He chokes on his water, his eyes huge behind his glasses as they look at me. It takes a few minutes of patting him on the back until he can breathe again.
“You all right? I thought for a second there we were gonna have to find a doctor.”
“Yeah...yeah, I’m good,” he laughs, then coughs a bit more.
We sit in tension filled silence until Cash walks up with our food a few minutes later.
“So, you hated her yesterday, but today you’re besties?” Leia starts in on him, before he has his butt in the seat.
He goes still, and looks at her with obvious irritation. “What did Nik ask you to do before we left him? That you promised him you’d do, I might add,” he says, sounding like a stern father would as he passes over my plate.
She deflates a bit, and stares down at her salad before meeting his eyes again. “I promised him I would fix my fuck up.”
“Then fix it, princess,” he says, digging into his food.
It’s quick, but she cuts him the evil eye, playing the guilty teenage daughter to his angry father almost perfectly. It’s plain to see now that attitude and bravado are Leia’s defense mechanisms, and that they don’t work on Cash at all. She looks up at me, and I actually see regret in her beautiful blue eyes that remind me a lot of Nik’s.
Before she speaks, I stop her, holding up my hand. “It’s okay. I understood Cash’s hesitancy about me yesterday, and I understand yours, too. I’m a complete stranger to you, of course you’d be wary of me.”
She considers my words for a moment then shakes her head. “I still shouldn’t have said what I did, or acted that way, so for that, I’m sorry.”
I’m shocked at her sincerity, but recover enough to give her a smile. “Thank you, Leia.”
She nods her golden head and sighs. “He wasn’t happy with me when I left, and that breaks my heart. I’ll give you a fair chance if you being here will help him feel better. But if you hurt him in any way, all bets are off.”
“Understood. It’s clear how much you love your brother, how much you all love him. He’s blessed to have all of you, and I promise I have absolutely no intention of using him or hurting him in any way. That’s the last thing I want.
“He saved me. I owe him my life. My intention is only to show him my gratitude and return the sacrifice he made for me, if that’s at all possible. I don’t think it is. There’s nothing I can say or do to make him understand what he did for me yesterday. I’m gonna do my best though, but only for as long as he wants me here. I’ll be gone the second he doesn’t.”
“Don’t count on that happening anytime soon,” Cash mutters under his breath.
Leia and I both give him a confused glance, but choose to keep quiet. I look over at Scott who’s sitting nervously beside me. It must be Leia that has him tied in knots, because he wasn’t near this uptight yesterday.
“How much did you tell her about me so I know what needs to be filled in?” I ask him.
“Uh, only the highlights. I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise,” he says, grinning.
I smile back, and pat his shoulder before giving Leia my attention. “Okay, so…I didn’t have time to tell him about myself yesterday before those assholes ruined our day. Before they came in we’d been talking maybe five or six minutes, max. Some friendly conversation while we waited. We mostly talked about his job. He didn’t ask my marriage status, and I didn’t offer it. I guess he assumed because of my ring. I haven’t had a chance to explain it to him here either, but I will as soon as I can. For right now, I’ll explain it to you. If you want,” I tell her.
She nods her head. “Please.”
I take a sip of the tea Cash got for me, and a deep breath, then let the words start to flow. “I’m from Tennessee. I grew up in a tiny little town called Copperhill. My parents and sister died when I was seven. Our house burned down in the middle of the night. They said it was a space heater. I’d been at a sleepover, or I wouldn’t be here either.
“After that my great-aunt took me in. She was the only family I had left. She died of a stroke when I was eighteen. I met my husband Josh right after. His parents were older, he was their only child, and they were thrilled when we got together. They treated me like their own from the beginning. I had a family again. We married, and things were great for a while. Then Josh’s dad had a massive heart attack. His mother was gone six months later from cancer.” I pause and take another deep breath. They’re all looking at me with pity. I stare down at my food, and push it around my plate.
“My in-laws left us well off, so if you’re worried I’m here for Nik’s money, don’t be. It’s the last thing I need,” I say, glancing at Leia. I go back to playing with my food doing my best to keep it together. I haven’t spoken the next part out loud in a long time. I take another drink of tea to help wash down the lump in my throat, then take a deep breath before blowing it out slowly.
“Eighteen months after his mama passed, Josh…Josh was killed. The other guy fell asleep at the wheel, and hit the truck. It flipped a dozen times. He was thrown out. Died instantly, they said.”
Cash reaches a hand over to comfort me, but I shake my head, and he quickly pulls it back. I wipe my eyes, and take another drink of tea, wishing for a split second it was something much stronger.
“Just like that, I was alone again. Needless to say, it left me in a dark place. My depression was so severe I spent the next seven months basically catatonic. If it wasn’t for my two best friends I’d be long gone. They stayed, and did their best to keep me alive until they couldn’t stand to see me that way anymore.
“They got me into a grief treatment center in Atlanta. I was there for almost a year trying to learn how to function again. The depression lifted somewhat, but the anxiety and panic attacks took up the slack. I finally went back home and tried to live again, but after three months I couldn’t do it anymore. I was done fighting. I came here a week ago with the intention of killing myself.”
That sits them all back in their seats, each one giving me a look of shock. I attempt to ignore the stares and keep going.
“I got some paperwork settled with my lawyer, packed a bag for appearance’s sake, and hopped a plane to Savannah. Josh’s family has owned a vacation house here since the early nineteen hundreds. It seemed like as good a place as any. I didn’t want to hurt my friends more than I had to. I knew it would take them awhile to figure it out. They would get a phone call instead of finding my body. So, for the past week I’ve sat in that house staring at a big bottle of sleeping pills sitting on the nightstand. For some reason, I hadn’t taken them yet.”
I look up again, Cash and Scott are staring at me. They both lower their heads when I make eye contact, but when I meet Leia’s, she doesn’t look away. I can see the understanding in them. She knows exactly what it’s like to lose people you love, and I’d bet what it’s like to think about taking your own life because of it. I hold her gaze and finish my story.
“I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t gone through with it yet, until yesterday when I met Nik. He stirred something in me, even in those short few minutes. He was so full of life, his eyes sparkled with it. It scared me, made me angry, and hopeful all at once. Then those assholes showed up, and the first thing your brother did was try to protect me.
“He thought a complete stranger was worth risking his life for. For some insane reason, he thought I was worth that enormous risk. I know I wasn’t, but he meant to save me, and he did. Thing is, he knows he saved me physically, but he has no idea how he saved me here,” I tell her with my hand over my heart.
“I don’t want to tell him all of this yet. He needs to concentrate on getting better, not on me and my pitiful self. I’ll let him know I’m a widow, but that’s all for now. Okay? If he still wants me around after he’s better, then I’ll tell him. Will y’all agree to that?”
One by one they nod their heads in agreement, however none of them seem to think it’s for the best, especially Cash.
&nb
sp; “I don’t think we should lie to him Ellie,” he says, proving my suspicion. “He won’t be happy about it when he finds out.”
“None of us will really be lying to him. He has enough stress to deal with. I don’t intend to add to it by giving him my sob story. I’m pretty sure he’s the type that will worry more about me and my stress than his own. I’ll tell him, but not until he’s doing better, okay?”
He lets out yet another of his big sighs. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”
I open my mouth to fuss back, but my phone rings. My heart clenches when I see it’s a hospital number.
“It must be Lacey,” I tell them, putting it on speaker. “Is he okay?” I ask without saying hello.
“He’s the same, but the orthopedic surgeon showed up sooner than we thought he would. He wants him in surgery right away. Nik really wants to see y’all before they take him back.”
“Tell him we’re coming right now.”
We’re up and halfway to the elevator by the time I hang up.
BROKEN
~
NIK
I’M JOLTED OUT OF MY sleep by a sudden spike of pain shooting through my leg. I can’t help but growl at the white-coated offender that caused it, standing at the foot of my bed. “What the hell are you doing?” I grit out, none too nicely.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jensen. I had hoped to examine your leg while you were out from the morphine. My apologies for the pain I caused. I’m Dr. Tamayaka, the orthopedic surgeon. Your nurse called me while I was on vacation, and begged me to come back early to see to you. I’m most glad she did. We need to get you into surgery straight away.”
“What? Surgery?” I ask, not awake enough to register what he’s telling me.
He nods. “Yes, Mr. Jensen. We should be able to have you in surgery in the next thirty minutes.”
“Thirty minutes? Is it so bad that it has to be done right now?”
His urgency has helped to wake me up a good bit, but I’d been concentrating so hard on him that I failed to notice my leg was uncovered. I can see for the first time how bad it actually is.
I think I’m gonna be sick.
Everything between my knee and foot looks like it’s been through a meat grinder. It’s swollen, twisted strangely, and there’s a large, gaping, bloody hole where my shin used to be.
Holy hell! God, please don’t let me puke.
I bring my right hand up to my face as fast as my morphine haze will let me and cover my mouth. The fact that I feel drunk off my ass from that morphine isn’t helping my nausea any.
I think I may die if I have to puke.
Thinking of the pain that would cause literally makes me want to cry, and I don’t cry.
They’ll have to kill me to put me out of my misery if I do–if the pain doesn’t do it first that is.
The doctor must notice what has to be my ash white face, because I feel the sheet lay against my leg again.
“Sorry about that,” he says. “I’m afraid there is no choice, but to operate as soon as possible. The bullet shattered quite a bit of your tibia, so we’re going to have to put in a rod, plates, and some pins to repair the damage. Despite the antibiotics you have been receiving, there are signs of infection beginning. They must be removed quickly before they spread. The sooner we get you into surgery the better,” he explains.
“Probably better fix it then,” I say, groaning in unison with my queasy stomach. Then another horrible thought hits me. “I’m not gonna lose my leg, am I?” I ask, my voice a lot more unsteady than I care for.
“If we had waited until Monday that could have been a possibility, but it’s very unlikely right now. I will do my best to have you walking normal again in a few months, Mr. Jensen,” he says, trying to sound reassuring I suppose. It helps, but only a little. “I’m going to get everyone started in the operating room now. I will see you shortly.” With a formal nod in my direction, he turns and leaves quietly.
“Son of a bitch,” I groan into the room, covering my face with my hand again.
“You’re not talking to me, are you?” Lacey asks walking in, her voice carrying a teasing tone.
“Sorry, no. Just to life in general. I don’t think I realized until now how bad of shape I’m in.”
She pats my shoulder, smiling at me. “But we’re gonna take good care of you, and get you outta here as soon as we can. You’re gonna be back to normal before you know it. I promise.”
I’m not so sure I believe her right now.
She holds out a clipboard and pen. “This is the consent form for your surgery. Do you have any questions before you sign it?”
“No, but umm, is Ellie still here? And my sister and them, are they close by? I’d like to see them again, before they take me back,” I ask, my voice shaking a bit as I sign the form.
I sound like a scared little boy. I fucking hate it.
“Ellie’s still here. They all are. They went downstairs to eat while you were sleeping, but I can have ‘em here in a jiffy. I’m gonna send them in one at a time, so who do you want to see first?”
“Ellie,” I say without hesitation.
Lacey’s smile grows bigger, her eyes twinkling. “Okay, I’ll go call them right now.” She pats my shoulder one more time before walking out.
I immediately work on calming myself down. I’m not gonna lose it in front of Ellie, I refuse to upset her again.
Get it together, Nik. You need to suck it up, and take this like a man for heaven’s sake. You didn’t die. You’re not gonna die. Everything is gonna be fine.
I keep repeating my little mantra until I hear muffled voices outside my room. Another minute goes by, then my door slides open. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as Ellie slips through the curtain into the room. She’s smiling a little, but she’s also nibbling on her lip and wringing her hands. Her shoulders are curled in like she’s trying to hide, too. Seeing her so nervous makes my chest hurt with a different kind of pain.
“Hey, I was afraid you left,” I say softly, not wanting to scare her any more than she already is. I hold my hand out, hoping to coax her over.
Her eyes dart from me, to my hand, and then to the floor, but after a few seconds she walks over and wraps my hand up in both of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t leave, and I promise I won’t. I’ll stay as long as you want me to. I meant what I said before. I’ll stay with you through all of this if that’s what you want,” she promises me.
I can see in her eyes that she means it, and it makes my stomach feel funny, but in a good way.
I can’t explain what she’s doing to me, but I like it.
“I know it doesn’t make any sense. We hardly know each other, but I need you here. I don’t know why, I just do,” I tell her, sounding like some kind of sap. I’m really beginning to think the morphine is making me emotional.
That’s the excuse I’m gonna use anyway.
Her smile turns sweeter, and she rubs the back of my hand with her thumb. “Okay then. It’s decided. I’m staying.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, smiling up at her as the knot in my stomach loosens a little. Her brows furrow, and she starts worrying her bottom lip again. I squeeze her hand. “Hey, you okay?”
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry about running off earlier. I didn’t plan on you finding out that way,” she whispers. “I had hoped we would get a chance to talk so I could explain, but Leia beat me to it. Did you notice my ring when we were at Starbucks?”
“Yeah, right before those bastards walked in. And I’m sorry about my sister, she can be... difficult.”
Her pretty face twists into a wry grimace. “She’s not so bad.”
“Yes, she is,” I laugh. “But she’s my sister, I put up with it. So, I’m guessing it’s not a wedding ring then, since you said you weren’t married. Do you wear it to keep the creepers at bay?” I have no clue what I want her answer to be. My brain is really too mushy to care right now. I’m just glad she isn�
�t spoken for.
Or is she?
“Wait, are you engaged to someone?”
God, I hope she isn’t.
She shakes her head, and looks down at our hands, but I don’t miss the tears gathering in her big blue eyes. “I was married. I’m a widow. My husband died two years ago. I’ve never taken my ring off.”
Fuck. I never would have thought… I’m such an asshole.
“God, Ellie, I’m so sorry. That…”
Tears start running down her cheeks, but she shakes her head. “It’s okay, you didn’t know. We can talk about it later when you get back up here, and have a chance to rest some more,” she whispers.
All that pain I’ve seen in her makes sense now, and it breaks my heart. Losing my parents was the worst experience of my life. What I’m dealing with now will be a close second, but I can’t imagine losing a spouse. I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss her fingers.
“I’m sorry. Thank you for staying with me, it means even more to me now.”
She wipes her eyes and nods her head while attempting to smile, then clears her throat and takes a few deep, shaky breaths, trying her hardest to keep herself together.
She’s killing me. I may lose it in front of her after all.
“I better go so Leia can come see you. Cash and Scott are waiting, too,” she says, avoiding my eyes while leaning down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll see you soon,” she whispers over my skin.
I reach through her hair, and gently grab the back of her neck when she goes to move away. I pull her back down and kiss her forehead softly. I really wish I was kissing her lips, but that can wait. I slip my hand out of her hair so she can stand back up. She pulls away a little and stares at me, eyes wide. The emotions in them are changing so fast, I can’t keep up.
Finally, she gives me a wobbly, teary smile. “I’ll be right here when you get back.” She squeezes my hand one more time before letting go and hurrying out the door.
Save Me Page 7