“Jesus, will you just ring him for heavens sake! I can’t bear your puppy dog expression one more second.”
Tess rolled her eyes. “Annie will you get over it. Burke is our friend. This is purely a business transaction.”
“Nah, Burke is my friend. And the brothers friend. With you, it’s something different. Obviously you are too blind to see it. I saw it the first time he met you. The spark. But, you were chasing Cal and then Jax and being ridiculously blind to the amazing person in front of you. And now that he’s kissed you, you’re hooked” Tess slammed down the cup onto the counter.
“Annie. I’m sorry I even told you! Just leave it will you. The last thing I need now is a man. I’m done. I need some time just for me. I’m handing in my notice tomorrow at work. I’m going out on my own with Tess’ Trinkets. Even if I wanted to pursue this thing with Burke I wouldn’t.”
Yeah right! Even if I wanted to, even if I wanted to? Utter bollocks! You are a total eejit Tess, You know you want to do dirty, dirty things with him, to him.
Annie’s eyes widened and her mouth rounded in surprise. “Did you talk to the lads about quitting Sloans? When did you decide this Tess?” Tess put up her palms and shook her head.
“No. I didn’t talk to the lads. I don’t need to okay every decision in my life with my family. God Annie, you were the one who encouraged me to do it. You said I shoud jump in feet first and set up Trinkets by Tess! Do you think I’ve made a mistake?”
Annie backed up her hands up in submisssion. She laughed loudly and shrugged her shoulders. “No, no! Okay, okay. I was just asking. I’m happy for you, truly I am. I’ve thought you should have done it long before now. I’m so proud of you Tess. It’ll be great!”
Tess mumbled to herself and grabbed the phone dialing Burke’s number.
“Hey Burke? I’m ringing..Oh Good. I’m good. I just wanted to set up a meeting for later this week. Oh anytime, yeah Monday is good, two O’Clock is perfect. Come out to pear tree cottage. Yeah, more room than the apartment. See you then Burke.” Tess hung up the phone and finally breathed out. Her hand was shaking and she felt like putting her head between her legs to stop from passing out.
“Sooooooo.” Annie started.
“So? Oh, Monday at two. And don’t go making something out of it Annie, it’s professional nothing more.” Tess turned around and busied herself with some laundry that needed folding. Annie stared at her back and mouthed Yeah right into the ether.
At exactly two o’Clock on Monday afternoon, Tess was pacing up and down the kitchen at pear tree cottage. The wooden floors had a well worn track, because Tess was a pacer. Whether dreaming up ideas and designs, or worrying about something inane, she paced. Wringing her hands Tess swallowed deeply, then berated herself for being so damn nervous.
What the hell is wrong with you Tess? He’s a client, nothing more. Oh a hot as hell client,who up until last week was one of your best friends, and is now keep you up at night with hot sexy dreams!
She inhaled deeply and could still imagine the smell of him as he had leaned in close to her at the shop. No matter how much attraction she would never step over that line. Friends were friends, lovers were….lovers! If there was one thing she was passionate about, it was true love. And Burke was a friend. A sexy, kind, generous wonderful friend. And sexy, did she already say sexy? Ugh, I am morphing into an oversexed freak!
Hearing the crunch of the frost under the wheels of a car outside, Tess smoothed her hair and brushed imaginary lint from her black jeans and red christmas sweater. She ran her hands through her high ponytail and rubbed her index finger along her teeth. Walking towards the big oak door of the cottage she plastered on a smile and pulled the door open just as the knock came.
“Burke, welcome to pear tree cottage,” she had practiced it a few times earlier and was surprised when it came out less shakey than she imagined it would. Thrusting her hand out she was taken back when instead she was enveloped in a warm embrace. Closing her eyes, Tess inhaled softly. He smelled like pine and cloves, she just about resisted the urge to purr gently against him.
“Tess,” he murmured against her neck. Oh Heavens. Burke stepped back and Tess took in his dark blue jeans, black woolen turtleneck jumper and a grey hand knitted beanie hat. Damn! How did he manage to do effortlessly cool so…well…effortlessly and cooly. Tess smiled at him weakly and looked over at the Jeep that was parked at the side of the house.
“Are you on your own?” she asked rubbing her lips together. Burke slapped his forehead.
“No! Sorry one second,” he ran back to the jeep and pulled open a back door. Tess could heard muffled laughter and voices, her eyes smiling as Lily emerged from the side of the house. Lily waved enthusiastically at Tess and smiled. Tess waved back and looked from the little black haired beauty to Burke and back again. Burke grabbed Lily’s hand in his own, rubbed it gently and brought her over to Tess.
Tess knew she was gawking, gawking from one to the other like a fool and no words were coming from her lips. She coughed suddenly and shook herself out of her surprise. She smiled down at Lily who was hopping from one foot to the other looking all around the outside of Pear Tree cottage curiously. The house was like a virtual rocket ship. Tess had bullied three of her brothers Ciaran, Tom and Alex into draping a million fairy lights of all different colours and shapes along the roof from one gable end to the other. A 5ft santa was standing lit up outside the front door and reindeer made of wood were lounging around the garden in various poses.
“Lily, you look lovely. Come here to me and give me a hug,”she hugged Lily gently.
“You look really pretty Tess, and your house looks like santa’s house,” Lily said smiling at Tess. Tess didn’t miss the knowing look in Lily’s eyes as she looked from Tess to Burke and back again. Beaming at her newest ally Tess said, “And you’re really pretty too. I like your hat, I just love reindeers.”
Lily’s hat was a reindeer with a red nose that lit up and blinked, perfect.
“Do you guys want to come inside for a hot chocolate?” Tess knew she was staring at Burke but he was so damn dreamy that it was impossible not to sneak glances at him.
“That sounds amazing. The place looks great Tess.”
“Well, I thought I should make it more homely seeing as I’ll be living here full time from now on. I gave up my job in the city, and my apartment and took the plunge. From January on this will be the head quarters of Trinkets by Tess.”
“Wow, Tess. That’s a brave move, I’m delighted for you. So it looks like we will both be starting afresh in the new year. I’ve taken a position at the Kilvarna medical centre. Better hours, less hectic.” He held her gaze and Tess felt more than a little flushed by the intensity of his eyes.
“Are duchess and Marie here Tess?” Tess looked down at Lily and nodded. “They sure are and we have horses here too now.”
“Oh, you have horses,” Lilly said reverently. “I love horses.”
“Well Lily, you can have a ride sometime if your daddy says it’s okay.” Burke smiled at Tess and mouthed Thanks. Laughing silently she shook her head mouthing back no problem.
Burke rubbed Lily’s hair and looked gratefully at Tess.
“Are you sure, I don’t want to be forcing you into anything?” He whispered.Tess laughed and shook her head.
“It’s no bother. I don’t get enough time to go riding myself anymore anyway. Old Herbie and misty could do with having someone to fawn over them and give them some attention.”
Lily clasped her hands together and looked at Burke with wide brown doe eyes, he in turn rolled his eyes at Tess.
“Okay Lily, you can go horse riding here someday.” Lily squealed and hugged her father and then Tess. Tess stood still with her hands by her sides as Lily flung her arms around her waist. Something in Tess suddenly felt sad, and she wrapped her arms around Lily and returned the hug.
“Duchess and Marie are inside on the couch if you want to give them a rub, they would be ever so g
rateful.” Lily didn’t need to be asked twice and ran in through Tess’ open front door. Burke turned to look at Tess and took off his hat, his breath came out in white plumes and he blew into his hands holding them together in front of his face as he spoke.
“It’s lovely to see you again Tess. I’m so excited to get this bracelet made for Lil, she’s turning seven soon and I wanted to get her something very special. Her first real piece of jewellery.”
Tess wrapped her arms around her waist and nodded at Burke. He put his arm on her shoulder and pointed into the house.
“Now, what’s a guy got to do to get some of that hot choclate you promised. And please tell me you have marshmallows,” he said winking at her.
“It’s a well known fact that if anyone ever serves you hot choclate without marshmallows Burke, you are entitled to start a beat down on their arse.”
Tess threw her head back and laughed when she saw the shocked expression on his face. “I take very few things in life seriously, as you know Christmas and hot chocolate are two of them.” He moved towards her and stopped so close to her that she could see the brown flecks surrounding the green iris of his eyes. He brushed a wayward hair away from her face and bent his head until his lips were a hairs breath from touching hers.
“Well, then Tess. I shall promise to never serve you hot chocolate without marshmallows. I’d hate to disappoint you.” Tess held her breath until he smiled and moved passed her, ducking his head as he entered through the low cottage door. Well feck me sideways! The neck of her jumper suddenly felt like a noose around her neck and she pulled at it licking her lips and breathing heavy. He was sexy as sin itself, and her thoughts had taken a dive somewhere into the lower regions of her body.
The three of them spent a lazy few hours talking and laughing about everything from T.V shows, to the antics of Duchess and Marie who as usual relished the thought of company and the extra attention that visitors lavished upon them. Tess and Burke had left a contented Lily watching a movie and sat at the kitchen table whispering about Lily’s Christmas gift. Burke had decided on snowflakes and a silver christmas tree and Tess had spend time lovingly sketching out the design.
Burke watched her as she moved the pencil expertly between her fingers. She was so beautiful and fragile looking. The sheer attraction he felt to her was almost overwhelming to him, and he felt a massive amount of guilt for comparing it to his attraction to other women, including Sinead. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was about Tess that made him want to protect her and kiss her, but he was done denying it was there. I love Tess O’Malley. There it was said. In his head of course, he hadn’t the balls to say it to her in real terms. But, he breathed a sigh of relief anyway. For years he had carried it around like a burden. A bittersweet secret carving a deep hole into his heart. Now that he had admitted it to himself, it seemed almost easier to cope with the rejection of it. The words danced above his head all jumbled up and big and bold. I love her! I’ve loved her for years, for five feckin years. The love he felt for Sinead would never die, not while he had Lily and the memories. But, it was a different love now, a respectful love of all they had shared and lost.
This thing for Tess, this thing with Tess, it was wild and untamed.
He clicked his jaw in disgust, he shouldn’t be feeling like this about someone who considered him nothing more than a friend. Even worse he was using Lily to get close to her. Ah he wanted the bracelet for Lily, but deep down he knew that it was really just a way of being around Tess. Maybe you could ask her out like a normal person, Burke. Yeah, he could do that, but it had been so long he didn’t even know how to formulate the words into an actual sentence. And what if she said no? Then she’d think he was some kind of creepy fiend trying to pick her up through his daughter. Yeah…and, isn’t that exactly what you did? Ah shut up! Lily had fallen asleep on the couch and he watched Tess tuck a warm blanket on top of her and then smile softly down at her.
“She really is very cute, Burke,” Tess turned to him and then blushed when she caught him staring at her.
“I probably should just wake her up and hit the road for home, she’ll wake up starving and can turn from angel to devil in a minute where food is concerned.”
“Well…stay here for dinner,” Tess offered.
“No. I couldn’t impose on you.”
“It would be no imposition. You know I like to cook and if I’m eating alone I don’t get to showcase my culinary genius,” Tess joked. Burke laughed along with her and pretended to weigh it up in his head for a nanosecond.
“Well, I wouldn’t want to deny you bragging rights. We’d love to stay. I insist on helping though. I’m pretty pathetic in the kitchen to be honest but I’m decent on wash up.”
Tess scrunched up her nose and shook her head. “You know my brothers Burke, my father insisted that they do their fair share of household chores, wash up will do fine.”
“Fair play to him for raring you all so well after.. after your mum passed.” Tess shrugged and sat down. “He had no choice, bless him, we’re lucky to have him.”
Burke reached his hand over to Tess and rested his palm on her wrist.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said, I’m sorry Tess. Sorry for all that you lost.” Tess nodded at him speechless that he could capture every emotion in that one sentence. Sorry for all that you lost. Because she had lost, lost out on a mother and an unbroken family. Having to find her father in the milking shed to tell him that you had started your first period was an experience to say the least. Ah he had tried his best, they all had, Louisa, Granny, the brothers. But nothing and no one could replaced her mother. Her eyes drifted to Lily on the couch. Her heart ached for the little girl who had already lost so much.
“Burke, I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t react well. I never meant.” Burke held his hand up cutting her off. “It’s fine Tess. I told you how I felt, you don’t feel the same way. No biggie. Let’s just erase it from the equation. We’re both adults, I’m sure we can remain friends. I want to anyway.” Tess stared at him and dropped her eyes.
“Oh …okay. Right. Of course. Friends. I’ll get dinner on then.” She moved away quickly to stop him seeing the disappointment in her eyes.
They made the dinner together, awkwardly side stepping each other as they talked about anything and everything to fill the silences. Tess watched Burke as he gently woke Lilly from her sleep and cuddled her on the couch for a few minutes. They murmured to each other and Tess felt a wave of love and respect for her friend as she watched him interact with his little girl. He’s such a good dad, such a good man. Her eyes filled with tears and she turned back to the sink saddened by the loss of a chance at real happiness. By rejecting Burkes advance she had drawn a line in the sand and she was the only one who could erase it. Wanting Burke was one thing, but could she take the chance on ruining their friendship if it all went tits up? She depended on him so much, these feelings for him were so confusing and what about Lily? She would spend the rest of her life alone before she’d hurt Lily or Burke. Damn it I need to get it straight in my head.
“You okay Tess?” Burke looked at Tess and wondered what was going through her head. Did she feel uncomfortable with them here in her cottage? Tess looked up to find both Lily and Burke staring at her. Lily was smiling and Burke was looking at her, concern etched on his face.
“Yeah. I’m fine. Come on you guys, let’s eat.” Lily sat beside Tess and started to tuck in to her plate of chicken and chips.
Lily looked up at Tess, her mouth full and her little face happy and so cute.“This is so good Tess. I’m staying over at my friend Emma’s house in one week. We’re going to watch an movie and Emma’s mom said we can toast marshmallows. Did you ever toast marshmallows?”
Tess smiled down at her and nodded chewing rapidly. “I did before with my brothers and my cousins when I was younger. That sounds like fun.”
Lily nodded enthusiastically. “My daddy is practicing a princess braid on my hair, he’s getting very
good at it.” Burke coughed suddenly and Tess’ eyes widened when her mind was thrown back to that night and their first kiss. She took a gulp of water and made a hmmmm noise at Lily.
“Wow that sounds…. that sounds, fantastic. I bet it’ll look really pretty on you.”
“Would you like to come and see it before Emma’s party?” Lily asked wiggling on her chair, her hands animated. Burke interrupted putting his hand on Lily’s arm. “Tess is probably very busy Lil. She might not have time to..”
“No. No I do have time. Of course I do, I would love to see your hair Lily,” replied Tess.
“It’s the night of granny O’Malley’s Christmas party. I could bring you if you like? After you look at Lily’s hair of course.”
Tess looked into Burke’s eyes and smiled warmly at him. “I’d like that,” she said simply.
After they had finished and Lily had spent another half an hour saying goodbye to Duchess and Marie, Tess held the door open for them as they left the cottage.
“Thank you so much Tess. It was lovely to see you again.” Burke stood at the door his large frame taking up most of the frame. I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday evening, is that okay? We can drop Lil off at Emma’s house and go to the party then.” Tess nodded in agreement.
“Perfect. I’ll have the bracelet ready for collection then as well.”
“That’s great.” They stood there as their eyes met and held each other captive. Neither wanting to leave the other.
“Come on daddy.” Lily pulled Burke’s arm and he laughed loudly picking her up and spinning her around.
“Come on Lil, let’s get you to home to bed, see you next week Tess. Tess waved them off and waited as the lights from their car faded into the distance. She stood at the door and watched the stars light up the inky black sky. It smelled like snow, the air was crisp and heavy with it. Tess smiled into the darkness and laughed softly to herself. The one for me was here all along, silently and patiently waiting.I just couldn’t see him.
Winter Wonderland: An O'Malley Christmas story (The O'Malleys Book 2) Page 6