Alton's Secret Baby

by Iris Parker

  Refusing to let me breathe.

  And then, in my desperation, I’d done the unthinkable by tricking Alton in Atlantic City. I was relieved that’d forgiven me for it, because I wasn’t sure that I ever could forgive myself. Somehow, he’d saved me even when I thought there was nothing left to save.

  And then he’d saved Ezra.

  The fear was still there inside of me, reminding me that my finances were utterly ruined and I’d lost my job. But at least my family was safe at last. And even if I wasn’t ready for a new baby right now, there was still time to be ready. I had six weeks at most, and I owed it to my daughter to make them count.

  And to Alton, too, chimed a little voice in my heart. I tried to push the thought away, wishing I could let him in somehow, but it was just not possible. Not with Ezra, not with a new daughter, and not with our history. Even if we somehow ended up together, there would always be that unspoken truth between us—that fatherhood was exhausting, and I’d deliberately robbed him of his choice.

  I closed my eyes and sighed, devastated by the bitter reminder.

  “I should rest a bit, yes,” I said apologetically. I needed more than rest—three days of sleep sounded like a good start—but there wasn’t time for that. Not when Ezra still needed me.

  “I’ll keep an eye on Ezra and make sure he gets fed,” Mrs. Hamilton said. I nodded, glad that she understood what was at stake. “After that I can show him around the place a little. Maybe I’ll even call my grandson and see if he has any suggestions for things to do. Erik is about the same age as Ezra, so he might have good ideas. You just focus on getting some rest, would you? That’s why you’re here, after all.”

  I nodded, reluctant to impose yet again on yet another person, but I wasn't sure I had much choice. I needed to rest, for the baby’s sake if nothing else.

  “Great. Pete will show you to your room, then.”

  I followed the man down the hall and past several large wooden doors. He stopped as we approached the end, gesturing at one of the nearest rooms with a little smile.

  “This one is for Ezra. Sorry about the walls. I really wanted to give them a fresh coat of paint before he got here, but there just wasn’t enough time,” he explained regretfully. “But as it was, giving them a thorough washing was all we could do. First with bleach, then vinegar. Think it’s enough?”

  I nodded, humbled by the incredible generosity we’d been shown since arriving. I still felt disoriented, but knowing that two strangers had put so much work into sterilizing my son’s bedroom once again made my eyes start to mist up.

  “No need for that,” Pete said, extending his arms to give me a big hug. After giving me a moment to collect myself we continued on to my bedroom, and I gasped as I first laid eyes on what must have been Mrs. Hamilton’s work.

  Colorful rugs provided accents to the floor, ringed around a huge bed that was covered in matching pillows and throws. Vases full of fresh-cut flowers decorated the dresser, while the nightstand held a small red tray filled with an assortment of muffins and homemade hand pies. Next to that was an insulated thermos which, if the rest of the room was any indication, probably contained a wonderfully relaxing warm drink.

  “Herbal tea,” Pete explained as he followed my gaze. “And your suitcase is there in the corner,” he added.

  “It’s perfect, thank you so much,” I said, giving the bed a test by sitting on it. The mattress seemed to mold itself to my body, and I sighed happily as I realized just how comfortable it felt.

  “It’s no problem. You just get some rest, you clearly need it,” Pete said with a nod. “Don’t worry, we’ll handle everything else,” he said, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

  I took off my shoes, already feeling a bit better at the chance to be alone and breathe for a moment. After so many years of struggle, my life had finally taken a real turn towards stability and relief. I needed to remember that I had a lot to be grateful for, and that getting caught up with worry about the future wouldn’t solve anything. I needed to enjoy this moment while it—and Alton’s generosity—lasted.

  With that in mind I fell back into bed, getting a quick glimpse of the gorgeous ceiling before my eyes closed entirely on their own. Blissfully, I realized there wasn't anything else in the damn world that I wanted more in this instant than to relax, and finally find peaceful sleep.

  Nothing else.

  Except maybe one thing.

  Alton’s smile popped into my head. Thinking of him made me happy, and with great effort I opened my eyes again and rolled over, just barely managing to retrieve the phone from my bag.

  I wanted to call and tell him—but tell him what, exactly?

  That I was sorry?

  That I was forever grateful?

  Or maybe—just maybe, if I could only find the courage—I could call him to tell him that I missed him already.

  I looked at the phone in confusion, my eyes closing as my mind went around in circles about what to say. The phone slipped through my fingers before I realized what was happening. I drifted off to sleep at last, images of Alton, Ezra, and a baby girl running through my head.

  Chapter Six

  Jessie

  The smell of fresh-baked lasagna filled the room, tickling my nose to gently rouse me from sleep. It took a long time, as the soft and warm sheets beneath me felt incredibly inviting. The fluffy pillow below my head tempted me further, urging me to rest for just a few more minutes.

  I dozed a while longer, floating lazily while I half-dreamed about the delicious food. When my mind finally began to awaken, it pulled me into a reality that I wasn’t quite fully aware of. The details revealed themselves to me slowly, each one a little clue.

  The bed was luxurious and comfortable, much better than what I was used to. My eyes flitted open and I found a dimly lit bedroom that I didn’t know, only vaguely recognizing the gorgeous vase of flowers on the dresser. More pieces fell into place as I backtracked further, remembering the warm welcome Ezra and I had gotten from the Hamiltons. One thing led to another, until finally I remembered the helicopter trip that had taken us here and the joy on Ezra’s face as we flew through the air.

  Alton.

  This was all his doing, from the trip here to the lifesaving donation that had made it possible. A small sigh escaped my lips as I pictured the last time I’d seen the man, his face grave and full of regret that he couldn’t join us immediately. He’d given a long, loving hug to Ezra before turning and wrapping his strong arms around me, and I could’ve melted right then and there.

  It was like the good news about Ezra had flipped a switch inside of Alton, the doubts and fears giving way to the same quiet confidence I’d seen in Atlantic City. As he held me tight in his arms, all those old feelings came flooding back in an instant. From our mutual attraction to the incredibly natural sense of compatibility, it almost felt like nothing had changed between us.

  Except of course something had changed, both literally and figuratively. Because unlike in Atlantic City, when he embraced me now we needed to be careful. The bump in my stomach grew with each passing day, a daughter that I would doubtlessly love and cherish forever…but also a clear, obvious reminder of my betrayal. Even if my feelings had been genuine, the entire trip had been a total sham. I’d lied to Alton, and the proof of that was plainly visible just by looking at me.

  There was no way to come back from that.

  I sat up in bed, pushing the hair out of my face with a sigh. I’d done what I thought was necessary to save Ezra, and regretting the past could never change it. If I allowed myself time to stop and look back, I knew that the despair and guilt would eat me alive. For the sake of my family and those around me, I needed to stay strong.

  Forcing myself to be positive, I stretched out and yawned. In spite of everything, at least I felt more rested than I had in a very long time. I’d gotten used to waking up sore and exhausted, but tonight I actually felt rejuvenated. Running my hand over my belly, I played with t
he baby’s soft kicks and smiled. It didn’t take long before my stomach started rumbling, and I realized just how hungry I was.

  Remembering the muffins on the nightstand, I rolled over to grab one only to find that the tray was missing. I paused, a sense of unease settling in my chest. Someone had been in the bedroom while I was asleep, I realized with a shiver. I suddenly remembered that I’d collapsed on top of bed fully dressed, but that wasn’t how I woke up—wearing one of the t-shirts from my luggage.

  The thought that Mrs. Hamilton might’ve taken such liberties filled me with anger and fear, but also surprise. That wasn’t the kind of impression I’d gotten from her at all, but then, I’d hardly taken the time to get to know her in detail. I’d practically passed out as soon as I walked through the door, after all. And where was Ezra? The thought that I’d left him alone with two strangers, even ones Alton had vouched for, made me feel foolish and irresponsible. I needed to check on him now, and my heart was thumping loud in my chest as I leapt from bed and hurried to go find him.

  Flinging the door open, I bumped straight into a large man’s chest. I looked up and saw a very surprised Alton. His hand was raised in mid-air, as if I’d caught him moments before he knocked.

  “Well…hello there,” he said, the wide eyes and raised eyebrows quickly making way for a radiant smile on his lips. “How are you, sweetie?”

  “I, uh…,” I said, struggling to wrap my head around what I was seeing. Alton’s unexpected appearance had me extremely confused, and I wondered if maybe this was all just another dream about him. Nothing about this felt like a dream however, so I refrained from sprinting back into bed. “Where is Ezra? Is he okay?”

  “Of course,” Alton said with a reassuring smile. “He’s in the living room, where he’s been beating me at Mario Kart all afternoon. I was just checking in before he hands me another humiliating defeat, actually. Want to come?”

  “But…why are you here?” I asked, relieved to hear that Ezra was okay but still very confused by the situation.

  “It’s my house,” Alton replied, giving me a strange look. “You mean you forgot? What’s the last thing you remember? Maybe I should call a doctor and—”

  “I remember everything,” I said, shaking my head to fight off the disorientation. “But…how are you here so fast? You had business in Boston. And even the helicopter took a while to get here. What did you do, charter a jet or something?”

  “Wouldn’t help, the nearest suitable airport is too far away,” Alton said with a soft chuckle. “But I see what’s going on. Don’t worry about it, there’s a simple explanation for everything. You obviously needed sleep, and we decided not to wake you up.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense either,” I said, glancing out the window. “The sun is still up. We just got here a few hours ago.”

  “That was yesterday, Jessie,” Alton said carefully.

  “You mean I’ve been asleep for an entire day?” I asked.

  “More or less,” Alton explained. “You did wake up a few times for a second or two. Usually when I came in to check on you or bring you water. That’s why I didn’t explain right away, because I thought you remembered.”

  “I thought those were dreams,” I said, blushing a little. I dimly remembered numerous dreams about Alton, ranging anywhere from lusty fantasies to tender moments where he helped me drink water. It suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t know which memories were real and which were dreams. “We didn’t actually…uh…,” I began, cutting it off the moment I realized what I was confessing.

  “Have sex?” Alton finished, dashing my hopes that he wouldn’t understand what I’d meant. His eyes looked me over intensely, pausing briefly on my now-larger breasts and stomach. “Not recently.”

  Mortified, I wondered if maybe I could forget this conversation if I ran back to bed and slept more.

  “I—uh—I—” I stammered, until finally arriving at a plausible excuse. “I just mean, when a girl wakes up half-naked in a strange bed, she tends to wonder.”

  “Does that happen to you often?” Alton asked, and the only thing that stopped me from crawling into a hole and dying was the mischievous glint in his eye and the teasing tone in his voice.

  “Of course not!”

  “Good,” Alton said. His hand reached out to graze the side of my shirt, but stopped just short of touching me. His voice sounded heavy and possessive, sending bolts of lightning straight into my heart.

  I swallowed hard, waiting for him to continue. But instead he changed the subject.

  “I’d forgotten just how adorable you look when you sleep.”

  “Thanks—thanks for taking care of me. I guess I needed it,” I said hesitantly. “I guess you undressed me, too?”

  “Yes. But notice how I re-dressed you, too,” he said, his eyebrows shooting up comically. I wanted to smile, but instead felt another blush creeping up my neck and cheeks.

  “Halfway,” I pointed out.

  “It’s remarkably easy to take someone’s clothes off with your eyes closed. You just keep tugging and eventually you’re done. Getting someone dressed with your eyes closed, however, is a different matter entirely. I didn’t think you’d appreciate me fumbling around there with my fingers.”

  “You kept your eyes closed?” I asked. It was a huge relief to learn that not only was there an innocent explanation for my change in clothes, but also that Alton had gone out of his way to be a gentleman about it.

  “I did,” Alton agreed with a smile, even as some part of me was determined to overthink and overanalyze everything.

  Maybe Alton had only kept his eyes closed because he didn’t want to see anything—there was certainly nothing sexy at the moment, that was for sure. My belly was huge, my breasts were sagging, and I hadn’t showered in days.

  I did my best to ignore the worry, reminding myself that he wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble if he didn’t feel some kind of connection with me. That reassurance was reinforced when Alton smiled at me, bringing his hand up to my cheek to slowly run it down the side of my face. I wanted to say something but didn’t know what, and by the time his fingers reached my lips I was moaning softly. Alton’s face was a mix of concern and desire, but nowhere in it did I see any trace of disgust. For a second it even seemed to be inching forward, getting closer to mine, but nothing happened.

  A salve of laughter and yells came from the living room, the sound of a young boy’s voice that I knew very well. It had been so long since I’d heard that kind of liveliness from Ezra, and my skin erupted in small bumps as I looked at Alton.

  “He’ll be really excited to know you’re up,” Alton said with a smile. “He’s been asking about you. I think he wants more witnesses to watch him beating me in Mario Kart.”

  I laughed, rushing to the corner of the room to open my suitcase and find something a bit more modest. The extra long t-shirt was fine for my bedroom, but hardly appropriate for the Hamiltons. My nightgown was at the very bottom of the container, but it didn’t take me long to change once I’d found it.

  “Mom!” Ezra shouted as I arrived, joyfully laughing and jumping from the couch to greet me. “You slept and slept and slept,” he admonished playfully. Before I could apologize, he kept going. “But I’ve had loads of fun! Erik and I are on one team against Nanette and Alton, but they’ve never beat us!”

  “Yeah, not even once!” A boy on the couch, who had to be Erik, chimed in excitedly.

  “You’re up!” Mrs. Hamilton said, her smile a mile wide and her eyes twinkling in a way I’d only seen from my own mom. “And that means you’re up,” she added with a wink, putting her controller down.

  “She’s probably starving,” Alton pointed out, and I nodded sheepishly. I was glad that he was watching my back, maybe in more ways than one.

  But Mrs. Hamilton was already trotting off to the kitchen. When she returned a moment later, she was carrying a heaping plate of steamy lasagna.

  “To be honest, you could probably play whil
e eating and it wouldn’t make a very big difference. The boys are undefeated for a reason, you know,” she said, and everyone erupted in laughter.

  “Probably,” Alton agreed. “But I was thinking we could set a table outside on the porch, get Jessie some fresh air,” he said, closing in behind me.

  “I wouldn’t want to be a nuisance—” I began, but Nanette was already scampering off with the lasagna still in hand. I looked at Alton, unsure of what to do, but he just smiled and nodded towards the door.

  “Would you mind setting a place for me, too?” Alton called to Nanette before she finished leaving, and she agreed. “Her lasagna is the best,” he told me.

  “It really is, Mom! It’s even better than the mac and cheese the hospital served on Wednesdays,” Ezra confirmed, and I marveled at seeing my boy looking so lively and happy. I walked up to him and, leaning forward, left a small kiss on his cheek. He leaned into me as always, but after a moment he pulled back and blushed.

  “Mooom,” he complained, looking in Erik’s direction. I could hardly believe just how much Ezra had already improved since we got here, and I was incredibly grateful to Alton for making this trip possible. Aside from the bald head and ashen face, my son was looking—and acting—like a normal boy his age, and that was amazing.

  “I’ll be outside with Alton, then, if you need anything,” I said to Ezra. His only reply was the clear, heartwarming laughter of a young boy who was reclaiming his life.

  And that was worth more than anything to me.

  Alton

  Jessie watched Nanette’s slow movements carefully, as if she were a wildlife biologist studying some new species of animal. Jessie had already made one attempt to get up and help, a plan that Nanette shot down with ruthless efficiency. I chuckled, remembering my own similar experiences when I’d first hired the couple. Allowing the older woman to wait on me had been difficult, but convincing her that it was unnecessary had been much harder.