Forgotten Kisses

by Verna Clay

  Beaner took a big bite of a chocolate chip cookie and said, "I'll walk back to the dorm with you, Alex."

  After the men left, Sage leaned back in his chair and puffed a breath. Sarah plopped on the couch and shook her head. Hannah closed her eyes. Sage said, "That woman is nothing but trouble."

  There was no need for him to mention Morgana's name because they all knew who he meant.

  Chapter 25: Anger

  Over the next week Morgana and Maisie showed up at the ranch every day to visit Alex. And every day Alex pried more information from Morgana about their relationship. The images he'd experienced while on his horseback ride with Hannah wouldn't leave his mind, and he wanted clarity as to which woman he'd lost his heart to, if either.

  Luckily, his sister seemed engrossed in understanding ranch life and often engaged the ranch hands in conversation, which allowed Alex time alone with Morgana. Once, in his dorm room, he even went so far as to kiss her passionately as he sat on the side of his bed and she knelt before him. When she removed her blouse he didn't stop her. But when her fingers moved to unbutton his shirt, he did. The reason wasn't because he'd lost the ability to make love. Thank God, that function had returned, but it was something else he couldn't name. He yearned to make love to a woman, but he just couldn't do it with her. He had to resolve the mystery of Hannah first.

  He gave Morgana some lame excuse about not being ready, even though his body proved him otherwise, and she graciously backed off.

  Hannah was mucking horse stalls when she heard footsteps. She turned around and inwardly groaned as Morgana walked purposely toward her, clearly livid.

  Hannah tossed a shovel full of manure into a wheel barrel before leaning against the handle. She sighed as she waited for whatever fate had in store for her with the haughty woman.

  Morgana stopped at the stall's entrance and narrowed her eyes. Invisible sparks darted from their blue depths and Hannah could almost feel them hitting her. She waited for Morgana to speak.

  "Just because I'm returning to England tomorrow, don't think Alex will ever feel anything for you."

  "Now why would I think that? He's engaged to you."

  Morgana's anger turned her complexion splotchy as she continued her tirade. "You have nothing to offer him except…except…" She glanced at the wheel barrel full of dung, "…except a life of servitude. He's an aristocrat who needs a wife capable of understanding the aristocracy. You'd be nothing but an embarrassment with your atrocious clothing, awful manners, and ridiculous drawl."

  Instead of responding angrily, Hannah replied evenly, "Are you jealous of me, Morgana? Is that what this is all about?"

  The woman jerked her head back as if she'd been slapped. Her laughter, which sounded more like a cackle, echoed throughout the barn. "Jealous of you? In your dreams. I'm just trying to save you heartache."

  Hannah shrugged and said, "Noted." She started on another pile of manure, ignoring Morgana. The angry woman jerked around, stomped away, and shrieked when she stepped in a pile of horseshit.

  Chapter 26: Whisperer

  Alex watched Sage lead Maddox into the barn from the corral. He and Hannah and Sarah waited with Dirk Branigan, the horse whisperer, and his daughter Candi, beside the horse's stall. The horse had arrived the same day Morgana and Maisie left, and now, five days later, Alex was intrigued by Mr. Branigan's supposed ability. The day before, he had spent a couple of hours researching the topic of "animal whisperers." It seemed there were "whisperers" for every species. Some of the websites tended toward the ridiculous, but others seemed genuine and professional. Mr. Branigan's website was one of the professional ones.

  Maddox was led into his stall and Dirk waited about a minute before entering and rubbing the animal's shoulder in a calming manner. He then proceeded to gain Maddox's trust by giving him a couple of treats. After that he placed a finger in the corner of the horse's mouth to stroke his tongue. He gave Maddox another treat and rubbed the groove in his muzzle. Then he motioned his daughter, a tomboyish brunette who looked to be around twelve or thirteen, into the stall. Finally, he closed the gate and everyone surrounded the enclosure. Alex positioned his wheelchair so that he could peer through the bars.

  Mr. Branigan spoke affectionately to the horse and often paused as if receiving a response. His daughter took up a position on the opposite side of Maddox. When the whisperer began querying the horse, Alex was amazed. How could a horse answer questions? The whisperer asked such things as: "Were you happy as a colt? What's your favorite snack? Do you like being ridden?" He would then glance at Candi and appear to gage her assessments. Most of the time she would nod as if in agreement.

  Ridiculous, thought Alex. He cast skeptical eyes at Hannah, but she only smiled as if to say, "Just wait."

  When Mr. Branigan asked, "Do you like your name?" the horse whinnied, and when he asked, "Would you like another name?" The horse shook his mane and stomped his hoof. Alex glanced at Hannah again and rolled his eyes, which made her cover her mouth in a silent chuckle.

  The session continued for about forty minutes until Mr. Branigan rubbed Maddox's forehead and bade him goodbye. Candi did the same and the horse nuzzled both of them.

  "Try giving him more apples and fewer carrots," Mr. Branigan said to Sage. And thanks for letting Candi participate. She's always been intuitive and I couldn't be prouder that she wants to follow in my footsteps."

  Candi smiled while she smoothed a hand down Maddox's neck. "Thanks, Dad," she said shyly.

  The Tanner family also encouraged her and then Sage asked, "What else can you tell us about Maddox?"

  Mr. Branigan glanced at Alex and grinned. "Understanding an animal isn't as difficult as it's made out to be. When you learn to listen with your gut, that's when the magic happens. There are no audible words, only impressions that sometimes prove wrong…but often prove right." To Sage he said, "Maddox's cruel treatment began when he was purchased by his last owner. As for his name, he likes it because it was given to him by a boy he adored. He also likes being ridden." Mr. Branigan glanced back at Alex. "And he wants you to ride him."

  Alex felt his jaw go slack. The man had to be joking.

  Sarah said, "That's good news. But let's talk more about Maddox over lunch. I just saw Beaner stick his head in the barn. He gave me the thumbs-up that lunch is ready."

  Sage and Mr. Branigan, deep in conversation, followed Sarah and Candi from the barn. Hannah stepped away from the stall and approached Alex. Grinning widely, she said, "I see you're having difficulty believing in Dirk. But before you come to any conclusions, you should know he's a legend around these parts and always in demand. In fact, I'm going to research the information he just gave and see what I can find out."

  Alex gave a noncommittal shrug and grinned. "I look forward to your removal of my doubt."

  "You're on. How soon do you want to start riding Maddox?"

  Alex laughed. "Whenever he's ready."

  Maddox was ready three weeks later when Preston pronounced him well on the road to recovery. During those weeks, Alex often found himself rolling his wheelchair through the barn to Maddox's stall. Something about the horse touched him deeply. Maybe it was because the animal had suffered from the cruelty of another, just as he had suffered. Whatever it was, there was an invisible bond between them.

  Something else happened during that time which lifted Alex's spirits greatly. Greater function returned to his legs. With the help of his physical therapist he was able to stand and his ability to walk was rapidly returning. He only wished his memory would be as cooperative.

  The horseback ride on Maddox happened on a Saturday as he and Hannah returned to the meadow with fantastic views. They halted their horses and gazed at the panorama before them. Beyond the meadow that was now brown as winter approached, tall pines, alongside deciduous red and silver maples dressed for autumn, stretched upward on hills and mountains toward a clear blue sky.

  Hannah said, "I researched Maddox's history."

  Alex jerk
ed his head toward her. "And?"

  She grinned. "I don't have hard evidence about how Maddox received his name, but I do have circumstantial evidence."

  Intrigued, Alex lifted an eyebrow, waiting.

  Hannah moved her gaze to Maddox. "I called a livestock auctioneer I know and asked if there was any way we could find out if Maddox had once been sold at auction. He checked his records, found nothing, but said he'd make some calls. He called back yesterday to say he'd found an auction house near Denver that had sold a horse named Maddox years earlier. He gave me the info and I called the establishment this morning." She paused with a smug expression, but twinkling eyes.

  Alex finally said, "I'm waiting with bated breath. What did you find out?"

  "Are you sure you want to know?"

  Alex leaned forward. "Hannah, if you don't tell me, I'm going to tell Hank that there will be no more monster cookies for you."

  Hannah's eyes widened with mock incredulity. "You wouldn't!"

  "Oh, but I would, luv."

  She shrugged and continued, "Okay. Here's the scoop, and I think serendipity played a part in my discovering this information. I spoke with a gentleman who said he'd worked for the auction house for twenty years. When I asked about Maddox, he looked in his records and said, 'Oh, yeah, I remember that horse.' Of course, I was shocked. Then he told me the reason he remembered him. He said that after the horse was sold, he'd been walking past the paddock and seen a boy crying and telling Maddox goodbye. He said the sight so broke his heart, he'd never forgotten it."

  Alex pondered her words.

  She finished by saying, "So, the auctioneer gave me the name, phone number, and address of the family who sold Maddox, but when I called the number, it belonged to someone else. I looked up the address and got another phone number, but when I called, the owner said the farm had been sold a couple of times in the past six years and he had no idea of how to get in touch with any former owners. And so there you have my circumstantial evidence."

  Alex shook his head. "Hannah, you are amazing and I'm almost a believer in animal whisperers."

  She gave him a satisfied smile before fixing her eyes on the scenery before them. Alex continued to watch her until she again met his gaze. Something unbidden passed between them—something hot and sweet, beautiful and lasting. The intensity was so deep that Alex returned his gaze to the snowy peaks. He wanted to demand the truth. He wanted her to explain their relationship in Africa, yet at the same time he was fearful. He knew they had been lovers, but what if she no longer wanted him in that way? Maybe she'd only succumbed to an affair with him. But what about the look they had just shared?

  Unable to bear the suspense any longer, Alex opened his mouth to ask for the truth, but Hannah suddenly spurred her horse forward. After that, he lost his courage. If everything he thought he remembered turned to ashes, he wasn't ready for the disappointment.

  Chapter 27: Ten Steps

  Alex placed his hands on the arms of his wheel chair and lifted himself into a standing position. James, his therapist, grinned when he took five steps forward. "Awesome, Alex! Are you still keeping your progress a secret from the Tanners?"

  "I am, but not much longer. I want to surprise Hannah and the others when I'm able to walk ten steps."

  James replied, "Before you know it, you'll be completely mobile with the use of a cane."

  James pushed the wheelchair to Alex and he sat back down. Since the day he and Hannah had shared an unmistakable connection, he had concentrated all of his effort on recovery. The day he asked Hannah for the truth he wanted to stand before her. If she admitted their relationship was as he believed, he would share his burgeoning devotion to her and his belief that they could recapture what had been stolen, but only if she wanted it. His fear was that she did not want it.

  The day of reckoning finally arrived with the first snowfall. Alex texted Hannah and asked if she would come to his room. He'd never made such a request and he knew she had to be curious. He locked the wheels of his wheelchair, braced his hands on the armrests, and pushed himself upward. It was quite easy now. Soon he would be standing without having to push himself up. He walked about five steps and then backed up. He would save his energy until Hannah arrived. Sitting back in the chair he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. In a few minutes he would know the truth. He waited anxiously for Hannah's arrival.

  Within minutes there was a soft tap on his door. Inhaling and releasing a long cleansing breath, he whispered to himself, "The direction of your life is about to be determined, old boy."

  He wheeled to the door and opened it.

  Hannah, dressed in her usual attire of jeans, boots, western shirt, with a vest and jacket added for warmth, looked adorable. She asked with a concerned expression, "Is something wrong?"

  Alex smiled. "Not at all. I asked you here because I want to show you something. Please come in." He backed his wheelchair up and Hannah stepped into the room. Her concerned expression had turned to one of relief, and now curiosity. Alex rolled around her and shut the door.

  Hannah's eyebrows rose. "Hmm. Now you've really got me curious."

  Alex grinned, rolled across the room, set the brake on his wheelchair, and without a word pushed upward until he was standing.

  Hannah gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. "Alex! When did this happen?"

  Staring intently at her, he replied, "I've been making phenomenal progress for a few weeks. I didn't say anything because I wanted to surprise you."

  Hannah fingered a tear. "Other than you not dying in the attack, it's the best surprise I've ever had."

  "Well, it's not over, luv," he said as he started toward her. Just ten steps. Just ten steps. Ten steps until I know my future.

  He completed the ten steps and stood directly in front of her. For long moments they stared into each others eyes and then he lifted his hand to caress her face. He was going to kiss her with such passion it made his knees weak. He swayed and she gave a little shriek, placing her hands on his forearms to steady him.

  Her cell phone rang.

  "Go ahead and answer it," he said, so as to buy time to compose himself. Keeping her left hand on his right arm, she lifted her phone and answered the call.

  "Hi, Dad."

  Because Alex was standing so close, he could hear Sage's words.

  "Hannah, I just got a call from Alex's uncle." She shifted her gaze upward until she was staring at him.

  "And?" she asked cautiously.

  There was a pause before Sage said, "Alex's father just died of a heart attack."

  Alex heard the news and everything became surreal. His father was dead? The father he couldn't remember. The father he wanted desperately to remember.

  Hannah rasped into the phone, "I'll come to the house in a few minutes." She disconnected before her father could respond. "You heard?" she asked.

  Alex nodded. He was feeling weaker by the second and Hannah must have known because she said, "I'll bring the chair to you."

  He nodded again and used the remainder of his strength to stand until he felt the wheelchair against his legs. He practically fell into it. Hannah stepped in front of him and went down on her knees. "I'm so sorry, Alex. Do you want to come to the house and talk to my dad or do you want me to get the details first?"

  For a moment Alex had a selfish thought. Is my life ever going to right itself? Then he felt guilty about his selfishness when his family in England was suffering. He reached to stroke a hand down Hannah's silky hair and sadly said, "I'll go speak with your father, then I need to return to England as soon as possible."

  "Do you want me to come with you?"

  "No."

  Chapter 28: Angel

  Alex's departure from the Lazy M broke Hannah's heart. He had been gone three weeks when her friend Angel, daughter of Jackson and Ann Martinez, two of her parents' closest friends, stopped by to see her.

  Angel, as beautiful and sweet as her namesake, hugged Hannah and said, "Your mother said I'd find yo
u in the barn. I haven't seen you at Dixie's Cuppa Joe or around town lately. I hope you don't mind that I dropped by unannounced."

  "Angel, I love that you came to visit. You can drop by anytime. I've just been so busy around the ranch that I haven't set foot beyond the gate in ages." Hannah wiped her hands on her jeans, dusty from brushing Maddox.

  Her friend lifted a hand to the gelding's forehead. "I overheard Dirk telling my father about your latest rescue. Is this him?"

  "Yes. He's very gentle and loving, and now that he's got the proper care and diet, he's looking fantastic. The last I heard, the law was prosecuting his former owner."

  "Good. No animal should have to suffer cruelty." Angel hesitated before saying, "I also heard Alex went back to England because his father died. I'm sorry to hear about that. How are you holding up?"

  The compassion in Angel's eyes brought tears to Hannah's. She had a feeling Angel already knew her feelings for Alex. She fingered a tear. "I never told anyone but my parents how I feel about him. Is it that obvious?"

  Angel placed her hand on Hannah's arm. "Only to those closest to you. Do you want to talk about it?"

  A tear trickled down Hannah's cheek.

  Angel pointed to a stack of hay. "Let's sit and talk."

  Hannah nodded and followed her friend. She needed to unburden herself of things she hadn't even told her parents.

  Over the course of an hour she told Angel everything. Even mentioning her one night of passion with Alex. Angel occasionally nodded or vocalized her understanding. By the time Hannah finished, her tears had dried, and although it felt right to share with Angel, her heart was just as broken as before.

  Hannah started to rise but Angel said, "Let's not go to the house just yet. There's something I want to say."

  Hannah settled back on the hay bale. By the tone of Angel's voice it sounded serious.