by Joanna Blake
It had since the first time I saw them together in the park.
It was more than the usual lust and longing I felt when I looked at her.
It was more like being dropped off a cliff. But, somehow, not being afraid about the landing.
I was free falling.
I realized my mouth was open and shut it. But I didn't look away. I couldn't.
Thankfully, Lowe put in our order. He even got me a sandwich, even though I hadn't written anything down. I barley noticed.
I reminded myself to buy him a beer later as I watched Kennedy press a kiss to the baby's forehead and stand. I tried to look away as she came back into the front room. I tried and I failed.
She saw me.
It was only about three heartbeats that we stared into each other's eyes but it felt like eternity.
She opened her lips to say something and I turned away. I was too afraid to hear what she had to say. Me, the big, strong fireman, was afraid of a tiny, beautiful woman.
But there it was.
Kennedy scared the shit out of me.
Lowe didn't say a word as we walked back to the firehouse. He didn't say a word the rest of our shift. It was not until we were at the bar, staring at nothing that he opened his mouth to address the elephant in the room.
"So, a kid huh?"
"Yeah."
"Yours?"
"Supposedly."
I felt sick the moment I said it. I knew Kyle was mine. I knew Kennedy was a virgin when I'd fallen for her. She hadn't slept around while she was with me. The idea was sickening. Laughable. Absurd.
"It's mine."
"Congrats, man."
He slapped my back and I looked at him. For the first time I realized I was lucky. Even if Kennedy was a liar, she had given me a child.
I was a daddy.
I smiled.
"Thanks brother."
Kennedy
"Look at you."
I looked up from the sofa where I was lying under a blanket. I slept on a tiny twin bed in the room with Kyle's crib most of the time, but I usually fell asleep on the couch watching TV with Jamie. A lot of times she went out and I was alone.
I didn't mind being alone. It was easier. She had a social life and I didn't. I was just starting to try and build a new life for my son and I.
A good one, I hoped.
But for the time being I was watching a lot of TV. Too much probably. Sad stuff mostly. Love stories and vampires. I was also eating mass quantities of ice cream.
Eventually I'd sneak into the room and sleep till dawn, just to be there when Kyle woke up.
Yeah, I was pretty much the stereotype of a lovelorn woman.
"Pathetic."
"What?"
Jamie had her arms crossed over her chest.
"It's not even ten o'clock."
"So?"
"And it's not even cold out. Who are you, Nanook of the North?"
I snuggled deeper into the blanket.
"It's cozy."
"You look like a human burrito."
I gasped as she tried to rip the blanket away from me. We tussled for a minute. And then she won. I slumped on the couch in my sweatpants and an ancient t-shirt. Even my socks had holes.
"Just like I thought. Sweatpants. Not even cute ones either."
I scowled at her, reaching for the blanket again.
"I bet you didn't even shave your legs."
"Me and my lack of hygiene are of no concern to you."
She grabbed the blanket again and yanked. This time I held on for dear life. She let go and I fell back onto the cushions.
"You need to get laid."
"Ew. Don't be disgusting."
"Look, if you aren't going to even make a token effort to get Drew back, you should at least cleanse the pallet with someone new. It's the fastest way to get over someone."
I closed my eyes, unwilling to tell her she just made me wonder how many girls Drew had slept with to get over me.
Nope nope nope!
Not my business.
Don't go there.
DO. NOT. GO. THERE.
Shit.
I went there.
Visions of Drew with numerous women paraded through my head. Him kissing them. Cuddling them. Fuh- ahem- making love to them. It was far too realistic.
It made me feel like my innards were on the outside.
"What? Why are you crying? Burritos don't cry."
I laughed through the tears, sitting up to make room for Jamie on the couch.
"I was just wondering how many girls it took for him to..."
"Get over you? As far as I know, it's zero."
"It's kind of hard to believe that."
She shrugged.
"Yeah but it's true. I'm almost a hundred percent sure."
"How?"
She smiled at me secretively.
"I might have spies in the department. And the bar. And... well, I'm friends with Lowe."
Now she had my attention. Lowe was Drew's best friend. Had been forever. Other than his late cousin Kyle.
"You are?"
She blushed a little.
"We have a little... flirtation going on. And we both care about you dumbasses."
She sighed dramatically.
"It's too bad he can't see you now. You look sooo hot. Drew would fall right back into your arms..."
I threw a pillow at her.
"Shut up. I'm not sure I want him too anyway."
"Liar."
"I don't want to date anyone. I really don't."
She grinned at me.
"Who said anything about dating? I said you needed to get laid. Besides, if Drew comes around, he's coming around hard or else he'll have to deal with me."
She winked.
"And I won't settle for less than marriage."
"Oh, give me a break. Now you're really sounding crazy. He's not the marrying kind. Besides, he's barely speaking to me."
"We'll see. In the meantime, we are going out."
I tucked the blanket around my knees and pulled it up to my chin.
"I really don't want to."
"This is how you repay me? All I want is some company- you can be my wingman. I need some physical affection too, you know."
She held out her arms dramatically.
"I want to feel the weight of a man!"
I sighed.
"Fine."
Jamie perked up immediately.
"Not tonight though. Maybe in a few days."
She slapped my knee and jumped up.
"Thirsty Thursday it is!"
I rolled my eyes and collapsed back onto the couch again, wrapping the blanket around me snugly. Actually, I may have wrapped it too snugly. It was going to take some doing to get out again...
"Don't back out on me."
"Alright. One on condition."
"What?"
I batted my eyes at her.
"Bring me the ice cream."
Chapter Eight
Drew
I leaned against the dark wood, sipping my beer. I wasn't getting shit housed for once. I was just having a nice cold beer with my friend and talking about my fucked up life.
Or gearing up the nuts to talk about it. So far, I'd mostly talked around it and stared numbly into space. Lowe was good company in that regard at least. He didn't push or nag at me like some people I knew.
My sister for one.
I ignored everyone around me as happy hour turned to dinner turned to serious drinkers and people looking to pick someone up. I was feeling loose after a couple of beers. Lowe was definitely feeling it more than I was.
And neither one of us had figured out what to do about Kennedy or the kid.
I was going to step up with the baby, that much was for sure. But what would I do with my baby mama? That was a whole other story.
I had a couple of ideas about what I would like to do... but crawling into bed with her and never coming out again wasn't very realistic. Especially since I could no
t trust her one fucking bit once she was out of my sight. And keeping her in bed permanently wasn't realistic either.
Besides, I didn't really want to let down my guard with anyone, let alone the women who'd pretty much broken me in two.
So that left me, and Lowe and the beer.
I tipped mine back and ordered another. Maybe I should get shitfaced again. Why the hell not? It's not like I had to look after the baby in the morning. I did wonder if I should start baby proofing our beat up old house though...
Lowe was looking at the front door when he exhaled out two little words.
"Holllly shit."
I turned to see what Lowe was looking at and my jaw dropped. Holy shit was right. Hell had just frozen over. Little Miss Priss, Miss Goodie Two Shoes was here. In the bar. My bar.
Looking for trouble from the looks of it.
Kennedy was here.
But... she didn't look like Kennedy.
Gone was the innocent little beauty I'd fallen for, and then lost. This girl was confident. Wild. She oozed sex appeal. From the tight fitting corset top she wore to the frayed denim micro miniskirt and high heeled booties. Her hair was blown out and luxuriously curled at the ends, like she was in a shampoo commercial. Her naturally pouty lips were shiny and red. Her stunning blue eyes were lined with something dark and smoky.
She was hot. She was sex on wheels. And she was already getting way too much attention.
In fact, it looked like the Red Sea had parted as every guy in the place turned to stare at her. I felt my stomach clench up with jealousy. She was going to get swarmed in about thirty seconds. I was going to have to beat off every guy in the place, just to get to her.
Her cousin Jamie smirked at me. I knew that she'd done this to spite me. To torture me.
To get even with me for being a damn jackass.
And it was working.
I growled and slammed my drink down. I strode across the bar and grabbed Kennedy's arm. Then I dragged her right back outside.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?"
She squeaked as I released her. I stood there, panting as she looked at me in shock.
"Drew... I didn't know you would be here."
"Like hell you didn't!"
She fidgeted nervously, tugging on that joke of a skirt. I could shove it up around her waist in a heartbeat.
I was sorely tempted to do just that. Then I'd bend her over my knee and-
"Jamie said I needed to get out. So, we're out."
I clenched my fist, restraining myself. If I didn't, I was afraid of what I might do. I'd start with a firm spanking and then progress to- well, it would end with me fucking her up against the wall in the middle of the street!
This was madness. I had to stop this. I had to get her as far away from me as possible before I did something stupid.
"Go home, Kennedy! I don't want you here!"
Her gorgeous eyes blinked at me. Then she blinked again. I stared at the solitary tear that rolled down her cheek.
I ran my hands through my hair.
"Kennedy... shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."
She pulled her purse tight over her shoulder and shook her head.
"No, it's fine. I should have realized Jamie was up to something. We'll just... I'll go somewhere else."
I stared at her, my jaw clenching.
"You should go home. You're going to start a damn riot! Why are you dressed like that? What are you trying to do to me?"
"To you?"
I clenched my jaw and nodded.
"I'm not trying to do anything to you. I'm leaving. Like you said. Tell- tell Jamie I'll see her at PJ's."
She squared her shoulders and tossed her hair over her shoulder.
"PJ's! Hell, no you are not going to PJ's alone!"
She gave me a cold look.
"I don't see that it's any of your concern. I have a sitter. I'm an adult. I can go anywhere I damn please!"
I snarled at her, taking a step towards her.
"No, you can't."
"Yes. I can."
She was trying to sound tough but she took a step backwards. I followed her until her back was against the wall. She gave me a nervous look. Good.
She should be nervous.
"No. You can't."
I was inches away from her. I could practically taste her lips. She'd always reminded me of strawberries and cream. I wanted to see if she still tasted like that.
I wanted to see if the fire was still burning between us.
That was a lie.
I knew it was. Not just a fire either. A Goddamn conflagration.
An inferno.
And I was going to burn it in. We both were. All night if I had anything to say about it.
Even after everything she'd done, I could not resist her. I'd tried to stay away. And I'd failed.
"Kennedy..."
She stared up at me as I pressed forward until our bodies were touching. I braced one arm against the wall behind her, pressing her into it. She let out a soft sound that was sexy as hell. I groaned as I wrapped omy other arm around her and yanked her chest against mine.
"What are you- doing?"
"I'm going to kiss you."
"Why?"
I couldn't help the bitter smile that settled on my lips.
"Because I cant help it. I can't get you out of my head. That's why."
And then I stopped talking. I stopped thinking. I just felt.
I held her face as I took her mouth, punishing her for all those months I'd missed her. All that time she'd made me wait and wonder. All the pain I'd felt when she left me.
Well, she was back and she was mine.
I didn't care anymore what she'd done. I'd just make sure she didn't leave me again. Not until I had her out of my system. I wouldn't let her.
I was going to tie her to my damn bed if I had to. Permanently. I'd follow her home. I'd never let her out of my sight. Not until I was cured.
No matter how long it took, I wouldn't let her go until I was done.
"Come on."
I took her arm and propelled her down the street. Jamie came out of the bar as we turned the corner. She watched us walk past without saying a word. Kennedy had to practically run to keep up with me.
I was done wasting time.
"Where are we going?"
"Bed."
"What? I told you I didn't want to go home Drew!"
Her voice was high and girlish. Shocked. I grinned. I was going to shock the hell out of her by dawn. Three times at least.
Probably four.
"My bed. She'll see you in the morning, Jamie."
Jamie just smiled and waved goodbye. I knew she'd been up to something. She looked very pleased with herself. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself too.
Kennedy stumbled in those high heels she was wearing. Her cousin had dressed her up for my benefit and it had worked. I'd broken my will to resist her. But I didn't care anymore. I just picked her up and kept walking without missing a beat. My girl wasn't used to wearing heels.
My girl. And she was. For as long as I wanted her.
She wasn't getting away from me twice.
I felt a smile creep up to my lips. I'd tell her not to dress up like this again. I didn't need every guy sniffing after her. It was bad enough as it was with her looking like one of those pure soap commercials.
That was one of the things I liked about her. Her beauty was all natural. I squeezed her, stealing a glance at her face. She was staring up at me in awe, looking like a sweet little sex kitten. Her chest was pushed up and out in that top, her creamy skin swelling above the low cut neckline.
Then again, this look did have its merits.
"Drew-"
"No talking."
I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to tell her how shattered I'd felt when she left. I didn't want to tell her I was still picking up the pieces.
I just wanted to take. What I wanted. What she owed me.
I needed r
elief from this unrelenting lust. After a few months of lots and lots of sex I might be able to let go. Then it wouldn't matter if she was a liar or wanted to run out on me again.
But until then, her ass was mine.
Kennedy
"What are you doing Drew?"
He smiled at me, pulling his boots off.
"What does it look like?"
I was in his house, standing in his bedroom. He'd carried me up here. I should have said something. I should have stopped him.
But I just stood there, watching him pull his clothes off. He unbuttoned his shirt and my mouth went dry. His big strong chest was so familiar. I wanted to curl up against it.
If only he'd wrap his arms around me and hold me.
If only he'd tell me that everything was going to be okay.
But he didn't.
"Here's what's going to happen."
He reached for his jeans and undid the top button.
"You are going to get into my bed."
He leaned over me, with my back pressed against the door. I was thinking about running. But I was blocking my own way out.
I was also thinking about doing exactly what he told me to.
"And you are going to stay there until I tell you it's okay to go."
He leaned in closer and I turned my head. His breath fanned my ear and I shivered.
"You are not going to mess around with anyone else. You are not going to run off. You are going to be a good, obedient girl."
I gasped. He was an ass! Did he really think I was going to just- do exactly what he told me to?
His fingertips grazed my throat and slid down my side. I felt goosebumps rise up all over my body. I was hot and cold at the same time.
His rough hands were gentle as he turned my chin to face him.
"You are mine. For as long as I say. The kid too. I'll be a good daddy."
And then he kissed me.
If he hadn't mentioned Kyle like that... if he had kept spouting his arrogant nonsense... I would have left.
But he did mention Kyle.
And his lips felt so good against mine...
I didn't run. I didn't even move. Not as he kissed me. Not as he slowly pulled my clothes off.
Not even when he lifted me up and carried me to the bed.
I was helpless to resist him. His touch... his hands on my body felt so good. I could barely think at all, even with the warning bells going off in my mind that something was different... that something wasn't right.