Ripple: A Novel

by Cedergreen, L. D.

  She looked beautiful. Her thick curls were pulled tight into a neat bun; her bright pink sequined costume shimmered in the theater lights; her petite form moved with such grace as she twirled and pliéed. Her face lit up when she noticed me walking toward the stage, and I acknowledged her with a small wave as I took my seat next to Heather. Heather patted my leg as I set my handbag at my feet, her eyes not leaving Brooklyn’s performance. Charles was beaming behind the small video camera as he proudly watched his daughter. He winked at me and returned his gaze to the dancers. Kyle sat next to him, playing a small handheld video game, clearly bored with the ballet recital. My eyes quickly returned to the performance.

  Brooklyn looked so grown-up dancing on the stage, and I was so proud of her. My cheeks were aching from the huge grin stretched across my face. The music ended, and the eight identically dressed girls bowed as we clapped for them. They left the stage, and a new group of ballerinas took their place. The music was live, and, as it moved into the next piece, I noted how beautiful it was. Off to the side of the stage a small orchestra was assembled around a black grand piano. It was hard to see, as it was obviously not intended to be the main attraction but only an accompaniment to the dancers.

  Heather leaned over to whisper to me now that Brooklyn was no longer on stage. “How was your flight?”

  “Long. I couldn’t get here fast enough.”

  “Brooklyn was so excited that you were going to be here.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it. I’m honored that she invited me,” I whispered with my hand over my heart, emphasizing what her invitation meant to me.

  The audience was applauding once again, and we directed our attention again to the front of the auditorium. Brooklyn was back on stage a moment later with a group of girls, dressed in a completely new black ensemble. With her hair pulled back and the small trace of makeup that she was wearing for her performance, her blue eyes stood out, shimmering under the lights. Those eyes. Adam’s eyes.

  His face instantly filled my mind as I watched Brooklyn dance with perfect poise. I had not heard from him for over a month—since the last time I was here in Bellingham. I had returned to Los Angeles and poured myself into work, spending endless hours reading X-rays and assisting with special procedures, loving my new rotation. I had tried, unsuccessfully, to push my recent memories of Adam to the back of my mind.

  I had spent countless hours talking to Brooklyn on the phone, each of us taking turns asking questions as we got to know each other. Most of her questions had been easy to answer, but occasionally she had asked the hard ones, bringing me back to that year when I was pregnant with her. I had tried to answer her as honestly as I could, keeping in mind that she was only ten. I had enjoyed every minute of our conversations, leaving me a little sad when it was time to hang up. Heather and I had talked quite often as well. I had so much respect for her as a mother and as a friend.

  The recital went on for several more group performances, and then a young girl took the stage for a solo performance. Heather leaned in once again and whispered, “Brooklyn has a solo next.”

  I instantly felt nervous for her, and, by the tapping of Heather’s foot, I knew that she felt the same. Applause filled the auditorium as the young girl bowed and left the stage. The lights dimmed, and I watched Brooklyn confidently walk to the center of the stage and lock herself in a pose, waiting for the music to start. I heard Heather suck in a breath next to me as she raised her hands to her mouth in anticipation for Brooklyn’s performance.

  The piano started playing a familiar melody, and I suddenly recognized it as “Clair de Lune.” The piano played alone and intensely as Brooklyn danced elegantly to the music against a backdrop of a calm lake glowing in moonlight. She was stunning in a midnight-blue costume embellished with sparkling glitter as she twirled in a spotlight that mimicked the moon behind her. She took my breath away, and I felt tears sting my eyes.

  The piano ended its haunting melody, and Brooklyn held her pose until the lights came back on. The audience stood, giving her a standing ovation. She bowed and then extended her arms toward the piano. The pianist stood and walked up the few stairs to the stage as Brooklyn ran toward him.

  I gasped, my hand gripping my chest as I realized that it was Adam. He was wearing a dark suit, looking just as confident as his daughter as he marched toward her. He kneeled down to embrace Brooklyn, pride gleaming from his eyes as he held her. I stood still, overcome with emotion at the sight of the two of them on stage sharing such an intimate moment, as if the auditorium wasn’t filled to the brim with spectators. I was moved beyond words, tears spilling down my cheeks.

  I felt Heather’s arm around my shoulders as she whispered in my ear. “I hope that you don’t mind. I may have meddled just a little bit.”

  I looked at her, uncertain of her meaning. She had tears in her own eyes from Brooklyn’s engaging performance. “Meddled? What do you mean?”

  She just shrugged with a smile and clapped her hands together as the entire cast of dancers took to the stage for their standing ovation.

  Adam was walking off the stage at this point, heading straight for me. He approached me, and, before I could say anything, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him as we made our way toward the lobby. People seated near the center aisle were glancing curiously in our direction. Once we reached a quiet corner of the lobby, Adam stopped to face me.

  “Adam, what are...?”

  He pulled me against him as he leaned down to kiss me. I lost all train of thought as I melted into him, feeling his heart beat in time with my own. My senses caught up with me, and I pushed him back, my hands against his chest. “Adam, stop. I can’t keep doing this.”

  He put his hands on mine, still resting on his chest, an amused expression on his face. “Doing what, Kendi?” he asked.

  “This.” After freeing one hand from his grasp, I pointed to him, to me.

  “Why, Kendi? Why can’t you keep doing this?”

  Confused by the absurdity of his questions, I answered him as bluntly as I could. “Because it’s killing me, Adam. This back and forth.”

  “Why is it killing you, Kendi?”

  I was becoming infuriated by the minute. What kind of game was he playing? “Because it is,” I said a little louder than I meant to, trying to push away from him. He held my hands tighter against his chest.

  “Why?” he asked again, still with an amused expression but with more passion in his voice.

  “Adam. Just...because. Let me go.” I was angry. My cheeks were hot, tears stinging my eyes. And he just kept pressing.

  “Tell me why this is killing you?” he asked earnestly, his face inches from mine despite my best attempt to put space between us.

  “Because I love you, dammit! Is that what you want to hear?” I shouted, immediately shocked by my admission. Before I could react, his mouth was pressed against mine. I surrendered to his warm lips, passion flooding my heart from the conflicting anger and love that I felt in that moment.

  Pulling back just enough to look into my eyes, Adam whispered, “That is exactly what I wanted to hear.”

  I was flustered. “Adam, what are you doing here, and what is this all about? You made your feelings perfectly clear the last time I saw you.”

  “Did I? Because I think that I was anything but clear.”

  “I’m so confused right now,” I admitted.

  “Kendi, the last time I saw you, I was overwhelmed with my feelings for you. I had no idea how you felt about me. I thought that you were in love with what’s-his-name. And you had this new life at the beach and your residency...everything that you have always wanted. I didn’t want to get in the way of that. It killed me to leave you that night, but I thought that it was for the best...for you.”

  “So what changed?”

  “Heather told me that you weren’t in a relationship anymore and that you had told her that you loved me. The next thing I knew, the pianist for the recital broke her leg, and Heather was begging
me to fill in. I haven’t been able to think about anything but you since that night, and I knew that I had to come.”

  I searched his eyes for more, wondering what it was that he was trying to tell me. He brought his hand to my face, looking intently into my eyes. “Just so we’re clear. I love you, Kendi. I’ve loved you all this time, I’ve never stopped loving you, and I will always love you.”

  People were starting to spill into the lobby from the auditorium, but Adam and I stood in the corner as if we were the only two people in the world.

  “I love you too, Adam.”

  He wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up as he spun me around. When he stopped, I slowly slid down his body until our lips met. Still holding me inches from the floor, he kissed me gently through the smile splayed on his lips. Emotions washed over me as images of each moment that we had shared, each moment of our long and convoluted past, played through my mind in rapid sequence—bringing us to this moment.

  I wasn’t sure where we went from here, but I wasn’t letting anything stand in our way again. I ran my hands through his thick curls, pulling him closer to me, knowing without a doubt that he was the last man I was ever going to kiss.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank my amazing husband, Eric, for proving to me every day that fairytale endings really do exist, for being the reason I wake up each day and pinch myself to make sure that I am not dreaming and really am this happy, and for showing me that although marriage can be tough, love is easy. Thank you for your unending love and support on this journey and for picking up the slack with a smile while I buried my head in my laptop breathing life into this story. I couldn’t have done it without you!

  To my two wonderful and amazing kiddos, for your patience and love while Mommy was busy “working”. Everything I do is always for you in the end. You are my world!

  To my Mom, Diane, and sister, Christy, thank you for loving this story as much as I do!

  Your encouragement kept me going-thank you for believing in me! I love you both! My Dad, Larry, for always loving me like your own. Your unconditional love and constant support has been a precious gift throughout my life! To my brother, Alan, I love you and feel so blessed to have you in my life!

  To my dear friend, Tabatha Harris, thank you for staying up late many nights to read this story as I wrote it and for the long texts full of positive feedback at midnight no less! It was so great to have someone to talk to about these characters that were consuming my every thought!

  To all my beta readers: Jen Atler-Ammazzalorso, Jen McCloskey, Molly Ursini, Debbie Bayley, and Lindsey Hille. Your feedback was essential and gave me the confidence to put it out there for others to read! Thank you for taking the time to read this book with an open mind!

  And I can’t leave out the girls ~ you know who you are ~ my dearest friends that I couldn’t imagine my life without, the ones who breathe life into my soul each and every day and make every step of the way more bearable and a helluva lot more fun!

  Lastly, I would like to thank every single life experience that I have had and all the amazing people that I have encountered along the way... as a writer I can’t help but draw from it all!

  If you enjoyed this book please share and review it on amazon.com or GoodReads.com.

  Look me up on facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorL.D.Cedergreen. I would love to hear your feedback!

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Home

  The Beginning

  Firsts

  Love

  Reality

  Crash

  Loss

  Life

  Bliss

  Lies

  Run

  Better Days

  Mending Fences

  Falling

  Good-byes

  Stay

  Truth or Dare

  Denial

  Exposed

  The Plan

  Choices

  Questions

  Rally

  Vacant

  Regrets

  Letters

  All This Time

  Arms Wide Open

  Letting Go

  Still Waters

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments