Pendulum

by Ciara Knight

  I pressed my lips to his Neumarian tattoo, a symbol of his family and heritage. My touch ignited threads of silver from the six dagger points, organized in a sphere. The lines followed the brush of my fingertips along his muscular chest.

  He cupped my face. “Glad you like what you see. I know I do.” A low growl rumbled from his throat. “Tonight, I plan to enjoy every second we’re together. Just touching your soft skin is enough to bring me to my knees.”

  I closed my eyes and savored the feel of his touch, starting at my neck and, light as a feather, tracing my spine to its base. For a second, I thought I’d crumpled to the floor as he nuzzled my neck. “The smell of your hair, the taste of your lips. If I live to a hundred, I’ll never get enough of you,” he murmured, his mouth grazing my jaw. “I love everything about you, from your silver hair and eyes and tender heart to your brilliant mind and amazing body. I love you, Semara and I want to marry you.”

  “What?” I gasped.

  He held me at arm’s length. “I know you’re young, but we’ve already lived a lifetime. Maybe not today or tomorrow, or even next month, but when we end this war, I want us to be forever.” His gift surged from him and into me, wrapping around my soul and filling it with his life, love, and heart.

  “I love you, too,” I whispered, sending my gift of heat into him.

  “I’ll ask your father after we return from rescuing Thornton and my uncle—”

  A jolt of anger intruded and ruined my perfect moment. “You don’t need his permission. If anyone, you should ask Bendar.”

  “I understand he’s said hurtful things, Semara, but so did I when we first met. I was bitter and frightened because for the first time in years someone other than Raeth touched my heart. Sometimes when people lose too much, they shut down. I believe your father is either protecting you or too scared to let you in. He lost you once and is terrified he’ll lose you again. I know how he feels. It wasn’t until Old Chicago that I accepted how I felt and stopped thinking about running away from you.”

  I stepped back from him, but he grasped my arms. “The thought of losing you nearly cripples me. I keep going by reminding myself we are stronger together than apart. I’d die for you, Semara, and I know you’d do the same for Raeth or me. Even that scares me.”

  “If loving me scares you so much, why do you want to marry me?”

  “Because not having you with me would kill me as surely as a blaster hit, only slowly, torturously, until nothing was left.”

  I swallowed hard and searched for the right words. He spoke of marriage and family, two things that frightened me more than death. “I love you, but this other life you speak of, I don’t know or understand it. Marriage…family…it’s a lie—”

  “That’s not true. It’s the reason I can continue on each day. We’ll have what I knew as a child, a loving home, family, friends, and a life full of hope and joy.” As he kissed each of my knuckles, his words cracked the ice forming around my heart.

  Images of a life that had never existed flashed through my mind. Fear paralyzed me. Lasting love, marriage, all of it was nothing more than a dream.

  As his anticipation of my acceptance grew, his pupils dilated, swallowing the chocolate of his irises. How could I tell him? It would shatter his dream of a future.

  “When this war is over, ask me again,” I said, knowing the words gave him much needed hope, even if I didn’t believe the war would ever end. I’d learned there was no such thing as living happy forever, but the happiness I saw in his smile told me I’d made the right choice. Clasping his face, I pulled him to me. “Let’s kiss to seal the promise.”

  He nibbled and nipped my bottom lip, then swept me up into his arms, carried me to the bed, and lowered me gently onto the mattress.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I stood off to the side as our team of men and woman assembled. Unlike the queen’s troops, these soldiers wore a variety of clothing. The only commonality was their ENR patch, which wasn’t located in the same place on any two people.

  As they hustled to their stations, a woman paused, bent, and hugged a small child. Tears rolled down the little boy’s cheeks. “I don’t want you to go, Mama. Please stay.”

  “I can’t. If we don’t save Fallon, we’ll be in hiding forever. He needs us.” She kissed him on his head and rubbed his back, her dark skin a contrast against his white T-shirt. “Fallon was once a great warrior, and we’re alive because of him. He’s responsible for saving many of us from death. And now that he’s been captured, he deserves our help.” She kissed his forehead again. “Be brave, my dear boy.” Standing, she shuffled him to a nearby old lady, who nodded.

  “Mama, wait.” The child raced to his mother and gave her a big hug. “I forgot to hug Daddy and he didn’t come home. Now, you have to come home.”

  A knot lodged in my throat. Ryder rubbed my shoulders for comfort.

  “Let’s go,” I whispered, struggling to control the emotion that threatened to spill out of me. “We need to get to the war room.”

  Marching by the mother and son, I focused on the mission ahead. Spending last night with Ryder was a wondrous, loving escape. Today, I faced reality.

  “Good morning.” I nodded to Bendar, then to Penton and Raeth, all seated around the large table.

  Jumping down from his chair, Bendar pulled out mine then, grinning, hopped back up on his. “Morning. Look refreshed. Warm bed and food good?”

  “Yes. There’s nothing like a good night’s sleep.” At Raeth’s snort, I shot her a scowl. When I mouthed Penton, she licked her lips and nodded. We both knew how Ryder would handle, or not handle, discovering Penton had spent last night with his baby sister.

  Dred entered behind us and squished into the chair by my side. “Mornin’, pretty face.”

  “Morning,” I returned and grasped his forearm in a Neumarian greeting, my fingers not even wrapping around half his forearm.

  Harrison cleared his throat and directed our attention to the screens. With deft movements, he rotated the halo objects on the table and revealed images of old buildings, trains, waterways, and people. “These are from our archives. They depict the city known as London prior to the Great War. That’s where Fallon’s located.”

  He highlighted one of the images. “This is the waterway. It runs from the channel to the city. During the war, the city barricaded the waterway after a sneak attack took out two thirds of it. Because they think it’s impenetrable, we’ll use it then follow the underground around to here.” Another picture was highlighted, showing a bridge over a river, with a train station to the west of it. “We exit here. We’ll be exposed for the short distance between the river and the Tower. Penton, that’s where your chemicals will be used to knock out the men.”

  He eyed Ryder for a second. I knew his former hot-headed ways had preceded him. “That means stealth-approach, people. Nothing heroic. If there’s even a hint we’re there, the mission fails.”

  Over the next thirty minutes, we examined our route into the prison, releasing Fallon, and getting out.

  “Where’s Thornton’s cell,” I asked, my fury barely contained.

  Harrison shook his head. “He’s not our mission. If he’s in Fallon’s wing, we’ll rescue him. But Fallon is our object. Between his great gifts and information, if he broke—”

  Ryder bolted out of his seat, hands fisted at his sides. “Won’t happen. My uncle would never betray his people.”

  “He might not want to, but they have devices to extract information. Neumarians forced to use their gifts on their own kind. Trust me,” Harrison looked down at his hands for a moment, “anyone can be broken.”

  Ryder’s jaw tensed. Frowning, he collapsed back onto his chair.

  Leaning over, I whispered, “Harrison’s right.” I’d witnessed the queen’s methods and knew everyone had a breaking point. I glanced at Harrison. Something gnawed at me, the way he’d said the queen could break people. Was he speaking of himself?

  “The SB-06 can ma
neuver through the river without notice. The channel is trickier. We’ll proceed at minimal speed through the mine field.”

  Dred twisted his chair, a loud squeak drawing everyone’s attention. “Why not take the route from the docks to where ye transferred boats when ye brought me here?”

  “The queen’s learned how Raeth, Ryder, and Semara escaped. This is our only option. I won’t lie. Our chances of even reaching the Tower are slim. But we’ve faced more difficult missions. The key to success is stealth and our maps of the mines being correct.”

  One of the men, dressed in an ENR uniform, cleared his throat. “Why not use sonar—”

  Harrison’s icy, gray gaze snapped to him. “They’d hear us in a second and we’d be blown out of the water.”

  Mapping? My mind reeled with scenarios of one misplaced dot on a halo pad. “We can use the viewfinder. One of my jobs while aboard the Freedom was to locate the mines and direct the captain around them.”

  Ryder leaned over my shoulder. “I think you just found your purpose.”

  “How were you able to locate the mines in enough time to alter the ship’s direction?” Harrison asked in a low and thoughtful voice.

  “I utilized a combination of my gift and my skills with the viewfinder.”

  “Won’t there be a risk of her blowing up a mine?” asked the woman I’d seen earlier kissing her son goodbye.

  “No. I’m not altering the metal, only detecting it. I’ve mastered the ability to split my power between altering and detecting. Once I detect it, I direct the viewfinder and give coordinates, then Raeth Arteres recalculates and submits new coordinates to the captain.”

  Harrison scrubbed his chin and looked at me. “Semara and Raeth will work together, while someone keeps track on the halo map.

  “I’ll do that,” the woman volunteered. “That way I’ll be standing by if she needs redirection.”

  “Very good, Lieutenant Briggs.” Harrison nodded. “Once we cross the channel, Penton will remain outside the Tower with Dred. Bendar and I will enter the Tower and rescue Fallon.”

  “No way. We’ll be needed,” Ryder protested.

  I pushed my chair back. “I’m going, too. Fallon can be Bendar’s and your target. Ryder and I will focus on rescuing Thornton, if it’s possible.” For Raeth and Ryder’s sake, I wanted Fallon freed, but I wasn’t going to ignore a comrade in trouble.

  “What makes Thornton so important you’d risk your life,” Harrison growled.

  “When he helped us escape, I gave my word he could come with us. My repayment for his help won’t be to abandon him in that hellhole.”

  Harrison stared at me. I felt a ruffling through my brain, but didn’t object. Then suddenly, I was reliving my memories aboard the Freedom, everything from Thornton to Gordon’s assistance.

  Scowling, Harrison eased from my brain. “Change of plans. The four of us will enter the Tower. We free Fallon, while Bendar checks the system for Thornton.” He focused a penetrating frigid stare on Ryder and me. “You two will guard the hall while we rescue Fallon.” Harrison’s mouth set in a firm line.

  I searched Bendar’s eyes and knew he’d never betray me. Then I looked at Harrison. “Thank you for adding Thornton to your plan.”

  If I hadn’t been looking, I would have missed Harrison’s gaze softening. But a split second later, it reverted to his usual impersonal demeanor. “It wasn’t a suggestion. It was a command. You’ll follow orders or be left behind. Dismissed.”

  As the room erupted in hushed conversations, Lieutenant Briggs approached me. “I’ll be on you every step of the way. I’m not letting you get us killed. They say you’re part of the Triune and the daughter of the General but talk don’t mean much to me. The last self-proclaimed expert got my husband killed.” Her gaze hardened. “General Harrison’s earned my trust. You haven’t.”

  Pushing my chair back from the table, I stood and looked at her as if I were at the queen’s side in court. “Once we’ve returned to the Arc, then we’ll talk.”

  Her eyebrows arched then, with a curt nod, she exited the room.

  Sighing, I watched people file out and wondered if I’d ever be accepted by the ENR troops. Or anyone, for that matter. Maybe, but first I had to keep us from being blown out of the water. And that meant creeping along the bottom of the ocean again. If this war ever ended, I planned to find a spot on dry land, preferably in the mountains, where I could admire the water from a distance.

  Turning from the door, I saw Ryder clasp Dred’s forearm. “Good to be working with you again.”

  “Seems a fella’s gotta almost die to get ye respect,” Dred snickered. “Remember when ye thought I be a traitor?”

  “If not for you, we’d be dead twice over. I’ve never seen a man fight with such bravery. Thank you for getting us away from Malvek and for your stand on the beach. You’re a good man, Dred. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.”

  “We all have sacrificed for freedom.” Dred nodded and released Ryder, his head held a little higher as he walked out the door.

  Ryder didn’t give his respect or thanks easily. From personal experience, I knew how much power a few of his words contained.

  “Let’s get on board.” Penton held his hand out to Raeth.

  “W-we’ll do great, t-together,” she said before grabbing Penton’s hand.

  Bendar touched my fingers. “Speak a moment.”

  As I stepped closer to Bendar, Ryder kissed my cheek. “See you on board.”

  A little bit of hope faded as he walked out the door. It amazed me how connected we were. My heart soared each time he entered a room and sank when he left. Was it because of our gift, the joining we felt? If so, why didn’t it happen when Raeth touched me? She was the third member of the Triune.

  “What is it?” I sat down in one of the chairs, bringing me closer to Bendar’s eye level.

  “Saw face. What you suspect right.”

  I tried to decode his speech. Sometimes, I still found it a challenge to understand his words and meaning. “I saw whose face?”

  “Father.”

  My body stiffened and I clutched the arm of the chair. “What about Harrison?”

  “Not Harrison. Father.” Bendar hopped up on the chair next to me and slid it closer. “Know mad. He behave awful. Not fault.” His gaze flittered around the room, ensuring we were alone. “You remember some. Not all. Know all challenged.”

  “Are you saying my father is struggling with something and it affects how he treats me?”

  “Some, yes.”

  “Ryder said Harrison can’t face the grief of losing his wife and daughter and now won’t let me close to him. That he’s afraid of getting hurt. If Mother sacrificed herself to save me from Mandesa, why did he leave me with her? What kind of man does that?”

  “Man no choice.”

  I sighed. “Everyone has a choice. You remained by my side all those years, in spite of the queen’s treatment. You never abandoned me. So, why did he?”

  “Different. Queen trusted me.” Bendar shook his head. “Not explaining well. Father try save Lanena. Couldn’t. But saved you.” He rubbed his forehead. “Torture and broke.”

  “My father…Harrison was tortured? When?”

  Bendar’s eyes reflected a horrific past, a deep memory of things he didn’t want to remember, let alone say. Yet his need for me to know the truth was stronger. “Father break. Queen used you. War on him.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I clutched my head. A flood of memories pushed at the vault door that secured them. My skin crawled in warning not to release them. Yet, the truth meant power, the ability to make choices without fear, hurt, or misunderstanding.

  The night my mother died hit me like a battering ram, the images flashing like strobe lights.

  “Mama, no!” I sobbed.

  “Harrison, take her! Hide her. The tracker’s in me. There’s no other explanation. Get her to safety.”

  Daddy held me tight in his arms. “I won’t l
eave you.”

  Ship engines rent the night, while I whimpered.

  “Go, now! Save Semara.”

  “Stall them. I’ll get her to Bendar and return.” Daddy kissed Mama. “Never forget, I love you.”

  Rushing into the hidden doorway, Daddy knelt and clutched his head.

  “Daddy, what’s wrong?”

  “Summoning Bendar to come get you.”

  The tsunami of memories continued.

  Bendar arrived. Father passed me to him. “Go. Be brave, my sweet princess.” He hugged me one last time, but it was too late.

  Thump…thump…thump.

  “No!” I cried out. She’d died while he was helping me escape, but had planned on returning.

  Bendar held my hand. “See more.”

  I didn’t want to, didn’t have to. “He sent me away, and I never saw him again. He tried to kill the queen.”

  “Yes. More story?”

  I shoved at another, smaller vault. “I can’t reach anymore. An orange light is blocking me. Whatever happened next is locked tight in my brain.”

  I clutched Bendar tight against me and struggled to regain control of my emotions.

  “No. You block. Not ready.” Bendar patted my head. “Will be soon.”

  Penton poked his head in the door. I scrubbed my face clean of tears and straightened. With a nod, I shoved my grief back behind my mental wall. Over the years, I’d become a pro at hiding my true feelings. With the queen, it had been critical if I wanted to stay alive and sane.

  “Go now.” Bendar hopped to the ground. “Father loves you.”

  We joined Ryder at the door to the clothing room.

  “Hold me for a second.”

  Without a word, he swept me into a hug as his comfort surged into me. My rock, my everything.

  “You all right?” he whispered.

  “I’m fine, now. Let’s go.”

  Boarding the SB-06, I steadied my mind and focused on the mission ahead. Once we rescued Fallon and Thornton, I’d force myself to plow through that pulsing orange light and shatter that self-erected wall.