Molly in the Middle

by Ronni Arno

  She nods, and I close the door behind me. I’m changing into my regular clothes when my phone buzzes. It’s a text from Mom, and it’s to Dad, Eliza, and me.

  Family meeting 5 pm Friday.

  I lay back on my bed and groan.

  Family meetings are never good.

  chapter

  25

  “ONLY EIGHT DAYS UNTIL THE Birthday Bash,” Robert says as we’re walking to social studies Friday at school.

  My stomach flip-flops. The party and the walk are next weekend, and I still haven’t made up my mind. Everything’s been so peaceful that I’m afraid to ruin it. I spend lunch with the crew at Christina’s table, and Kellan spends it with Dylan and his friends. Kellan and I sometimes talk in the halls, and we spend every day after school together. It’s the best of both worlds.

  “Do you know what you’re wearing?” Robert asks.

  “What?” I look down at my clothes.

  “To the party.” He nudges me gently in the side.

  “Oh, yeah—I, uhhh . . . uhhh,” I stammer. “My sister helped me pick out a dress.”

  “Hi, Robert! Hi, Molly!” Alissa Steinman and Taylor O’Neil wave at us from across the hall. This happens so often now that it’s hard to finish a conversation. I wonder if this is how celebrities feel when they try to go out in public.

  “What color is it?” Robert asks.

  “What color is what?”

  “Your dress,” Robert says. I really don’t want to talk about this.

  “Oh.” My cheeks and ears feel instantly hot. “Black. With silver accessories.”

  “Cool,” Robert says. “I’ll match you.”

  I stop walking when we reach social studies. “You’ll wear a black dress with silver accessories?”

  “Ha-ha.” Robert smiles. “I’ll wear a black suit with a silver tie. So we can match. You know, like people do at proms and stuff.”

  The back of my neck starts to tingle. Don’t boyfriends and girlfriends match? Does this means he wants to be my boyfriend?

  “That would be cool,” I say, and I rub away the little beads of sweat that pop up on my forehead. I picture Robert and I holding hands while we walk down the hallways together, and even though it’s only in my imagination, my entire face gets hot.

  At lunch Christina tells us about the menu for the Birthday Bash. There will be cinnamon-stuffed French toast, four-berry pancakes, eggs Benedict, breakfast burritos, vegetable frittata, quiche, apple pie waffles, chocolate-banana smoothies, and an entire dessert table. And even though I already finished lunch, my mouth waters just thinking about it.

  Just as I’m cleaning up the table, Kellan walks over with Dylan.

  “Coming over after school today?” Kellan says.

  “Sure.” I nod.

  Once Kellan leaves, Christina steps closer to me. “You’re still friends with him?”

  I shrug. “Yeah. I’ve known him forever.”

  “I guess,” Christina says. “But don’t you think you’ve outgrown him?”

  “I don’t know,” I say quietly, crumpling my paper lunch bag into a ball.

  “You’re friends with us now.” Christina points to herself and Nina, who’s staring down at the floor. “You don’t need anyone else.”

  My mind freezes, and I can’t think of a response to this. Is she threatening me, letting me know in her Christina way that I can’t be friends with Kellan?

  “Gotta go to class.” Christina gives me a smirk. “You coming?”

  Christina, Nina, and I walk to class together, but no one says a word.

  One thing is clear, though.

  I’ve made up my mind.

  • • •

  Kellan and I are taking a practice walk after school when he starts talking about the Muscular Dystrophy Walk. “I can’t believe it’s only a week away.”

  Now’s my chance.

  I’ll just tell Kellan I can’t go to the walk. He’ll be okay with it. He even said that he’s fine with me having new friends. Plus, we’ve been having some great practice walks lately, and he really seems to be feeling better. I’m sure he’ll understand much better than Robert or Christina would.

  “You’ll do great. You’re ready.” I take a deep breath to psych myself up.

  “Yeah,” he says. “But I’m still nervous.”

  “You’re going to have a good time.”

  “We’re going to have a good time,” he says, and I stop walking. Suddenly, I can’t catch my breath.

  “You okay, Mols?” he asks.

  I nod. “Just need a minute.” My heart is beating so fast, I’m afraid it’s going to explode. I close my eyes and take another deep breath, hoping to calm myself down.

  “What’s wrong?” Kellan’s voice is shaky.

  “Nothing. It’s just—” I open my eyes. There’s that crease in Kellan’s forehead. He’s worried about me, which makes me feel even yuckier than I already do. “I have to tell you something.”

  “Okay,” Kellan says. “Why don’t we go sit down?”

  Luckily, we’re only a few feet away from our favorite bench. I shuffle over to it, Kellan holding on to my arm, and we both sit down.

  “What is it, Mols?” Kellan bites his lip.

  “The walk is at the same time as Christina’s Birthday Bash.” The words fly out of my mouth and cling to the air between us.

  Kellan’s mouth forms an O shape. “I’m really sorry, Mols. Is Christina mad at you?”

  “What?” I blink a few times, not sure why he thinks Christina would be mad at me.

  “For not going to her party. Is she mad?”

  “I—I don’t think—” I try to speak, but there’s a sob threatening to erupt out of my throat. I swallow it down. “I am going to her party.”

  Kellan’s mouth falls open. “But how can you go to her party and also go to the walk with me?”

  “I can’t.” I stare down at my hands.

  “So . . .” Kellan stands up. “Are you telling me you’re not coming with me to the walk because you’re going to Christina’s party instead?”

  I stand up too. “Yes, but—”

  “I was counting on you.” Kellan is shaking his head slowly, as if he’s trying to get my words situated inside his brain. “What if I need you? What if I can’t do it by myself?”

  “You can, Kellan!”

  “You don’t know that. You told me you’d be there. You said you’d push me in the wheelchair if I needed you to.” Kellan’s face is now bright red.

  “But you won’t need me to! You can—”

  “You said you’d be there for me.” Kellan’s voice is quieter now.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It’s just that I think this will be good for both of us.”

  Kellan squints his eyes. “Good for both of us?”

  “Yes.” I reach for his hand. “See, if I’m in with Christina and all those guys, then soon they’ll get to know you, and then you’ll be in with them too.”

  “Why would I want to be in with them?” Kellan pulls his hand away from mine.

  Why wouldn’t he want to be in with them? “Because everybody knows them. And everybody wants to be friends with them.”

  “I don’t want to be friends with them,” Kellan says.

  “Why not?” I bite the inside of my lip.

  “Why would I?” Kellan throws his hands in the air. “They’ve never been nice to me, and in fact, Christina’s actually been mean to me. They don’t have any of the same interests that I have. Just because they’re popular doesn’t make them good people.”

  “So you don’t even want to try to get to know them?” My pulse booms inside my ears.

  “What does this have to do with me, anyway?” Kellan asks. “You’re the one who was invited to the party, I wasn’t.”

  “Right! And if I go this year, maybe I can get you invited next year—”

  Kellan interrupts me. “I don’t care about some stupid party. I care about this walk. And I thought you did too.” />
  “I do.” I step closer to him, but he takes a step backward. “But I can’t be in two places at once.”

  “So you’ve made your decision, then?” Kellan asks.

  “Yes,” I say quietly. “Are you mad?”

  Kellan chuckles under his breath. “Am I mad? Are you kidding?”

  “Don’t be mad,” I say.

  “You can’t tell me how to feel.” Kellan turns around. “I’m going home.”

  “I’ll walk with you,” I say.

  “Don’t bother. I can do it myself. You just said so.”

  I watch him go, unsteady on his feet. As soon as he’s out of sight, the sob that’s been lingering in my throat lets loose. I don’t know how long I cry, but after there aren’t any tears left, I start the long walk back to my house.

  Alone.

  chapter

  26

  MY MOM’S CAR IS IN the driveway when I get home. And then I remember.

  Family meeting.

  Family meetings aren’t a regular thing in our house. We’ve had only a few of them, but they’re quite memorable. Mom calls family meetings only when something has gone very, very wrong.

  Mom and Dad are already seated at the kitchen table when I walk in. Mom’s holding a paper coffee cup, and Dad is leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed.

  “Where’s your sister?” Mom asks.

  “Which one?”

  “Which one do you think?” Mom glares at me, as if it’s my fault Eliza’s not here.

  I glance at the clock on the microwave. “You said five o’clock. She still has three minutes.”

  Mom takes a long, loud slurp of her coffee. “You might as well sit down until she gets here,” she says.

  I slide into my chair and wait.

  Eliza comes in two minutes later. She actually laughs when she sees us all sitting there. “You guys don’t waste any time,” she says.

  “Sit down,” Mom demands.

  Eliza goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of iced tea. “Where’s Coco?”

  “She’s upstairs watching a movie,” Mom says.

  “I thought this was a family meeting.” Eliza opens the iced tea and takes a sip.

  “Coco’s not old enough to understand,” Mom says, her jaw clenching.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Eliza says. “You guys treat her like she’s the family pet. How’s she ever going to learn responsibility?”

  “Excuse me”—Mom pushes on her chair and stands up—“but you don’t get to decide how Coco is raised.”

  “How she’s raised?” Eliza is yelling now. “The only thing raising Coco is the television and Chips Ahoy!”

  “Eliza, that’s enough,” Dad says. But his voice sounds tired.

  “You two are too busy with your own drama to raise anyone. It’s too late for me, but maybe you could step up and get it right with Molly or Coco.”

  “You have no right to talk to us that way,” Mom says. “We are excellent parents. We provide you a house to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear. Do you think you’re entitled to all of that?”

  “I’ve had a job since I was fourteen. When was the last time you bought me clothes, Mom?”

  Mom opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it again.

  “And yes, you do provide a house and food. But isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? It’s like you guys do the bare minimum on the parenting checklist and expect to be rewarded mightily.”

  “I can’t believe how ungrateful you are,” Mom says. “Maybe you should live on your own for a while and see how you like it.”

  Eliza laughs. “I’ve been living on my own for years. You want to kick me out of the house? Fine.”

  “Okay, okay.” Dad’s voice is a little louder now. “This isn’t very productive.”

  Eliza flops down on a chair and stares at him. “What did you hope to accomplish, then?”

  “We need to set some ground rules for you, Eliza. You need a curfew, and you need to maintain a certain GPA, and you need to—”

  “And what do you need to do?” Eliza interrupts him.

  “This isn’t about us,” Mom says.

  “Maybe it should be.” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them, and Mom, Dad, and Eliza stare at me as if I’ve sprouted a second head.

  “What did you say, Molly?” Mom’s using her lawyer voice, and I swallow hard.

  “Well . . .” I sit up straighter in my chair, trying to make room in my stomach for the butterflies that have just hatched in it. “This is a family meeting, right? So it should be about the family, about all of us. Not just Eliza. But you guys, me, and even Coco.”

  “So you two are ganging up on us now? Is that what this is about?” Mom’s lawyer voice is gone, and it’s been replaced with a shaky, weaker version of Mom’s regular voice.

  “No, Mom.” I take a deep breath. “Maybe Eliza makes mistakes. I know I make mistakes. But you guys make mistakes too.”

  Dad leans forward in his chair, his hands clasped on the table in front of him. “What kind of mistakes do you think we make, Molly?”

  “You’re—you’re just—” I stammer to get the words out. It’s not easy to tell your parents the truth sometimes, especially when the truth will hurt their feelings. “You’re not around much. You don’t know what’s going on in our lives. You just seem way more concerned with yourselves.”

  Mom doesn’t say anything, but her face is hard, like she’s turned into a statue.

  Dad puts the palms of his hands over his eyes. “You know this hasn’t been the easiest time for us,” he says. “We’ve been having problems of our own.”

  “I know,” I say. “But plenty of parents who are breaking up still know what’s going on with their kids.”

  “Well, this is ridiculous.” Mom stands up again, grabbing her purse off the back of her chair. “Clearly, Eliza and Molly have banded together. This is typical of this age. Maybe you two will come to your senses when you’re adults and see how good you’ve had it.”

  “Oh, come on, Karen,” Dad says. “Don’t get like that. Stay and let’s have this meeting.”

  “I’m not going to sit here and be ridiculed,” Mom says.

  “Nobody’s ridiculing anyone,” Dad says. “But this does need to be hashed out. It sounds like it’s long overdue.”

  “Fine.” Mom starts walking toward the door. “You all hash this out and call me when you’re done. I have important things to do.”

  And then she’s gone.

  Dad, Eliza, and I sit at the table in silence. I pick at a hangnail, waiting for someone else to say something.

  “Eliza,” Dad finally says, “why don’t you get Coco so we can finish this meeting?”

  Eliza runs up the stairs and comes down with Coco trailing her.

  “I want to go back to my movie. It was just getting to the good part,” Coco whines.

  “You can finish it later.” Dad points to a chair. “Please sit down. We’re having a family meeting.”

  “What’s that?” Coco scrunches up her nose.

  “It’s a meeting where we all talk about what’s happening in our lives, including things that might be bothering us,” Dad says.

  “I’m bothered that I had to stop my movie.” Coco’s legs are swinging from the chair.

  “Well, we should talk about that,” Dad says. “I think maybe you’re spending too much time watching TV. What do you think?”

  “I like TV,” Coco says.

  “I know you do,” Dad says. “And I’m not saying you can’t watch it anymore. But aren’t there other things you like to do too?”

  Coco puts her finger on her chin and thinks. “I like to paint. We do that in school sometimes.”

  “Wonderful!” Dad claps his hands together. “What about if we sign you up for a painting class? Would you like that?”

  “Yeah,” Coco says.

  “And what about you, Molly?” Dad turns to me. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
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br />   I consider spilling my guts right there, telling them all about my fight with Kellan, and my decision to go to the Birthday Bash instead of the MD Walk, and how I’m mad at Mom for walking out. But as I look at Dad’s anxious face, it’s too much at once. Dad’s trying, and I have a feeling his parenting path will be filled with baby steps.

  “Not really,” I say. “Except that I think we should have family meetings more often.”

  “It’s a date,” Dad says, a huge smile covering his face.

  Eliza gives me a thumbs-up under the table, and I know she’s thinking what I’m thinking.

  It’s a good start.

  chapter

  27

  THE NEXT WEEK AT SCHOOL is weird. There’s so much excitement about the Birthday Bash. The few people who were invited can talk about nothing else, and those who weren’t invited make us promise to post pictures and share details. We’re all chatting about what we’re wearing, who’s going to sit where, and how bad we feel for everyone who’s not going. Kids are constantly waving at me or seeking my advice on everything from hairstyles to history homework. I am never, ever alone.

  And yet, I still feel lonely. Kellan hasn’t contacted me since I told him I wasn’t going to the walk. But to be fair, I haven’t reached out to him either. It feels like there’s a huge hole in my heart where he once was. And as much as I like spending time with Christina and her group, it’s not the same. But I guess deep friendships take time to build, and I’m sure in time I’ll feel that way about them too. Soon, hopefully.

  I wake up way too early on Saturday morning. My body is buzzing, almost like it’s in overdrive. It’s too early to get dressed, so I try to distract myself by checking my e-mail. Besides a lot of spam, there’s a message from the Muscular Dystrophy Society.

  To: Molly Mahoney

  From: Muscular Dystrophy Society

  Subject: Good luck, Team Chocolate Chip Cookies!

  Today’s the big day! As a member of Kellan Bingham’s team, here are some reminders for the day. Check-in starts at 9:00 a.m., and the Walk begins at 10:00. Parking is available in the municipal field parking lot, and volunteers will be on hand to help get you where you need to be. We hope you enjoy the day, and we thank you again for your support! People like you really do make a difference in the lives of those living with muscular dystrophy.