Shattered Pearls

by Sidney Parker

  Standing here watching the sun come up, I was reminded of something I read once, It’s a new day and everything starts over. I glanced over at Lucky. He was sitting there calmly, watching the sky. He seemed to understand it, too. As the sun reached the top peak of the mountain and washed the sky, Lucky let out a happy bark. Time to move on, he seemed to say and we set off again.

  I had changed the routine up a lot more these days. Usually I ran through the neighborhoods close to home, but now, since I had a companion, I drove out to some of the more open walking trails. Sometimes the parks, the foothills of Camelback, and over by the college, ASU. There were a few mornings I persuaded Maggie to join us. The first time she laughed at me.

  “I do not do the butt crack of dawn,” was her answer. But then she surprised me and showed up. I had just left a message on her voicemail when she pulled up in her little car. Lucky was ecstatic. I think he adored her as much as me. The first time she came over to meet him, it was love at first sight. A few minutes of sniffing and some enthusiastic kisses and tummy rubs, and Lucky was her willing slave. Or maybe it was the other way around.

  “I can’t believe you got a dog!” she exclaimed. “He is so handsome.”

  “I know, me, a dog owner. I never wanted to be tied down before. I got the idea after all the strange things going on and I was getting nervous being alone here. I started looking on the rescue sites and his pictured popped up. I had to go and check him out. Once I met him, it was all over with, and he came home with me.”

  I had told Maggie about the rock incident when she came by to meet Lucky. We spent the evening trying to figure out who could be behind it but came up empty. There just wasn’t anyone in my past I could think of who would harass me like this.

  It’d been quiet again lately. Once in a while, Lucky acted like he heard something late at night. He would let out a growl and wake me up. We would go investigate but there would be nothing out there.

  This morning we were running some paths along the canal by ASU. There were a few other people moving about, so we were not completely alone. The pace was an easy one as we ran up and down the inclines of the path. A mile and a half into it, Lucky stopped suddenly, causing me to stumble, almost tripping over his large frame. Righting myself, I went to scold him and stopped when I noticed him looking intently toward an area off to my right, dense with vegetation. He let out a low growl and I realized his hackles were raised in warning, causing the hair on the back of my neck to tingle and my body to tense. I could see the area he was staring at, but I couldn’t see anything there through all the overgrown bushes. I pulled on his leash firmly, but Lucky wouldn’t move, he stood his ground as if waiting to attack. I glanced around me and suddenly realized we were alone. Everyone seemed to have disappeared. It was just Lucky, me, and whoever or whatever was hidden beyond my sight. My senses started screaming inside: RUN. I tugged harder on his leash and Lucky let out a sharp bark at the nothingness. His growl grew more menacing, his body lowered as if bracing himself to spring forward to attack.

  “Let’s go!” I commanded sternly.

  Lucky turned his head toward me, then looked back one more time before turning back to me. I tugged at his leash again and he followed, moving to my side to run next to me.

  I picked up the pace of my run, glancing back a few times, but no one seemed to be following. I breathed a sigh of relief as we rounded the corner and I saw other people up ahead. I hated the feeling of being watched and not being able to figure out from where. It was just creepy.

  Spotting the jeep up ahead, I slowed us both down to an easy pace to cool off.

  We walked over and I opened up the back, grabbing a couple of bottles of water. I emptied one bottle into the water dish I kept in the trunk for Lucky and set it down for him. He greedily lapped it up while I drank mine.

  I looked around to see if I could spot anything unusual, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone seemed to be going about his or her business. No one was sneaking around or paying any kind of attention to me. What the hell? I knew I wasn’t imagining things because of Lucky’s reaction, but this was getting old. Every time I finally started to relax and think maybe it was all over with, it started up again.

  Who the hell was watching me? And why?

  Loading up rather quickly, we headed home. Lucky sat straight up in the passenger seat watching the cars go by as if to let people know he was there, guarding me.

  I pulled into my driveway and noticed something rolled up, tucked into the handle of my storm door in the front. After parking the jeep in the garage, Lucky and I walked around to the front and pulled the paper out, expecting to find another ad solicitation for unwanted services. Glancing down at the paper before I tossed it in the garbage can, I realized it was paper torn from a spiral notebook, the edges torn and jagged. Unrolling it slowly, I let out a gasp.

  BITCH

  Written in what looked like a red color crayon. I glanced around me but saw nothing. I wasn’t even sure how long this had been here. I couldn’t remember if I’d walked around this way last night. I usually came and went through my garage door. I used the front only if someone came over. This was starting to really irritate me. Notes, rocks, bottles, and the feeling of being watched.

  Some jerk was trying to scare me, but who? And why? Lucky could sense my agitation and started to pace around me, looking here and there for danger. But there was no one out there. At least not that I could see.

  Taking the note with me, I called Lucky and we scurried into the house, closing the garage door as I went. I felt safer inside with the doors locked, even in the bright light of the morning. Usually it was in the darkness of night I was jumpy.

  I hurried into my office. Officer Campbell had given me his card and I was going to call him about this right away.

  ELLIOT

  I chickened out. Again. I couldn’t bring myself to drive the twenty-two miles it took to get me to Chandler and knock on her door.

  I couldn’t face the rejection.

  Again.

  I’d lost count of the times I’d been in Phoenix the last few months, and every time I told myself, I’m going to call her, I’m going to talk to Emily. And every time … I had a million excuses why I couldn’t.

  When I left her, I thought she would come after me, contact me in some way. Nothing.

  I let my ego stop me from yelling, I made a mistake, I lied.

  I would never forget the day I said it was over. I called her on the phone. What kind of an asshole does that?

  Me, that’s who. I told her I wasn’t in love with her anymore.

  I was lying and I was desperate. I loved her with every breath I took. I still do. Her reaction to my words was what made me question everything.

  In the beginning, everything was so perfect. We both wanted to spend every single minute with one another. When we were apart, it was constant text messaging or phone calls. I remember more than once sitting in a boring meeting with my publishers, texting Emily. The only thing keeping me from falling asleep during those meetings was texting her everything I dreamed of doing to her body when I saw her again. I’m sure my agent still wondered what was putting the smile on my face back then as it sure had been missing for a long time now.

  When the relationship started the downward spiral, I never understood what was happening. It was as if a switch was flipped. This beautiful, happy, crazy woman I fell in love with suddenly became angry and withdrawn. She questioned everything I felt about her, as if she no longer believed me. She became cold and distant at times, only to become clingy and scared the next. I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride every day we were together.

  Emily would go weeks being her fun-loving self, everything normal, laughing, living life. Then out of nowhere, she withdrew into a shell. She wouldn’t talk to me or open up about anything. She hid out, not wanting to go anywhere or see anybody, even me. I felt like I was in a relationship with two different women and it was driving me crazy. I just wanted
to fix whatever was wrong. I blamed myself for whatever it was. Maybe I was gone too much, or I didn’t give her enough attention. I tried everything I could think of to make her happy. I didn’t understand enough back then to realize it didn’t have much to do with me at all.

  When I finally broke things off with Emily, she didn’t react. Her voice never quivered, nor did I even hear a whisper of a hitch in her speech that might have led me to believe there were tears. She simply asked me why.

  I poured my feelings, my frustrations, and my pain out to her. I talked nonstop, without so much as a break for air, but somehow I didn’t think she heard me. After a few minutes there was nothing. I was never sure if the connection was lost or if Emily simply hung up the phone. I never heard from her again. And I’d been waiting for seven years.

  EMILY

  Officer Campbell, or Tom as he told me to call him, was at my door within half an hour.

  I was still in my running clothes, pacing around the house, when he pulled his cruiser into my driveway. I held onto Lucky’s collar as I let him in. I was a little unsure of Lucky’s reaction to another stranger after our morning. Tom held out his hand for him to sniff. Once it was determined he wasn’t a threat, Tom followed me into the kitchen, my ever faithful dog trailing behind. I handed him the note. He read it and looked up at me.

  “Still no idea?” he asked.

  “None at all,” I replied. “This is starting to drive me crazy. I mean, no one has tried to hurt me, or anything like that, but still. I feel like I’m being followed, like someone is watching every move I make. I’m afraid to leave the house anymore. Lucky and I were out running this morning and I had this crazy sensation of being watched. Lucky even stopped once and started growling by a group of trees, but I couldn’t see anyone. When I realized we were alone on the path, we took off pretty quickly and continued our run to where I could see other people. Afterwards we came back here. I was gone for two hours, at the most.

  “I noticed the paper in the door handle when I pulled in. I thought it was just another solicitation. Like I told you on the phone, I can’t even be sure when it was left, as I usually don’t come and go out the front door.”

  I knew I was rambling. My nerves were shot. Every little noise was making me jump and look around. I was suspicious of everyone looking at me. It needed to stop.

  He didn’t say anything at first. Then he looked at me and at Lucky.

  “I’m really happy you bought a dog, and a big one at that. Someone’s stalking you. You realize that, and they are probably harmless, but I don’t think we should take any chances with this. He or she is trying to scare you and get your attention, and it’s working, but … there isn’t a whole lot we can do at this point. They haven’t attempted to harm you in any way or destroyed property … they’re just being a nuisance. I’m going to file another report. Did you look at your security tape?” he asked me.

  I completely forgot about it. It’d been so quiet lately, I spaced out about the security camera.

  “No,” I admitted. “The feed is in my office.”

  I motioned him to follow me in there, and I clicked my computer to play the video from the camera. I went back to early this morning and pressed forward, and we both stared at the monitor. After a few moments, it showed someone casually walking toward the front door. I hit pause, then slow. I could make out someone with a sweatshirt on, hood pulled up over the top of the head, looking down at the sidewalk so their face was hidden, the rolled up paper in hand. Whoever it was, reached out and stuffed it under the handle of the door latch and turned around, walking quickly away. Not once could I see a face. The only thing that could be determined was that it was a man, tall with a lanky build, baggie jeans hanging off his hips, with ragged looking boxers showing over the top. On his large feet were scuffed and beat up work boots that had seen better days. His hands, from what I could see from the camera, were cut up and rough as if he worked in construction or something like that. And he appeared to be white, nothing else.

  Tom looked at me, but I shook my head. Without being able to see his face, I didn’t know who he was.

  The time stamp showed the note being left just after seven this morning, thirty minutes after Lucky and I went to ASU.

  That was significant.

  It proved whoever was stalking me had been watching the house early that morning. I looked up at Tom.

  “He was watching me this morning,” I stated.

  My voice trembled, my uneasiness apparent.

  “It seems that way,” he answered.

  “What do I do?” I asked him.

  This was getting way too close for my comfort level. A man I didn’t know was watching me, following me around. He knew when I left my house. And he seemed to be invisible. Why? What did he want with me?

  “Just be careful. Watch your surroundings. Don’t go out by yourself unless you have to. Everything you have been doing is the right thing. Keep doing it. And whenever possible, keep Lucky with you. He is going to keep anyone who makes you uneasy away from you. Let him guard you. That’s what he does best, protect you. And can you make a copy of the security feed for me? I want to have one of our guys take a closer look.”

  I slipped a memory card into the side of my laptop while Tom stooped down to my dog, who was curled up by my feet, scratched his ears, and rubbed his hands down Lucky’s back.

  “You’re such a good boy,“ he told him. “You just keep guarding her. Keep her safe.”

  He got up, pocketed the scan disc, and took my hands in his.

  “We’ll get this guy, sooner or later. In the meantime, just remain vigilant of your surroundings. Keep your dog with you or stay in a group. I know George is keeping an eye on you and your house too. Don’t hesitate to call me if anything else comes up. I mean that. If Lucky starts growling in the middle of the night, call 911 first and then me. You have my cell number on that card. Don’t take any chances. Until we know what we are dealing with, just don’t take any chances.”

  I reassured him I would do as he told me and walked him out to his squad car. I could see George hanging out in his garage, waiting to see what was going on. He walked over as soon as he saw Tom and me. We met him at the end of my driveway and filled him in.

  “Damn! I was up at six watching the news in my kitchen,” he said. “I should have been out in the garage.”

  “You can’t spend all your time guarding me, George,” I told him.

  “There’s a TV in the garage. I can watch the news out there too,” he stressed his point.

  I wasn’t going to argue with him. George was hell-bent on watching over me, and to be honest, I didn’t mind a bit.

  “George, call me immediately if you notice anything at all. Someone hanging around that doesn’t belong here. Cars driving by slowly … you know the drill. You used to do surveillance work. Keep me posted. I don’t want this situation to escalate,” Tom said.

  Tom kept stressing the need to be careful and aware of who was around me at all times. I wasn’t used to this. If I had to keep this up for long, I’d go crazy. I might as well lock the door of my house and stay inside until they caught this creep. It was like living in a bubble, never knowing when it would pop or what would happen when it did.

  Each time a car drove by or I heard a noise, I walked to the bay window in my kitchen to check. It was so frustrating because I couldn’t keep my mind on anything. I tried reading, cleaning, even some online shopping, but nothing was taking my mind off the fact that someone out there was watching me.

  I wondered how long it had been going on, how much he’d seen. Had he watched me late at night when I walked my floors in agitation when insomnia hit me, in nothing more than a pair of boy shorts covering my butt? Or when the sadness and the loneliness struck me and I wasted hours crying over what should have been?

  Did it thrill this jerk to witness my pain? Who the hell was he? I could feel my anger growing, replacing the fear of a few minutes earlier. I wasn’t going to let thi
s asshole stop my life. I refused to live in fear just because of some freak out there watching me.

  I wanted to escape somehow, go back in time to a place where everything was good in my life. A time where I felt safe and not on display.

  Why the hell had I screwed up everything? Life would have been so much different now, and I had no one else to blame but myself. I had driven Elliot away, my insecurities, depression, and my bitchiness. The poor man never knew what he was coming home to after a while. Hell, I didn’t even know who I was either and it was me.

  EMILY

  EIGHT YEARS AGO

  It was a melancholy kind of day. The clouds forced the sun to disappear as they grew dark and angry all morning. The forecast was for thunderstorms, a rare occurrence in Arizona. It simply never rained here. I finally shut the television off after hearing the weatherman’s report break in for the tenth time in an hour. Big deal! It was going to rain. All that meant was if I didn’t stay home I might get wet. It made me angry and a little off balance. I didn’t know if it was the possibility of a storm destroying my mood, or the fact I couldn’t get ahold of my emotions.

  One minute, I was happy and dancing around the house as I cleaned up, the next I felt like crying. I felt trapped inside of a box like a caged animal. I wanted to scream and break things, take a glass and shatter it all over the wall. When I felt my arm go back while I held the wine glass I just finished drying, I quickly put it down before I lost control.

  I hated this roller coaster ride I seemed to be on. For the most part, my life was good. I loved my freelance work as an editor. I picked my hours, worked from home, and I was building my clientele base so my income was decent. I only dipped into my inheritance if I had to. I had friends, I lived in a warm place, instead of freezing my ass off all winter, and to top it off, I had the most amazing boyfriend who told me every single day how much he loved me. So why didn’t I believe him? Why did I torture myself with these crazy thoughts of inadequacy?