In Love with a Shadow

by Carmen Fox

  The darkness was Max’s Darkness, and if I let him, he’d take me to some other place, where no one threatened us and death didn’t linger. Away from the kid.

  “No.” I closed my fist around the cold nothingness before I caught his arm. “I can’t leave. The boy’s all alone.”

  “We must not interfere in the natural order.” Max’s voice echoed from all around me.

  “The natural order is already out of whack. The only thing left is mercy. If the boy can be saved...”

  “He can’t.”

  My heart bumped against my chest like a boxer’s fist spoiling for a fight. “Then you must kill the boy. Take his soul. Please, Max.”

  “No. We must find my friends.”

  “We will, after. Come on. Just a quick trip to the Glory and back.”

  His sigh reverberated across my neck. “When I kill, I send the souls into the Eternal Night. I cannot enter your Twilight.”

  “I didn’t know that.” So much for that plan. “Fine. Take me back. I’ll do it.”

  I was the Reaper’s daughter. How hard could it be?

  He gripped my waist. “Dabria. Listen. The Council’s army marches soon. Let us find your father. The quicker we find him, the faster people will die again.”

  “First, the boy.”

  “Why is this child so important?”

  I glanced into the nothingness where my feet should’ve been. “In those last moments before death, the soul exists in a state of agony as it rips free from its body. Like the birth of a child, it’s only meant to last a fraction of time. Death brings the ultimate relief.”

  “But the child isn’t dead.”

  “No. Exactly.” My voice broke. “He’s in so much pain right now. Children are meant to move into the Glory automatically, but I think he’s seen too much evil in his life to leave his body without help. If I don’t get to him soon, his soul will be lost. Twilight goo, remember?”

  “If I let you do this, do you promise to be quick?”

  “Yes.”

  Max let go of my body. “Hang on. Don’t move, no matter what happens.”

  He faded, and I was alone.

  Muffled screams blasted across my head and tapered quickly, leaving an eerie silence that—

  Not a silence. In the distance, a voice gave a wretched sob.

  “Hello?” I whispered. “Max?”

  The sad moan stopped.

  Was I in danger, or did the sound belong to someone in distress?

  “Hello?” I whispered again, louder this time, and strained my neck to catch a glimpse of the source.

  Shuffling footfalls approached—hesitantly then faster. A cry flared around my ears like an air-raid siren, bringing a cold so deep, the hairs on my arms stiffened. I had to stop it. Stop the noise.

  My hands, my one possible shield for my ears, refused to move. My body was frozen. Only my heart still pounded.

  The pain pushed against my eardrums...

  The darkness subsided, extinguishing the sound. Light returned to me, a glaring white that gradually dulled into colors.

  “What happened?” Max tipped my chin up toward him. “I forbidded you to move.”

  “I didn’t move. Much.” My jaw remained stiff and inflexible, still suffering from the cold, but at last my ears popped back to normal. “There was someone there. In the Darkness. Hell, that was cold.”

  He placed two fingers against my neck. “Your pulse is solid. Good. You will be fine.”

  My pulse? I touched the same spot. It was giving a few tentative beats, but on the bright side, I could move again.

  “What happened, Max? Why did you leave?”

  “I took the men to the Eternal Night.” He underlined his words by sliding his finger across his throat. “Now you can take the boy to the Glory.”

  His words didn’t make my blood thaw any faster. Despite my earlier confidence, I had no idea how to reap. Dad had explained the theory, sure, but I’d never actually tried it.

  “Are you okay?” Max adopted a soft tone. Almost compassionate.

  Was he capable of compassion?

  “What is wrong?” he asked.

  “Do Shadow Walkers have emotions?”

  His expression shuttered, and he dropped his arms. “Why do you insult me? I’m helping you, no? We help each other.”

  Guess that meant they did have feelings, and of course I had nothing better to do than hurt his. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I know nothing of your kind, only what my dad told me, and that wasn’t much. He doesn’t volunteer information.”

  Max stepped aside and turned me to face the moaning form of the kid on the ground. “But you can reap?”

  “I have no choice but to try, right?” I hurried toward the boy.

  Max murmured something in a language I didn’t understand.

  The boy’s gaze fixed on me, his breathing shallow. Blood had soaked into his t-shirt and the ground. He was beyond saving.

  “Hang on,” I whispered to him. “I’ll help you.”

  At least, I’d do my best.

  His haunted face was free from tears, but the pain shone in his eyes, as well as—maybe—a flicker of hope.

  I positioned myself according to my dad’s instructions, with my hand hovering about an inch from his trembling chest. The smell of death clung to him, deep under a layer of earth and tar. I kept my eyes closed, both to heighten my senses and to not be distracted by the kid’s pleading gaze. The way Dad had explained it, the souls needed to be chased out, not coaxed, much like retrieving a hamster that had gotten lost under the cabinets.

  I dove into the child’s personality, down the thin threads that would never grow strong now, deep into his rich essence. What potential flowed through his fibers? What experiences? A source of warmth pulsed in the distance. It was this kernel of his soul I needed to catch.

  My real hand hung several inches above his body, but in my Reaper vision, it curled under his sparkling core. Immediately, the gooey warmth of his essence contracted around my fingers.

  I took a deep breath, tightened my hold, and dissipated into the Twilight, the viscous mass still clinging to my grip.

  So far, so yucky.

  Max might think my closed eyes made my work all about feeling and guesswork, but here, my vision was twenty-twenty. The fog whirled around me, picking and nipping at my hand. Did the Lost Ones know the boy was headed for the Glory? Maybe they retained some form of self after all, the ugly part that made them feel jealousy.

  My journey to Africa still weighed on my bones. Gritting my teeth, I pushed through the Twilight. This time, I had no path to guide me, only vague memories of trips with my dad.

  Step one was leaving this plane, on which the Earth resided, but there were no stairs, escalators, or traffic signs to show me the way. Below me, the plains of Africa stretched to the ocean; then the entire continent faded.

  The weird mass in my hand wiggled, not unlike the neon-colored toy slime with which children loved to play. As I tightened my fist around it, the warmth intensified.

  Was I doing this wrong? Dad had explained the process of reaping, and occasionally taken me on a day out to the Glory’s gates, but I’d never watched him take a soul. Of course not. He’d never had reason to train me in a job he performed well enough by himself.

  The soul’s heat burned my palm and ate into my flesh. How long could I withstand the pain? I had to find the Glory soon or—

  I snapped my hand up and let go. Crap, that hurt.

  The glowing core fell through the Twilight and disappeared.

  I shook out my arm and blew against my sore fingers. What had I done? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Souls were precious, deserving, not burger wrappers you just dropped. And this boy... His eyes had shone with trust. He’d thought I’d help him.

  I got onto my knees and felt around for the heat, but there was only nothingness. I stretched my back, extended my arms methodically, reached farther and farther. Where had he gone?

  My movements
slowed. Stilled. Then I sat up, my throat dry and tight.

  My effort to save the boy from torment had failed. Now he was lost because of me. It hadn’t been confidence or despair that had made me attempt this, but pure arrogance. By Hades. What in the world had made me think I could take him into the Glory? I was a fake psychic hired by the most boring people in the world, not the Grim freaking Reaper. Because of my hubris, the kid would roam the Twilight until he too became one with the fog.

  I opened my eyes. “Damn it!”

  The kid’s dead stare punched me in the guts, but tension no longer distorted his face. He almost looked at peace. Except I knew he wasn’t. He was so young. He should be alive, but failing that, he should be tucked away safe and warm inside the Glory.

  “I messed up.” My voice wobbled. “I thought I could do what my dad does, help people, but it turns out I’m every bit the disappointment I feared I was.”

  “What are you talking about?” Max’s shadow fell onto the sandy ground by my side and moved up to cover the boy’s shirt.

  I closed the kid’s eyes, unable to bear his empty gaze any longer. “I lost the boy. I got his soul and everything, but I dropped it.”

  “He’s right here.”

  I twisted around. A see-through outline of the boy waved at me. How was that possible? I lurched upright and toward him, and finally threw my arms around his shape. He wasn’t solid, and I ended up slapping myself.

  “I am so sorry.” I kneeled, bringing my eyes level with his. “I will make this right. You’ll be okay. Promise.”

  The boy nodded.

  “Can you understand me?”

  Again, he nodded.

  “Maybe, in death, language becomes universal.” I glanced at Max for his opinion.

  “Perhaps. But it would be useful if he could speak.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and shifted his weight. “He might have insight into where the Grim Reaper and my Shadow Walkers are.”

  “I know the Grim Reaper.” The boy’s lips didn’t move, yet I was sure the words were his.

  How weird he should ‘speak’ in flawless English, without a hint of an accent. Death truly was an equalizer.

  “How do you know the Grim Reaper?” Once more, I reached for his shoulder, and yet again, my hands went right through him.

  Nothing about his ghost form reminded me of the corpse on the ground. He was a wisp of air, a misty cloud with a face.

  He giggled. “That tickles.”

  Still cute, though. I gradually moved around him, forcing his gaze to follow me, because I didn’t want him to be reminded of his once-solid body. “What’s your name?”

  “Adisa.”

  “That’s a lovely name. Do you know why the men hurt you?”

  He hid his hands behind his back and stared at his shuffling feet. “They killed a woman.”

  “Did you see them do it?”

  “Momma said not to go out, but I did. I saw them. The men shouted at me, and I ran away real fast.” His chest moved, as if he’d taken a breath he no longer needed. “Then, I couldn’t remember how to get home. Momma’s going to be so angry.”

  Why hadn’t I known the men would stick around after we hid? They’d spotted us from afar, and the lack of hiding spaces gave them every incentive to search the area. If I’d gripped Adisa’s arm tighter, he might still be alive.

  “Your momma’s going to be angry at the men, but not at you, Adisa. She loves you.” Sunlight irritated my eyes, and I blinked a few times. “Now, how do you know the Grim Reaper? Have you met him?”

  “I don’t think so, but I can feel him. He can take me home. I know it.”

  Max kneeled beside me. The smile on his face was sweeter than I’d thought him capable of. “Can you take us to him?”

  The kid bit his lip, which was no longer cracked as it had been in life. “I think so. But then I must go home.”

  Did he think he was still alive, or was the home he referred to the Glory?

  “That would help us a lot.” I buried my hand in my shirt to resist the temptation to touch him again.

  Max and I rose.

  “Are you good?” His voice showed none of the condescension he’d levied at me before we left.

  “Yes. But I need to know what really happened to my dad and your friends.”

  He placed his hand on my shoulder, which, despite his cold aura, produced a warm knot inside my chest. “We will, Dabria. I promise.”

  This tender version of him slayed me. For a second, I believed him, not because of his conviction, but simply because I wanted to.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “This way.” Adisa pointed back toward the rock, where we’d been hiding only twenty minutes ago.

  He marched toward the same spot then levitated up and dissipated—no, wafted through the thick branches belonging to a wall of bushes. Great. As if the heat wasn’t torture enough, now I was expected to exercise. Why hadn’t I thought to bring water?

  Once I’d dried my sweaty hands on my jeans, I climbed up after Adisa, testing the strength of the rock with my feet before every move.

  A sharp edge cut into my fingers. I lost my footing and windmilled one arm for support.

  Max’s hand on my ass returned my balance to me.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  Was this a man helping a mere woman, or a man helping his partner? Shame Max was so unreadable.

  Two more awkward maneuvers, and I’d reached the spot. Behind the bushes’ sparse foliage, cut into the side of the rock, lay a black cave.

  I twisted my head down and back to catch Max’s gaze. “I’m going to dissipate in. Will you be okay following?”

  “Go ahead.” He shrugged, but something about his face set off my warning bells.

  If he thought he could freak me out, he was mistaken.

  Once I’d shed my physical shape, I flowed into the Twilight, past the branches and toward the darkness.

  I struck a wall and bounced off.

  Crap. After examining the structure, I headed back in. Once more, a solid boundary stopped me.

  I focalized back into my precarious stance, glued to the rock face, with one foot on a rocky projection and the other two feet away. “Okay. Spill, Max. Why can’t I get in?”

  Max moved up behind me, his body pressed close to mine. His deep, even breaths warmed my neck.

  If the situation had been different, this would’ve qualified as the single most erotic moment of my life.

  I tilted my head to catch the red glow in his eyes. “Go on.”

  “You can only enter in your physical form.” He shifted his arm toward my head, a sharp blade in his hand. “Careful.”

  Keeping me tucked between the rock face and his body, he hacked at the branches with his large switchblade. What seemed like a David and Goliath endeavor turned into a masterclass of skill. He aimed his knife with precision, sawed where needed, and slashed at the rest until he’d opened a hole in the bushes large enough to let him pass.

  “Before I climb in, what exactly am I getting myself into?” I peered at the cave.

  The sparse light coming in from the outside illuminated a dirty rock floor bounded by ragged walls, but beyond the entrance lay an unknown void.

  “I think it is the Darkness,” he said.

  I shot him my duh look. “I can see it’s dark.”

  “No. The Darkness. You travel through fog, and I walk through the Darkness. This is the Darkness.”

  “Oh. The place you go to get to the Eternal Night?”

  “Yes. I think it is. I’m not sure. I’m only a man, not a woman.”

  I gave him my evilest frown.

  He grinned. “Women know everything, yes?”

  “If we weren’t clinging to a rock face fifteen feet above the ground, I’d smack the back of your head.”

  “You will postpone punishment until after?”

  “Yes. Postpone, but not forget.”

  “I look forward to punishment.” His flirtatious tone sent trembl
es through my limbs.

  What a dangerous place for him to distract me.

  “Anyway. I’m going in. A hand, please?”

  As requested, he pushed me up toward the cave by my butt. Maybe the most practical way to aid me, or maybe he’d grabbed my booty just because he wanted to.

  I slithered into the narrow opening with the grace of a tortoise that had been turned on its back and scooted around to face the entrance.

  “Coming?” I gave him a cocky grin.

  “Take this.” He handed me his knife, which I tucked into the back pocket of my jeans, and pulled himself up.

  I clawed his coat with both hands and dragged him into the cave. After a final yank, he landed with his upper body on the ground.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  I kept crawling in reverse to make room for the rest of his body, and eventually rolled down a gentle slope into a cavern big enough to stand in. Actually, three of me could have stood in here without touching the ceiling. I rubbed warmth into my arms. This wasn’t a welcoming place. How could Max stand coming here?

  I brushed the dirt off my pants and top without peering too closely into the big blob of black that stretched ahead of us. Shuffling sounds and faint moans lay in that direction, and I had no desire to find out to whom—or what—they belonged.

  Max joined me. His long coat wasn’t even dusty. How had he squeezed along the tight passage without getting dirty?

  I jerked my chin toward the pitch-black space ahead of us. “I thought you dissipated into the Darkness, like I do into the Twilight.”

  “I do. But realms are also physical places with a real entrance. Only Shadow Walkers dissipate into the Darkness. Everyone else must walk through the real entrance.”

  “Or hitch a ride with you.” As I’d done earlier.

  “Or ride with me, yes.”

  A drawn-out moan in the distance made my hairs stand on end.

  “What now?” My squeaky words laid bare my nerves.

  Max placed an arm over my shoulder. The gesture wasn’t necessarily a romantic one, but it was a far cry from the threats and disdain he’d shown me yesterday.

  Had I only known him a day? Here I was, trusting him to have my back. I wasn’t even sure if his motives were true. What if this was a ploy to send me into the Eternal Night?