by Jesse West
“I do! And nothing is going to make it any better.” She replied. “We might as well do what we can to help move things along. He didn’t hurt me.”
“He pointed a gun at you.” Jimmy wasn’t convinced.
“And you pointed a gun at him, what did he do then?!” Jimmy didn’t have an answer for that. “He’s not going to hurt us.”
“What about mom and Grandpa and Uncle Robert, you see what he did to them?” he proclaimed, trying to show Vicky that she wasn’t thinking straight.
“And have you been listening to what they did to him? How grandpa feels about mom? What they did to Uncle Sal? What he went through with Uncle Bobby?” Vicky was getting her point across and even Sabrina began to believe it. She was making sense.
“Jackie isn’t going to hurt us…..he’s not after us.”
They made sure their conversation was low so Jack wouldn’t hear them but he was occupied. He checked to make sure all the doors and windows were locked on the first floor then he went upstairs. He checked all the windows and he shut all the curtains in the entire house. He wasn’t going to let them see into the house at all. He wasn’t going to let them in and they won’t force their way in if they know he has hostages. He went back downstairs to head back into the dining room. He noticed no one had moved from where they were, and no one had said a word. No shouting or yelling of any kind.
“Alright,” he stepped inside the dining room and began explaining what was going on “as I’m sure you all know, we are going to have some other guests join us. Very shortly, you will see a lot of lights and hear a lot of noise coming from outside. Right now, I am considered a hostage taker. It is in the best interest of the New York State Police to consider me armed and dangerous being that the onsite officer has seen me with a hostage and what he must assume is a live firearm.” He sat down in his chair as they all stared at him. “They will listen to everything I have to say being that I am willing to take hostages and they have already been told that a gun has gone off. They will do whatever it takes to make sure that none of you are harmed. They will ask if I have any demands and they will request for some of you in return for some of whatever it is that I want. They must consider my threat and expect that I am fully capable of shooting any one of you if my demands are not met.” He continued as he held the gun up and pulled back the trigger so they could all hear it “but make no mistake, I mean it when I say that no one is leaving this house until I’ve finished what I have started.”
Why he left
After Emily left, Jack faced life in his home with just his mother and Bobby once again. He had his escape with his father on the weekends but he was still getting back on his feet at the time. Jack didn’t keep much track of him since he was busy discovering himself.
He spent most of his teen years keeping to himself and just going through the motions. Getting passing grades, dealing with other kids, and trying to figure out what he wanted to do in life. He, like all high school kids, were told they could be anything they wanted to be. Well, all Jack wanted to be was out of his house. Shortly after Emily left, that’s exactly what they got.
Bobby and his mother sat him down and told him that they had to move out of the apartment because they were being evicted. This depressed Jack since he’s known nothing but these walls since he was born. They told him they had no choice and nowhere to go so they were going to live in Bobby’s family’s house. Jack’s been there more than once, he was confused by where they would all sleep. They explained to him that there’s a small room on one of the floors that used to be a work room. Bobby and his father were working on transforming it into a small living room like space. They had finished the wall, the floors, and the painting so before they did anything to the room, they were going to let them stay there.
This seemed unreasonable for Jack, sharing a room with his mother and her boyfriend, but he had no choice. He had nowhere to go. They moved in into the house with Bobby’s parents, his brother Sal, Sue and her 3 kids. Everyone was in the house at this point since Sue was still going through the motions of her divorce and Sal never really left home. Sue and her kids had Bobby’s old room and Jack shared the new front room with his parents. They slept on a pull out couch while Jack was forced to sleep on a loveseat. Not even a full couch. He was over 5 feet which is pretty tall for his age and he had to curl up every night and sleep on a not even 4 foot wide loveseat couch. Jack’s back was never the same and he never got any sleep for the 3 years he was there for.
Through those years, Jack dealt with a lot. Bobby’s family was never really nice to him but some of them began showing more acceptance to him being around. Sabrina was getting older and Jack was always playing with her. He didn’t mind playing with her since in his eyes she was the best part of this whole family.
Eventually, the worst thing possible for Jack happened. Bobby proposed to Jeanette. They were going to get married and he would have to call him dad permanently. This scared Jack a bit and he expressed it to both his father and his sister. Emily didn’t seem to care. They deserved each other in her mind. Mike was more confused about it than anything but he never told Jack why. He just laughed it off and never said a word about it again.
Emily had given birth to a baby girl, Rachel Marie. Jack loved his niece and was around as much as he could be, watching her grow. He wasn’t the best uncle at the time because he himself was still growing. But he loved her as much as he could.
When Jack was about to turn 18, he had to come to a number of conclusion. He was graduating high school with just passing grades and he had no idea what he wanted to do. He thought about joining the military but he was uncertain if that was good for him. He knew he wanted to do something to help people. He had spent so many years helpless, watching his shitty life pass him by. What could he do that would make him feel good about himself?
This idea in general took Jack by surprise. Why would he want to help people? Nobody ever helped him. He was dealt a bad hand in life and no one was there to teach him how to deal. He’s been through so much mentally that perhaps his brain is no good to help others. He knew part of him was still alive though. Just this thought to help others proved to him that he wasn’t going off the deep end. Most people that get dealt a bad hand in life use it as a crutch to why they turned out the way they did. Drug habits, time spent in juvenile detention, stealing, always on the streets, and never any ambition to make themselves better. That’s not where Jack was, regardless of the shit he grew up around. Watching his mother sleep with strangers, catching them doing drugs, dealing with them being drunk, and all Jack wanted to do was help people. He learned what bad choices make out of a person and he saw that through his life. He swore he would never want to do these things that would affect him or those around him the way it’s affected his life.
Then it hit him, the one person that always stuck out in his head, was Sergeant Brown. The officer that helped him when he was in foster care after the accident. That’s it! Jack was going to get on the road to becoming a cop.
A member of the NYPD was everything Jack thought was right in his mind. Nothing was changing his decision. His sister was proud of him, his father as proud of him, his mother and Bobby were both proud of him. He knew he was making the right steps towards bettering his life. Though those steps come with a cost.
By the time Jack was finished with school, he was finally breaking into his self-worth where he deemed it necessary to stick up for himself, with everyone.
One night at dinner, Jack was upset about how he was having a rough day with finals and not being able to sleep. Sleeping on a loveseat for years takes its toll on anyone. Most of those at the dinner table didn’t agree with him.
“What’s wrong, baby?” his mother asked him.
“I’m just tired, mom. School is leaving me with uncontrollable headaches and I can never seem to get any sleep.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she asked, sounding confused.
“I don’t know.” Was his reply, bu
t what he was thinking “why do you think, I sleep on a fucking chair you moron.”
“Oh shut up!” Pauline chimed in “You’re young and strong, you can handle a little less sleep.”
“What does that even mean?” Jack spoke out in frustration. It was the first time anyone had ever heard that from Jack. He was never big for confrontation. He never got into fights with bullies at school and whenever the family would pick on him, he’d just laugh it off. But this time, Jack was upset.
“Oh!” Bobby shouted “Watch how you talk to my mother, alright?” he sounded mad.
Jack just lowered his head and shook it in disproval.
“You got something to say?” Bobby asked.
“Not to you.” He replied
“How would you like it if I smacked it out of your mouth then?” Bobby was getting angry.
“Bobby, stop it.” Pauline said aloud “The boy is obviously upset. Just leave him alone.” She was the one to calm him down, while Jack’s mother just kept her attention on her food.
It didn’t stop there.
One day, Jimmy and Jack were moving furniture in the house. They were walking up the stairs with a couch, Jack was pushing it up from the bottom and Jimmy was pulling it up. Jimmy’s hand slipped and couch dropped on the steps. It shifted the weight of the couch and forced Jack back into wall, nearly dislocating his shoulder.
“OW! FUCK!” Jack shouted in pain.
“Oh, damn, Jackie, I’m so sorry man!” Jimmy was shouting from the top of the steps. “You ok man?”
“Yeah, man. You just gotta be careful next time. Let me know when you need to redo you’re grip.” He told him.
Bobby came out in the hallway after hearing Jack scream.
“Oh! Who’s cursing like that?” He yelled out.
“It was me. I nearly broke my shoulder.” Jack replied.
“Well, watch your mouth next time. There’s no reason to curse in the house like that.”
“Sorry. I was in pain. I wasn’t thinking about my language.” Jack snapped back.
“Well I’m telling you to think about it next time and don’t talk back to me.”
“Nobody’s talking back to you. I’m defending myself. Like no one else does in this damn house.”
“Hey! What did I just say?!” Bobby’s voice began to get louder.
“What? What did I do now?” Jack was getting pissed at this exchange as well.
“I just told you not to talk like that. You’re not listening and you’re talking back. You’re 17, I don’t think I need to explain this to you.”
“Well, obviously you feel the need to being that all I’ve said is that I did nothing wrong except get a couch dropped on my shoulder. Oh but you don’t care about my shoulder. You care about my language and the precise fucking couch.”
“HEY! I just said do not talk like that in this house!” Bobby was yelling at this point.
“You don’t like it! Fine! Move the damn couch yourself!” Jack walked back down the stairs leaving the couch lingering in the middle. He walked out the door to the sounds of Bobby screaming behind him. Nobody saw him for an hour then he came back to his mother sitting on the porch. They got into an argument over him storming off like that.
This was the first but certainly not the last time Jack walked out of the house on Bobby. The next year was filled with arguments and fighting between Jack, Bobby, and his mother. He was doing what he wished he had always done, stick up for himself. No one defended him and he felt like everyone was against him. He was the odd man out in anything he did in their eyes. A full year of dealing with living in the house, sleeping on that loveseat, dealing with that family, and all he wanted to do was get his own life together. He had plans and he couldn’t wait to get away from all of them. Little did he know, that day would come sooner than he expected.
Jack was asleep when he was awoken by Bobby who was bombarding him with questions.
“Jackie, wake up! What were you doing last night after dinner?”
“What?” Jack’s eyes were barely opened.
“Last night, after dinner, what did you do?” he asked again.
“Nothing. I read a little of my book then I came in and went to bed.” He replied.
“So, you didn’t go into my parent’s room at all?” Bobby asked.
“What?” Jack was confused. “No. I never go in there.”
“You sure?” Bobby didn’t believe him.
“I swear.” Jack said confidently.
Bobby stood up and left the room. Jack rolled back over and attempted to go back to sleep for a bit longer but he was once again woken up. This time by his mother.
“Jack we need you to come inside.”
“What for?” he asked.
“Just come inside.” His mother told him.
Jack stood up from his loveseat rather unwillingly despite how uncomfortable it was, he didn’t want to get out of bed so early on a Sunday. He walked into the upstairs dining room to Pauline, Gene, and Bobby staring at him.
“What’s going on?” he asked them.
“Listen buddy,” Bobby said “We won’t be mad at you. Just tell us the truth and we’ll understand.”
Jack stood there confused “What are you talking about?”
“We know you’re young and we know you make mistakes.” His mother added on “Just tell us what you did.”
“Ummm, what did I do?” Jack didn’t understand what was going on.
“Jackie,” Pauline called him angrily, she did not seem happy, “There’s money missing from my bedroom. Did you take it?”
“No,” Jack said without hesitation.
“There’s no reason to lie to us, Jackie,” Bobby said calmly, “Just tell us you did it, all will be forgotten, and you’ll figure out a way to give the money back.”
“But I didn’t take any money.” Jack stood there, bewildered to what was being said to him.
“Jackie, we know it was you,” his mom said.
“How do you know it was me when I know it wasn’t me?” Jack replied sarcastically, he began building an attitude due to the accusations being placed on him at this moment.
“You need to stop talking back to us and apologize for what you did,” Bobby said, his voice began to sound aggravated.
“I’m not talking back, I’m answering questions and you guys aren’t believing me!” Jack began to sound upset and his low tone voice turned into a mellowed shout.
“Who else would’ve done it, Jackie?” Pauline said, she sound angry as well. She was the only one that it was called for being that she was the one missing money.
This whole time, Gene sat in one of the chairs with his hands folded, not saying a word about any of it.
“I don’t know but it wasn’t me.” Jack replied with confidence.
“Well, if you’re gonna lie to us then you can be punished and my mother is missing money that you are going to give back to her.” Bobby declared to him.
“What?! That’s not fair! Why don’t you believe me!?” Jack was upset, mad, confused, tons of emotions for being blamed for something he didn’t do.
“That’s the price you pay for lying.” Bobby shrugged his shoulders.
“But I’m not lying! Mom, why doesn’t anyone believe me?!” Jack looked to his mother for security, for someone to defend him.
“Jackie, you’re young. You make mistakes. Just apologize and all will be forgotten once Grandma gets her money back,” was all she had to say.
“Seriously,” Jack was infuriated, “so I don’t take money and I’m punished and have to pay money back that I didn’t take and apologize.”
“Hey! Do not yell at your mother!” Bobby told him.
“This is fucking ridiculous!” Jack stormed out of the room.
“DO NOT USE THAT LANGUAGE IN MY MOTHERS HOUSE!” Bobby got really mad at this point.
“Your mother! She has no relation to me just as you are not my father!” He turned and shouted back at him. “She is not my grandmother, non
e of these people like or care about me, and that’s why I’m getting blamed for this! Because I’m not part of this family! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!” Jack was done.
He packed his stuff amongst all the yelling and shouting. The kids had woken up to all the noise and were just standing there. Jack saw Sabrina before he left.
“Hey, Sisi.” He said to her softly, wiping tears from his own eyes.
“Where ya goin, Cousin Jackie?” Sabrina asked in her cute little voice.
“I’m going away, kiddo. I don’t know if you’ll ever see me again.” His tone of voice was very upset, she was the only one he would miss.
“Why?” Sabrina was confused.
“I’m sorry, kiddo. It’s a lot to explain and you’re too young to understand. But I will miss you. A lot” he couldn’t hold back how much he would truly miss her.
“I’ll miss you too!” Sabrina sprung and wrapped her arms around him. She began to cry on his shoulders, so did Jack. The last moment he spent in that house, he spent it in her arms.
After their moment, Jack picked up his bags and walked out of the house. He looked back and not a single person was trying to stop him at that point. Not even his mother. Unbelievable.
“My mother is picking these complete strangers over me.” He wanted to be upset at this thought but it didn’t surprise him. After spending years with these people and having no one stick up for him, he didn’t care.
“You can have her.”
All the yelling had made everyone mad but the only one thinking clearly was Jack. He knew what he was doing and he had no regret. He turned his back and left that house with the hopes of never coming back.
The Law over the Latter
With the hopes of graduating and starting his road to becoming a police officer, Jack went to stay with his father for the time being. Leaving that house along with that family had taken so much weight off of Jack’s shoulders. He felt alive and less depressed. He wasn’t concerned about anything except getting out of school and getting into the academy.