Red Dirt Blues

by David K. Wilson

Dean began to crawl around the perimeter of the store.

  “Mister, I don’t know Jade or Jen or Whatever Her Name Is did to you, but none of us know nothing about any of that,” Mama said. “We are innocent.”

  “Because of you, she has escaped with my diamond,” Viktor snapped.

  “I don’t know nothing about diamonds, mister,” Mama said. “But that weren’t even that big.”

  Viktor smirked.

  “That diamond was part of the collection of the Romanov Dynasty,” he explained. “It was priceless. And now it is gone because of….”

  Before he could finish his sentence, Randy emerged from the backroom with a shotgun pointed directly at Viktor.

  “You leave my mama alone, you son of a bitch,” he demanded.

  Leo aimed his gun at Randy but was quicky decommissioned by the butt of Dean’s pistol. He dropped, unconscious, and Dean, who had successfully snuck up behind the Russians, turned his gun on Viktor.

  “You heard the man,” he said.

  Viktor smiled at Dean and then turned to Randy.

  “I don’t think you want to do that,” he said.

  “Oh, believe me,” Randy countered. “I really, really do.”

  “But what about your mother?” Viktor asked.

  Randy turned to see Peter standing behind his mother, one hand over her mouth and the other holding a gun to her head.

  63

  Now that Viktor and his goons had Mama as their hostage, they were able to quickly get everyone else to lay down their weapons. Finding some rope in the back room, they tied everyone up and sat them in a line along the front wall. Viktor forced the sheriff to call off the reinforcements, saying it was a false alarm, and threatened to shoot everyone if he even suspected seeing law enforcement.

  Feeling in control again, Viktor paced back and forth in front of his captive audience, stopping in front of Dean.

  “Do you know where she went?” he asked.

  “Of course not,” Dean answered.

  Viktor nodded and paced some more, finally stopping in front of Randy. He crouched down in front of him.

  “But you do,” he said.

  Randy shook his head.

  “I don’t even know who she is,” he protested.

  “But you both run after this one,” Viktor said, pointing to a still-unconscious Amy Jo, who was propped up and tied at the end of the row.

  “I was running after Jen, or Jade, to stop her from doing anything drastic,” Randy said.

  “Are you to meet later?” Viktor asked. “Do you think she will show?”

  “We thought she was from Dallas,” Mama interjected.

  Viktor nodded at Mama and smiled.

  “A high-faluttin’ big city girl?” he teased, faking a Southern accent on top of his Russian accent.

  He turned his attention back to Randy.

  “I am curious,” he said. “Did you think you had chance with her? You think she would, how you say, sink that low?”

  Randy hung his head, embarrassed and ashamed in front of everyone.

  “It wasn’t like that,” he muttered.

  Viktor lifted his chin with the barrel of his gun.

  “But you wished it.”

  “If anyone was sinking it was Randy,” Mama snapped. “He’s better than her and he’s better than you.”

  Viktor smiled at Mama, unthreatened by her words. He turned his attention back to Dean.

  “We take FBI man’s car,” he said. “And, couple of hostages.”

  He stood and walked back and forth, considering each potential candidate.

  “Of course, you,” he said, pointing at Dean. “FBI is protective of their own. But woman would also be nice.”

  He looked at Mama, then Pauline, then Amy Jo. He pointed at Amy Jo and addressed Mama.

  “You call her tramp, da?”

  Mama nodded and Viktor smiled.

  “You can tell,” he said with a wink.

  Mama looked around at everyone with an ‘I-told-you-so’ look.

  “Does she have children?” Viktor asked.

  When Mama replied that she didn’t, he shook his head.

  “She will not do then,” he said. “Even with heart of gold.”

  He looked Pauline up and down.

  “And this one,” he said. “On plus side, she would not take up much room.”

  “I still gotta pee,” Pauline protested.

  “Moving on,” Viktor said, walking in front of Mama and kneeling down. “The Thunder Woman. Mama. May I call you Mama?”

  “You most certainly may not,” Mama said.

  Viktor slapped her. Not hard, but hard enough for her to know he wasn’t playing.

  “You are wrong. I call you whatever the hell I want.”

  He stood again.

  “But I have feeling you would not be worth grief you will most certainly cause,” he said. “Maybe FBI agent is enough.”

  He walked over to Dean and demanded the keys to his rental car then turned to Peter and Leo.

  “Keep agent. Kill others.”

  He turned to leave but froze in his tracks when he found himself staring directly in the face of Jade.

  64

  Jade smiled at a stunned Viktor.

  “Sorry,” she said. “You know how I hate to leave a mess.”

  Before he could respond, she leveled him with a power kick to the chest that sent him sailing into a shelf. Leo and Peter both turned and raised their guns but were no match for Jade’s lightning-fast moves.

  Flip. Punch. Kick. Spin.

  In a flurry of motion, she kicked both guns out of the Russians’ hands and threw Leo into the wall. He toppled to the ground like a ragdoll. Peter pulled a knife and lunged at her, but she dodged his attack, leaning to the side and using his own momentum to flip him to the floor, grabbing the knife in the process.

  She rushed to Randy, cutting his binds and handing him the knife.

  “Free the others and get out,” she said before turning her attention back to the Russians.

  All three of them had struggled back to their feet and charged Jade. She fended each of them off in a blur of kicks and punches. When Randy freed Dean, the agent rushed to assist Jade. Randy helped Mama to her feet and tried to guide her outside, but she shook off his arm.

  “Oh, hell no,” she said, storming toward the action.

  Jade punched Peter and he spun around, where he was met with another powerful nose punch from Mama. The henchman dropped to his knees and Pauline, who had charged into the chaos, reared back a foot and kicked him hard between the legs. Several times.

  As Stonewall and Toby slid along the back wall, avoiding the fight, Pauline continued her attack, maniacally throwing goat figurines at the Russians. Unfortunately, her aim wasn’t that good, and she accidentally pelted Sheriff McKinney in the back of the head. He fell to the ground unconscious, his face landing in Amy Jo’s lap.

  After trading several punches with Leo, Dean soon lost the upper hand and found himself pinned against the wall. Leo began to choke him and Dean struggled to breath. He stared into the Russian’s menacing eyes and saw them suddenly grow wide in surprise. His grip released from Dean’s throat and he fell to the ground. Jade had come up from behind him and hit him over the head with a large terracotta goat head. Dean nodded in appreciation at his unlikely battle partner and Jade nodded back in acknowledgement.

  Mama spotted Peter’s pistol lying on the floor on the other side of the room. With the moves of a college fullback, she plowed toward it, dodging and weaving and pushing people out of her way. She scooped up the gun and made her way through the chaos to Viktor, grabbing him and firing the gun into the air.

  Everyone froze and turned to see Mama holding the pistol to Viktor’s temple.

  “You better get to your knees, boys,” she shouted. “And start praying to God I calm the hell down real quick.”

  Viktor raised his hands in surrender and slowly dropped to his knees. Peter and Leo followed suit. Dean pulled o
ut his cuffs and put Viktor’s hands behind his back while Randy gently took the gun from his mother’s hands. Knowing things were under control, Stonewall picked up the other stray gun and held it on Leo and Peter.

  “I got these two goons for ya,” he announced heroically.

  Randy surveyed the room to make sure everyone was accounted for. Coming up one short, he looked outside toward his truck.

  65

  Jade crouched in Randy’s truck, trying to spark two wires and jumpstart the engine.

  “Hey!”

  “Shit,” Jade muttered upon hearing Randy’s voice.

  She worked more frantically to hotwire the truck, but Randy opened the truck door before she could get a spark.

  “Get out of my way, Randy,” she said.

  “Maybe these will help,” Randy said.

  Jade looked up to see Randy’s truck keys dangling in front of her. She sat up, shocked, and took them from him.

  “I promise I’ll take good care of her,” she said. “I’ll leave her at the border. Unharmed. At least by me.”

  She started the engine.

  “Thanks for coming back,” Randy said.

  Jade smiled.

  “What? And miss all the fun?” she teased. “Besides, I was afraid of what your mother might do to them.”

  “I’m never gonna forget you,” Randy said.

  Jade smiled. “You might.”

  On a whim, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then, in what would easily be the bravest thing Randy had done in a day filled with heroics, he took her head in his hands and kissed her back on the lips. He meant for it to be a short, gentle kiss, but they found themselves pulling toward each other and kissing harder. Finally, she pulled away and grinned.

  “Well, now you certainly won’t,” she said.

  An ear-to-ear grin spread over Randy’s face and Jade laughed as she shut the truck door.

  “Take care of yourself, Randy,” she said through the open window. “Remember, no one else is gonna do it for you.”

  And with that parting shot, she peeled away, leaving a cloud of red clay dust in her wake.

  Dean rushed out of The Lazy Goat and, seeing Jade speed away, fumbled for his cell phone. But before he could dial a number, Mama walked up behind him and grabbed the phone out of his hands.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

  “She’s getting away!” Dean protested.

  “Exactly,” Mama replied with a smile.

  Dean watched helplessly as the truck drove out of sight. He looked at Mama and then at Randy, finally nodding in surrender. But as he put his phone away, he smiled.

  “Good luck,” he muttered under his breath.

  Then he turned to the mother and son.

  “But she only got away because I let her,” he said with a wink.

  66

  Randy pulled on a fresh T-shirt. It had been one helluva day. It wasn’t long after Jade left that a drove of police, FBI, paramedics and media vans took over the parking lot. The rest of the day had been spent in interrogations and interviews. Lucas had collected Clyde’s body and moved the funeral out a day. This time it would be a small family affair. Mama’s orders.

  He turned when he heard a soft knock at his door to see his mother.

  “Mind if I come in?” she said in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

  She sat down on the edge of Randy’s bed.

  “Well, ain’t this been a day for the record books?” she joked.

  “How are you?” Randy asked. “You feeling alright?”

  Mama waved him off. “I’m fine. Ain’t nothing your mama can’t handle.”

  Randy laughed and Mama reached out and grabbed his hands.

  “Randall, I know I can be a truckload sometimes. And you may think I always favored your brother. But you need to know I showed him more love because I knew he couldn’t make it on his own. I never worried about that with you. But maybe sometimes I forgot you needed your Mama, too.”

  Randy sat down beside her, not knowing what to say.

  “You were the golden child. The one that could do whatever he wanted. You still can.”

  Randy shook his head. “I can’t complain, Mama.”

  “No, because that ain’t your nature. But your dreams are too big for this little town, son. And I sure as hell ain’t gonna stand in your way if you wanna go catch big fish in Florida.”

  Randy was stunned. Before he could even ask how she knew, Mama answered.

  “A mama always knows,” Mama said, fudging the truth a little bit. “Now I need you to help me bury your brother and sell the Lazy Goat, but you call your friend and tell him you’re coming. I always wanted to visit Florida anyway.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Have I ever said anything I didn’t mean?”

  Randy laughed and gave her a big hug.

  “I love you, Mama.”

  “You sure as hell better. I saved your ass today.”

  “You two get in here!” Pauline yelled from the other room. “It’s starting!”

  The mother and son walked into the living room just as the news report started.

  A female reporter stood in The Lazy Goat parking lot that was swarming with FBI trucks, police cars, ambulances and news vans.

  “Earlier today, the sleepy little East Texas town of Red Dirt became the scene of a violent hostage situation that has resulted in the apprehension of several suspects, including the alleged head of a notorious Russian crime family.”

  “This is it!” Pauline yelled.

  Mama shushed her sister with a wave of her hand as the reporter continued.

  “One of the hostages was Lucille Philpot, known to locals as Mama. Lucille, can you tell us what happened?”

  The camera pulled back to reveal Mama standing proudly next to the reporter. Pauline was standing next to Mama but was cut out of frame except for when she occasionally leaned her head in to smile at the camera.

  “I watch you all the time on TV,” Mama said to the reporter. “You wear a lot more makeup in person. And you’re a skinny little thang.”

  The reporter nodded graciously and repeated her question to Mama.

  “I was fixing to get to it. Calm down,” Mama said. “We was at my son Clyde’s funeral. Rest his sweet soul.”

  She went on to describe how ‘the stripper skank had caused all sorts of problems.’ How her son was the big hero of the day and how the sheriff had taken a bullet protecting her sister. No mention was made of Jade. When pushed for more information, Mama stated, in a very offical-sounding voice, that ‘the event was under investigation and she wasn’t allowed to say anything else.’

  Mama beamed at her television debut.

  “You looked real nice, Lucy,” Pauline said.

  “I couldn’t be prouder,” Randy said, his arm wrapped tight around his mother’s shoulder.

  67

  One week later…

  Giant pieces of plywood covered the broken windows of the building formerly known as The Lazy Goat. The iconic sign near the road had been removed and construction equipment littered the empty parking lot.

  Stonewall’s truck sputtered past a cement mixer and parked in front of the building. He and Toby stepped out and surveyed the situation.

  “I see you’re putting that insurance money to good use,” Stonewall sneered loudly for anyone to hear. “I sure hope you set some of it aside.”

  When no one answered, he decided to go inside to make sure his threat was heard. But the doorknob was locked.

  “Don’t think you can hide in there,” Stonewall yelled.

  “Oh, that door’s locked,” a voice said matter-of-factly.

  Stonewall and Toby turned to see Dean walking around from the rear of the store. Dressed in a a filthy T-shirt and jeans, and wearing safety glasses and work gloves, he was almost unrecognizable.

  “Not quite ready for business yet,” he said with a smile.

  “Where’s Randy?�
�� Stonewall stammered, unable to hide his surprise.

  Dean shrugged and laughed.

  “Who knows with that kid, right?”

  He took his work gloves off.

  “Anything I can do for you boys?”

  “What are you doing here?” Toby asked.

  “Getting my place ready,” Dean said proudly.

  He told his two visitors how he had fallen in love with the area and decided to stay. He bought The Lazy Goat and was converting it into his passion project. He turned to look at the building, imagining the sign out front.

  “The Burrito Palace and Goat Emporium.”

  He turned back around to the two confused faces.

  “Part of the deal was I still need to sell goat figurines,” he explained. “That Mama can be a hard bargainer.”

  “This is bullshit,” Stonewall growled.

  “I know. I know,” Dean said. “Why compete with Perty’s? But it was their idea. They’re my partners. They get to expand, and I get a fresh start.”

  “What kind of burritos?” Toby asked.

  “All kinds,” Dean answered. “And fresh made. Local.”

  “Randy owes us money,” Stonewall griped. “So by proxy, you owe us money.”

  Dean raised a finger and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. He unlocked the front door and walked inside. Stonewall and Toby tried to peak in, but Dean walked back out before they had a chance.

  “Nuh-uh. It’s gotta be a surprise,” he said.

  He handed a thick manilla envelope to Stonewall.

  “That’s from Randy. He figured you’d be stopping by. It’s everything he owes you.”

  Stonewall looked in the envelope.

  “It’s all there,” Dean said. “Plus the $200 interest.”

  “I’ll count it later,” Stonewall said, handing the envelope to Toby.

  “If you don’t mind,” Dean said. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

  He turned his back on the two men, locked the front door and started walking around back.

  “Your gonna need some protection for your new place here,” Stonewall yelled out to him.