A Bride Worth Billions
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Often, negative emotions are experienced but never reflected upon, allowing the negative emotions of anger, sadness, and fear to linger and consume one’s being. Admittedly, experiencing these negative emotions cannot be avoided and truly exists. Understanding the whys of these emotions, however, could reduce its dominance and be replaced by positive emotions of hope, positive anticipation, and expectations.
In reflecting, one could ask the following questions to guide to realization and understanding:
Do experienced emotions flow one after another with each moment of situational change?
Are these emotions felt physically such is in the chest or in the stomach?
Do these emotions show in the face or in gestures eliciting specific responses from others?
Are emotions so intense that it captures both self and other's attention?
Are these emotions enter into the awareness of self and do they factor into decisions and actions made?
Knowing the answers to these questions would reconnect one to the self and lead to emotional health and emotional intelligence. One must therefore reconnect with one's core emotions, accept them, and be comfortable with them.
5. More Keys To Developing Emotional Intelligence
There are many ways in communicating with others. Communication may either be verbal or nonverbal. And of the two, the nonverbal could be a better give away of what the other is trying to say. A good understanding of nonverbal cues could be more productive than the verbal communication.
Nonverbal cues. Nonverbal cue is the third skill in developing emotional intelligence. It needs the skill of interpreting nonverbal cues and gestures as these are emotionally driven. Reading nonverbal cues needs a skill which when successfully mastered can be productive. Though often, reading nonverbal cues escapes most in a relationship, taking the other for granted.
Nonverbal cues are givens which seem to beg the question “Are you even listening?” or “Are you into me?” People convey as well as receive nonverbal cues which may be either positive, such as a sense of interest, trust, excitement as seen from the way one listens, look, move, and react. Or these nonverbal cues conveyed and received could be negative emotions such as fear, confusion, distrust, disbelief, and disinterest.
To develop the skill of reading nonverbal cues, one should pay attention to the following:
Eye contact
Facial expression
Tone of voice
Posture and gesture
Touch
Timing and space
Humor and play in challenges. Humor, laughter and play counter the effects of negative emotions and are natural pills to cure life's difficulties and challenges. They are natural remedies that lighten the burdens and help put things and situations in its proper perspective.
Humor, laughter, and play are the fourth skill that facilitates keeping emotions balanced and leads to the further development of emotional intelligence.
One should not downplay the positive effects of humor, laughter, and play in our day-to-day situations. To be able to laugh in the midst of a difficult and strenuous situation is heroic, much like a soldier in the battlefield who finds humor in the midst of battle.
Develop and learn the skill to see humor in situations as this would help greatly in:
Taking hardships in stride. Humor, laughter and play enable one to see the situation in a different perspective and surpass any annoyances, irritants, setbacks encountered.
Smoothing over differences. Humor and play often bring with them the gift of shifting or avoiding blunders turning it into just another moment one can do without. With it, what could have been a catastrophe in a relationship could become a learning experience that both can benefit from
Relaxing and energizing self. This is like recharging batteries, say in a flashlight, where a recharged flashlight produces more light. The same is true in a playful communication where it reduces fatigue and lightens tight body muscles brought upon by tension.
Becoming more creative. When one is relaxed and free of disturbing thoughts and emotions, the self is prepped to be creative and see things in a new perspective. Being creative is a natural tendency in human beings which may have been buried deep within and under the emotional conflicts of the self. Letting go of self is also letting free of one's creativity. A trait anyone can aspire for.
6. Applications of Emotional Intelligence: Conflict Resolution
It is a fact that conflict in everyday life cannot be avoided and is inevitable in a relationship, whether in the workplace or in a social milieu. People have differences, they do not have the same needs and wants, opinions, and expectations and these even changes from time to time.
This fact need not be a disadvantage in a relationship and instead, accepting the differences can be healthy and the knowledge could even make the relationship stronger. For can you imagine a world with people all alike in needs and wants, opinions, and expectations? Growth and progress would even be more unimaginable if such is the case.
Differences among individuals can be dealt with in a healthy and constructive way and could even lead to building trusting relationship. Situations need not be perceived as conflicting and such situations foster freedom, creativity, and strong relationship.
The following are tips on how to resolve conflicts in non-threatening ways:
Stay focused in the present and in the moment. Past experiences need to stay in the past and not clutter the present. Letting go of old hurts, pains, grudges, and resentments allow the opportunity for a current situation to present itself in a learning light and could even resolve old emotions about conflicts.
Choose the arguments. It is tempting to argue with what comes into mind. But using the armor already possessed from previous s, one can take time to choose the best and most appropriate among the many arguments possible and resolve the conflict in a positive way. There are times when silence is an argument by itself. Choose an argument that would build relationships rather than destroy relationships.
Forgive. To forgive is a noble trait one can possess. It is not easy to forgive particularly if the resulting pain one has caused is intense. But in not forgiving, one is tied to a painful past. Let the pain remain in the past and let the self grow with the new experience. Conflict resolution entails giving up the urge to get back at one.
End conflicts that can't be resolved. In a relationship, two or more people are involved. Resolving conflict could also call for disengaging from a conflict even if it goes against the grain. Silence when called for is still conflict resolution. This could be very difficult to do but if one is committed to change and to strengthen relationships, resolving conflict in positive constructive ways must be mastered.
Conclusion
Emotional Intelligence as a concept and as a practice is fairly new. The development of Emotional Intelligence therefore may seem to be daunting and intimidating. However, studies have shown that the engagement in emotional intelligence can be learned and sustained. It needs however one's commitment and engagement for this to take hold in one's life and ultimately lead to a happy and successful life.
In everything, sacrifice is necessary but the rewards can be more fulfilling than the sacrifices done.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Sean Clive is an Australian Author, psychologist, and life coach. He believes in getting to the route of the problem rather than using over the counter drugs and medications to help ease only the symptoms and has done about ten years of research in natural medicine and holistic healing. He also mentors and coaches people of all ages in different areas (including business, goal setting, self esteem and dating). Clive now shares his knowledge through kindle e-book
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
STRANGER’S LOVE
AFFECTION
TIME ENOUGH
SWORD
LOVE BITES
TAMING THE BEAST
UNEXPECTED LIFE ON THE WESTERN PLAINS
THE SECRETS AND DESIRE OF THE LONE WOLF
THE PSYCHIC
MUSIC IS MY BOYFRIEND
THE DAY I DIE
I WAS COLOR BLIND
DEIRDRE
THE BROKEN EAGLE FLIES AGAIN
EARTHBOUND
THE SECRET KISS
AFFAIR WITH A WEREWOLF
ALIEN’S TOUCH
BRINGING HOME AN ALIEN
AN ALIEN’S QUEST FOR LOVE
ALIEN’S RETURN
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