Desperado

by Diana Palmer

  “I love looking at you,” he whispered, his eyes smoldering as he watched her body, delighting in its slender beauty. Her breasts were firm and pert, their crowns red and hard. Her legs were spreading wide as she watched his face and lifted to the touch of his hand. “Your breasts are beautiful, especially like this, with your nipples hard and red as wine.”

  She was barely hearing him. Her eyes were fixed, her body shivering now with each touch, her arms beside her head as she watched him blankly and sobbed, praying that he wasn’t going to stop.

  “You won’t…stop?” she whispered helplessly.

  He shook his head slowly.

  Her hips lifted to him. It was incredible that she could lie here, nude, letting him make love to her body, and not feel ashamed.

  His touch became insistent. “It excites me when you whimper like that,” he said gruffly. “Do you like it?”

  “It’s…so…good!” she bit off.

  “It gets even better.” He didn’t stop touching her, but he did move, so that his body was poised over hers, his powerful legs pushing hers even wider apart. He eased down, his hips hovering while he increased the pressure and the rhythm of his hand on her.

  She cried out softly, biting her lip as the pleasure came in sudden great waves.

  “Yes,” he said roughly. “Yes. I’m going to push you right over the edge now. Don’t think, just let me have your body. Let me have all of you. Let me go into you, Maggie…!”

  She stiffened suddenly under a crashing tidal wave of pleasure that reached a frightening level of pleasure, and yet there was still something more to attain! Her back arched as she looked into his eyes, drawing her knees up on either side of her body to coax him down to her as the glory of physical ecstasy convulsed her.

  “God…!” he groaned helplessly, and his hips thrust down as his hand lifted to her waist.

  He went into her body with a violent motion, aware that she was more than ready to accept him, to accommodate him, to swallow him up whole. He looked straight into her dilating eyes as he thrust fiercely into her prone body.

  “Watch me,” he choked. “I’ll let you see me. I’ll let you have me…!”

  His voice broke on the explosive climax that stiffened him violently above her. His eyes were glazed. His breathing seemed to have stopped. His teeth clenched and he shuddered again and again and again.

  “Oh…God…it’s…like…dying!” he cried out. “Maggie…Maggie, darling…!”

  His eyes closed and he convulsed so harshly that she was actually afraid for him. She reached around his hips with her long, elegant legs, surprised to find that the gentle shifting of her body made the convulsions worse. His fists clenched beside her head. He sobbed harshly, rhythmically, like the contractions of his powerful body.

  “Cord?” she whispered, shivering in the aftermath of her own exquisite climax.

  “Can’t…stop,” he gasped. “Can’t…stop!”

  “My darling,” she whispered, kissing him everywhere she could reach, comforting him as he exploded in her arms. She heard his harsh breathing at her ear as he lay completely on her, his hips still moving convulsively. She felt him inside her, hard and warm and big, velvety soft over the hardness. She closed her eyes to savor the delight. She felt him in her body, felt the release that seemed to go on forever, and she sighed, cuddling him. She’d never felt so close to anyone, ever.

  “Maggie,” he groaned hoarsely. His hands went under her back as his mouth searched for hers. He kissed her fiercely, groaning helplessly into her open mouth.

  She cradled him, smiling under his devouring kisses as he slowly, slowly, began to relax, shivering now in the aftermath of physical delight.

  Her hands smoothed over his dark hair tenderly. They’d made love. She could give herself, without fear or shame. She could be a whole woman. She’d never thought it would happen for her, not like this, never with Cord.

  His big hands smoothed the length of her, from her breasts to her hips, while his lips began to search tenderly over her face. He smiled. He laughed mysteriously.

  “What’s funny?” she asked drowsily.

  He kissed her softly. “I’ll tell you one day.” He started to lift away and her arms caught him, protesting.

  He looked down at her with breathless tenderness, his black hair damp with sweat as he studied her flushed face. Impulsively he moved his hips and felt her body open to him. He withdrew a heartbeat and then moved down again. She moved with him, her legs brushing his as she felt the pleasure begin all over. She lifted her hips, grinding them into his, as her teeth clenched. “Oh, dear Lord,” she choked. “Cord!”

  He moved then, fiercely, dragging his hips from side to side, watching her eyes widen with every hard brush. His face tautened with desire.

  “I’m going to have you again,” he said huskily. “Feel me swell, baby. Feel me deep in your body!” He groaned and his eyes closed as the fierce arousal burst through him and made him helpless to stop.

  “I want you,” she whispered blindly. “I want to feel you…explode…in me!”

  He cried out, the words bringing a sudden, unexpected climax that wrapped the two of them in a hot, helpless tangle of movement.

  “Cord,” she whispered, lifting her mouth to his ear. “Cord…make me…have a baby!”

  The words deepened the climax into unexplored territory. He felt his body whip helplessly above hers.

  She watched him, her own excitement blazing up in the hot silence of flesh brushing flesh, the sound of the sheet brushing the mattress under them unexpectedly loud as they strained together in a frenzy of motion.

  She felt herself throbbing, and then her own body matched the racking convulsions she felt in him. The whole world seemed to blur and fly away as the pleasure throbbed in her lower belly and suddenly burst. She felt the heat of it surge through her in waves of unbearable pleasure…

  She heard Cord’s strained breathing above her, felt the beloved weight of his powerful body as he shivered in the aftermath.

  His arms cradled her as he rolled over onto his side, one long leg thrown over her hips.

  “That was a first,” he whispered, his voice deep with exhaustion.

  “Hmmm?” she murmured, still dazed.

  He kissed her eyes. “Do you know what an orgasm is?”

  “No, but I think I just had one,” she whispered back with a soft, secret laugh.

  “I’ve never had an experience like this with anyone else.”

  Her leg curled into his. “Honest?”

  “Honest.” He kissed her soft mouth. “You whispered for me to make you pregnant,” he breathed into her open lips.

  She flushed, embarrassed.

  He felt the awkward movement of her body and lifted his head to look into her uncertain eyes.

  “It’s too late now for you to unwhisper it,” he pointed out. He pursed his lips and looked rakish. “I forget how many sperm a man’s body can produce, but I think I just set a world’s record.”

  She flushed, but she smiled, too.

  “What the hell,” he murmured drowsily. “The world won’t end if you get pregnant.”

  “You shouldn’t worry,” she began. “It would be a long shot…”

  He looked into her eyes curiously. “I’m not worried, Maggie,” he said gently.

  She grimaced. “You have a lifestyle…”

  He kissed her eyelids closed. “We won’t solve all the problems tonight. Let’s face one problem at a time. Gruber is our priority.”

  “Gruber. I forgot.”

  He cocked an eyebrow and grinned. “Did you?”

  “Don’t get conceited,” she chided. “Probably there are at least ten other extraordinary lovers in the world who could pleasure me almost to unconsciousness.”

  “Don’t go looking for any of them,” he said darkly.

  She sighed and looked down between their bodies. “I didn’t expect it to feel like that,” she confessed.

  He pulled slowly away from h
er, watching her as she saw their bodies separate. She flushed a little, but she didn’t look away. He followed her gaze and smiled slowly.

  “Think of it as sex education,” he teased.

  She lifted her eyes to his face. “It’s so funny,” she tried to explain. “I know all about it, but I know nothing. I knew nothing, until tonight. I thought…” She hesitated. “It isn’t always like that, is it?”

  “Not for me, no,” he said quietly. “I’ve never had sex this good.”

  She frowned. “Was it just sex?”

  He scowled thoughtfully and traced a pattern over her relaxed breasts. “It was lovemaking,” he said quietly, “in the purest sense.” He searched her eyes relentlessly. “I thought about making you pregnant, even before you whispered to me. It aroused me. It really aroused me. I’m not usually quite that…potent.”

  Her face relaxed as she studied his lean face. He seemed confused, uncertain. “It’s been a long time for you, hasn’t it?” she asked.

  His eyes shot back to hers. “You think abstinence could produce an experience like this?”

  She sighed. “I don’t know. Could it?”

  He didn’t speak. With a long sigh, he lifted his legs off the bed and searched on the carpet for his towel and her gown and briefs. He tossed them to her without quite meeting her eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked gently.

  He wrapped the towel around his hips. “I didn’t mean to do this,” he said, turning to stare at her with troubled eyes. “I genuinely came in to comfort you. After what I learned, about our baby,” he added slowly, “I wouldn’t have taken advantage of a nightmare to make you give yourself to me.”

  She held the nightgown to her breasts and watched him. “I know that.”

  He sighed. “Maggie, you thought I’d found out something else, something besides the baby, didn’t you?” he asked out of the blue. His eyes narrowed as she stiffened. “What other secret are you keeping?”

  11

  Maggie held her breath while Cord studied her reactions to that bombshell of a question.

  “After what just happened between us,” he said persistently, “there shouldn’t be room for a single secret.”

  She still looked worried. She wanted to trust him, but it was more frightening now to have him know about her past, after the tenderness they’d shared. It would make her…dirty, somehow.

  He could see the torment in her face, and he backed down. He’d ferreted out the miscarriage. With time, he could find out the rest. It must be something terrible, for her to react like this.

  “Here.” He coaxed her into lifting her arms, and he slid the gown over her head. “Want a shower?” he asked with a slow smile. “We could have one together.”

  “Cousin Jorge…” she began.

  “…is a man,” he said complacently. “And he knows what it’s like to be at the mercy of desire.”

  “So do you,” she remarked, and looked uneasy.

  He searched her troubled eyes. He traced her soft lower lip with a lazy forefinger. “When I was younger, before I married Patricia, I had my share of adventures with willing women,” he said bluntly. “But I grew out of it. I don’t have the same curiosity, and even if I did, I wouldn’t use you to satisfy it. Okay?”

  She bit her lower lip, feeling sad and not understanding why. “I don’t…know a lot about this, on a personal level,” she said, trying to make herself clear without resorting to the truth. “Tonight was sort of a first for me.”

  “It was for me, too,” he replied quietly. “I’ve never felt anything like it. I want to be tender with you. I want to listen and touch and taste, even when it gets violent.” His eyes shimmered with dark warmth. “What happened isn’t supposed to be possible. A man spends himself and then it takes time, a lot of time usually, before he’s even capable again. I managed it twice without stopping to breathe.”

  Her face brightened. “Didn’t you, before?” She wanted to know.

  “Hell!” He laughed, genuinely, at her mischievous expression. “No, I didn’t, before,” he confessed. “Satisfied?”

  She stretched slowly, watching his eyes follow the movement of her body. “Very,” she said huskily.

  He drew in a long breath and got to his feet, wrapping the towel back around his lean hips. “I’m leaving,” he informed her. “Even if you’re not sore after that, I am. I want a shower and a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I have to age forty years and acquire a stoop.”

  She laughed delightedly. “I need a trench coat and a gun,” she pointed out. “I’ll ride shotgun for you!”

  He looked down at her, drinking in her radiant face, the excitement mingled with tenderness in her green eyes. “You take my breath away,” he said huskily.

  The words confused her. She didn’t understand.

  He laughed at his own sense of wonder. He’d known Maggie for so many years, yet until tonight, he’d known nothing so little about her. They’d created a child together, lost it, and he’d never known. Now that he did, it…involved them, as they’d never been involved before. All the grief and pain of their lives had contrived to make them closer than ever. Perhaps that was what relationships grew out of, he thought while he studied her, they grew out of hardship and pain, making two people cling to each other and share their problems.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked.

  “That you and I are closer than most people,” he said softly. “And I don’t mean just in bed.” One broad shoulder lifted. “We’ve shared some of the most painful episodes of our lives with each other. There’s a bond. Until I knew about the baby, I never really faced it.”

  Her eyes were sad. “I should have told you.”

  He nodded. “You should have, but I certainly understand why you couldn’t. Nobody’s to blame for that except me. I pushed you away out of shame and self-disgust.” He sighed gently. “I’ll never do that again,” he added huskily. “And if you get pregnant from what we just did, you won’t be able to hide it from me. I won’t let you.”

  She smiled faintly. “I might never be able to get pregnant again,” she said sadly.

  He lifted an eyebrow haughtily. “Are you paying attention? I have industrial-strength sperm. In the history of the planet, there was never a man more inspired to produce them than I was tonight. And you think you can’t get pregnant? Ha!”

  She laughed with pure delight. His eyes were twinkling. She liked the way they crinkled at the corners when he smiled.

  He bent and kissed her gently. “I’m going to bed. You should, too. We’ve got a long few days ahead of us.”

  “I know.” She watched him like a bird, her head turned to one side, her eyes bright and curious.

  “Something bothering you?” he asked, because he didn’t understand her rapt regard.

  She moved her shoulders and smiled shyly. “No.”

  He lifted his chin. “Don’t hand me that,” he said, reading through the subterfuge. “Spill it.”

  She toyed with her gown and didn’t look straight at him. “Lassiter said he’d give me a job if I wanted it.”

  There was a long, heavy pause. She didn’t dare look up. She was fishing.

  Finally he sighed. “Okay,” he replied. “When this is over, and I’ve taught you the ropes, if you have to find out about detective work, he’s a good place to start. But only until the kids come along,” he added firmly, bringing her shocked eyes to his lean, solemn face. “While they’re young, they’ll need you at home, along with me. We’ll give them a solid foundation, and then when they’re in school, you can pick up your job again.”

  Her eyes were full of wonder. He was talking about a shared future. He never had, before.

  “Don’t look at me as if the whole thing is my responsibility,” he chided. “You were the one screaming, ‘Make me pregnant!’”

  She flushed and burst out laughing. “You stop that!”

  He grinned. “I like kids. They can all learn to be cowboys.” He frowned thoughtfull
y. “But we won’t let them learn about wires and listening devices,” he added, remembering what Lassiter had told him about his own children. “Lassiter made a real mistake there, with his kids. We aren’t going to repeat his mistakes.”

  She grinned back. It was all a pipe dream, of course. She couldn’t get pregnant and he wouldn’t settle down. They were daydreaming out loud. But it was such a wonderful picture that she didn’t say a word in protest. Living with Cord, having his children, sharing his life…that was real fantasy. And even if she bought into it, there was still her past, the sordid horrible past that would destroy what was left of her life. Once he knew, he’d never want to touch her again.

  The thought tortured her, but she kept smiling. She didn’t let him see that she knew it was an impossible dream. He didn’t know about her past, and he couldn’t find out. Those records were sealed. Even if he had pass codes, they wouldn’t do him any good. Stillwell had documents and videotape, but he wasn’t likely to share those unless he had to. Maggie was going to make sure he didn’t get the opportunity. If she had to, she’d go after Stillwell herself, once Cord taught her the ropes of this spy game.

  “You look like you’re plotting something,” he said.

  She chuckled. “I am.”

  He pursed his lips. “What a delicious thought. I like pink, if you’re concocting seduction plans.”

  “I like pink myself. Wait and see.”

  He sighed and smiled ruefully. “Considering my present state, and yours, I’ll have to. Sleep well, sweetheart.”

  “You, too,” she replied in the same soft tone he’d used.

  He left, reluctantly.

  She got into the shower and put on a fresh gown, pausing to strip the bed and remake it. She worried that Jorge’s maid might discover that hanky-panky was going on in the bedroom, but when she thought about the sheer delight of Cord’s lovemaking, she couldn’t manage to be ashamed of it. In all her life, there had only ever been Cord. Whatever happened now, she had one perfect night to tuck in with her memories.