Save Me

by Alexandra Page

  I reach out and lightly stroke her cheek with the back of my fingers. Her skin is so damn soft it’s hard to keep my hands off her. She hasn’t complained about me playing with her hair, rubbing her back, or arms and legs yet, thank goodness. I want more, but I’ll definitely take what I can get. I feel certain if my body wasn’t screwed up she’d be fine with more, but she’s afraid she’ll cause me to get hurt again, I think. We’ve went back to cuddling, hand holding, and PG-rated kisses, but I can live with that. I love her more with each day that passes, I can be patient.

  “What are you thinking about so hard over there?” she asks, turning to face me and giving my fingers a kiss with a sleepy smile.

  I smile back. “Good morning, Hummingbird. How long have you been playing opossum?”

  “Mmmmm, not too long, but long enough to know you’re a creeper,” she teases me with a wicked grin.

  “You wound me, woman. I can’t help being stuck in this bed,” I defend myself. “And it’s not my fault you’re so beautiful either,” I smile, brushing some of her hair off her face.

  She blushes adorably and rolls her eyes at me. “I’m sure I look ravishing with no makeup on, bed head, and morning breath. Maybe I should’ve had Dr. Schultz check your eyes when she was here,” she grins.

  “There is nothing wrong with my eyes, they work fine. You’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen,” I whisper, leaving out any trace of teasing in my voice. Her blush deepens, and her grin fades into a softer smile.

  “Thank you, but I could say the same thing about you,” she says, leaning over and kissing my lips. She keeps it short unfortunately, pulling back to get off the bed.

  I watch as she walks around the end of it only to stop and stretch. My dick twitches seeing her perfect body outlined by the sunlight streaming in the window and through her thin pjs. It allows me to get my first glance of her nipples as they strain against her top.

  The blue balls are starting early today.

  She gets me up and into the bathroom before heading to hers as we start another day. We have ham and cheese omelets for breakfast, then she helps me onto the sofa while she cleans up the kitchen and gets ready to go get groceries. I tried to talk her into taking me with her, but she wouldn’t budge. I don’t like her being out by herself. I’m worried she may have an attack.

  As far as I know she hasn’t had any this week. I’d hate for her have one, and have to deal with it alone. I tried to get her to stay here. Cash could pick stuff up for us or take him with her, but she didn’t like those ideas either. He’s coming to stay with me instead, so she won’t have to worry about me being alone.

  He and Carlie show up right on time to keep me company with burgers and fries from our favorite diner.

  “Car-Car! What’s up, little lady?” I ask her with a big smile. I always greet her that way and usually get a bright smile and high five in return.

  Today her green eyes are looking at me like they never have before–with uncertainty. I pat the sofa beside me. “Come here and sit with me. I’ve missed you.”

  She walks over and climbs up, still staring quietly. I let her check me out all she wants. My leg fascinates her the most. Finally, she looks up at me with her cute little face twisted up. “Daddy said some bad men shot you.”

  “They did.”

  “Well, why’d you let em do that?”

  I laugh. She’s only five, but I swear sometimes she’s smarter than me. “I didn’t let them. Bad guys kind of do what they want, and I was busy keeping them from hurting my friend.”

  “Daddy said it was a girl.”

  “Yep.”

  “Who is she?”

  “Her name’s Ellie.”

  “Are you gonna get better so you can play with me again? Daddy said you couldn’t play with me today.”

  “I’m definitely gonna get better, and I can play with you today, we’ll just have to be gentle, okay?”

  “Okay. I’m glad the bad men didn’t kill you,” she whispers, her little chin quivering.

  I think my heart’s gonna shatter.

  “Me, too, sweet pea. Come here and give me a hug,” I tell her, my voice cracking. Cash picks her up and helps her straddle my lap. Her little arms wrap around my neck and squeeze hard. I rub her back, and kiss her head through her dark curls. “I love you, Car-Car. Always and forever,” I tell her, doing my best not to blubber like a baby.

  “I love you too, Nik-Nik,” she whispers, then kisses my cheek. “Is that Ellie?”

  I crane my neck back, and see Ellie standing at the end of the hallway, wiping her eyes, her nervous smile on her face. “Yup. That’s her. Ellie, come meet Miss Carlie.”

  She walks around the sofa and sits beside us, Carlie keeping a very close eye on her. “Hi, Carlie. I’m Ellie. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “Hi. Is this your house?”

  “It is,” Ellie tells her, still with the nervous smile.

  Carlie looks at me. “Why are you stayin’ here? What’s wrong with your house?”

  “I can’t go up and down the stairs with my leg yet. Ellie was nice enough to let me stay with her. She’s taking care of me ‘til I’m better.”

  Carlie stares at Ellie for a few long seconds. “She’s pretty. Y’all match, too. Is she your girlfriend now?”

  We all laugh. Ellie blushes.

  “Such a smart child I have,” Cash says.

  “Thank you, Carlie. You are very pretty, too. I love your curls, and pretty green eyes,” Ellie tells her.

  “Yeah, I look just like my daddy.”

  “Yes, you do. I bet if you look in that cabinet over there you’ll find some stuff you might like,” Ellie whispers, then stands up, kisses my head, and tells us bye before nearly running out the door. Cash gives me a questioning look as she goes out, but I don’t know what got into her either.

  Carlie keeps us busy for hours, begging to play every board and card game Ellie has stashed in the TV cabinet. I must be distracted and keeping too close of an eye on my phone, checking to see if she’s texted me back, because Cash keeps making a point of ragging on me about it every chance he gets. He’s lucky I haven’t thrown it at him.

  She’s been with me so much the past few weeks and especially this last one, that I suppose I’m having a bad case of separation anxiety.

  But damn, why would groceries take three hours anyway?

  She finally gets back safe, and I feel like I can breathe again. Turns out she wasn’t just getting groceries, she also went shopping for some more clothes since she hadn’t planned on needing many while she was here. Then she says she has a surprise for me. She goes back outside for a minute, and comes back in carrying my baby girl.

  “Roxie! Where you been girl?” I call out when I see them coming my way. Ellie almost drops her when Roxie starts to flail in her arms trying to get to me. As soon as Ellie puts her in my lap she goes nuts. She’s always happy to see me when I come home from work, but it’s never been like this. She’s whining and crying like she thought she’d never see me again. I’ve never seen her shake and tremble the way she is. It’s pitiful.

  “Aww, girl. It’s okay. I’m so sorry Daddy had to leave you. Shhh, calm down, I’m right here, baby. Yeah, you get to stay with me now, it’s okay,” I try to calm her down before she accidentally hurts me. She calms a little, but has to lick and smell me all over, too. It’s not easy, but manage to keep her off my shoulder and leg.

  I look over to Ellie to tell her thanks for bringing her, and she’s wiping away tears despite her smile. “What are you crying for?” I smirk at her.

  “Nik! What do you mean, why am I crying? Look at you two. The poor thing is acting like she thought you left her forever. I hate that I waited this long to go get her, bless her heart. It’s so sad, but so sweet,” she nearly wails.

  I laugh at her, kissing her cheek when she leans over my shoulder to pet Roxie. “Thank you, for bringing her.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetie,” she whispers and turns t
o kiss me on the lips. Of course, just when her tongue starts to glide across them for the first time in days Roxie decides she needs a kiss, too.

  “Ahh! No doggie kisses, Roxie!” Ellie squeals jumping back from us. “I’m gonna go help Cash while you two have your reunion, okay? Y’all can kiss in private,” she laughs as she walks away.

  I sigh and roll my eyes, wrapping Roxie’s face in my hands and shaking her gently. “I’m glad to see you, but I’ll send you back to Scott if you turn out to be a cock blocker, you hear me?”

  ~

  Cash and Carlie left soon after Ellie got home. She stays busy for the next couple of hours, putting up groceries, doing laundry, and cooking supper, too. I feel like such an asshole sitting here doing nothing while she works, but I don’t have much choice right now. I’ll definitely be doing my part to help as soon as I can move around better. I could at least sit and fold laundry.

  She picked up a Boston butt from the barb-b-que place I love, and the smell of it warming in the oven is making my mouth water. That stuff is better than sex, and I LOVE sex. Five minutes later she comes out of the kitchen, and sits on the arm of the sofa beside me. “Where do you want to eat tonight?”

  “Here’s fine, we can watch some more Lost,” I tell her. I like cuddling with her after we finish eating.

  “All right, give me ten minutes, and I’ll be back with everything.” She leans over and kisses the top of my head. “Does she need putting out while we eat?” she asks, pointing at Roxie asleep in my lap. She hasn’t left it since she got here.

  “Ummm, you can let her out for a few minutes. She probably won’t run off since she knows I’m in here, and she’s not a big beggar, she knows she’ll get some when I’m done.”

  “Okay, we’ll be back,” she smiles, picking up Rox, and heading towards the front of the house.

  A little while later we’re finished eating, Ellie has the kitchen cleaned up, and we’ve got the next episode of Lost going while the three of us snuggle on the couch. Despite my broken bones, life couldn’t get much better for me. If I don’t think about it too hard, it’s almost like we’re married. I never even thought about getting married before Ellie came along, not even about being part of a couple period. I guess it just takes the right one to come along before you do.

  “Sawyer, you are such an ass! Can you believe he did that?” Ellie fusses at the TV then looks at me incredulously.

  I haven’t really been watching, so I just smile and shake my head at her for getting so worked up about a TV show, then pull her close, and kiss the top of her head. “I love you.”

  Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?

  As quiet as she is I’m gonna have to go with yes.

  Damnit, I didn’t mean to tell her yet. It slipped out before I could stop it.

  I don’t know which one of us is more surprised, me or her. She’s still as a statue laying against my side, but she hasn’t run away screaming yet, so I’ll take that as a good sign. After a few seconds, she looks up at me. I can tell by her face she doesn’t know what to say, so I save her from having to respond.

  I lean over and kiss her head again, while running my fingers through her hair. “Sorry I sprung that on you, it was supposed to be a secret for a while longer. Apparently, it didn’t want to stay hidden any more. I only realized it myself a few days ago. I felt it from the moment I laid eyes on you though. I didn’t know what it was I was feeling, but I knew you were what I wanted, who I needed. I think I have been waiting for you for a long time, and didn’t know that either.”

  She stares up at me, her eyes welling with tears. “Nik…” she starts, but doesn’t seem to be able to find her next word.

  I pull her to me. She easily follows my lead, tucking herself into the crook of my neck, letting out a small sob. “Shhhhh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I whisper, rubbing her back.

  Please, God, tell me I haven’t screwed myself.

  She clings to me, but stays quiet so I try to fix my word vomit. “You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t say it to hear you say it back, but I want you to know that I meant it. I do. I love you. I’ve loved you for days, for weeks already. Nothing has to change between us, and it’s okay if you don’t love me back yet, or if you can’t ever love me. I’ll still love you just like I did yesterday, and just like I will tomorrow. I don’t want to be anywhere, but right here with you. I’ll stay by you no matter how hard it gets. At least until you tell me to leave anyway,” I confess, kissing her hair.

  She’s doesn’t respond for another few seconds, then pulls back to look at me, her face all red and her eyes already puffy.

  Damnit, I’m such a dick. My filter is for shit.

  “God, Ellie, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything, okay? I won’t say it again, I swear,” I promise her quickly while I brush her hair back from her face and wipe at her tears.

  Her big blue eyes are desperately searching mine for something, but I don’t know what. I’m surprised when she reaches up and runs her fingertips over my eyebrow, then down the side of my face to my lips. “Thank you,” she says, barely above a whisper.

  Thank you? Thank me for what? For loving her, or for promising not to say it again?

  I have to ask, even if I’m afraid of the answer. “For what?”

  “For loving me when I don’t even love myself. You’re too good for me,” she whispers, closing her eyes causing a few more tears to fall.

  I pull her awkwardly towards my lap with my good arm, but she easily figures out what I want and straddles me, laying against my chest and burying her face in my neck again. My arms automatically wrap around her pulling her closer. I try to ignore how warm her center feels pressed tightly over my dick. It takes a huge effort not to press my hips up into hers, but her heart is much more important than he is. I rub her back with my left arm, and caress her neck with the fingers of my other one as I explain the folly of her words.

  “You’ve got it all wrong, hummingbird. You’re the one who’s too good for me, I don’t deserve someone as special as you,” I say, kissing her temple, then cheek.

  She pops up, and looks at me with a scowl. “Don’t say that. You’re good, Nik. All the way to your bones. I’ve never known a man any better than you,” she whispers, all traces of her scowl gone, as she leans in and places a feather light kiss on my cheek. “I think I may have fallen in love with you, too,” she whispers into my ear.

  I freeze for a second, wondering if I heard her right before I push her back gently so I can see if her face matches her words. She’s still crying, but she’s smiling too. I can’t help but smile back at her. “You have?” I ask, but don’t give her time to answer. “It’s okay if you aren’t sure yet. I don’t you to say it until you’re sure. I’ll wait, however long it takes,” I promise her.

  She cups my face in her hands, kissing me softly on the lips before looking at me again. “I know you will, but you don’t have to. My heart’s been yours since I showed you how shattered and broken I was, and you looked back at me like I was still whole, like I’d never been broken in the first place. I’ve loved you ever since. I’ve just been too afraid to admit it,” she sniffles.

  I try to keep my heart from exploding out of my chest by pulling her to me until her forehead rests against mine. I take a few deep breaths, then kiss the tip of her cute nose. “It’s okay, I’ve been afraid, too. Maybe we can learn how to not be afraid together.”

  “I’d like that,” she agrees, her breathing as shaky as my own.

  I close the distance between her lips and mine, kissing her softly. “Say it for me. Please,” I ask, kissing my way from one corner of her mouth to the other.

  “I love you, Nik,” she breathes out.

  They’re the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard. I don’t waste anytime returning them. “God, Ellie. I love you, too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything,” I pant.

  She sucks in a quiet gasp. “Kiss me, please. I may die if you don’t,” she pleads.
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  Hearing the need in her voice, all the pent-up emotions that have been building inside of me for the last several weeks come rushing to the surface as I crash my lips against hers, my tongue immediately seeking her own. I want to devour her. Worship her. Taste every inch of her luscious body then start all over again.

  I try to slow down, so I don’t scare her, but when her hands grip my hair, and her tongue meets mine with as much desperation, I know she’s been fighting this as hard as I have the whole time. Her moans and whimpers are even more proof.

  I pour everything I feel for her into it, and some things I didn’t even know about. I feel like I’m drowning, and she’s my only hope of surviving. I’ve never experienced a kiss so intense, or been so overwhelmed with need before. Never have I wanted to give so much of myself to anyone. I think I could kiss her like this forever, and never need it to go any further.

  Unfortunately, we have no choice but to catch our breath, but we keep as much contact with each other as we can, our hands and lips roaming everywhere they can reach. When my lips find the fresh tears on her cheeks though, I have to stop. I pull back and look at her, suddenly full of worry. She’s flushed and panting with tears streaming from her eyes as she looks back at me. My heart drops straight to the pit of my stomach. “Ellie? What is it? Did I do something—?”

  She shuts me up by pressing her lips over mine. “I swear I’m okay, Nik. Please don’t stop. I don’t want you to stop. I need you,” she whispers, rocking her hips against my straining dick.

  I can’t stop the moan escaping the back of my throat. I can almost feel her velvet heat gripping me already. But we’re not going any further until I’m one hundred percent sure.

  “Are you sure? I want you more than anything right now, but I won’t until I know you’re sure. We can wait. Technically we’ve only really kissed twice, so I don’t want you to think I’m easy.” I wink, trying to ease her tension.

  She lets out a small sob mixed with a laugh, and hugs me for a few seconds. I barely get a chance to hug her back before she sits back up. I will my dick to behave despite her movement, concentrating on her beautiful face instead. She wipes her eyes before taking a deep breath. Letting it out, she finally looks at me again.