“Oh. My. Gawd. Tess! I am so super sorry loike! I never wanted you to find out this way babes.” Tess made a hump noise and narrowed her eyes, how had he not sounded like such a feckin asshole when they were together. She snorted and laughed when she thought of Burke’s face when he had heard Jax say magic wand. She craned her neck lower to the machine as she heard Jax whispering.
“I’m moving my stuff out Tess, so is Jen. Your cousin is here Tess, and your brother Tom and your doctor friend. They seem realllly angry loike and I afraid they might, loike, hit something or me. My face is my business Tess. I bruise sooooo easily. Please call them babes. For old times’ sake, dahling.”
Tess groaned and shut her eyes. She rubbed her forehead, a massive headache threatening to erupt. Oh Jesus! The boys had left the pub and rounded up the troops. She hoped they hadn’t hit him either! She grimaced as she heard Tom’s voice booming through the answering machine.
“Is that it all? Good. Now out you go."
“Ah loike, I’ve left my stereo, it’s super expensive loike.” Tess heard a rattle, it sounded like a bag of Lego. She blew out a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She listened bemused as Jax looked in the bag.
“Oh. My. Focking. God! What happened to my stereo? It’s in bloody bits loike.” Jax sounded aggrieved and terrified in equal measure.
“It fell,” came the reply from Burke. Tess closed her eyes as she heard Burke handing Jax a plastic bag filled with his precious stereo in pieces.
“That’s lioke criminal damage, man.”
“You’re right, here’s my card. Sue us.” She smirked when she imagined Tom handing Jax his solicitor’s card. The O’Malley brother’s law firm was renowned as the most exclusive and ruthless in the country.
“Will you be visiting Tess again?” She heard Burke ask.
“No I focking will not!” Came Jax’s indignant reply.
“Good. Get out!”
And with that the door slammed and the machine was cut off. Tess threw back her head and laughed until tears streamed down her face. She wasn’t a fan of wanton violence or threats but something inside her felt a bit vindicated by having the lads on her side. Poor Jax, she bit her bottom lip. The boys were a formidable force. Rían and Tom, like all the O’Malley men were huge, and built like rugby prop forwards; Burke was about 6ft 4inches and equally as big. It would take some man to go against the three of them. And Jax certainly wasn’t that man. Tess went into her bedroom and found her two cats Duchess and Marie sprawled out on her bed.
“Hey little girls,” she rubbed them gently as they purred and nudged her hand.
“Just us for Christmas this year pretties.” She flopped on the bed and sighed up at the ceiling. Will I ever find him? The one made just for me.
A week later
Tess shuffled her bum onto the soft plush sofa and grabbed the bowl of popcorn onto her lap.
“So what exactly are we doing here, your couch is flippin to die for by the way?”
Burke looked up from the laptop and grabbed a fistful of popcorn popping the whole lot in his mouth. Grabbing the bottle of beer by the neck he took a swig and offered it to Tess. Taking it in her hand she took a drink and handed it back to him.
“Thanks Tess. We are looking up youtube to figure out how to do a princess hair braid. Lily is obsessed with having one for her friend Emma’s birthday in two weeks. I need to practice and you as my closest female friend need to help me.”
Tess smiled at him softly. It was things like this that people didn’t know about burke Nason. His height and big bulk made him look like a strong and capable person. And he was, but there was gentleness to him that people rarely saw, unless you knew him well. He looked at her narrowing his eyes.
“What,” he muttered.
“Nothing, it’s just so sweet! What do you want me to do?”
“Here,” he patted a spot on the floor.
“You sit here, and I’ll sit behind you on the couch and try to do it on your hair.”
“Oh so you invited me over with an ulterior motive,” she giggled. Burke laughed and shook his head. Yes Tess, if only you knew how ulterior my motives are where you are concerned. Snap out of it Burke!
Tess was a friend and he had no intention of complicating it by professing his undying love for her. Love? Where the hell had that come from? He groaned internally. This thing, whatever this thing is, was getting ridiculously out of hand. It had steadily grown from a mild attraction to a burgeoning obsession over the last five years. Tess slid down onto the floor and Burke jumped up and sat behind her on the couch. He grimaced behind her back. This was a bad idea. His hands were shaky as he gathered up her hair and began to brush it in smooth strokes. Damn that’s soft. Damn that smells good. He could smell the apple shampoo she used and as her hair threaded through his fingers like a curtain of silk, he felt himself grow hard. He dropped her hair suddenly and coughed loudly. Stop being hard Burke! He willed himself to calm the hell down.
Tess turned to look at him. “Are you finding it too hard?”
“What! No! I mean…. no. No it’s fine, just getting my bearings. I’m not a flippin' hairdresser you know.”
Tess scrunched her face and widened her eyes. “What the heck is wrong with you? Take your time, calm down. Geesh.”
Burke felt as though his face was fire engine red and he couldn’t look her in the eye. “Okay, yeah. Sorry, it’s just frustrating. How the heck am I supposed to get this perfect in two weeks?”
Tess took the brush from his hands and squeezed his knee. He stiffened. Don’t do that woman, Jesus Christ on a bike!
“Hey Burke, hey, you are doing great. You’re a great dad and Lil is lucky to have you. Look, just take the two pieces from the sides and start there.” Tess smiled back at him. “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.”
Neither am I! Until this raging hard on goes anyway. Burke smiled and nodded. “Thanks Tess, you’re a great friend.” Tess sang ‘That’s what friends are for’ at him closing her eyes.
Burke looked at her closed eyes, her beautiful face, leaned forward and cupped his hands on either side of her face. And then he kissed her. Just like that.
Tess jumped up and moved away from him, her hand covering her mouth where only seconds before his lips were pressed.
“What the hell did you do that for?! Burke! What the hell did you do that for?!”
Burke stood holding a cushion in front of his crotch and ran his fingers through his hair and moved from one foot to the other. He stuttered out, “I ….I don’t know, it just happened. You must know how I feel about you Tess.”
Tess shook her head in confusion. “How you feel about me? What the feck are you talking about, how you feel about me? How?…What?…..How? What the hell is that cushion for?” She slapped it away and her eyes widened when the bulge in his pants was suddenly and obviously staring her in the face. And just like that, she dropped the hairbrush, turned on her heel and ran.
Burke stood statue still as the door slammed. He looked down at his now dying erection and groaned. Thanks a fecking lot! Seriously, thanks you bloody pervert!
Tess jumped in her car and turned the ignition key. “Come on you stupid thing! Come on!” Her palms were sweaty and she was breathing heavy. Don’t think about it! Don’t mention it! The elephant in the room, the erection in the trousers. Aghhhhh shut up! His erection was huge! Shut up!!! Don’t think about it! How can I not? It was there, looking at me! All erection-like. Stop saying erection! Tess took a breath and pounded her foot on the accelerator. She made it home in record time, turned off her phone and spent the night like an owl staring at the ceiling.
“For feck sake Tess! Are you seriously saying you are not going to celebrate your birthday?”
Annie’s face dangled two inches from Tess’ nose and her eyes looked massive.Tess put her palm on Annie’s forhead and pushed her back gently. “Nooooo I’m saying… low key Annie, lowwww bloody key! And my birthday is not for three weeeks yet!”
Annie slapped her hand on the leg of her worn and ripped blue jeans.
“Back up on the horse Tess, feck those two feckers Cal and Jax. You need a good old fashioned date. And maybe to stay away from men with three letters in their names, eh? Let some young lad pamper and wine and dine you. You need to be treated like a lady and I have just the fella for ya.”
I should tell her, about Burke. He has more than three letters in his name. Is that a sign?Of course it’s not a sign you eejit! Ugh feck my life! Burke kissed me Annie and I liked it. No I can’t tell her,she won’t let me sort it in my head.
“What are you thinking about Tess? Your eyes are moving around like you’re having some sort of episode. Are you okay?” Annie was staring at her, suspicion and concern in her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Okay, bring it on; do your worst, what’s in store?” Tess closed one eye and looked at her cousin wearily. After that thing with Burke a few nights before she was in a state of complete and utter mindfuck. Annie hugged Tess smiling and popped a peanut butter cup into her mouth. Tess shook herself out of her brainfog and waited patiently until Annie had finished closing her eyes and having a loud oral orgasam. What the hell is it with this girl and food?
“I, my dearest darling Tess, have a blind date for you that you will never forget.”
“Annie….ah no...Come on! After Cal and then Jax, I think I deserve a break from men for the foreseeable future, say ten years at least. And as for surprises? I’m done.”
Annie clasped her hands together.“Trust me on this one Tess, he is handsome, normal, sane and has a job.”
“Kids?” Tess ventured feeling hopeful.
“Nope, and no ex-wife either, and get this, his name is Patrick, isn’t that lovely, Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatrick.”
“How do you manage to make the name Patrick sound dirty?”
“Patrick, sexy old Paddy, Pat.” Annie looked at Tess’ face, realised that she was losing her at a rapid rate, and held her hands up in a calming motion. Tess shook her head grimacing.
“Okay, have you forgotten that I have a brother called Patrick And a father too? You know your cousin Patrick, your uncle Pa? So ugh! You’re losing me, what’s wrong with him? No really, what is wrong with him?”
“He’s thirty two, unmarried, and no baggage and…”
“Sounding more suspicious by the second.”
“Just career focused and driven apparently.”
Tess snorted, Annie grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her solemnly.
“Look Tess, he is a cousin of my friend Jackie from the veterinary practice; you met her at the Christmas do last year, happy, friendly blonde girl?” Tess scrunched up her eyes and shook her head.
Annie flicked her hair and pouted like a loon. “Remember now?” Tess nodded along and tried to place Jackie in her mind, not easy considering the sea of strangers that were there the night of Annie’s last Christmas party and the amount of vodka consumed.
“Weren’t we all drunk at your Christmas party; didn’t Tom fall down the stairs?”
Annie nodded enthusiastically.
“Trust me T; she swears he’s a dote. Sooooo?”
“Okay, for feck sake, when and where?” Tess reckoned that caving to Annie was better than having to deal with the reasons why, why Burke was constantly invading her thoughts.
“Tomorrow night, in a pub in town.”
Tess groaned and focused on trying to attach a little snowflake to a braclet she was finishing.
Annie picked up a little Santa, silver figurine and squinted at it. “How do you make them so tiny and so perfect? You really should go out on your own Tess. Start up your own business and leave Sloan’s Jewlers. You have the money.”
Tess grumbled and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a risk.”
Annie clapped her on the back so hard she dropped the santa into a pile of silver snowflakes. She turned fully on her swivel chair and glared at Annie. Annie ignored her and drew a chair up beside her.
“Everything is a risk Tess. Life is a risk. You have to take chances to move things forward.”
Tess pursed her lips. “Not everyone likes taking risks Annie, some of us like to play it safe.” Annie rubbed Tess’ shoulder. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you Tess. You are the boss of your own destiny. I just want you to be happy, that’s all.” Tess smiled at Annie and nodded. “I know Annie. I know.”
“Okay, we’ve had enough chit chat, I have a sick cat waiting for a blood transfusion back at the surgery. Keep me posted on your date, text me if he is soooo gorgeous you need a second opinion.”
Annie winked at Tess and had a look on her face that screamed matchmaking champion of the world. Tess didn’t have the heart to even moan about it all.
By seven on Friday, Tess had trained her ridiculously fly-away hair into a ponytail, put on her favourite fifties style dress, black with red roses all over it and sparkly ‘wizard of Oz’ red shoes with a four inch heel. Tess felt they gave her the appearance of not being short, she was going for quirky and not too desperate, eventually settling for a bit retro. This was crazy. Why was she going on a date with all this Burke stuff racing around in her head? She was so confused. She felt something. She knew she did, she just didn’t want to even think about going there. They were friends, best friends. The more she thought about him and his wayward erection the hotter she felt! What the hell! I can’t go there.Can I?
She fingered the envelope Annie and Aoife had left on her kitchen counter that contained the pub information and a condom inside. The condom said, ‘Juicy orange flavoured fun’ on the wrapper. Tess gave it a filthy look and threw it in the bin outside her apartment as she made her way up the street, and then doubled back and fished it out, just in case.
“Hey! That’s mine.”
Tess looked behind her and saw Joseph. She closed her eyes and willed him to go away. Joseph was a day patient at the care home Tess volunteered at every Saturday morning, and was a contrary old so and so.
“I see you, stealing from my stuff.”
Tess wave her arms around and spoke in a slow and semi patronising voice.
“Joe, this is a bin, a bin for rubbish, I just accidently threw something in here and now I am getting it back out.”
“They sent you here, didn’t they; to take my chewing gum out of my bin, give it here!” Joe lunged forward and Tess congratulated herself at how quick she had become in avoiding his grip. He was pretty spritely for eighty two.
“No Joe. It’s not chewing gum, it’s a …a... it’s not chewing gum.” Tess was tempted to stamp her foot. I have a date people!
“Liar, give it here,” Joe snarled at her as she turned around. Tess froze as she felt something hit the back of her skirt.
No. No. No. She refused to rise to it. “Did you just spit on my skirt Joseph? You did not just spit on my skirt!”
Joe made a face that Tess assumed resembled her own outraged look.
“Did you just spit on my skirt Joseph?” He replied. He really is becoming an amazing mimic. Tess felt a momentary sense of pride at his progression in that department.
“Fine, here. Gawd, take it.” She handed him the condom and watched as he unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth. He would probably put it to better use than her anyway.
“Hmmmm orangey, I’m watching you. Swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping!”
Tess made a mental note to talk to Angie the matron about limiting all future Dora episodes in Granville retirement home. The home had taken to showing cartoons at certain times of the day to stop the fighting over ‘Dallas’ re-runs. It had got pretty violent, pretty quickly.
Walking quickly down the street, Tess willed the forty eight bus to be on time, which it was. Score! She used the half an hour journey to search for and clean off the spit Joe had so generously regurgitated onto her skirt.
Walking into the bar she was immediately struck by one undeniable fact. The place was a shithole. A real shithole. The walls were sweating, the f
loor was covered with chewing gum and beer stains that had been spilled on it over the years. Charming! Struck by its shittiness, but not surprised, with her dating record, Tess mentally crossed my fingers and toes. Oh Annie O’Malley….what the hell have I agreed to?
Taking a seat Tess flicked through her phone facebooking friends and generally catching up. She took a photo of herself with the the half deaf, nearly dead barman in the background. Lolling out her tongue she captioned it, ‘Ride of the night?’ and sent it on to Annie. Eight o’ clock came and went, and at a quarter past Tess shrugged and decided to leave. She’d given him fifteen minutes in case he was stuck in traffic and then decided to feck off out of there. As she stood up she heard a voice to her right.
“Are you Teresa?”
A few things happened at once.
Firstly, she said “It’s Tess actually.”
Secondly, she looked down. As that seem to be the general area from which the voice had come. And it was.
And a third thing followed, just one word, one word that was beginning to describe her work life, love life and everything else lately. One little word. “Shit.”
He wasn’t a dwarf as such, more a very very small Irishman. Suddenly wishing that she hadn’t worn her heels, Tess groaned. At five foot she would have an inch or two on him anyway, but it wouldn’t have felt so odd. At 5ft 4ins it meant that she was well into gigantor territory. And he was nearer to sixty than thirty. There were some big discrepancies here! Either Annie was taking the piss or blonde Jackie was permanently pissed drunk every time she had met her cousin.
“Well, helloooooo d’there Teresa.”
“Tess,” she replied, not even giving him a watery excuse for a smile this time.
“I think you were expecting Patrick, Teresa. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to make it. I’m his second cousin Jim, up from Athlone.” He nodded at her; she nodded back as though this explained a multitude.
“O...kay.”
Five minutes later Tess made the momentous and life changing decision to never eat coleslaw again; the deciding factor was watching Jim massacre a chicken and coleslaw ‘sangwich.' For some reason the coleslaw had decided to set up home at the side of Jim’s mouth, and like a petulant teenager was not moving out anytime soon.
Winter Wonderland: An O'Malley Christmas story (The O'Malleys Book 2) Page 4