning. When they do rear their heads, make sure you have your rain boots on to weather the storm.” Alec Donahue
Chapter Six
Tess wanted to cry her eyes out. She considered herself a strong person, so she resisted the impulse to plunk herself down on the Donahues’ front steps and bawl like a baby. Normally she wasn't a big crier, although lately all her feelings had been riding on the surface. People always said God never gave you more than you could handle, but at the moment she didn't believe a word of it. Between Seth running away from home and showing up in Breeze Point, her mother's antagonistic behavior and her recent romantic conflicts with Ryder, she felt a bit overwhelmed. Why did everything have to bubble over at the same time?
Seth was gone. He'd sprinted away from the Donahue home and within seconds had disappeared from Ocean Street. She'd raced after him in the darkness, shouting at him to come back and clean up his mess, but he'd been nothing more than a blur, visible only due to several lamp posts.
Generally, people who didn't want to be found were able to vanish into thin air. The thought gave her chills.
By the time she'd gone back into the house and grabbed her keys to her car, her efforts to locate her brother had been futile. She headed back to Seashell Lane, hoping she might find Seth hanging out there. Although she'd given him his own key to the house, she had a sinking suspicion before she even arrived that he wasn't here. Of course Seth would never do anything so predictable. Not her wild child brother. Not knowing what else to do she'd headed back to the Donahue's house to apologize to Ryder for Seth's behavior. Judging by the lack of cars outside, all the guests had left. Ryder's Mustang was still parked out front, alerting her to the fact that he was still inside.
Ryder had already cleaned up Seth's mess in the kitchen, leaving Tess feeling even worse about the havoc Seth had wrought.
“I don't know what to say, Ryder. I'm so embarrassed about how he acted,” she apologized.
Ryder held up his hand, slicing it through the air. “Don't be. You're not responsible for your brother's actions.” Ryder's tone was matter-of-fact. She detected a slight anger humming under the surface.
“It's crazy that he got set off so easily,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air.
Ryder made a face.
“What? What's that face about?” she asked. “Spit it out. I know you want to say something.”
He swung his gaze towards her, his eyes steely. “You don't really know Seth all that well.”
“What are you talking about?” she scoffed. “He's my brother.”
“A brother you haven't seen regularly for more than eight or nine years. You see him once or twice a year for a few days at a time.”
Hurt sliced through her. She felt guilty enough as it was about living in Cape Cod while Seth languished in New Hampshire. “I've done the best I could do to try to see him. Letty doesn't make it easy.”
“I know you have, but taking custody of a brother you don't know that well...it's going to be tough. There's no way to sugarcoat that.”
She folded her arms around her chest. She tilted her chin up. “And you don't think I'm up for the challenge?”
“That's not what I meant at all.” Ryder shrugged. “I'm just trying to point out that you're going to have to get to know him. There's going to be a lot of surprises along the way.”
“You don't like him very much, do you? Ever since that first time you met him, you've harbored a grudge against him.”
“I don't dislike him, Tess,” he said in a raised voice. “I barely know him. But if you want to know the truth, I think he's a little disrespectful and a lot entitled. He's not going to get very far in life if he continues on this path.”
Tension pulsed in the air between them for a moment. Tess couldn't remember a time when things had been so uncomfortable. The anger she felt towards him was threatening to overwhelm her.
“How dare you judge him. You know more than anyone how dysfunction can damage a person. He's been treading water his whole life without anyone, including me, throwing him a life preserver.” Tess felt her eyes getting moist but she blinked them away. She wasn't going to let Ryder see her get emotional. Not again.
“Like you said, I know more than anyone about dysfunction and painful beginnings,” Ryder said through clenched teeth. “But it doesn't give Seth an excuse to break into your house or hurl food around my family's kitchen. He needs to know that before he does something to get himself into a world of trouble!”
She took her finger and pushed it against his rock solid chest. “Well, if and when he does get in trouble, you don't have to worry about it. It's our business!”
“What's going on in here? I can hear the two of you clear upstairs.”
Tess whirled around at the sound of Maggie's shocked and concerned voice. Eyes wide, Ryder's mother had her hand raised to her throat. Maggie had soundlessly come down the back staircase, surprising them both by her appearance in the kitchen.
Her heart sank as her throat constricted. Tess thought so highly of Maggie Donahue. In her eyes she was the very personification of a warm, loving mother. It was humiliating to hear the reproachful tone in Maggie's voice and know it was all due to her.
“I'm so sorry, Maggie.” Somehow she managed to get a few words out. Choking back a sob she raced out of the kitchen and pushed her way out of the house, her path blinded by her tears. She heard Ryder calling out to her but she waved him away. All she wanted to do was get out here. She jumped in her car and revved the engine, not even bothering to glance back at the house as she made her dramatic exit.
She reached for the knob of the radio, turning it on and blasting music so that it might drown out the voices of dread and doubt in her head. When she reached a red light she dropped her head down to the steering wheel until a honking horn behind her brought her back to the present. Even though it was barely nine o'clock she had a feeling the night ahead was going to be a long one. Not knowing Seth's whereabouts caused a sick, desperate feeling to rise up inside her. If anything happened to him, the blame could be placed squarely on her shoulders. Once again, she felt not good enough. Not good enough to be a custodial parent for Seth. Not good enough to keep her baby brother from running away from her custodianship.
Lord, she prayed, please bring him back to me. I promise to be a better sister and do my best to guide and mold him into the man I know he can be.
*
“What is going on with you and Tess? The two of you were going at it like cats and dogs.”
His mother's eyes were like laser beams as they honed in on him. Her pretty face was marred with worry.
Ryder frowned back at his mother. For the last few days he'd been thinking the same thing. Their friendship had always been laid back and easy. Now it was filled with more fireworks than the Fourth of July. Ever since “the kiss”, tension had filled the air whenever they were together. Most times he didn't know whether it was attraction or discord. It made him angry that he'd botched their perfect friendship by giving in to his impulse to kiss her.
“Things have been a little tense lately between us,” he acknowledged. “Add in Seth coming to town, and it's been like a keg of dynamite between us.”
“What's the issue with Seth?”
“For one thing, he left here in a rage earlier after throwing food all over the kitchen floor. He has a hair trigger temper and a disrespectful tongue.”
His mother let out a clucking sound. “He sounds like an angry, confused young man.”
“He showed up here in Breeze Point after running away from home. There's some family dysfunction there, so she wants to have Seth stay here and finish out his senior year in September. Problem is, he's really rude and sullen. He's been giving her a hard time ever since he showed up here.”
“It can't be easy for him,” Maggie noted. “No teenager ever wants to be a runaway. And coming to a new town with no friends or contacts other than an older sister...that can't be fun.”
Ryder scratched his chin. He hadn't considered those points. All he'd thought about was the hard time Seth had been giving Tess and the disrespectful way he treated her. It burned him to see anyone mistreat Tess. She was so loving and supportive and loyal. Usually she would fight back against such behavior, but she seemed to give in to Seth, almost to the point of coddling him.
“You have a point,” he conceded. “Things might improve if he met some friends and started socializing. And summer school isn't the worst thing in the world. It'll give him a great start come September.”
His mother raised a skeptical eyebrow. “That's not what you said when it happened to you.”
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