They giggled as they walked down the sidewalk toward the convenience store—everyone but Lindsay. She was so nervous that she spent the entire walk fighting off tears.
“Hey, Lindsay,” Kelly said, “you’ve got to pull it together. If you go in there looking like that, you’ll never be allowed to buy the beer. You need to look confident and carefree—not like you’re facing a firing squad.”
“You’re right,” Lindsay said, laughing. “I can do this. It’ll be fine. I won’t get caught. It’s almost over.…” She recited encouragement to herself, hoping it would boost her confidence.
They arrived at the store much too soon for Lindsay’s comfort, but she did just want to get her task over with and then get back safely to the comfort of Kelly’s house as fast as possible.
The three girls walked over to the large windows where they could peer between the advertisements and signs to watch Lindsay as she carried out her dare. Lindsay walked up to the door, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and opened it. The door swung toward her with the jingling of bells that hung from the top of the door to alert the shopkeeper that a customer was entering the store. He was behind the counter reading a newspaper and looked up for only a second to notice Lindsay. Apparently she didn’t look like much of a threat because he went back to reading his paper.
Lindsay considered heading straight for the refrigerator cases at the back and getting it over with but decided that she would be more believable if she shopped for a few other items first. So she wandered down the aisles and selected a loaf of bread, a pack of gum, a bottle of water, and then went to get her can of beer. She opened the door to the cooler where the single cans were stored, and without checking the price or brand, she just grabbed the closest one to her and let the door swing shut. It bounced off the frame with a bang that startled both Lindsay and the shopkeeper, who put his newspaper down to keep an eye on her.
Remembering that it didn’t matter if the clerk allowed her to buy it or not, Lindsay figured that it was safe to make her purchases. She stood up very straight as she walked to the cash register, hoping that she looked much older than her age. As she approached the clerk, she had a great idea—so she thought. She would tell the cashier that the beer was for her dad. That way he wouldn’t be so hesitant to sell it to her. After she placed her items on the counter, she took out her wallet.
Without even looking at the items he was scanning, the clerk put them into the bag one at a time. Lindsay hoped that he wouldn’t even notice the beer. He picked up the cold can to scan it but looked down first. With a small gasp, he looked from the can of beer to Lindsay and then back to the beer. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lindsay interrupted, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s for my dad. He sent me down here to pick that up for him.” The clerk looked at her for a moment, clearly not sure what he should do.
“Okay, give me just one second. I’m out of the right kind of bags up here. A paper bag won’t work for a cold can. It will just break right through.” He hustled toward the back room.
Lindsay was so relieved. It looked like everything was going smoothly, so she turned to give the girls a thumbs-up. They were still staring through the window, and Kelly was smiling smugly. She was clearly surprised and pleased that Lindsay had carried out her dare.
The shopkeeper slowly walked from the back room with his arms full of bags. Once back at the cash register, he began to stock the bags of all sizes into their respective bins. “Sorry, I just figured that since I was back there, I’d grab some of each size.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” Lindsay said, clearly relaxing. “I’m not in any hurry.”
At that very moment, Lindsay noticed a lot of activity at the front window and turned to see what was happening. A police car pulled into the parking lot with its lights flashing and the siren off. Two policemen exited the car; one went over to where Sam, Kelly, and Macy were standing, and the other one headed for the front door of the store.
“What’s going on?” Lindsay asked the shopkeeper in a panic. Were the police there for her?
“You kids need to be taught a lesson,” he sputtered back at her.
Both policemen had entered the store and were eyeing Lindsay as they asked the clerk what the trouble was. He told them that she had been attempting to purchase alcohol. He had called because he was tired of kids trying to get away with this and knew that he could get into a lot of trouble if he sold it to her.
“You did the absolute right thing by calling us,” one of the policemen assured him. “So, miss, what is your name, and how old are you?”
“M–m–my name is Lindsay,” she stammered. “I’m thirteen.”
“Wow, they just get younger and younger, don’t they?” The policeman asked his partner, who agreed emphatically.
“But, officer,” Lindsay shakily tried to explain, “I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t going to drink the beer. I just had to buy it for a dare. I would never have actually drunk it.”
“It doesn’t matter. You are a minor, and even attempting to purchase alcohol has a penalty of a huge fine and all kinds of other legal problems,” the officer said. If he were trying to scare her, it worked. “This is very serious. I’m going to need to get some information from you.”
The policeman asked some questions that Lindsay answered, but she was having a difficult time focusing on his words. Her thoughts were swimming, and she began to panic. Then she noticed that her friends were being loaded into the back of a squad car by the other policeman.
“Where are you taking my friends?” Lindsay wiped at the streaming tears on her cheeks. She was alone in her trouble. Even Kelly, who had drunk a whole can of beer, had waited outside with the others while Lindsay carried out her dare alone, so she had escaped close scrutiny from the police.
“They are being taken home. The officer will speak to their parents, but they aren’t in any trouble—other than whatever their parents deem appropriate for them being out so late, of course. You, on the other hand, will be accompanying me to the station.”
Lindsay began to weep, her shoulders shaking under the enormity of the situation. How could she have gotten herself into this mess? What was she thinking? Suddenly the words hit her: “Sin creeps in silently, slowly.…”
The officer led her to the black-and-white squad car and helped her into the backseat. Mercifully he chose not to use handcuffs, although he could have, he told her. She endured the short ride to the police station in silence, sure that her parents would be there waiting for her when she arrived. Pulling into the parking lot, however, Lindsay didn’t see their car. On one hand, she was relieved because the thought of facing them was just too much for her to bear. But on the other hand, she felt so alone and vulnerable walking into the police station led by one policeman and followed by another. She was under arrest, and no amount of wishing or begging was going to make this go away.
Lindsay was led to a seat in a small room where a policewoman was sitting at a desk, ready to take down her information. “Lindsay, I’m not going to question you about the crime until your parents are here, but I do need to get some information from you and process you before they will be allowed in.”
She began to ask Lindsay questions like her name, her parents’ names, her address, where she went to school, how old she was, and how many siblings she had.
The questions continued for a long time with no thought or concern for the tears falling down her face. It wouldn’t have mattered, anyway; there was no way she could have controlled her tears. She answered the questions as best she could, but mostly her thoughts were consumed with dread over the moment when her parents would arrive. She wanted them to be there to comfort her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of seeing their disappointment and anger.
She was taken back to her seat and told that Officer Marshall was talking with her parents and would bring them in to see her in a moment. Lindsay’s heart sank at the very thought of facing them. She could never have imagined how painful regret wou
ld be. It was like a knife driving through her heart. What she wouldn’t give to go back and do the whole thing all over again. She would have made a far different choice. But it was too late.
She heard a door open and then slam shut, the lock sliding into place. Lindsay listened with dread to the sound of hollow footsteps on the tile floor until they stopped at the doorway to her holding room. She looked up and, at that moment, felt the agony that was visible on her mother’s swollen, tear-streaked face. She looked as though a loved one had died—in some ways, one had. Her dad was stone-faced, emotionless, in shock. He clearly didn’t know how to react or what to do.
“Should we have a lawyer here?” he asked Officer Marshall.
The officer informed her parents that no questioning had taken place yet, so they were free to call an attorney if they wished. But, the officer also promised, if they began the questioning process without the attorney, they could stop at any time should they decide to call one. He assured them that he just wanted to sort out the details and then they could be on their way.
“Well, let’s just get to the bottom of this thing, then,” Lindsay’s dad said quietly, resigned to the fact that this was not going to be enjoyable for any of them.
“Lindsay, I’m going to turn on this tape recorder now. It just saves me from having to write a lot of notes.” When Lindsay nodded, the officer continued. “Let’s just make this a bit easier on all of us. Rather than me peppering you with all sorts of questions, why don’t you just tell us what happened?”
Lindsay, grateful to be able to tell her side of the story, started at the very beginning, with the first sleepover and the first time they played Truth or Dare. When she finished her story, her mom had finally stopped crying and was able to speak. “Lindsay, what you’ve done is very wrong. Aside from the many, many ways that you broke our rules and the rules at the Garretts’ home, didn’t you realize that attempting to buy alcohol was illegal?”
“No, Mom, I had no idea. I knew it was illegal to drink it. But I never knew it was illegal to even buy it. I told the shopkeeper that my dad had sent me to the store for it, so I thought he would sell it to me since it wasn’t for me.”
“So on top of all of the rules and laws you broke, you lied and risked your father’s reputation. You know how we feel about alcohol. To think that your dad would drink that beer, let alone send you to the store to buy it—it’s awful.” Her head in her hands, she continued. “Oh, Lindsay, what I wouldn’t give to have just listened to you and kept you home from that sleepover.”
“So what happens now?” Lindsay’s dad asked Officer Marshall.
“Lindsay will be given a court date that I will get for you before you leave. The judge will almost certainly require that she attend an alcohol-awareness class. I would recommend that Lindsay go ahead and do that now, before court. It will show the judge that she is concerned about what has happened and is becoming educated in the dangers and laws about alcohol. It can’t hurt her, but it sure could help things. I can give you information about local groups who offer those classes before you leave tonight.”
The officer left them to sit alone in the room while he gathered the information that he had offered to them. No one said a word in that small room. In the deafening silence, Lindsay felt as though the walls were closing in on her. All she wanted was for her mom to take her in her arms and hold her, promising that everything would be just fine—but Lindsay knew that she couldn’t do that yet. So, she remained very alone in her regret and her fear.
The officer returned, had each of them sign a few papers, and gave them copies of everything they signed, as well as instructions for her court appearance—which was a full ninety days away Lindsay sighed. The uncertainty of this would be hanging over her head for at least that long.
The Martins were escorted to the door, and they left the station. At the car, Lindsay began to climb into the backseat and realized that she would never be able to get into the backseat of a car without remembering how it felt to be a common criminal on her way to jail. Nothing would ever be the same for Lindsay—or for any of them.
Chapter 10
CONSEQUENCES
The weeks that followed her arrest were even more difficult than Lindsay had imagined they could be. Not only had she been forced to face her parents’ disappointment, but she’d also been the subject of whispers and secret conversations everywhere she went. At church, the youth council had a meeting about her and she was asked to step down from her new student-leader position in the youth group. At school, her teachers and guidance counselors no longer saw her as an exemplary student; she had become an example of a bad seed. In an attempt to make an example of her, she had even been suspended for three days. It seemed unfair that she was the only one who got suspended, but Lindsay didn’t wish trouble on her friends—even though they did seem to be avoiding her.
She lived in constant fear and dread of the court date looming in the distance. Would she really have to spend time in jail or a juvenile facility? People told her that there was no way that it could happen for her first offense and for something so minor. But others, including her attorney, told her that her particular judge, rather than letting kids off easy, sometimes liked to make examples of young people as a deterrent for other kids.
She also had to attend the drug and alcohol meetings that Officer Marshall had recommended. Of all her punishments, those meetings were by far the worst. She sat there, twice each week, in the presence of adults who had real problems with drugs and alcohol—true addicts. Some of them were there as part of a probation deal, others were court ordered, and some were there voluntarily. But none of them were there as a thirteen-year-old girl who had tried to buy a beer, having never actually tasted alcohol in her life. She felt so conspicuously out of place, sure that no one understood why she was there at all.
Her parents agreed that it was a good idea for her to attend the meetings because she could see firsthand how poor decisions caused big problems for people. She had to watch a video about people whose children were killed by drunk drivers. She learned about diseases and other horrible things that happened to drug users. It was a dark and very real glimpse at a world that Lindsay had never expected to see.
But far, far worse than any punishment or any meeting that she had to attend, Lindsay suffered under the crushing weight of her parents’ disappointment. Every time she looked at them, she saw sadness in their eyes. She longed for the lighthearted days when happiness and trust filled her home. Lindsay knew that her parents blamed themselves, which made it even harder for her. She wished that it could be like when she was a little girl and did something wrong. The punishment was swift and just and then over. She wondered if the consequences of this mistake would ever end.
“Mom… “ Lindsay hesitated as she walked into the family room where her mom was sitting and staring at a book whose pages she hadn’t turned in over an hour.
“Yes, Lindsay, what is it?” her mom gazed up at her and tried to smile, but she still looked tired and sad.
Lindsay couldn’t figure out what to say to get things back to the way they had been before. “Oh, nothing, Mom. Would you like for me to start dinner?”
“That would be nice, Lindsay. There’s a box of frozen fried chicken in the freezer. You can just put that in the oven and make some macaroni and cheese. It’ll be good to sit down and talk as a family over dinner.”
Lindsay’s heart sank. By talk, she knew that her mother meant Lindsay would have to listen to her parents tell her once again just how disappointed they were and how she would have to work hard to regain their trust.
She wanted to run, to hide, to pretend that everything was the same as it had been before the stupid dare. Instead she trudged into the kitchen to start dinner.
A month had gone by since that fateful night. Lindsay couldn’t bear her parents’ looks of disappointment any longer. Every time she was with them, she felt her guilt weighing heavily on her. She didn’t want to carry it anymore, but
she wasn’t sure how to get rid of it. Lindsay felt like her parents only thought she was sorry because she had been caught. She just wasn’t sure how to get them to see how truly sorry she was for what she did so that they would start believing in her again.
Then, Saturday afternoon during her quiet time, she read Proverbs 28:13: “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
That’s it! Lindsay had told her parents what she’d done, but she’d never confessed the sin behind it. She closed her Bible and stood up with purpose, resolved to finally put this to rest. Finding her mom upstairs folding laundry and her dad cleaning out the garage, Lindsay knew it was time to bring them together for a talk.
“Mom?” Lindsay called up the stairs.
“What, Lindsay?” Her mom called back.
“Can you come down here for a minute? I want to talk to you and Dad.”
“I’ll be right down.”
When Lindsay heard that, she went to the garage door so she could call for her dad only to see that he was already on his way back into the house. “Oh good. I was just coming to get you. I’d like to talk to you and Mom, if you don’t mind.”
“Nothing has happened, has it?” Mr. Martin asked with a panicked tone.
“No, no, nothing like that. Just have a seat. Mom is on her way down.”
When both of her parents were seated on the couch and looking at her with questioning eyes, Lindsay sat down in the chair opposite them but then jumped up again, nervous about how to say what she needed to say.
“Mom and Dad, I’ve asked for this opportunity to talk to you for several reasons. Mainly I want to tell you how sorry I am. I know I’ve said it before, but this is different. I’m not just sorry that I made a bad decision or that I got caught or even that I’m being punished—I deserve that, I know. I’m also just so very sorry because what I did wasn’t just wrong; it was a sin.” Lindsay sounded excited at the announcement of her realization.
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