by Jesse West
The smirks, the mockery, the backwards personalities, and their sheer lack of compromise or open-mindedness was something that Jack wanted no part of. He realized this at a young age and he hated the fact that he had to be back in this miserable house with these people, but he wasn’t backing out now.
“Good to see you too, Nana.” He forced himself to say it. She rolled her eyes.
“So, where have you been?” Sue said quickly to ease the tension.
“Just working. Keeping myself occupied. Trying to find myself and just. Well, I don’t know. Live happily ever after. Haha.” He got lost in his own words, not thinking of what he was actually saying out loud. Sabrina found it funny so she chuckled. He shot her a look with a wink and she returned it. She was the one thing keeping him together.
“What like Cinderella? Looking for your shoe at the ball.” Sal shouted sarcastically with a bellowed laugh to follow. Bobby laughed and his mother smirked at his joke, but Jack didn’t think he said anything funny regardless of how he said it. He simply refocused his eyes back to the glass of water he had in front of him, picked it up and took a sip. The chuckles died down and his mother began rubbing his shoulder and reaching to hold his hand, wanting to connect with her son.
“How is your father?” she asked.
“Dad. Umm. Dad died.”
There was an uncomfortable silence at the table as everyone looked at him. No one was laughing.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry Jackie. I know how much you loved your father.” His mother said as she hugged him. “When did it happen?”
“Last month just before Halloween.”
“How come you never called me?”
“Didn’t think you cared. You and Dad weren’t the best of friends.”
“Yeah, I know that, but he was your father and you are my son and we are a family. I’m always here for you.” She noticed how Bobby was looking at her, like he didn’t exist, and that pissed him off. “We are always here for you, baby.” She added. “I’m sorry baby.” was how she left it.
“That’s rough, Jackie. I’m sorry to hear that.” Bobby told him, grabbing his other shoulder. Simply his touch was enough to make Jack cringe with distastefulness.
“Thanks, Bobby.” He replied.
“How did it happen?” he asked.
As if you care, he thought to himself.
“Well, his body just gave out. It couldn’t take it. He couldn’t keep it up anymore.” He answered as his face never left staring at his glass of water. All he could do was continue drinking from his glass.
“I’m really sorry you lost your Daddy, Jackie.” Sabrina said bringing his glare up out of his glass to look at her.
“Thanks, kiddo.” He said as he smirked at her.
She looked as if she had tears in her eyes, so close to making him break down in tears himself. Children are the only ones that show real, genuine emotion and concern. It’s how they are raised that makes children separate from that little shred of decency and compassion they are born with. It is truly unfortunate that the randomness in conduct and actions portrayed by one’s parents can alter the nature of a child so drastically.
“That’s tough man,” Bobby said, “I know how he was and the type of shit he was doing and I’m sure you know in your line of work how bad that can be for a person.”
Jack didn’t like where he was going with this line of commentary on his father’s behalf. He knew what his father was like, but he wasn’t stupid to what Bobby and his mother were like either. They had no right to judge him when they weren’t saints to be looking down at someone. He shot him a rough glance that he didn’t notice as he continued, “Ya keep doin’ that shit to your body and eventually your body is gonna give out.”
“What kind of shit was he doing?” Jimmy came in, he didn’t know what was going on and he was curious. His mother decided to fill him in.
“Well, Jackie’s dad wasn’t really the best man in the world, ya see. He went to prison when Jackie was just a kid for stabbing his uncle, Aunt Jeanette’s brother. You’ve never met him. This was years ago before we knew Jackie. Then she met your Uncle Bobby and they got pretty serious.” Sal nudged Jimmy on the shoulder as she said this, kind of a wink, wink nudge knowing that this would be something that was going to make Jimmy uncomfortable which it did. “A few years later, he got out of prison and tried to get back on track, get a job, get back on his feet, but he couldn’t do it. He had drug problems, alcohol problems, he was a wreck and Cousin Jackie was living with him…”
“SUE!” Jack’s mother shouted at her as she was talking.
“What?” she said confused then noticed she was gesturing towards Jack and his expression.
Depressed and buried in thought, listening to these people throw his father’s life around like a bad bedtime story to tell their kids. ‘Don’t be like this, kids, or else this will happen to you.’ Jack’s head began to boil with hate and disgust.
“Who are you people to judge my father?”
“I’m just being honest, Jackie.” Sue tried to say to cover her tracks, like the person who says ‘No offense’ directly before or after they say something offensive as if it lightens the blow of how ‘truthful’ you’re being.
“It’s ok, Sue. I know how he was,” he took another sip, and it seemed a bit of acceptance radiated from what he said. He continued “In fact, I’m the only one at this table that knows what he was really like.”
His tone became more defensive. You can see in his face that this was the moment. He couldn’t keep his cool anymore.
The comments.
The judgment.
He couldn’t let them speak anymore without being put down.
He went off on the entire table.
“I saw him deal with withdrawals. I saw him struggle to sleep at night. I counted his medication every single day to make sure he took the right amounts because he would forget and overdose. I dug food out of his mouth when he would fall asleep eating because of his medication. I stood in the waiting room at three different hospitals for about a dozen different operations that neither of us was sure he’d survive. Operations he needed because of his habits. His lungs were shot, his kidneys were useless, and his heart was completely fucked.”
“Ok, Jackie, take it easy.” Bobby tried saying but Jackie ignored him.
“Once, I came home to him lying on the floor because he passed out walking too fast. Walking too fast, can you believe that?” His voice became louder and more abrasive since he was finally not able to control himself.
“Calm down, Jackie.” His mother tried to have him relax since she noticed how upset he was getting.
“Calm down?!” he shouted in anger, “Calm down?! I don’t give a shit how much you hated Dad, I will not allow them to mock him like he was nothing!”
“Don’t you dare yell in my house!” Pauline shouted trying to seem almighty and make it sound like Jack was the one being disrespectful.
Jack just laughed at her.
“Don’t laugh at my mother when she tells you to do something!” Bobby said to him forcefully, as if he still had some kind of father image in Jacks mind. He didn’t realize that he saw him as nothing, nobody, not a threat to him and less of a man for the things he did. Jack looked him right in the eyes.
“Your mother,” quoting Bobby, “not mine.”
“Are you trying to disrespect me in my father’s home? Who do you think you are?” Bobby declared.
Jack laughed some more.
“What’s so funny?!” Bobby shouted in his face, spitting all over him.
“I’m laughing at you. All of you.” He looked around at the table, calmly. “You all think you’re so much better than everyone else. No one is better than the Viccaro’s. You think you’re family of the year, and you’re not. You,” looking directly at Bobby, “are far from it!”
“You got a lotta balls comin into my house and running your mouth like you’re some kind a big shot.” The first words Gene spoke to him all
night; his thick Italian accent almost makes him sound like he came right out of “The Godfather”. “You think cause you’re some city cop that you can say whatever you want in my house? You better apologize to me, to my wife, then you better get up, get your coat, and get the fuck out cause I won’t hesitate to put you right on your ass.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jack said, “See I came here because I needed to set some things straight…with all of you.” He pointed around the entire table till he got to Bobby “Especially you,” then he turned to his mother, “and you.”
His mother looked bewildered, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, what it means is,” he reached behind him, lifted up his shirt, pulled out his 9mm service issued pistol and held it in the air so everyone could see, “no one is going anywhere till I’ve said what I need to say.”
Everyone took a slight step back in shock. No one knew what to say. Bobby’s expression dropped. Sabrina started breathing heavily but Jack didn’t notice. Sal dropped his spoon as Sue grabbed his arm in fear. Paulina put her coffee mug down slowly as her expression changed from looking down at Jack as being nothing, to fearing him. Jimmy tried to keep his cool as he maneuvered himself in front of Vicky. Jack’s mother slid back away from him in her chair, the only sound being made as everyone sat there, staring at him. Jack took notice of all their movements, keeping his guard up.
“What are you doing, Jackie?” his mother asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
“What am I doing, mom? Well,” he pulled the trigger back to let it be known that the gun was real and loaded.
In that instant, Bobby attempted to grab the gun out of his hand but Jack is trained too well. He spun out his arm and twisted Bobby’s around, slamming his head and shoulder into the table and pressing the barrel into his face so he could see it and feel its cold steel against his skin. Sabrina screamed in fear and ran to Vicky not knowing what else to do as they watched. He took notice of Sal getting up rather quick as if to charge at him but he knew he was faster. He took the focus of the barrel off of Bobby’s head and pointed it right at Sal’s face, stopping him in his place. He kept the pressure on Bobby’s shoulder so he couldn’t move. Not only did the gun stop Sal, but also the look on Jack’s face was enough to strike a sense of dread in Sal more than any gun undoubtedly could.
“You,” he preceded to trace the gun from Sal and go around the room, pointing it at everyone, “All of you are staying right here,” till he got to his mother to which he left it pointed directly at her, “for as long as it takes.”
Foundation
On August 21st, 1985, a woman in labor was rushed to Maimonides Hospital; a medical center in the center of Sunset and Borough Park Brooklyn. The father, Michael Bogan, paces back and forth impatiently in the waiting room, showing both anxiousness and concern in his look each time he glances at the door.
Michael married Jeanette only a year or so ago. They had not been married much longer than she had been pregnant. Jeanette also has a 4 year old daughter of her own from her first marriage. Her name is Emily.
Michael had always felt that his relationship with Jeanette was questionable, but he was prepared to be a father. He had already become somewhat of a father to Emily even though her real father existed she didn’t remember him. He met Jeanette when she was pregnant with Emily and still with her first husband, Gregory. Michael was the ultrasound technician that worked for the doctor’s office where Jeanette and Gregory would go to get checkups during her pregnancy. They connected during that time, but the affair began shortly after Emily was born. When her husband found out, he left her questioning how faithful she was during their marriage and whether Emily was really his daughter after all. Emily never got to meet him, since she was only a year old when he left her. For these reasons, Michael questioned their relationship.
Regardless of her past, they did get along. They shared a lot of interests; since he was 28 and she was only 25 they were still growing and discovering who they were. Out of many of the things they had in common, what might’ve been the true reason they connected so well was they missed being young and reckless. It was 1985 and they were at the end of their years as free spirited adults.
Jeanette never thought she would be here at this point in her life. She never expected to get married when she did, let alone get divorced and remarried. Already having a daughter and now a second child on the way was a big step for a woman.
Growing up wasn’t as bad as most kids in that era, but it wasn’t easy for her either. Her father died of lung cancer and she was too young to remember him. She had pictures to look at and guess what he sounded like but it was never the same. She did have two older brothers, Dell was the oldest and Scott the middle child of the three. The boys were fairly close in age; however, she was a whole four years younger. Dell was rather tall for his age and looked a lot like their father but Scott was the one calling the shots. Whenever he came up with an idea or a plan to do something, Jeanette and Dell would listen, no questions asked. They always thought that anything he thought was a good idea would be fun no matter what.
One night, he had stolen something from their mother’s room that he assumed was something she didn’t want them to find. He thought it was something worth getting his hands on and trying since mom didn’t want them to have it. The three of them snuck up to the attic in their old house and tried whatever it was. He showed them a bag full of white powder that kind of looked like sugar. He said he saw mom sniffing it and he didn’t understand why but they did it the same way. None of them seemed to know what was going to happen, but they never questioned Scott. After discovering that it was some kind of drug, the boy’s grew fond of the high. Unfortunately, Dell found drugs to be quite mind-blowing and didn’t just stop at this foolish experiment. He died of a drug overdose when he was only seventeen years old.
They never found out if it was an accident or intentional. Their mother tore their life apart from that point on. The death of her oldest favorite child, her boy that looked so much like the man she loved. Tall, wavy brown hair and a distinct, firm chin like that of a man with stature. His death turned their family upside down and their mothers own drug abuse had a lot to do with it as well. Once Scott turned eighteen, he packed up and left home since he couldn’t handle how terrible things had become. Jeanette was only fourteen and the family she crew around was falling apart. She was falling apart. She was alone.
She didn’t care much for her mother and her mother didn’t seem to show her much attention. Her brothers were everything and they were gone. Once she graduated high school, she packed and left home as quickly as she could. Her mother didn’t seem to care, her boys were everything and they left her. She didn’t care for her daughter and when a young girl lacks a strong mother figure in her life, she never knows what it really is to be a mother herself.
She bounced around between odd jobs and roommates, till she met Gregory Myles. They had hit it off rather quickly and after only a year of being together decided to get married. Shortly after, she discovered she was pregnant and Gregory made her the center of his universe. Perhaps it was all the attention that drove them to separate, but once she met Michael she was infatuated by him.
For Michael, it was a different kind of upbringing, but just as tough. He was an adopted, only child. His parents cared for him as any parents should, or at least from what he knew about parents. Being an orphan alone makes it tough on a kid. He loved them just the same, but he shared nothing with them. They both had light colored eyes where Michael’s were dark brown; his hair was dark and curly where they both had naturally light colored, straight hair. He was never able to relate to them, but they loved him as one of their own. He felt like the odd ball and that never really left the back of his mind. He always wished he knew his real parents, but deep down he knew he would never meet them. Maybe they left him or maybe they died, but then again he never cared to find out.
He spent most of his high school years in love w
ith the first girl that ever gave him a chance, Gloria. They were together for most of their high school years and stayed together even after they went to separate colleges. He loved her more than he loved himself. They spent nights walking by the water under the Verrazano Bridge. They would walk home from school together even though he lived a lot closer than she did but he wouldn’t let her go home alone. When they were in college, he began making plans to propose to her, but sometimes, life just turns around on people for better or worse.
One night walking back to her dorm, she was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. When Michael heard the news, he was crushed. He didn’t know how to handle it. He covered his depression with school work until he found a quicker, more sufficient way of dealing with his stress. He buried the better part of his anguish in bad habits. Partying and drugs were his new lifestyle. He barely made it through school; when he finished he moved on to his career. He never cared about settling down or even allowed the idea to enter his head. He just buried it all in his habits. When he met Jeanette and her then husband Gregory, he didn’t think to give her another look. She was just a client that he was helping. He wasn’t even the doctor; he was just the guy putting the blue stuff on her stomach so she can see pictures of her baby in black and white. After a few visits, she began to show interest in him a bit more personally than just her doctor’s assistant.
Once Emily was born, he thought he would never see her again. Shortly after, she began calling the office asking to speak to him. Talking eventually turned into them meeting and soon after it led to them having an affair. As her divorce became finalized, they moved in together with Emily. It was weird for Michael because there was only been one person in his life he felt he would be doing this with and it filled him with doubt and uncertainty. Jeanette was always good at talking him into better moods, helping him stay focused and get comfortable with her. Regardless of what he was going through mentally, he loved Jeanette and was going to make her happy however he could.