“I’ve been here since 6 o’ clock, waiting for you Teresa.”
“Hmmm”, Tess nodded.
No shit, he was half tanked and kept missing his mouth with his pint. He was also slowly developing a suspicious wet patch at the crotch of his pants. Tess decided to text Annie the code words for a bad date - which she made up on the spot. When texting ‘GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE’ she hoped Annie would get the message both literally and figuratively.
Excusing herself, Tess went to find the bathroom and sat on a toilet lid, took a handful of deep breaths and took a drag off her electronic emergancy cigerette. Peeling off the no smoking sign, she threw it on the floor in protest. Her phone suddenly beeped enthusiastically. Annie. Thank God.
‘Be there in an hour, hang tight.’
Tess squealed! Hang tight, is she feckin kidding me! Making her way back to Jim, Tess noticed that a band were setting up, at least she could feign deafness and ignore him for the next fifty seven minutes and counting.
“Come on Teresa, have a dance.”
“No thank you Jim, I don’t dance, and my name is Tess.”
“Are you mad, sure everyone dances, Teresa. Come on, please. I haven’t been out with a woman in three years.”
He held up four fingers. Gazing at Tess with his good eye looking all sad, Tess sighed. “Oh feck it, come on.”
Why not give him a few minutes of pleasure? She had been sick last Saturday morning and missed the old folks disco anyway. She was also worried that she may have contributed to Joseph choking to death on an orange flavoured condom. Trying not to think of the autopsy and the awkward questions that would follow, Tess decided that a show of compassion towards an older man might look quite good at her potential parole hearing.
“Sure Jim, let’s go.”
The space in front of the band was clear and they started dancing to ‘Working nine to five’.
Jim grabbed her hand, sweaty, she noted, and pulled her onto the floor. Tess danced with her usual level of skill, moving one foot slowly to one side and joining it with the other one, while wondering what the hell to do with her arms. Jim was much more of an energetic dancer; he started to spin around and grabbed her hand to spin her too. For a minute it was fun and reminded her of being a child, after the first ten spins she started to feel like the girl in the movie ‘The field’ being spun around by the Bull Mc Cabe’s crazy son. A three second fantasy of the actor Sean Bean followed and Tess inhaled deeply smiling. Her eyes landed on Jim who was smiling broadly back at her. Oops.
Stepping back a bit and tryting to stop the room spinning Tess noticed something at the corner of her eye. She noticed that Jim was looking a bit odd. Well, obviously even more odd. His leg was doing something strange. It didn’t look quite right somehow.
“You okay Jim? Your leg seems, well, it seems to be falling out of your trousers.”
Jim stopped suddenly and just like that... his leg fell off. I’ve broken him!
“Oh My God. Oh My God.” The toilet seemed to be the safest place for her to hide out until Annie came. Grabbing her bag and running through the door into the ladies, Tess had to formulate a plan, and fast! She decided within ten seconds to escape by any means necessary. When the knocking on the door started, she held her breath.
“Teresa, it’s me, Jim, are you wanting another drink? Do you have the loan of a twenty euro note maybe? I seem to be a bit short.” No shit Sherlock!
“It’s Tess! I mean yes! I mean I’ll be there in a few minutes.” She took her purse from her handbag and squeezed a twenty under the door.
Okay, just to clarify. When she initially decided to go out the window it seemed like a good plan. Easy peesey, the window seemed big enough, not too high off the ground and hey she wouldn’t have to look at Jim, his coleslaw face or sweaty leg/not leg for the next forty six minutes. Climbing up on the sink she shimmied towards the window, opening the creaky latch she let out a long breath. It’s working, deck the bloody halls with holly and ride a reindeer!
The window opened easily enough and Tess threw her coat and bag on the grass below. Sliding her body out of the window. Jesus, this is working! I am a super duper feminist woman, in control of her own destiny, ready to take on the world, to fight the good fight..to …shit! Her body slid out the window, half of her body. Her top half, the bottom half needed some wiggling. Being a pear shape Tess may have slightly underestimated her girth. Who am I kidding? The window is a definite size 10 and my arse is a definite size 14. Pulling in her stomach and pushing forward her tongue between her teeth, Tess huffed and puffed….. and….suddenly all wiggle room was gone, she couldn’t move in either direction. After a few minutes hanging there, feeling like a marshmallow stuck up a nostril, she decided that she needed a different plan of action. Straining to reach her handbag on the ground it kept slipping out of reach. Okay Tess! Keep calm, get your bearings.
Looking around Tess noticed that the bathroom backed onto a housing estate.
“Hey...hey you guys come here,” she called to two young boys who were messing around in the green area at the back of the pub.
The boys came over and stood looking at her, assessing the situation.
“Jaysus Mrs, is your big fat arse stuck in the window?” The taller of the boys said incredulously, mouth open like a slack jawed yokel.
“Am… I do… I do seem to be a bit stuck, would you be an angel and pass me my phone there on the ground so I can ring my friends?” She smiled at him and tried fluttering her lashes. He raised his eyebrow and gave her a decidedly yeah right look.
Still he picked up her handbag, took out her phone and smiled at Tess widely. Not such a little prick after all. Maybe.
“Oh thank you, thank you, bring it over here; I’ll give you a tener out of my purse when I get out of here.”
Yokel number one bit his lip and seemed to be thinking.
“I think ya need a bit more help than that, I’ll ring 999 for ya.” Smirks all round and three other teenagers had joined the party, a small crowed was quickly forming.
“DON’T YOU FECKING DARE!”
“Hello, ya I’m at the back of Finlay’s pub in Ballybeg, a woman has had an accident, and you’d better come quickly. It looks serious, like”
“STOP, stop it you little shite hawk!” Tess roared at him.
Tess groaned aloud when knocking on the door behind her began again in earnest.
“Teresa, are you okay? You’ve been in there a long time.” Jim. Shit.
“Ah…I’ll be out in a minute, ladies business! Don’t come in okay!”
“Are you sure you’re alright? You sound strange, don’t be frightened my love, sometimes when I get sweaty me leg slides a bit, it’ll be grand in a minute.”
“Okay,” Tess squeaked. Fuck, fuck, fuckedy fuck!
Tess closed her eyes and began to pray. Sometimes the guards don’t come when called, maybe I’ll get lucky. No chance. She crossed her fingers and closed her eyes hoping for a sudden disaster somewhere else. Then berated herself for wishing harm on others. A disaster where no one dies, she corrected herself, nodding.
And then, just like that, all hell broke loose.
“Jesus, she’s stuck alright, Hello miss, I’m Garda Connor Phlean, we’ll have you out in no time, it’s lucky for you we were patrolling in the area.”
NO.NO.NO. There was a guard talking to her arse.
“You little bitch.”
Tess closed her eyes tightly. Jim, she presumed.
“Sir, your girlfriend is in a bit of trouble here, maybe now is not the best time.”
“He’s not my boyfriend”, Tess shouted back.
“Oh you’re too good for me now, Teresa. Is that it? Do you think you’re something special do ya? I prefer my women with less meat on them anyway, and you’re a bit big for my liking in all fairness.”
“Ouch,” Tess flinched when she felt a slap on her backside.
“Sir... Oh. You have a false leg. Please don’t hit the lady with it okay! Ev
erything is under control.”
The guard sounded like he was smiling. He whispered loudly into his two way radio, “Ah Garda Callaghan, we have a situation in the ladies toilet, if you could go to the back of Finlays, there’s a mighty crowd forming. I could use another car over here and the fire brigade too, thanks. No Tom. No fire, just tell them to bring the cutters, and tell the lads to come for a look, it’s feckin brilliant.”
“You’re okay now Tess, that’s it good, deep breaths.” She nodded at Burke slightly woozy as he held the oxygen mask over her face.
Twenty seven minutes it had taken them to eventually get her out. By the end, her embarrassment had exceeded its natural limits and she had waited quietly as they worked to free her. The pub owner was frantic about the cost of replacing the window, the local newspaper had shown up and somewhere in the middle of it all Tess’ handbag had disappeared. When Annie and her brothers had eventually arrived she was passed caring. Even when they had taken pictures on their phones and made a big deal out of uploading them onto their Facebook pages immediately. Jim had disappeared, back to Athlone with tales of County Clare being full of fat arsed bitches, no doubt. Annie held it together impressively, especially when Tess recounted her date in full graphic detail for the guards. A few minutes later, little shaking movements as she waited by the ambulance told Tess that the traitorous mare was pissing herself laughing.
“Thank you Burke. I’m sure your working here has been made more interesting by my embarrassingly, ridiculous misfortune.”
“Listen Tess, you haven’t seen anything, until you’ve seen some of the cases we get in hospitals.” He winked and smiled a half smile that made her heart bump a bit. Oooh Doctor. Eh? Er…What the heck is in this stuff!
“Thanks,” Tess even managed a half smile.
“So you went on a date then?” He seemed serious suddenly, and looked a bit hurt.
“Ah it was arranged ages ago.” Liar. Burke nodded at her in silence, the smile gone from his face.
“Ready to go….Teresa. I mean Tess!” Her brother Ciaran was practically bouncing up and down on his heels; he was on a high, equivalent to a puppy being locked in a dog food factory. Burke shot Ciaran a look of concern and said, “She’s ready, take good care of her, and rest up for the next while Tess, until the bruising and swelling heals.” Tess nodded at him a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.
Tess closed her eyes and waved at Burke as Ciaran wheeled her out of the hospital. Annie joined in step beside them and whispered between her teeth.
“I will flippin kill Jackie, I swear hun. I think I could rearrange the date for you with the real Patrick if you’d like.” Tess gave her evil eyes and Annie closed her mouth with a zipping motion.
Finally Tess made it home making a deliberate attempt to ignore Ciaran and his head shaking and “Oh I must give Dad a ring tomorrow to see if he has any news ha ha,” banter. Falling into bed in her clothes, bruised and feeling extremely sorry for herself, Tess looked at her phone as it beeped a meassge through from her events diary.
Date night Tess, could be the one!
Throwing the phone across the room, she groaned into her pillow.
Tess finished her lunchbreak and walked through the town admiring the christmas displays in the windows of the local shops in Limerick city. She felt gloomy. There really was no other word for it. Something inside her was dimming. Even the Christmas spirit wasn’t enough to shake her out of the slump she was in. Burke was on her mind constantly and she was wrecked tired. Sleep was hiding from her and her nights were caught up in fear and apprehension about meeting him again one on one. Not to mention the ridiculously hot sex dreams she was having about Burke and his cushionless erection. And his smile, his laugh, his heart, his soul and every bloody thing else about him that made him…well….Burke. Her Burke.
Work sucked too. The christmas rush was on and she had been on her feet all day. Streams of happy shoppers milled in and out of the shop looking at jewellry and trinkets. If she heard the words ‘Do you have anything not too expensive but looks expensive?’ one more time she was liabile to scream. Another three hours passed by and she was just about done for the day. As the crowds died down a bit she got busy replacing stock under the counter.
“Tess?”
Tess heard the familiar voice and bumped her head as she got up off the floor where she was arranging some rings in a display cabinet.
“Burke! This is a surprise.” He reached out his hand and helped her up. His hand felt warm and strong and Tess felt her eyes drawn to the brown soft skin on his hand.
Oh my God he’s so bloody gorgeous. Green eyes. She usually prefered brown, but green would do. Oh green will do just fine. Stop saying green and stop staring at his eyes. How’d he get his lashes so long and black. Jesus, I’d kill for them. I need to get mine done, soon too. Twenty two euro for a lash tint though. Bloody rip off merchants. This is Burke you are talking about, what the hell?
“Tess?” Burke was squinting at her his head cocked to one side.
“What’s up. Is everything okay with Lily?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s Lily I wanted to talk to you about.The bracelet you were wearing the other night in the hospital. I want to get one for Lily, for Christmas.”.
“Oh.. I see.” Tess felt slightly deflated and wasn’t altogether sure why.
Tess watched as he unravelled his scarf from his neck and opened the top three buttons of his woolen black coat. The smell of aftershave hit her right between the eyes, well between the nostrils. Whatever!! Sandalwood, her favourite. His hair was the dark brown, almost black and cut tight, military style. She liked it that way. It looked like it would feel rough and spikey beneath her fingertips. Where were these crazy feelings coming from? Five years, five feckin years she had seen his hair and never wanted to rub her fingers against it. Or rub anything else either!
“May I have a look?” He looked down at the bracelet examining it closely. Tess nodded raising her arm to give him better access. She jumped slightly as he reached across her arm and his thumb accidently brushed the inside of her wrist. Each snowflake had been handmade and little dimante were encrusted in the centre of each one.
“Wow Tess, that’s incredible workmanship. So well made and designed. You are very talented. Why don’t you do this full time?” He back up suddenly and held up his palms.
“Whoa sorry, that was rude. It’s none of my business of course.” Tess looked into his face and longed for the ease of their relationship before the kiss. The old Burke wouldn’t have apologised for asking a question. She missed him. I miss you so much.
She shook her head. Be cool!
“No. No that’s fine. I’d love to start my own business I just…I just… Well.I just haven’t done it yet. I’m a bit of a chicken to be honest and I like routine so it makes me nervous to even think…..” Tess drifted off and blushed.
“Sorry I’m rambling.” She folded and unfolded her arms and settled on twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.
Burke shook his head from side to side.“No It’s okay Tess. I’m interested in you. I mean your work. I like you.Your work! Jesus sorry.” Burke rubbed a hand through his hair and held it on his forehead grinning at her. Get your shit together Nason for heaven’s sake! Why was he acting like a fool around her. This is Tess, your Tess, be cool! My Tess? I wish.
Tess giggled at him, he continued to stare, until suddenly the giggles died in her throat and she bit her bottom lip as she drank him in.
Burke started into her eyes as he lightly rubbed his fingertip over each design. She was mesmerizing. Her hair was rich and full, toffee coloured with streaks and slices of blonde the framed her face. His eyes as always immediately drawn to her lips, a little too full on top, and beautifully penciled in. Eyes of the lightest cornflower blue, round and slightly too wide for her narrow face. She had always looked so vulnerable and soft to him. She spoke suddenly breaking his stream of consciousness.
“Yes, the Christmas line of j
ewellery is my favourite. Did you want something in particular?” Tess held his gaze and he inched slightly closer. Too close.
“It has to be really special, for a very special girl.” Burkes eyes stayed on her lips and he noticed that they parted slightly as he watched them.
“Oh.” Tess was pretty sure she had just been served her curiousity on a plate, but she couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence or back away from him. Her eyes were level with his chest and she wanted him to wrap his arms around her and pull her into the warmth of his embrace. She stepped back from him and moved around the side of the glass counter, suddenly glad of the barrier between them.
“Does old man Sloan let you sell them here?” Burke asked. Tess scrunched up her face at him laughing.
“No chance. I make them for people on an individual basis. Each one is unique and made just for the wearer.”
“I’d like one very much. Will you make one for me? I mean for Lily.”
Tess’ hands flew to her chest. “Really? I’d love too!”
Burke cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes a fraction assessing her. “Okay, well good I’ll leave it with you. I’d love if you would give me a ring next week to arrange an appointment.”
He nodded towards Tess, pulled a black wool hat down onto his head and left without a backward glance. Tess watched him walk out of the shop, his tight arse clad in a pair of grey charcoal trousers as he carried his coat over his arm. Bless me father for I have sinned. Lead me not into temptation, she groaned.
Tess drummed her fingers along the edge of the cupboard. Cup of coffee in hand she banged her top teeth off the bottom ones and took a sharp intake of breath. Ugh, there was no getting away from this. She had promised Burke that she would ring about the bracelet. Whatever about trying to fight the sudden ridiculous attraction that she felt for him, being a professional was something that was of utmost importance to Tess. Their family had been reared to work hard, not returning a business call was not an option.
Winter Wonderland: An O'Malley Christmas story (The O'Malleys Book 2) Page 5