The Nullifier

by Erin M. Leaf

  “I’m sorry, Nick.”

  Nick inhaled deeply, and then exhaled slowly before replying. “Look. Just give yourself a break, okay? Don’t think about all the hard things for at least a week. Try and remember who you are, without worrying about what other people think.” He crossed his arms in frustration, and then grimaced as his bicep throbbed. He ran a hand over the wound. It still hurt, but at least no one could see the gauze he’d wrapped around his arm under his shirt.

  “I can’t help it.” Jenna scowled. “I have a lot to deal with.”

  Nick frowned and dropped his arms. “Okay, then give yourself a break for one day. Or for an hour.” He tapped her on the shoulder, emphasizing his point. “The only way to get through the shit times in life is to move forward. You can’t dwell on the past. And you can’t fix everything that’s gone wrong all at once. You need to take it one step at a time. Right?” He smiled. It felt a little forced, but at least he was trying. That had to count for something. “Listen to someone who’s been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. You need to do normal things so that your body and brain can remember how it feels. You weren’t with him for so long that you can’t recover who you are.” He put a fist to his heart. “I know this, in here. You are a good person, Jenna.”

  “You’re the only one who thinks so.”

  Nick scowled at her, and she sighed, but then she nodded.

  “I can try.”

  “Good.” Nick walked to the door. “I’m going out for some food. Relax. Read a book. Paint your nails or something. Call a girlfriend to come over. Do normal things.”

  Jenna made a face at him. “You hate the smell of nail polish.”

  “I’ll deal with it.” Nick gave her a little salute, and headed out. Truthfully, he needed a few minutes alone to get his head calm again. He loved his sister, but she reminded him of all those things he thought he’d left behind years ago: family, love, acceptance, responsibility. And anger. He remembered a hell of a lot of conflict and anger. He could never go back, and he’d made a habit of never dwelling on the things he couldn’t change, but he would never abandon his sister. She was the only real family he had left.

  So, get a grip, Nick. Now is not the time to psychoanalyze your life. He grabbed his keys from the side table near the front door, and set his mind on the task in front of him. Pizza, first. Then maybe rent a movie to watch with Jenna, get her mind off her shit. And then, after she’s asleep, you can email Zero about the new items you’ve got for him to sell.

  ****

  Felix yawned as he pulled into his driveway. He parked outside the garage, and then sat in the truck, listening to the hot engine tick down. He needed sleep, but he was too hungry to just go to bed. He’d heat up some leftovers, and then reassess the new contract before getting some shut-eye. He didn’t really need the money, and for some reason, the thought of getting Nick embroiled in a murder investigation just didn’t sit well with him. Still thinking over the problem, he scanned the neighborhood, doing his usual check for anything out of the ordinary. He narrowed his eyes when he realized the house next door had lights on inside. He got out of his truck, still watching the windows.

  “New neighbors. Need to check them out.” He added that to the list of tasks in his head. He kept his job as far away from his living space as he possibly could, and this was a safe, boring area, but it wouldn’t do to get cocky. He ran checks on all the people who lived near him. He opened the truck door and got out, then froze when he saw Nick fucking Banner walk out of the house that had just been rented.

  “Fuck me sideways,” he breathed, mind racing. If Nick had rented the house next door, that must mean that his sister was here, too. His fucking mark’s ex-girlfriend was probably living next door. What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

  Too many damned roads lead all the way back to me, he thought, once again considering dismissal of the contract all together. Zero would bitch and moan about cancellation fees, but whatever. Felix could afford it. He watched Nick walk down the front sidewalk to his SUV. He didn’t seem to be favoring his arm, which inexplicably pleased Felix, but then Nick ran a hand over his face as if exhausted.

  Fuck. What do I care if he’s tired? Felix shook his head at himself and closed the truck door.

  Nick looked up at the sound and caught Felix’s gaze. His eyebrows flew up in surprise, but then he smiled and strode over the tiny lawn to Felix’s truck.

  Aw, hell. Now I have to make small talk, Felix thought, even as he admired Nick’s efficient strides. The man moved like a predator, and Felix remembered how easily he’d taken down Edwards. Clearly, Nick wasn’t someone who sat around all day. For some reason, Felix liked that about him.

  “Hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Nick shook his head and his longish blond hair fell over his eyes. He brushed it back. “Small world.” He held out his hand.

  Felix couldn’t hold back a smile. “Hell, yeah, it’s a small fucking world.” He shook Nick’s hand, and then nodded toward where the rental sign used to be. “You just move in? I haven’t seen you here before.” His gaze strayed down Nick’s body, assessing him for weapons. Nick wore hip-hugging jeans and a soft pullover sweater that hid his bandaged left arm. No bulges or outlines of any weaponry marred the toned lines of his body. He lingered on the sculpted muscles of Nick’s chest. The man probably packed a hell of a punch. No wonder Quincy Edwards had dropped like a stone.

  Nick nodded. “Yeah. Just got my sister moved in with me, too. It should be interesting. Her ex is a real jerk.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m here to help her get back on her feet and away from that psycho.”

  Felix wasn’t surprised that Edwards was an abusive bastard. “That sucks for her,” he merely said, not wanting to tip off how much he knew about the guy.

  “Yeah, but I’m here now. I can protect her.” Nick smiled again.

  Protect her from a slick gangster? Felix mused, but before he could speak, Nick nodded towards Felix’s truck.

  “Nice wheels.”

  Felix blinked, momentarily at a loss for words. He’d never in his life got caught up in a random, pointless conversation about vehicles. “It gets me around,” he said, not even trying to elaborate. Instead, he changed the topic, weirdly reluctant to shut down the small talk. “So, how’s your arm?”

  Nick made a face. “Fine, just sore. I’m still pissed, though.” He shrugged, wincing slightly. “I hope those bastards rot in jail. The poor girl at the checkout counter looked like she was going to stroke out.”

  “I think she’ll be okay. She’s tough. As for the losers who scared her, well, they’ll be in lockup for a while. Addicts can’t usually post bail.” Felix paused, considering. “Unless they have someone who enables their habit, in which case, all bets are off.” It wouldn’t surprise him if those two goons worked for Edwards. Stranger things had happened. Case in point: my newest job is to kill the ex-boyfriend of Nick’s sister.

  “True that,” Nick said, lips twisting. “So, I’m off to get some pizza. Want to join my sister and me when I get back? She could use some normal company.” He smiled. “So can I.”

  He thinks I’m normal? If he knew what I did for a living, he’d be running the opposite direction. Amused, Felix shook his head. “I can’t.” He didn’t explain that he had no time for socializing when he needed to figure out why the hell he felt so tempted into saying “yes”. He wouldn’t mind getting to know Nick better. It had been decades since he’d just hung out with a buddy. But that way lies madness.

  Nick waited a moment, as if expecting an explanation for Felix’s refusal. “You don’t sound all that sure to me. Come on. I’m even getting mushrooms, which are disgusting.” He tilted his head. “Do you like mushrooms?”

  Felix stared at the guy. He did like mushrooms. He hadn’t eaten them on a pizza in ages. Shit. “Well, since you promised mushrooms…” He trailed off, not quite believing what was saying, even as the words dropped from his mouth. Did I just agree to have dinne
r with the brother of my mark’s ex-girlfriend? What the fuck is wrong with me? His gaze flicked down Nick’s body again. The man really did keep himself in great shape. What would it be like to spar with him?

  “Excellent.” Nick grinned, rocking back on his heels. “I’ll be back in a half hour. Just come to the front door.” He nodded at Felix, and then headed back across the grass to his vehicle.

  Felix watched him go, mind racing with rationalizations. “This is a good thing,” he murmured to himself as Nick’s SUV pulled out of his driveway. “It’s good to socialize. People need interaction or they turn into nutjobs.” He snorted softly to himself. Nick waved at him as he passed by. “Plus, I can get to know more about Edwards if I talk to his ex. Good for business. Right?”

  He shook his head, fully aware that his mental gymnastics bordered on the absurd. He ran a hand through his hair, then scrubbed at his short beard. “Jesus. I’m a stupid fucking idiot.” He headed inside to take a quick shower. Maybe some hot water would wash some sense back into his brain. God knew he could use a dose of pragmatism right now.

  Chapter Four

  “Wait, you what? You invited the neighbor to dinner?” Jenna asked, the astonishment clear in her voice. “Are you serious?”

  “He’s nice. You’ll like him,” Nick said, putting the pizza boxes down on the kitchen breakfast bar. “He hasn’t been here long.”

  Jenna ran a hand over her hair. “I dunno. I’m kind of tired.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Nick said, pulling her into a hug. “It’ll be good for you to see that not all guys are raging lunatics. Live a normal life, remember?”

  She rolled her eyes. “The fact that you invited him over, today, kind of points the opposite direction, Nick. It’s not normal for you to invite random guys to dinner. In fact, I don’t remember the last time you even went on a date, unless there’s something you’re not telling me?”

  Nick shook his head. “I would tell you if I met someone.”

  “Exactly.” Jenna pointed at him. “What happened to chilling, painting my nails?”

  Nick sighed, wondering if he’d made a mistake. He wanted to help his sister, but at the same time, there was something about Felix that interested him. “He stopped a robbery at the gas station this morning. I think he works in law enforcement or something,” Nick said before his brain could catch up with his mouth. He clamped his lips shut, wondering what the hell had got into him. The man’s gorgeous. You’re thinking with your dick, dumbass, his brain informed him in no uncertain terms.

  “What? There was a robbery? You didn’t tell me that.” Jenna stopped in the center of the kitchen, hands full of plates. “Are you okay? What happened?”

  Nick grimaced, annoyed with himself for bringing it up. “I’m fine. It was nothing. It happened just as I was going in for coffee, and it was over in under five minutes, thanks to Felix.” He took the plates from her and set them on the table. “Relax. He’s one of the good guys. I promise.” He eyed his sister’s expression, hoping she couldn’t tell he was lying through his teeth. He didn’t know the first damn thing about Felix except that he wanted to fuck him into the wall. “Just … you know. Roll with it. Okay?”

  Jenna stared at him for a moment. “Roll with it,” she repeated, sitting down. She pressed her thumb between her eyebrows. “God knows my sense of people isn’t always reliable, but you always know how to read someone. You always have.” She took a deep breath. “If this is important to you, I can deal.” She tilted her head, and narrowed her eyes. “Is he cute?”

  Dammit. Nick flushed. “Maybe.”

  “Ha!” Jenna pointed at him. “You want in his pants.”

  Nick rolled his shoulders, not sure if he was more pleased that his sister was showing some animation after the trauma of the day, or upset that she’d figured out his true motivation for inviting Felix over. “He’s straight.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “What? You know I don’t mess around with straight guys.” Nick defended himself.

  “If you thought he was straight, what are you doing asking him to dinner, tonight of all nights?” his sister pointed out, very perceptively.

  Nick knew she was right, but Felix felt like a good person to him. A little intimidating, maybe, but still good people. He shrugged, as if his mind weren’t racing with a thousand conflicting thoughts. “It’s just pizza. No big deal.”

  “You realize he lives next door,” Jenna replied, a hint of tartness in her voice. “If he turns out to be a nut case, there’s no getting away, and then we’re both screwed.”

  “He’s not crazy, and I have no intention of asking him out,” Nick said, just as the doorbell rang. I’d just like to fuck him into next week. “And it’s too late to back out now. He’s here,” he told his sister, heading for the front door. He swung it open. “Hey, there. Glad you could come.” He looked Felix up and down. The man had showered, and his dark hair curled wetly over his forehead and the nape of his neck. Nick wanted to run his fingers through it and lick off the water. Damn it, get your mind out of the gutter.

  “Thanks for having me.” Felix’s gaze flicked over the room as if assessing the exits, then landed on Jenna.

  Nick waved him in and shut the door. “It’s not much, but it’s home, for now.” He glanced at the cool blue walls and modern furniture. He’d decorated it so it would be soothing, and he quite liked the uncluttered space. He led Felix to Jenna. She’d taken the stool closest to the wall at the breakfast bar that jutted into the living room. “Jenna, this is Felix Cooper, our neighbor. Felix, my sister, Jenna.”

  “It’s Felix Zamaro, actually,” Felix said.

  Nick blinked, confused. The hell? I know the cop called him Mr. Cooper.

  “The cop heard wrong,” Felix said, clearly interpreting Nick’s confusion.

  “Uh, okay,” Nick said, glancing at his sister.

  The look on Jenna’s face after she got a good look at their neighbor told Nick she knew exactly why he’d invited Felix over, and it wasn’t because the man was nice. She smirked at Nick, and he narrowed his gaze at her. Their sibling communication seemed to be functioning perfectly, even after years living apart, because she grinned at him before turning to Felix.

  “Hey,” she said. “Pleased to meet you.” She offered him a little wave.

  “Sorry if I’m imposing,” Felix said, his voice quiet and non-threatening.

  Jenna straightened up. “It’s no problem.”

  Nick was happy to see his sister making an effort. He smiled at her. She gave him a look that told him he’d owe her for this. Whatever. I got her away from that asshole. She owes me.

  “Nick told me he just moved you in today,” Felix continued, lifting a shoulder. “If you’re tired, I can go. I know what it’s like to haul boxes.”

  Jenna shook her head “No, no. It’s fine. Have a seat.”

  Felix took the stool farthest from her, and handed Nick a six-pack of cola. “Least I can do.”

  “Thanks,” Nick said, strangely tongue-tied. Felix had changed into skin-hugging jeans and a green t-shirt that stretched across an impressive-as-hell chest. The color gave his hazel eyes a mesmerizing glow. Nick tore his gaze away, relieved when his sister took up the conversational ball, because he suddenly couldn’t string three words together. Stop staring at him, he admonished himself.

  “So, have you lived here long?” Jenna asked, opening the boxes of pizza. She handed Felix a plate.

  “Not really. I moved here about six months ago.” Felix held out his plate as Nick began pulling the pizza slices apart. “I rent the house. It’s a nice neighborhood.”

  Nick grabbed a slice with mushrooms and slid it onto the plate. “Fungus pizza, just like I promised.”

  Jenna laughed. “I like mushrooms, even though Nick hates them. And anchovies.” She helped herself to the pizza.

  Nick flashed her a grateful smile. Suddenly, she seemed to be reacting much more like the sister he remembered. Maybe just being out of that asshole’s h
ouse and away from his influence would help her more than he’d expected.

  “Nick doesn’t like anchovies?” Felix asked.

  “Ha.” She made a sound in the back of her throat. “No.”

  “It’s the crunch of the bones.” Nick shuddered. “So. Gross.”

  “The bones are too tiny and soft to crunch.” Felix laughed, taking a big bite. Nick watched him chew. Even that motion made the guy look sexy as all fuck. Shit, I’ve got it bad. He wanted to rub his forehead, but he knew it would make him look like an idiot. “So, you’ve been here six months? I grew up here, but I only just came back.”

  Felix eyed him around his slice of pizza for a moment, and then placed it down on his plate. “I move around a lot.” He shrugged. “My job requires travel.”

  “Really? My brother’s job is like that, too,” Jenna said, opening a can of soda. “He hasn’t come back home to stay for longer than a day or two in years.”

  Nick kept his body language relaxed, even as his internal alarms started beeping. His sister only thought she knew what he did for a living. Steering the conversation this direction always held a chance of exposure. He glanced at Felix. Fortunately, not a hint of suspicion marred the man’s face.

  “He does something with computers.” Jenna sipped her drink, then coughed. “Ugh, too much fizz.”

  Nick shook his head, smiling through his unease. He’d practiced the expression in the mirror. No one would be able to tell that he had to force it. Time to deflect. “I’m a lowly consultant. I just go where they tell me,” he explained, hoping to God the man didn’t ask for more details. His sister was going to be the death of him.

  “Computer work is a good career, so I hear,” Felix said, a hint of amusement in his tone.

  Nick nodded and stuffed a bite of food in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to expound on his only somewhat-true explanation. The man’s good looks were scrambling his brains. Even the bit of tomato sauce on Felix’s lower lip looked sexy.