Upended Life (Artemis University Book 1)

by Erin R Flynn

  Right before lunch Claudia knocked on our door with my new debit card, bank packets, and my new cell phone with information on my plan.

  Nice.

  “We’re sort of having fun shopping and plotting,” I told her when I figured she might ask about the list again.

  She smiled brightly. “Good for you. Enjoy it. I just wanted to take something off your plate but if you’re having fun with it, go wild.”

  Well, that was easy and made sense since she was nice. I didn’t see her as a pushy woman looking for reasons to charge hours. She was way too efficient for that.

  Izzy brought her laptop to lunch and after I set up my Amazon account, she reloaded all her open tabs and put what we agreed into my cart.

  “Now that we’ve got more handled I’m just going to read the list and see if we missed anything,” she told me when we were settled and eating.

  Smart. Now I wouldn’t be overwhelmed as much.

  “Bath and bedding,” she muttered, looking at the screen. “Comforter, throw blanket, sheets, pillows, pillowcases, mattress pad, reading pillow, alarm clock, tissues, toilet paper, paper towels, under-bed storage, towels, shower shoes, shower caddy, and extra pillows for studying. Well, we got the bean bags so that’s enough.”

  I blew a very long raspberry as I went over all of that in my head. I nodded I was okay when she shot me a worried look.

  “A throw blanket would be nice but the mattress is nice so no pad. Maybe an allergy bag? Yeah, I need flip-flops but it’s just us for the shower, though a caddy would be nice. And yeah, get tissues, toilet paper, and paper towels.”

  “Got it. Let’s eat.”

  “I’m okay,” I argued.

  “You are but you don’t need it all today,” she reminded me. “Give me your phone too.”

  “Right, that.” I pulled it out of my pocket and slid it over to her. “I need to get it updated at the guard station. And, well, learn how to use an iPhone.”

  “If you had an iPod you’ll get it fine, otherwise you have me.”

  I nodded, catching a glimpse of Darby as he carried his tray over to an empty table. I couldn’t pay him but maybe I could still get him what he needed, right?

  There was no harm against that, right?

  “Hey, want to have some fun?” I whispered to her.

  “Always.” She smirked at me. “My answer is—I always want to have more fun.”

  It was a pretty good way to live life in my opinion. I filled her in and mischief danced in her eyes.

  “Yes, he’s your tutor but he’s not mine,” she purred. “No reason he couldn’t get stuff from me. I would love to be Santa’s little helper. I’ll even wear an outfit for deliveries.”

  I threw back my head and let out the biggest laugh which I hadn’t in the longest time. Months at least. It really wasn’t that funny but it was like relief that I found another pod person like me who wouldn’t think me a freak or maybe realizing we were all freaks.

  “So she can laugh and smile,” Juan teased me as he walked by with several others, including Mr. Panty Soaker.

  Who sat only a table over this time. Interesting.

  I just nodded and told Izzy to get back to the list.

  “Health and beauty,” she led in but seemed to rule them out this time if she felt the need or it was done, wrinkling up her nose as she did. “Shower gel/bath soap, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, hair grooming tools, toothbrush/toothpaste, lotion/skin cosmetics, makeup, makeup box—”

  “Okay, breathe,” I interjected.

  “Almost done,” she argued. “Bathrobe, floss, eye drops, Q-tips, mouthwash, nail clippers, loofah, razor, cotton swabs, first-aid kit, vitamins/headache meds/prescriptions, bathroom cleaning products, heating pad, air purifier.”

  “Dude, you should be a fucking rapper,” I drawled as she got that all out easily and faster than most people could even talk. “Do you know all the words to ‘The Real Slim Shady’?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “You an Eminem fan?”

  I nodded. “I run to a playlist of his songs. Keeps me from being too violent.”

  “I’ll learn the song if you smile and laugh again,” she offered.

  “Oh yeah, watching little petite you rap that would abso-fucking-lutely make me smile for sure.”

  “I’m like that when my mom sings Celine Dion horribly off key to cut tension in the house.”

  “That’s cute,” I agreed.

  “You gotta figure a way to make me laugh,” she challenged.

  I rolled my eyes. I had no problem making an ass of myself. “Does that have access to my iTunes?”

  “Yeah, it’s kind of the point,” she teased me, showing me how to do it.

  I quickly logged in and handled all the steps, clicking what I wanted downloaded on my phone. That would be nice, have it all in one place. I told her I also wanted an Apple Watch but she would be in charge of syncing it all.

  She promised she had it, waving for me to get to the laughing part.

  I nodded, clicking on the right song and turning up the volume before hopping up on my chair. She frowned at the intro of the song, clearly knowing it but not placing it.

  Her eyes went wide as I started rapping D-12’s “Purple Pills.” I played it up with funny faces and hand gestures, bouncing to the beat as I rapped. A few times I leaned over and pointed in her face or squatted down.

  She was dying. Seriously, she was laughing so hard that I kept getting goofier to see if I could make her snort or fall off of her chair.

  When I finished, I bowed to her, lots of others around us laughing or cheering. I smirked at Izzy. “That is not remotely the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done.”

  I hopped down to sit and tapped my phone so it didn’t play the next song, closing out of iTunes.

  “How—” She couldn’t get out any more than that, her face beet red as she fanned herself and tried to get full air. I was enjoying it but went back to my food so it didn’t go bad.

  I caught the gaze of Dr. Craftsman halfway across the cafeteria. He shook his head at me, most of the faculty around him doing the same.

  I simply shrugged.

  “Why did you learn to do that?” she asked.

  “I lost a bet,” I confessed. “It was… Mother. Fucker.” I held up my finger to have her hang on as I unlocked my phone and typed in Mel’s number, knowing it by heart.

  “Hello?” she answered hesitantly.

  I put it on speaker and put it on the table so Izzy could hear. “Hey, this is my new number. I was going to text it to you but I just rapped ‘Purple Pills’ and realized something important.”

  “Awww, shit,” she groaned.

  “Yeah, I thought I was racing a friggin’ human like I was but I made that bet and raced a damn dragon to lose that bet. I call cheats, seriously, bitch move, Mel.” I shook my head as Izzy started laughing all over again.

  “Glad you’re having fun there,” Mel drawled. “In my defense, I thought you knew I was a dragon or at least a supe too.”

  “Still not—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I agree on the foul but not cheats,” she cut in. “It wasn’t intentional and I bet you’re still thanking me you learned how to that.”

  “I’m grateful, which is why I’m not calling a debt,” I agreed. “Talk later?”

  “Wait, where are you that you rapped that?”

  “The cafeteria.”

  “Of course you did,” she sighed. “Try and behave just a little, Tams.”

  “I could do ‘Without Me’ next,” I offered.

  “No, please, my heart can’t take any more,” Izzy begged. “I’m going to pee myself if you do another.”

  “I was aiming for you to fall out of your chair laughing,” I confessed.

  “Wait, before I go, I want to talk to the roommate,” Mel said from the phone. I frowned as Izzy grabbed the phone and took it off of speaker.

  I only heard her side of the call, which was a lot of agreeing or “got it.” Well, th
at was comforting.

  She hung up after saying goodbye and handed it back to me. “She says goodbye. I like her.”

  “What did she say?”

  She shrugged. “She gave me a quick list of how to handle you best.” She smirked when I frowned. “You really are like a feline shifter with strangers.”

  “I’ve been called worse,” I grumbled under my breath, picking up my sandwich again. “Just don’t call me a stray or street rat. I tend to cut a bitch then.”

  “Duly noted.” She shook her head at me as we went back to eating.

  Dr. Craftsman finished before we did, stopping at our table and swiping my phone. “I have been assigned as your species advisor. I’m putting my number in here.”

  I nodded. “Cool, thanks.” I gave him a suspicious look. “As long as you don’t use your siren’s voice on me again. That was a crap hangover.”

  He rolled his eyes at me before setting the cell back down. “It’s almost two.”

  “Crap, right,” I sighed.

  “You remembered your pills?”

  “Do you want me to start calling you dad?”

  “Nope,” he chuckled, taking the hint and walking off.

  “You look like you want to call him daddy and confess you’ve been a bad girl,” Izzy whispered quietly.

  I smirked at her. “Not how I roll but I’m open to try a lot.”

  She returned the look. “Damn, that’s laying down the gauntlet for me to corrupt you.”

  I burst out laughing again. Game on. I hoped she could come up with something good. “You’re going to put a few adult toys in my shopping cart, aren’t you?”

  “As any good roommate should,” she purred, her laptop already open.

  Heaven save me because apparently we were well paired up.

  A lot of people seemed to be heading to the bookstore after lunch so we went back to the dorm and finished what we were already working on.

  Good, I wanted to keep getting things settled. We moved on to school supplies and desk organizers.

  “Mel said you’re incredibly visual and a bit rigid in wanting order when you’ve had too much chaos so schedules and lists are best for you. I’m like that too but otherwise I’m a bit too hyper and scattered as the youngest. So how much can I let my OCD flag fly?” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “I like to decorate my room with my life. It makes me focused and able to conquer more than mere mortals.”

  “Fly that flag, honey. Fly it high and proud,” I teased, making the sign of the cross at her. “May the force be with you.”

  We checked out with what we had at Amazon and Sam’s Club, done with at least that part for the day. Then we headed to the bookstore with our schedules. It didn’t take long and I was faster than her at the register, handing over my card and getting both our books on there.

  She waited until we were hauling it all back to our room, not making a scene in the store. “Why did you do that?”

  I snorted. “You didn’t just help me with a few things, Izzy. You’ve signed up to be my supe world tutor, life coach, interior decorator, and personal shopper. And I’m rich now. Fuck, consider it a down payment for keeping my lawyer costs low.”

  “Thanks, Tamsin,” she muttered.

  I nodded, feeling like I’d done my good deed for the day at least.

  We spent the rest of the day getting settled and organized. I got my phone updated and the rest of everything needed, including giving my phone number to those who needed it.

  Marshall and Sean both demanded I add their numbers so yeah, now I had more than Mel in my phone. It was sort of weird if I was honest.

  But nice.

  Yeah, it was nice.

  11

  The next morning I went for a run on my new territory-approved route. There was an area for witches and warlocks to practice in nature and with space but they weren’t as territorial as others.

  Still, I didn’t want to risk startling someone early in the morning if they were going to be out there, so I stuck to the open-to-all territories. There was more than enough space with the large campus, so it was fine.

  It was mostly the front of campus and extended to the dorms that were spread out around the cafeteria. So it was basically the biggest piece of the pie and each individual territory was like a slice behind the specific dorm and fanned out.

  Easy enough if someone told you.

  Plus it gave me a chance to explore. Right before I was going to turn around at three miles, I saw something interesting tucked way behind the sports center almost to the edge of campus.

  Obstacle courses. They were huge but the parts were clearly meant to be moveable. I guessed they were used for training and couldn’t resist the desire to try them.

  They were challenging but fun, good ones that were well thought out for sure. Nice that they were right at the three-mile mark from my dorm so I could beef up my workout with a run through one and head back. It had me smiling as I finished.

  Yeah, I could do this and settle in here.

  As long as I made it through the ball that night.

  I texted Izzy when I reached the dorm and before I started stretching—as promised—and she came out just as I was wrapping up. I nodded she was right that it worked well and we headed to breakfast.

  I loaded up and chowed down, needing the fuel even if I was nervous about that night.

  Just as we finished up I felt that energy again, more of it now and almost feeling like a magnet pulled to him. I knew it was him and he was behind me. It took everything I had not to squirm in my chair.

  What the fuck was this? Did dragons have some animal magnetism that flared for mutual attraction and amped up the desire to fuck?

  When I met his gaze as he walked by with his friends, I could see he was just as ready to throw me on the table and screw me as I was to let him. This was going to be distracting if it happened every time we were around each other.

  Part of me wanted to ask him but I was also worried it was his power, like drawing moths to a flame but instead chicks to him, that he wanted to screw.

  But I didn’t think so. He seemed as shocked as I had been the first time.

  “Will you let me do your hair tonight?” Izzy asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  “Yeah, if you can handle a curly mane,” I agreed with a shrug.

  “What’s on the agenda for today?”

  “I’ve got more shopping and Darby said to read the first chapter of all my textbooks before classes started so yeah, that.”

  “Right, I saw your gown hanging,” she muttered, looking worried.

  “Do you not have one?” I asked, cursing myself that I didn’t think of my roommate when I helped the scholarship students.

  “I have something to wear,” she answered evasively.

  “We can get help with that,” I promised her, catching the witch who’d helped me as she walked in with friends. “I got this.”

  She gave me a curious look but didn’t ask, following after me when we were done eating. The witch, Natalie, greeted me with a smile.

  “Hey, so I was wondering how that spell worked,” I said, explaining why I was bugging her. “Izzy’s dress might need some help so how does it work?”

  She nodded as she glanced at Izzy, seeing she was worried. “Think of it in balance. Color change is easy as it has color. Minor adjustments for size, no problem. You can’t take a size two to a twenty extreme, as that’s too much extra fabric for that level of spell.”

  “And it’s quality for quality,” one of her friends added. “So you can’t take a cheap Target dress and make it into a designer gown. Trust me, we’ve tried.”

  “Do you have to wear a long dress tonight?” I asked them, glad when they shook their heads. “I have a few designer dresses in my closet that are like knee length. Could we take like a cocktail dress and flare it up to a wedding dress type?”

  “That we can do,” Natalie assured me. “And there was one extra pair of shoes so it’s perfect.”
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  “Awesome. Can I pay you? Or we were ordering some stuff for our dorm if you want?”

  “We could use some study snacks,” she said with a shrug.

  “Cool, we were going to order some from Sam’s,” Izzy told her, shooting me a grateful smile. “What’s your room? I can come over whenever you’re ready.”

  They traded information and Izzy looked more relieved to make a senior witch friend than just get help with her dress. I loved how she didn’t even blink or care in the slightest that Natalie was a scholarship student.

  Then again, if that sort of thing bothered her, I doubted she could be my friend.

  Once we were back in the room I gave her the dress I’d been thinking about and asked to borrow her laptop. I spent twenty minutes looking up study tips for college and how to get better with computers.

  I sat with what I’d read for a few minutes and decided on a way to combine the two. I brought my textbook for Intro to Supernaturals to my desk and opened it to the first chapter.

  Then I started typing it out. I was reading it slower and focusing on the words and practicing typing, which was the main thing. There weren’t really any shortcuts besides making sure you used the right technique and hand placement.

  Hey, it was one of the tips for studying… Start small. I could do that.

  I took breaks and spent way too much on Victoria’s Secret’s website. I was grateful for the new wardrobe, but used undergarments was where I drew the line.

  There was more I wanted to add but instead I wrote a list of what I would grab when I went back to the Townsend house. My house now.

  No, it was still too weird to think of it like that.

  Izzy was over the moon with what Natalie pulled off when she got back. She started studying too but when it was time for lunch she was all about figuring out my hair. Right when we were at the trays she gasped.

  “This is it. We have to do this with your gorgeous locks,” she declared, handing me her phone.

  I took it, studying the picture of a updo that was a braid on either side of my head, flipped up and clipped with lots of hanging pieces and spirals so it waterfalled in the back. I raised an eyebrow at her. “You can do it?”