by Joanna Blake
She looked like a cute little bunny that had been flushed out by the big bad hunter. I just smiled softly, not saying a word.
But I was more affected than I let on. By the time we got to my sister's house I was hard as a rock. We both stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. I cleared my throat.
"Are you sure you won't come in?"
She shook her head desperately, like she couldn't wait to get away from me. I smiled to myself. I wasn't going to make any of this easy for her.
"Sorry. I can't."
"Oh right. You have plans."
She stared at me, like she was about to say something. I was praying it wasn't that she had a date. I knew all she had to do was snap her fingers and she'd have a line of guys around the block waiting to go out with her.
And that was just Brooklyn.
Shit. Of course she had a date. I was an idiot. I'd chased her right into some other guy's arms by telling her the truth.
And any one of those guys would probably give her everything they had. They wouldn't be like me, a liability with a death wish. They wouldn't just want to fuck her out of their system.
Maybe she was better off without me.
Maybe I should do the decent thing and let her go.
Even if she'd deserted me, she was still a good person. She deserved to be happy. But I didn't want her to be happy.
I wanted her to be miserable. With me. So we could be miserable together.
I looked down at her as she helped me take the baby out of the stroller. Her gorgeous face was tender as she pressed her cheek against his. So soft... and sweet.
I felt my insides turn over.
I made a decision then. I was keeping her for myself. To hell with doing the honorable thing. I wanted her. And that was the end of it.
"Kennedy..."
She looked up at me, the realization that I was about to kiss her written all over her face. She froze like a deer in headlights. But I didn't kiss her lips. I just brushed my lips against her cheek softly. I let my fingers graze her arms as I lifted the baby away.
She stared at me, a trace of disappointed surprise in her eyes. I hid my grin. I would break down her defenses. I didn't care how long it took.
I was going to win.
I took her hand and brushed my thumb over her palm.
"I feel like I should walk you home now."
She let out a startled laugh.
"It's six o'clock at night. Besides, I just walked you here."
I grinned at her lopsidedly. She had a point there. I liked it when she laughed. It had been a long time since I heard that sound.
"True. I guess I'll have to wait."
"Wait? For what?"
"To... spend more time with you."
I bit my lip and her eyes widened. I didn't elaborate but we both knew what I was talking about. Then I shrugged.
"I'll see you later then. If you're not out."
"I-"
She stopped herself, shaking her head. I was hoping she'd tell me she wasn't going out. If she was out with somebody, I was going to be very, very upset.
Of course, I was going to text her cousin Jamie the moment I got inside to find out.
"Goodnight Drew."
"Goodnight Kennedy."
I stood there with Kyle, watching her walk down the street alone.
Kennedy
I walked home in a daze. I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me. Not only was Drew being nice, he was being too nice.
He was almost... shy.
Drew Callaway did not do shy. It was not in his DNA. He'd been born knowing everything about girls. That's what made him such an expert seducer.
I stopped short.
That's what he was doing now. He was seducing me. The caveman angle hadn't worked, so now he was trying sweetness. But it was all a lie.
I closed my eyes.
Don't do it Kennedy. Don't be a fool.
I could not give into him. I barely had any self-respect left as it was. I had to be strong, no matter how sinfully sweet it would be to give in.
But how I'd felt when I saw his injury... how I'd felt when he almost kissed me... I did not know how I was going to handle it if he kept that up.
I'd have to avoid him. That was all. I'd do the mature thing.
I'd hide.
I walked home slowly and up into the living room. I didn't have to say a word. Jamie just knew.
She patted the couch and I sat down.
"How'd that go?"
I didn't say anything. I closed my eyes and reached for the blanket, kicking off my shoes. In less than a minute I was back inside my blanket burrito. I even pulled it over my head.
Jamie tugged the top down and looked at me.
"I want to set you up with someone. A guy I met through that charity thing I do sometimes."
I pulled the blanket back up.
"No Jamie."
"Come on, he's great. Besides it will drive Drew crazy. Trust me-"
She pulled the blanket down. I pulled it back up.
"No."
"Neddy... I will tickle torture you if you don't say yes."
She started pinching my sides so I stuck my head out of the blanket and glared at her.
"If he's so great, why don't you go out with him?"
"He's too squeaky clean for me. But for you, he's perfect. Unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you are still hoping to make it work with Drew."
She was watching me expectantly. She looked disappointed when I shook my head.
"No. He already fooled me twice. I can't let myself be that much of an idiot. He only ever wanted..."
She grinned at me.
"What Neddy? Say it."
I scowled at her.
"'Fucking' right? That's what you were going to say."
"Ugh, stop."
"He was good at it right? Made your toes curl?"
I clamped my lips shut.
"Don't."
"Why not? If you're so over him, you might as well give me the dirt."
I exhaled shakily. Fine. If she wanted dirt, I'd give it to her.
"Fine! Yes... he was good. The way he touched me... like I was made of fine china one minute and then rough- like he would go crazy if we weren't as close as we could get. He knew exactly where to touch me- how light or how hard- at any given moment. He played me perfectly... I was putty in his hands. I did whatever he wanted me to do. He saw everything. He took everything. Until I had nothing left."
I stood up. Jamie's mouth was open.
"I have nothing left for him or anyone else. So please, don't ask again."
I walked in my bedroom and shut the door.
Chapter Twelve
Drew
I was waiting outside when Kennedy carried the stroller down the porch stairs. I'd planned ahead, texting with her cousin Jamie. I knew she was taking Kyle for a walk. I also knew she had the rest of the day off from my sister.
Maybe it was a little bit stalker-ish. But I was determined to continue what I'd started the night before. I would get her back into my bed. And soon.
Otherwise I would lose my damn mind.
What was left of it anyway.
Kennedy didn't seem to be giving in all that easy though. She'd even hidden last night when I brought the kid back.
Now she stopped short for a split second when she saw me. I was pretty sure I saw her actually flinch. She just busied herself setting up the stroller.
"Hey."
She barely glanced at me. She just snapped the stroller into place and pulled the straps to the sides. I stuck my hands into my pockets, feeling like a complete ass.
"You aren't even going to say hi to me Kennedy?"
She exhaled deeply and gave me a nod. Ouch. I wasn't used to being ignored by any woman, let alone one that had been calling out my name in ecstasy less than a week ago.
"Hi."
She ran upstairs and came back with the baby, a heavy bag slung over her sho
ulder. I knew the kid wasn't light. I reached for him.
"Let me help you."
"I got it."
"Kennedy..."
"I said I got it."
I stepped back and watched as she strapped the kid in. He grinned at me. Damn if that didn't make me feel all warm and gooey inside.
"I think he recognized me!"
She gave me a sour look.
"Of course he does. He's a baby, not a moron."
Ouch. Okay, so she was not in a good mood. I could handle cranky Kennedy. I'd charm her out of it. No problem.
I reached out to take the bag but she swung it to her other shoulder.
"Why won't you let me help you?"
"You're injured, remember? Or was that an act too?"
I pulled my hand back like she'd scalded it.
"No, it wasn't. Why are you being this way?"
She rolled her eyes at me.
"I don't have time for this Drew. I'm a single mom. I have to do things by myself."
My guts twisted as she started pushing the stroller towards the park. She had done all of this by herself. If I'd known I would have helped her though. She's the one who didn't tell me!
But she had told me, eventually. And truth be told, I was more worried about my own hurt feelings than being dad of the year. That would stop though. I was going to step it up.
I'd make it up to her and the kid.
I jogged a bit to catch up with her. We walked into the park and took a right. The streets were closed on the weekend and runners, walkers and bikers took over. The road circled the park, going from Park Slope, to Windsor Terrace, all the way to Lefferts Gardens and around again.
I glanced around.
"Some of these guys ride fast. Maybe we should stay off the road."
She glared at me.
"I'm just crossing here. I'm not an idiot, you know."
"I don't think you're an idiot."
"Yeah, right."
I cleared my throat, having no clue what the hell to say to that. We walked in silence for a while, into the shady pathways where the bikes weren't allowed. Kids were running around. People were picnicking. It was a warm Fall day and all of Brooklyn was out enjoying themselves.
Except me.
I wanted to relax on the grass and kiss her. Hold hands. I realized I wanted that almost as much as I wanted to do all the other naughty things I wanted to do with her.
Naked things.
Well, almost as much.
My phone pinged. It was Jamie.
You better not hurt her.
I frowned at my phone. I didn't plan on hurting anyone. Did I? The phone pinged again.
I'm starting to regret helping you.
I slipped the phone into my pocket without responding. Kennedy gave me a suspicious look but didn't ask who it was. She probably thought it was a girl. She definitely knew I'd played the field before her.
Everybody knew that.
I should just tell her. Maybe it would help. I had no idea what she wanted to hear so I'd just... tell her the truth.
"There hasn't been anyone else."
She kept walking but I knew I had her attention from the way her stride faltered.
"Since the first night we talked. Not when we were together. Not when you went away. Not since you came back."
"Drew... Don't."
Her voice was a whisper. It sounded raw and broken. Had I done that to her? Had I really crushed the spirit of this brave and beautiful girl? She was afraid to even look at me.
But I couldn't stop now.
"Don't what? Don't tell you how you ruined other girls for me? That no one could come close to comparing?"
I grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop near a ring of enormous maples. The leaves were just starting to turn. I wanted to drag her into the circle and kiss her senseless.
While keeping one eye on the baby of course.
"You're the only one I want Kennedy. Don't tell me you don't want me back."
She searched my face, her huge eyes showing her vulnerability. She wanted to believe me. But she was afraid to.
"Please Kennedy."
She shook her head slightly and walked away with Kyle.
Kennedy
"Can I take your order?"
I worked as efficiently as possible, not stopping to chat with customers like usual. I was too fragile. I really thought if I said too much, I might start crying.
Tears with lunch... yeah, not a good idea.
So I kept it quick and concise and moved customers in and out with a speed that made Janine shake her head at me. Oddly enough, I still got great tips.
I was splitting my money with the busboys and dishwashers when Janine jerked her head towards the front.
"Table for you, Neddy."
I turned and stopped in my tracks.
Drew was sitting at one of the front tables. Alone. Staring at me with those huge dark eyes of his.
It had been a couple of days since I saw him. Since he made his intentions known. And I had shut it down.
I was still not sure if I regretted it or not.
I'd spent the entire week in my blanket. Just doing the bare minimum to get by. I took care of Kyle and went to work. That was it. I hadn't even showered in two days until Jamie handed me a bottle of shower gel and shoved me into the bathroom.
She'd actually locked me in there, refusing to open the door until I was clean and blowdried.
It would have been funny if I hadn't felt the way I did.
Just looking at him brought it all to the surface again. I wanted to leap into his arms and kiss him silly. I wanted to smack him.
I wanted to kiss him, smack him and then kiss him again.
Janine choose that exact moment to make herself scarce. There was no one else to take his table. I forced myself to stand up and move. Even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.
I cleared my throat, walking to his table. Then I pulled out my pad and pinned an impersonal look on my face.
"Can I take your order?"
He just stared at me. So I asked him again. His voice was soft as he ordered a reuben and a side of potato salad. An unsweetened ice tea. I jotted it down and nodded.
"I'll be right back with your order."
I almost said sir. But I stopped myself. I knew he'd laugh at me for being overly formal. So I just left. I put his order in and leaned on the counter. It was the end of my shift so I didn't have any other tables. I did my side work, refilling the salt and pepper and ketchup bottles.
Trying to ignore the six-foot stud by the window who was trying to stare me into submission.
And that's what he wanted. Me. On his terms. God only knew what that meant.
Probably that he'd love me and leave me. That's what he'd said he wanted to do. I wasn't going to let that happen again. I didn't think I could survive losing him twice.
Three times actually.
And now even my job wasn't safe. I'd have to get something else. Janine might be my friend but she was Drew's sister. She hadn't made me take his table by accident. I gave her my best dirty look and she just smiled, going in the back and picking up Kyle. She bounced him up and down a few times, giving me an innocent smile.
She knew I couldn't yell at her in front of the baby.
I sighed and kept my head down, focusing on my work. When his order was up I brought him his food. I kept half an eye on his table while he ate and practically ran over there when he was finished.
"Anything else?"
He shook his head slowly. His eyes though... they said he wanted more.
A lot more.
I blushed.
"Just the check."
I scribbled it out and smacked it down, running back to the refuge of the kitchen. I didn't have a thing to do in there, but he didn't have to know that. I counted to fifty and then peeked my head out again.
"He's gone."
Janine smirked at me.
"Coward."
I glared at her. She and
Jamie were cut from the same damn cloth. Meddlers, both of them.
I walked over to clear his table, trying to ignore the feeling I got when I saw the giant tip he'd left me. I scooped up the money and froze.
He'd written something on the bill. Four words that made my heart pound. With nervousness or excitement, I wasn't sure.
I'm not giving up.
Chapter Thirteen
Drew
I ran through the park, hoping to run into my prey. I'd stopped drinking so much and my sweat smelled a whole lot better. Besides, I had to be on the top of my game to catch Kennedy.
Jamie had stopped giving me tips, other than to say 'back off.' She said to give it time.
Yeah. Great advice. Tell a starving man just to wait for his dinner.
Not.
Considering how I'd been tossing and turning with fever dreams about Kennedy every night, 'giving it time' was the one thing I could not do. I was going to go out of my damn mind if I did.
But she'd made it sound like Kennedy was down. Not doing so good. She'd looked like a shadow of herself at the cafe the other day. I couldn't get the image out of my head.
Lovely of course, but faded.
Like she was trying to disappear from me.
But that was not going to cut it. She was mine. We had a baby together. There was no one else I wanted anyway, and a man had needs.
When it came to her, I had lots and lots of needs.
No, I was going to get my woman. I still didn't really trust her, but that didn't mean I couldn't have her.
And have her and have her and have her...
I would keep her, I decided. Until she messed up again at least. If she didn't mess up, maybe I'd reconsider love and marriage in a few years. Make it permanent. I couldn't really imagine life without her anyway. I didn't want to.
Until then, she'd be mine. I just wouldn't be completely hers.
It was a test more or less. But I was going to make it easy on her. I didn't want her to mess up. I wanted her to succeed. I wanted her to prove me wrong.