by Joanna Blake
Maybe get a little place in the burbs for Kyle to run around.
I could do this.
I had to do this.
"When can you start?"
I smiled.
"As soon as you need me."
"Perfect. Let me get the schedule..."
I watched as she added me to the breakfast shift three days that week, giving me a double on Saturday. That was the best money day of the week. I knew she was being more than generous. She talked me through the process of opening up the place and what the morning set up was.
"Who's going to watch the kid?"
"I haven't figured that out yet. Jamie can do it sometimes. Maybe I can hire-"
"Bring the baby here. He can stay in the office in a playpen. I think I still have one in storage from when my kids were younger."
I opened my mouth.
"That would be amazing. Are you sure?"
She squeezed my hand.
"Yes, honey. I'm sure."
Chapter Six
Drew
"Get up."
I cracked one eye open, staring up at the woman standing over me. She was glaring at me with piercing green eyes, her full lips pressed into a line. I flinched, half expecting her to dump cold water on me as she'd been known to do.
My sister Janine. She had a wicked glint in her eye and a coffee pot in her hand. I exhaled. I was not a teenager anymore. I did not need my big sister to wake me up!
"What the hell, J?"
She grinned at me and splashed iced cold water all over me.
"Mother fu-"
"Uh uh uh. You are the last person on Earth who should be using that particular phrase."
I glared at her, pulling off my damp shirt. It was early. And she didn't live here anymore.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. I do come here to do more than clean up after you heathens, you know."
I grimaced. I still lived in our family home with my brother. Our folks were long gone, ever since I was a kid. My sister had more or less raised me, which is probably why she felt like she could talk to me that way.
"One: Mom would roll over in her grave if she saw that kitchen. You are going to help me clean this house. And two: well, you just have to wait for number two."
I gave her a suspicious look but got up and pulled some clothes on. She just clucked her tongue and went into the kitchen.
Janine came over a couple times a month to make sure we were eating well and not living in total filth. She stocked the fridge and put a few home cooked meals in the freezer. Not that we were going hungry.
We ate over at her place and the cafe a lot too.
Never mind the firehouse.
She was muttering under her breath as she stalked back to the kitchen. I stood up and grabbed a shirt, following her in. She tossed me a mop and gave me a look that said 'get to work.'
The kitchen smelled like fresh coffee and that old school cleaning stuff our mother had used that smelled like pine. It reminded me of being a kid. I didn't complain once while we cleaned up the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later we were sitting at the kitchen table and sipping our coffee. My hangover was almost manageable for some reason. Until she slid her phone over to me.
A baby stared up at me from the screen.
"When were you going to mention that you have a kid?"
I blinked, taking a second look. He had dark eyes and a mop of hair. Good looking kid. He definitely could have been mine.
"Wasn't sure he was mine."
SMACK
I grabbed my head and moaned.
"Ow! Jesus Christ Janine!"
"You moron. That baby is the spitting image of you. And Neddy isn't the type to mess around."
"How do I know that? She ditched me and vanished without a trace, remember?"
"She had a damn good reason to!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! Number one, you're an idiot. Number two, you're a manwhore and she knows that. Number three, the girl was pregnant with nowhere to fucking go! Her brothers kicked her out, did you know that?"
I shrugged, trying to hide the sharp stab of guilt at the thought of Kennedy tossed out on her ass. Her perfect, round, juicy ass. She must have been scared as hell. But she should have told me dammit!
"No. I didn't."
"She had this baby all alone because she thought you wouldn't want it. She never asked you for a fucking thing. All she did was fall in love with the wrong guy."
I sat up and stared at her, a crazy hopeful feeling in my chest.
"Love?"
She glared at me and yanked the coffee away.
"You don't deserve my coffee. My own flesh and blood..."
"What?"
She pointed at me.
"You are a deadbeat dad. That kid, Kyle, he deserves better. And you are going to be there for him. I don't give a shit if you are too stupid to snap Kennedy up for yourself. She'll be swarmed with smarter guys. But that baby is getting everything you got, or else."
"What did you say?"
"I said, you are going to help support that baby and you are going to bring him over to meet his uncles. As soon as fucking possible!"
"No. The name."
"His name is Kyle."
"She named him... after Kyle? Why?"
"You really are an idiot."
Janine left a few minutes later, leaving me alone in the house. Patrick and Stew were already at work. So it was just me and my thoughts.
Janine thought Kennedy loved me. If that was true... why the hell had she run? Unless Janine was right and she thought I wasn't up for the job.
She'd named the kid Kyle. I could not get that out of my head. She knew how much I loved my cousin.
She knew I blamed myself for his death.
She knew.
I picked up my phone and scrolled down to the number marked 'Do Not Call. Ever.'
I called.
Kennedy
I smoothed Kyle's hair over his forehead. It kept curling up. Normally I found his wavy hair adorable but right now I was nervous.
I wanted everything to be perfect.
Drew was coming over to meet his son.
I had Kyle in his dressiest onesie. I'd made it myself. The fabric had been a gift from my Aunt Selene and I had been saving it for his first time in church. Meeting his daddy was close enough.
He had a tiny cardigan on his cute little shoulders. I tugged it into place as he chewed on his fingers, kicking his little feet. I had put shoes on him, which he hated. The boy loved to be naked.
Just like his daddy.
I blushed, remembering how comfortable Drew had been without his clothes on. Unlike me, who tried to keep covered up at all times. He'd had lots of fun teasing me about that.
And trying to get my clothes off at every possible moment.
I blushed, wondering why I had to start thinking about that now. This was the worst possible moment to remember... all that. I tucked my shirt into my long skirt and paced back and forth, trying to cool off my warm cheeks.
The buzzer rang. Of course he would show up exactly when I'd been thinking about his naked body. His strong, muscular, bronzed, manly, perfect in every way body.
I opened the door and he stood there, looking at me like I was a stranger. I guess I was. A stranger he'd made a baby with, yes, but a stranger all the same. I cleared my throat and tried to smile. He didn't smile back.
Aaaaawkward.
"Come in."
He hesitated and then walked through the door. It wasn't like he hadn't been here before. We'd used Jamie's place to meet up all the time.
Trying to hide our fling from the entire neighborhood was a lot of work.
If it weren't for my little man I'd say we should have just stayed away from each other. Obviously it hadn't worked out too good. I was heart broken and even Drew appeared to be upset about it.
But the little man... he was worth anything. Even this.
I shut the
door and walked over to Kyle. He was strapped into his little seat with wheels. He hadn't walked yet, but the chair was supposed to encourage him to try. He just wiggled around in there and smiled.
So far my kid had showed zero signs of being ahead of the curve in any way but charm. He was gorgeous and he liked to flirt with everything that came his way.
Again, just like his daddy.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Drew knelt down on the floor, staring at Kyle like he was an alien. I was so nervous that my voice came out barely above a whisper.
"So. This is..."
"Kyle. I heard."
He glanced at me and then back at the baby.
"Does he have a middle name?"
I shook my head, then realized he wasn't looking at me. He was smiling at the baby, reaching out to shake his chubby little hand.
"No. Not yet. I wasn't sure..."
But Drew wasn't listening to me as I trailed off. He was staring at his son with a serious expression on his face. The baby stared at Drew in awe. Almost like he knew this was a momentous occasion.
"It's nice to meet you Kyle."
Kyle cooed adorably and that was it. I literally saw him steal Drew's heart. His eyes were softer when he glanced at me this time.
"Can I hold him?"
I nodded, relieved this was going so well.
"Yes, of course. Why don't you sit down? He wiggles around a lot."
He watched me from the couch as I unstrapped Kyle and carried him over. I tried not to get too close as I leaned forward to settle him in Drew's lap. But it was close enough to smell him. Pine and warmth and that smell that was just... him.
I melted inside.
Drew smelled exactly the same as I remembered. So good it made me want to sit in his lap with the baby. I took a sharp step back to avoid actually doing that. It was a close thing.
I sat at the other side of the couch. About three feet away. I figured it was the minimum safe distance.
Any farther and I'd be in the kitchen.
We sat there in silence as Drew held Kyle for the first time. After a while I started trying to think of something to say. And then I did the worst possible thing ever.
I blurted.
"I didn't think you would call."
He didn't look at me. He was just staring at the baby, an unreadable look on his face. Then he did look at me and I felt it clear down to my toes.
"Neither did I."
I didn't know what to say to that. And looking at him was making it hard to think. His eyes were so serious. So unlike the smiling, flirtatious eyes I remembered.
"If you want to get a paternity test you can. I already made a list of places."
I jumped up and grabbed my purse. I pulled out a little notebook. I tugged at the page, tearing it out.
When I walked back to the couch he was staring at me.
"Do I need to get a test, Kennedy?"
It all came rushing back. All the times we'd made love. All the times he'd held me. And now he was asking me if Kyle was his. I shook my head.
"No. I told you. You're the only one I've..."
I squared my shoulders. This was pointless. There was no use in trying to convince him of anything. I wasn't going to spend another minute worrying what he thought of me.
I couldn't. It hurt too much. I swallowed and forced myself to finish.
"But I understand that you don't believe... anything I say. I don't know why but... so if it will make you feel better you should..."
I trailed off, feeling like an idiot. The biggest playboy in the whole hood was sitting on my couch, and I was offering him proof of my innocence. He was the one who'd had a different girl every night! Even while we were together!
"I don't expect any money or anything. But if a test will make you want to be around for him... he could use a-"
I was horrified as my eyes started to fill with tears.
Thankfully, Jamie chose that moment to come home. I stood up hastily, hoping Drew hadn't noticed my watery eyes.
"Stay as long as you want. I- I have to run out. Errands. Jamie can put him down for his nap."
And then I ran like the coward I was.
I forgot my phone and my purse. I just stood up and walked to the door. I was wobbly. Shaking a little. I stepped onto the front porch, gulping air. And then I ran.
I ran blindly, wiping the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand. I was wearing my 'good' shoes. The ones I had for interviews and special occasions. Little black ballet flats that felt like they were about to fly off my feet.
Yeah, they were cute but they sure weren't made for running.
I had to slow down when I nearly tripped over the uneven pavement. That would be the last thing I needed. Instead I wandered towards the park, wondering how long I had to wait to go back. I couldn't deal with seeing Drew again.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
I was pretty much a puddle of goo around him. I always had been. Even back in high school I'd had eyes for him. All the girls had.
I could still see him, hanging out in the park with a cigarette dangling from his lips. He'd have his arm slung over some pretty girl's shoulder every time I saw him. He'd been one of the 'bad kids' but that didn't stop girls from flocking to him. And offering him... everything.
Even back then, if he'd so much as crooked his finger... I would have come running.
There was no one like him. Brash, brazen, and with those movie star looks... he'd drawn girls to him like a moth to a flame. I was just one of many.
I was Drew's latest conquest.
If that. I'd been gone a while now. I was sure he'd had dozens of girls while I was gone, no matter what Jamie said. There was no reason for me to act so silly. This wasn't a fairytale. There was no happy ending waiting for me. He was definitely not Prince Charming.
I had to snap out of it.
If he was going to be in Kyle's life, I owed it to my son to hold it together. Get Drew out of my head and my heart so I could deal with him in a mature, responsible way.
I had to move on.
It was an hour later when I walked back in the front door. Jamie took one look at me and opened her arms. I collapsed against her and the water works came in earnest.
I had thought I was done crying.
I wasn't even close.
Chapter Seven
Drew
I stretched my neck, waking up from a power nap. When you drank yourself into a stupor every night, you needed all the rest you could get. Thankfully, it was a slow day so I could catch some z's upstairs.
I stumbled down the stairs, wondering where the fuck everyone was. I saw them outside, looking at something. The second I walked outside the guys turned around and immediately started acting like they were choirboys.
Something was up, that was for damn sure.
"Look, it's sleeping beauty."
I nodded at Lowe. He gave me an uneasy look.
"What are you guys staring at?"
"Nothing man. Why don't you go pick us up some lunch?"
Cooper grinned at me but Lowe shook his head.
"Don't be a dick, Coop."
"Why not? It's my favorite passtime."
I leaned against the firehouse and closed my eyes. It was warm in the sun. I could probably take another nap, but I was starving.
"Why isn't the probie cooking?"
"He's making meatloaf."
I cracked an eye.
""Nuff said."
Lowe shuddered dramatically. Meatloaf was never a good bet. I missed Kyle. Now that man knew how to cook.
I shrugged.
"Fine. I'll get lunch. What do you want?"
Everyone jotted down their orders and I started walking towards the cafe.
"Wait up, I'll go with you."
I gave Lowe a look. He was acting weird. He might be my best friend, but he was acting like we were a couple of girls.
"Do you want to hold hands too?"
"
Shut up, ya prick."
That was more like it. I shook my head and headed to the cafe. There were loads of people eating outside because it was so nice. A waitress bent over a table, giving us an eyeful. That must have been what the guys were looking at. Long dark hair. Perfect, long legs. Tiny waist. A nice, curvy ass.
A familiar curvy ass.
I stopped in my tracks.
"Keep walking Drew. They are all watching."
I cursed and started moving. No wonder the guys were staring. Kennedy was on display. It was the perfect double whammy.
She was eye candy alright.
But she was also the woman who had brought me low, and all the guys in my company knew about it. I'd lost my damn mind when she disappeared. I had gotten way too drunk and spilled my guts to Cooper. Lowe knew too but he would never talk. Cooper on the other hand...
That was it. The cat was out of the bag. And Kennedy was the cat.
I swallowed and took her in. What a sweet looking kitty she was. And that was just one angle.
Like I said, a double whammy for the boys. They loved to try and get my goat. Everyone except Lowe, who knew how much she'd really meant to me.
Not that I said much about it, after those first few weeks. He just knew.
Kennedy finished taking an order and walked back inside. Hell, the woman didn't walk. She glided. Almost like she was too good for this Earth.
Maybe she was.
"You want to wait outside?"
"No."
I wasn't going to hide just because she was in there. I would just avoid looking at her. Or try to anyway. Yeah, I would be ice cold and impersonal. Eyes on the ground.
That didn't work out too good.
From the moment we walked in the door, I was aware of her.
Not just aware. I was honed in. Like a wolf stalking a little bunny.
Yeah. Kennedy was dinner. And I was starving.
The competent way she worked, refilling coffee with a smile, or moving around the tables unobtrusively. She was grace personified. She was beauty. I let my eyes drink her in, wanting to store her away inside me.
And then she slipped in the back to check on the baby. I knew, because she left the door open. I could see her every move as she scooped up the tiny bundle. The sight of her with our child did something to me.