by Joanna Blake
His fingers stroked me through my bra and then lower, stroking my pussy through the thin cotton of my panties. I moved then. But not to get away.
I lifted my hips to meet his hand.
He chuckled knowingly and reached for something. I heard rustling as he put a condom on. He lifted his body on top of me and smiled.
"No need to make the same mistake twice."
Then he pulled my panties aside and pushed himself against me.
Chapter Nine
Drew
Finally. Finally, I could touch her. Hold her. Have her.
Keep it together, Drew.
I grunted with effort as I guided my cock to Kennedy's sweet body. Her perfect, flawless, ready and willing body.
I couldn't even wait to get all her clothes off. I had to have her. I had to get in.
Now.
She was wet already, but not sopping. I wanted her begging for me. But I couldn't wait. I pulled back and reached between her legs with my fingers. Stroking her as she rocked against my hand. I wanted to taste her, to watch her writhe beneath me in ecstasy but I couldn't wait another minute.
Fuck it.
I decided I'd waited long enough. I wanted to pour all my feelings into her. The betrayal. The loss. The rage.
I moaned as I pressed forward, feeling her lips open for me and welcome me in.
It felt like heaven. Sliding slowly into Kennedy was like nothing else on Earth. Sweet, hot and tight.
It felt like coming home.
I bowed my head against her neck so she couldn't see my face as I strained with the effort of holding back. I felt like shouting as I edged deeper inside her. If she saw my face she would know how much I cared.
But I didn't want to care.
I just wanted to take.
So I did.
I reached down and grasped her hips, starting a slow and steady tempo. I still wasn't even halfway in, but I circled my hips, getting deeper with each stroke.
"That's it... open for me Kennedy..."
My voice was low and rough with emotion. She whimpered in response and let me in deeper. Hmmfff... she was perfection. So sweet and shy and eager to please me.
I realized she needed encouragement. Love words.
I would do whatever it took to get what I wanted at that moment.
So I talked. I didn't think about what I was saying. I didn't lie. But I didn't tell her the truth either.
That I was going to use her for as long as it took to burn her out of my heart.
And then I'd be gone. I'd ghost her. Just like she'd ghosted me.
"Fuck, Kennedy, you feel so good... please baby... let me in..."
Her thighs slid up and around my hips and I almost laughed. She was so willing... so eager for me. She'd do anything I asked of her.
I was going to take advantage of that. And then some.
"Fuck... yes. Arch your back for me."
She moved and her breasts smashed against me. I cursed, realizing I hadn't even bothered to take off her bra. I was too far gone to do anything about it now.
I was about to fucking pop.
Too soon, Drew. Too soon.
Then again, who said I couldn't fuck her all night?
I curled my back and drove home, as far as I could get inside her. I felt my spine start to spark, sending shockwaves through my entire body. Kennedy was shaking beneath me, coming with me.
Just like she always did.
It was the craziest thing. But it had always been that way. We'd come together, even the first time.
When she had been a virgin.
The memory of that night, her shy acceptance of my body, her sweetness, the sheer perfection of the way she looked at me, and touched me... it was like I was back there again, holding her.
I groaned as my seed barreled down my shaft and hit the condom. I hated the condom at that moment. I wanted to explode inside her.
I wanted to fill. Her. Up.
I started thrusting faster, jerking out of tempo. I lost all sense of control. If Kennedy hadn't been rocking and rolling with me she might have noticed what she was doing to me.
I prayed she did not notice.
As I came, I hissed three words to her. I wished I could take it back immediately. It came out garbled and low. I don't think she heard me. I hoped to God she hadn't heard me.
"I love you."
I didn't want to say it. I couldn't help myself. I didn't mean it anyway. It was just the crazy good sex we always seemed to have.
It was just her body and the off the charts chemistry.
Right?
It wasn't like I was still in love with her.
I couldn't be.
But that didn't change this. The way our bodies seemed to know each other so well. To fit together perfectly. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tight as aftershocks tore through us both.
Kennedy
I sighed as Drew pulled me into his arms. We'd just made love for the third time. Each time he'd held me close afterwards. And each time he quickly started again.
No preamble. No words. He just took me.
And I let him.
God help me, I wanted him to do every naughty thing he'd done to me and more. I knew it was a sin to lay with a man out of wedlock, but I didn't care.
It didn't feel like a sin.
It felt like a miracle.
Drew slid behind me and started kissing my neck. His hands were busy, stroking and touching me in that teasing way that drove me mad. He murmured that I was beautiful. That he wanted me again.
Then I heard the condom wrapper.
I looked over my shoulder at him. He looked hungry and determined as he rolled a condom down his hardness. I scooted away. I was tired. I was sore.
I was starting to think he was trying to set some sort of a record.
"What are you doing?"
He looked at me and I saw something strange in his eyes. He looked haunted. He looked a little bit unhinged.
"I'm going to get you out of my system Kennedy. If it's the last thing I do. I'll fuck you a thousand times if that what it takes."
"You're what?"
He smiled at me. It was not a nice smile. Drew was looking at me like a shark looks at a seal.
His words hammered through my brain.
He wanted to get me out of his system.
He didn't want me back. He just wanted to fuck me.
That's what he'd always wanted.
My brothers had been right. He was a player and I was a fool. And now I was a tramp.
His tramp.
I almost threw up when I thought about everything we'd done the night before. Everything I'd let him do... I'd been so eager to please him I hadn't noticed that for all his heat, he hadn't shown me any warmth.
Oh, he could still inflame me. But that was mechanics.
What we'd had before was more than body.
It was soul.
And now it was gone.
I stared as he lowered his lips to my neck, kissing me softly. I shivered with pleasure. Even now...even knowing how he felt... I was tempted.
I was more than tempted. I was damned. I had to leave or else I never would.
I'd never forgive myself if I let him use me this way.
I felt like I was cracking in two as I climbed off the bed. I kept my face turned away. If he'd taken one look into my eyes, he would know I was shattered.
"I- I have to go to the bathroom."
He smiled at me. He was so smug. So sure I'd do as he said. I grabbed my clothes and slipped into them.
"Don't get dressed."
"Your brother might be home..."
He sighed and leaned back on the bed, looking so sexy it hurt.
"Fine. But hurry. I want you so bad, baby."
I choked back tears at his words. He wanted me. That was all. That was probably all he'd ever felt. But I'd been too stupid to know.
I'd thought we were in love. And stupid, innocent little me had never stopped loving
him. Not when I'd left. Not when I was in labor.
Not even for a minute.
I shut the door behind me and tiptoed to the stairs. Once I was halfway down I started to run. I was out the door and on the street before I heard it.
Drew was shouting my name.
I looked over my shoulder and froze.
He was on the street in front of his house. Naked. He wasn't even wearing shoes.
He was holding a baseball cap over his dick though.
I would have laughed at the sight of him if it didn't feel like I was splitting in two.
He ran towards me and I couldn't do anything but stare at the spectacle, even though I was suddenly afraid. Not that he would hurt me. I didn't think he could do that any worse than he already had.
"I told you! Never run out on me again!"
He reached for me but I jumped back. He frowned at me.
"I can't do this Drew. I'm sorry."
"What the fuck, Kennedy?"
"I'm sorry. I'm not... I'm not a... a toy... I have feelings and I-"
I shook my head.
"I'm not like you. I can't just... screw someone out of my system."
I swallowed back tears. He was staring at me with a dark look in his eyes. He looked furious. And hurt.
"I have to go. I'm sorry."
He stood there, not saying a word. He just stood there and watched me go.
Chapter Ten
Drew
I waited for Lowe to check the doorknob and then lifted my ax, breaking down the apartment door. It was thick old wood, original to the eighty year-old building.
Lowe jumped back as the wood splintered under the force of my swings. I had it down in two shakes. I had really, really wanted to break something.
"Jesus Christ Drew!"
I cleared the doorway and went in without responding. I was feeling reckless, which was bad on the job. The Chief was on me about it. Had been since I started playing things fast and loose.
But I didn't care.
I wanted to smash things. It was better than thinking. So I did.
I kicked the window out and the air started to clear. We were able to snuff out the fire on that floor and check for any stragglers. The other guys had already cleared the bottom two floors. That left only the top floor.
We took the stairs at a fast clip, beating the rest of the crew. We were turning a corner when the beam fell. It was on fire at one end. Thankfully, the side that clipped me was not.
That would have hurt like a mother.
It still did hurt like a mother.
I cursed as the wood scraped my skin, cutting the back of my wrist and forearm through my jacket. If I hadn't been wearing my gloves it would have been a lot worse. Our gear kept us safe. It was one of the few rules I actually followed.
"Drew!"
"I'm okay."
The guys stormed past us and I jerked my head, signaling Lowe to follow.
"Hell no, I'm getting you out of here."
"It's just a scratch."
I brushed him off and headed up. In twenty minutes the top floor was clear. We checked the roof, inhaling gulps of fresh air. I was making an effort not to look at my hand. It hurt like a mother.
Lowe cursed when he saw my wrist in the light.
"Fuck Drew. You're taking the crane down."
I didn't argue as Lowe helped me into the crane. I was in the back of an ambulance a few minutes later, heading to the ER.
They saw me right away, even though the place was packed. They always did that for Cops and Firemen. I was being doctored up in less than twenty minutes.
I closed my eyes as the ER doc washed my wound and started to stitch me up. I wondered what Kennedy was doing. I was sure she hated me at this point.
That's when it hit me.
It had been a close thing today. A good job, as the guys called it. A legit fire. If I hadn't made it out, the one thing I'd regret was not being with her.
That, and not getting to know my son.
But mostly the fire inside me was aching for her. Begging for her. One night had not been enough. Not even close. The feel of her- the taste- it was so fresh. So tantalizingly out of reach.
My plan had backfired on me. Instead of getting her out of my system, I was more desperate than ever. Being with her- having her delectable body at my disposal- that became my only focus.
That and fighting fires of course.
Though I had been thinking about her naked body while I was in the middle of a four-alarm blaze.
Not good Drew. Not good.
If taking what I wanted hadn't worked, I had to try something new. I had to make her as wild for me as I was for her. I had to make her beg.
I smiled at Lowe as he sat by the gurney. The nurse dressed my wound and gave me a bag of bandages and ointment. I was back at the firehouse ten minutes later.
I stood outside, staring down the street at the cafe. I had plenty of excuses to see her. I was picking up the kid tonight for dinner with my family.
That would be the perfect time to launch plan B.
Sweet and romantic Drew would bring her to her knees.
Kennedy
"Sit down Neddy, you're as jumpy as a damn cat."
I was pacing back and forth, waiting for the bell when it rang. He was here. I scooped up Kyle, giving him an extra bunch of kisses.
Jamie gave me a sympathetic look.
"Do you want me to get it?"
I shook my head. I hadn't faced Drew since our night together. But I had to get used to it. I was an adult. Even if he just wanted sex, he was showing up for our son.
That's what really mattered.
"No. I got this."
I opened the door and froze. Drew was standing there, dressed in a button down and pants. His hair was still damp from a shower. He turned to face me, looking so handsome it made my insides ache. He gazed at me, a hungry look on his face. His dark hair curled over his forehead, covering his eyes.
But it didn't do a thing to mask the look of longing there.
I blinked. This was not what I was expecting. He wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he wanted to- well... fuck me. Right in the doorway, apparently.
"Kennedy."
I forced myself to snap out of it. What did it matter what he wanted? I was in control. I shifted the baby in my arms.
"Hey. So, you need to carry the stroller down the stairs first. Then come back for Kyle. Make sure he's strapped in tight."
"You look beautiful."
I blinked again. I did not look beautiful. I had deliberately NOT done a damn thing other than brush my hair. I wore no makeup. I was wearing jeans and an ancient flannel button down that had belonged to my father. It was soft and I loved it but it was utterly shapeless and out of style. It wasn't even vintage enough to be cool.
I'd been tempted to answer the door in my sweatpants but I wasn't that far gone yet.
A tiny part of me didn't want him to see me like that.
The stupid part.
I handed him the diaper bag.
"Don't give him any food. He's too young and it's a choking hazard. There's a bottle of milk in there. And diapers. If you need anything call. Janine will be there, right?"
He nodded.
"She knows the drill."
I pushed the stroller towards him, expecting him to leave with it. But he just stood there on the porch.
"Is there... anything else?"
I was praying he wouldn't say something awful about wanting to fuck me out of his system again. I couldn't bear it. I knew what he was after. He'd been honest about it at least. A little too late but...
Well, three times too late. Three glorious, perfect, amazing times. I'd be happy to crawl back into bed with him in a heartbeat if he hadn't told me the truth. But he had.
And I knew what it would cost me if I gave in.
"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to dinner."
I inhaled sharply. He wanted me at his family dinner? That seemed..
. weird. What kind of player brought his cast offs home to the family?
"I can't. I have plans."
That was a lie. My only plans involved ice cream and the Vampire Diaries on Netflix. But there was no need for him to know that.
And it was a plan. Of sorts.
"Oh. Too bad. Maybe next Sunday?"
I was trying to think of a response when I noticed the bandage around his arm. His shirt partially covered it. But not totally. I reached for him before snatching my hand back.
"You're injured."
"Yeah. It's okay though. I had to take a few days off. Chief is being a real pain in the ass about it."
I let my breath out in a whoosh.
"What happened?"
He shrugged.
"A beam fell. I was lucky it didn't hit my head."
I stared at him, my pulse starting to race. He could have been killed. I knew that was part of his job but in an abstract way. Seeing the injury made it more real. I was suddenly terrified of all the things that could happen to him.
Just for Kyle's sake of course.
I swallowed nervously.
"Well, I can help you get this stuff downstairs then."
Jamie must have been listening because she ran over to carry the stroller. I carried Kyle down the porch stairs and settled him into place. I was chewing my lip as I looked from his wrapped arm to the stroller and back again.
"Maybe I should walk with you."
I expected Drew to tell me he was fine and not to bother, but he just smiled at me instead.
"That would be great."
Chapter Eleven
Drew
I stole a glance at Kennedy. She pushed the stroller in silence. Neither one of us said a word.
That was alright. I didn't need to talk to put my plan into motion. I let my arm brush against hers.
Just a little brush...
I felt electricity jump between our skin. The way it always did. She gave me a startled look and I smiled.
Half a block later I let my hand brush hers.
Again the look. This time I just ignored her. I placed my hand on her lower back when we crossed the street. She nearly stumbled but I was there to help her up. I stood a little too close to her and was a little too slow to step away.