Fate and Destiny

by Claire Collins

  “I need to talk to Destiny alone for a minute. Will you two gentlemen step outside and behave like gentlemen at least until I get there?”

  Doug nodded, already rising to his feet then folding up the blankets he slept with. Andrew leaned forward in his chair but didn’t stand up to leave.

  “I think whatever you need to say to her, you can say with me still here.”

  The look Andrew shot Matt warned him Andrew was not in a gentlemanly mood. Matt fired the same look right back at his cousin.

  “No, I don’t think I can. I think you can take your happy ass outside and cool off while I have a couple of words with Destiny. It’s her future on the line here, not yours.”

  Chagrined, Andrew rose from the chair. Pulling his hood over his head, he stomped out the door, one foot hitting the floor heavier than the other. Doug quickly followed after replacing all of the candles, blankets, and heater back where he found them. Except for the broken glass, no one would ever know they were there.

  The room now empty except for the two on the couch, Matt turned to Destiny and spoke quietly so the men outside could not hear through the glassless window.

  “Why did you leave Andrew’s cabin?”

  Despite the gentle, soft tone, Destiny detected the barely controlled anger that simmered under Matt’s cool exterior.

  “Do you know how crazy out of his mind Andrew was that you were gone? You take off in his truck while he’s limping around the woods looking for Shadow. The dog is fine, in case you want to know.”

  Destiny nodded. She understood the lost feeling Doug must have most of the time.

  “What did Andrew do to you that scared you so much you thought you had to take off like that? It’s a miracle neither of you died. You could have been killed driving on icy mountain roads. I assume you have never done that before since you couldn’t control the truck. He could have been killed chasing you through the snow, with a bad leg, in freezing temperatures. I’m just glad one of you retained a little common sense. He stayed put until I got there. What happened?”

  Intent on Matt’s facial features, Destiny realized she was wrong. It wasn’t anger that lurked in Matt. It was concern and worry. The gentle lines of his face shone with the old soul contained within. Matt was not judging her, simply trying to understand her.

  “Matt, he’s already in too deep. You don’t know what happens to people who get close to me. They die. He put everything at risk to help me, not knowing who I was, but now I have a choice in the matter, and I choose to save him from the fate of being near me.”

  “What are you saying? You think you’re jinxed or something? The fate of being near you? What about his choices? Doesn’t he get a say in this at all? Don’t you think he can handle making his own decisions?”

  Destiny shook her head at all of the questions. She couldn’t make Matt or Andrew understand.

  “Andrew has such a full life. A career he likes, a huge family, friends. A little getaway cabin in the mountains. If he risked anything more because of me, and it turned out badly, I couldn’t live with myself knowing it was all my fault.”

  “A full life? He goes to work every day because he thinks it’s his duty. His paternal grandfather started the company he works for. Stockholders own it now, and Andrew and Sammy hold the largest amount of shares. Andrew doesn’t have to work, but he does because he thinks he owes it to his grandfather. He doesn’t come up here to get away from anything. He comes up here to get back to things. He forgets how it feels to be part of a family when he’s out there in California. That man is lonely. He comes back here because he needs us. Then he gets depressed because he sees all of the cousins he grew up with married and having children, and he’s jealous because he wants that life, but his imaginary duties keep him from having it. When he gets like that, he packs up and goes back. It’s an endless cycle.”

  Matt stood, restlessly pacing the few steps between the couch and chair.

  “His mom lives here, his brother lives here, and our grandma still lives here. He grew up here. The only reason he went to California is because he was a young kid with hopes and dreams of making his grandfather happy. The old man spent his life at work, creating a legacy for his kids. That’s what he was doing when his son, Andrew’s dad, died. Andrew was six when his dad lost control of the car and it flipped down an embankment. Andrew was in the passenger seat. No one could believe he lived. Somehow, he came out of it without a scratch. The car ejected his dad on one of the flips. Died instantly. Grandpap was on patrol and found Andrew walking down the side of the road near the wreck. He was covered in blood and Grandpap thought he was on the verge of death until he realized none of the blood was his. Andrew held onto his dad long after he passed on. The poor kid finally walked back up to the road for help.”

  “That’s awful. How tragic for a child.”

  The tears filling her eyes warmed a path down her cheek. Memories of her own tragedies swelled, although now they felt different. Andrew had horrible memories of his childhood too, but he didn’t shun people. If anything, he embraced them, surrounding himself with his family and friends, and they were there when he needed them.

  “I can’t let your family get hurt by what’s happening to me. When something bad happens to Andrew, it will be my fault, and none of you will ever forgive me, and I won’t be able to forgive myself. Andrew needs to go back to California, find a good woman and bring her here so he can have the full family life he wants.”

  Matt’s eyes softened, his lips quirked into a smile. Her voice belied her words. She was beginning to doubt herself, thinking of the possibilities of Andrew’s life after this nightmare ended.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen now. Doug and I are going to go into town and make a couple of phone calls. You are going to go back up to the cabin with Andrew and you are going to stay there this time. Otherwise, I will lock you up in my jail and you will stay there until this is all over with. And, while you are in the cabin with Andrew, ask him what he thinks about all of this. You need to lay everything out on the table and let him make his own decision. He’s a big boy. I think he can handle deciding what he wants to do with his own life. And maybe you should really listen to what he says before you decide to run away again.”

  Shocked, she could not look away from Matt as she rose from the couch. He was right. She had not realized it until he said it aloud. She had been running away. Andrew scared her and she scared herself. The depression, sadness, and anxiety were all created within her own mind as if she didn’t deserve to have someone like Andrew care about her. Realities and fantasies intertwined.

  She stumbled after Matt as he left the cabin. The cold shocked some sense into her. Breathing deeply, clearing her mind, finally focusing on Andrew. He leaned against the snowplow, arms crossed over his chest, stocking cap pulled down to meet the top edge of the sunglasses that hid his eyes.

  None of the rocks nearby were large enough for her to hide under. As Matt passed the plow on his way to the Bronco, he slapped Andrew on the back.

  “She’s all yours. I’ll come back up when I know something.” Glancing back at Destiny, he gave her a wink. “Unless you lose her again, then call me.”

  Andrew didn’t move or respond to Matt, he simply stood at the plow truck, watching Destiny. Saying nothing, Andrew finally left his post to get in the cab of the truck. As the engine roared to life, Destiny remained at the door of the borrowed cabin, unsure what to do. When the truck didn’t immediately shift into drive and turn around in the yard, she decided Andrew was not going to leave her there after all.

  Using her step slide method of walking, she made her way to the passenger side, opened the door, and climbed into the truck. The heater was on but nothing could remove the coldness filling the space. Andrew maneuvered the vehicle out of the yard, onto the road, and back up the mountain to the familiar cabin. Destiny watched Andrew, however his eyes never left the road. So many things she wanted to say, but she had no idea how to start. The best she coul
d come up with was to let him be mad for the moment. When he got over it and calmed down, then they could discuss what happened.

  21.

  Rounding the driveway, Destiny’s breath caught in her throat. In the short time since she left, she missed the cabin. Seeing it come into view made her feel like she was coming home. Home. She spoke the word many times regarding the house she lived in, no matter where she lived. House and home were interchangeable, but she could not remember feeling drawn to a place before. At least not since her only real home burned down.

  The bump on her head must have knocked all of her senses loose. She could not possibly care about a dumpy little log building in the middle of nowhere, just like it was not possible to care about a man she didn’t even know who had an entire life she didn’t belong in. The sudden lack of movement jarred her back into the pseudo-reality.

  Leaving the truck parked carelessly in the clearing, Andrew was out of the vehicle and into the cabin before Destiny could get her door open. When the latch finally released its grip on the steel, the door flung open, and Shadow leapt into the truck, knocking Destiny back onto the seat. He slathered her with sloppy kisses, tail pumping furiously in his delight at seeing her. Within seconds of the affectionate attack, Destiny was laughing and scratching under both of the dog’s ears.

  Shadow retreated, jumping down and waiting for her in the snow. As graceful as a toddler letting go for the first time, she cautiously tested her footing on the frozen ground buried under the snow. As soon as she could get to a store, she planned to buy some real boots and throw the damn tennis shoes away. Awkwardly slide walking to the cabin, Shadow confidently walked a few feet ahead of her. When he noticed her lagging, he would stand still and wait for her, his eyes patiently watching her over the bandage on his shoulder. At least he was putting weight on all four legs although he tended to use restraint on the front paw.

  Finally making it to the door, Destiny held it open for the dog, but Shadow had other ideas. He sat on the snow, watching her, head cocked to the side, ear flopping slightly. Wanting to coax him inside, Destiny entered first. As soon as she was completely inside the door, Shadow dropped his stubborn pose to bound inside after her, satisfied she would not shut him inside while she ran away.

  Pulling the door closed behind them, she glanced up to see Andrew lying on the bed. His coat hung on the hook at the door, and his boots on the floor just to the side of the coat, safely out of the line of any melting drops. His hands rested on the pillow, palms up, supporting his head. He lay in a relaxed manner, his feet crossed at the ankles, and his eyes closed. So that was the game he wanted to play? Well she could play too.

  “Are you going to sleep?”

  Silence met her question long enough she didn’t think he would answer at all. She wondered if he was counting to ten to control his anger.

  “Yes. I am going to sleep. I didn’t sleep at all last night and it’s already been a long day. I left the keys in the truck in case you felt the need to take another tour of the mountain.”

  Trying to let the harsh, clipped words slide, Destiny went to the kitchen to scrounge up something to eat. Pasting a smile on her face, forcing the air in her lungs to ease in and out lightly, she created a cheery façade as she inspected the contents of the refrigerator.

  “Yum, bagels and cream cheese. That sounds good. You want one?”

  Glancing over her shoulder, Andrew didn’t move or reply. The only proof he was not sleeping was the irritated twitching of his foot. Pulling a bagel from the bag, she stuck her head in the fridge to hide her smile from his view. She would get to him or drive him crazy trying.

  “Good. More for me. Too bad you don’t have a toaster. I love toasted onion bagels.”

  A furtive glance to the bed. No reply or change of position, but the foot twitched rapidly.

  “I’ll just have to improvise.”

  Placing the bagel and cream cheese on the counter along with a plate, she dug through the scant drawers with enthusiasm although she spotted what she needed the second she pulled the drawer open. The noise of scrambling the utensils, spare batteries, and miscellaneous items in her search was very satisfying. Smiling, keeping up her cheery persona, she gave a sound of triumph as she extracted a pair of tongs from the other items.

  Scooping up her meal from the counter, tongs in hand, she strode across the room, fully aware of Andrew’s curiosity about her activities. Stubbornly, he refused to open his eyes to see what she was doing. Grasping the bagel with the tongs, she held the dense bread treat over the flames, toasting the open edge and filling the cabin with the warm scent of roasting onion. When both halves were crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle, she sat in the chair across from Andrew. Spreading mounds of cream cheese over them, she noisily smacked her lips and sunk her teeth in one. She sounded like a glutton as she thoroughly enjoyed each bite. Ignoring the man, she concentrated on eating. From the corner of her eye, the sudden lack of movement from Andrew's foot caused her to forget to ignore him. Looking up, she nearly choked on the mouthful of onion and bread.

  Andrew stared at her openly, hands still behind his head, but the rest of him unchanged. His liquid gold eyes were wide open, his jaw slack, eyebrows raised in shock at the sight of her eating manners. Remembering the game, she quickly regained her composure. Using the back of her hand, she wiped a pile of cream cheese from her cheek.

  “What?”

  Around the mouthful of bagel, it came out sounding more like wud. Nearly laughing at the absurdity, but afraid she really would choke, she contained her glee at breaking through his tough exterior. Still playing the game, Andrew set his face back into the scowl.

  “Even the dead couldn’t get any rest with all of that smacking and ooing and ahhing you are doing.”

  He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, then wincing as the motion pulled at the tender skin and muscle. Guilt rolled over her. Swallowing so she could speak clearly, her gaze locked onto his.

  “I’m sorry. Not just for the smacking and oohing and ahhing, but for everything. I’m sorry I ended up on your mountain. I’m sorry I invaded your life. I’m sorry I brought you so much trouble. I’m sorry I shot you and stole your truck. You don’t have to keep the charade going for me. I know this isn’t going to last forever. I promise to stay out of your way until this is over with. I told Matt I would stay, but if we can’t be pleasant to each other, then I will go and you will be rid of me.”

  She had only intended on apologizing for making him pull the gash on his leg, but the rest of the words spilled from her lips before she realized what she was saying. Hand on his leg, half standing, Andrew froze at the flurry of words that flowed from Destiny. He sat back on the bed before he fell over.

  “You think I don’t want you here? What charade? It doesn’t get any more real than this. You, me, here.” He stumbled over the words, unable to clearly define his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he tried again.

  “You left because you thought everything between us was temporary? You did invade my life, and I’m glad you did. When I found you, I thought you were dead, and my first thought was what a tragic waste of a beautiful woman. Then, after you got better, talked to me and laughed with me, I could only imagine you being everywhere I was. I tried to imagine who I talked to before you, and I couldn’t think of anyone.”

  Disbelieving, shaking her head, she dismissed the words she wanted to hear.

  “When this is all over with and either I’m in prison or Charles is, you will go on with your life. Your family will go on. Everything for you will be exactly the same as it was before I landed in the middle of your sanctuary. That is, everything will be the same unless you get killed for being in the middle of my problems! You have so much to live for!”

  She wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but her anger grew by the second as she continued speaking, the words coming faster and deeper.

  “No one will even notice if I die up here on this mountain! If you hadn’t found
me, and I did die up here, the only people who would have even missed me would have been glad I was gone because then there wouldn’t be anyone standing in Charles’ way. You should have left me there! We would all be better off!”

  She screamed at him. Along the way, she lost total control of her own emotions and thoughts. Everything she held so firmly in check exploded around her. Her body shook as if she stepped on a live wire. He just had to understand. He was at risk having her around. Fear raged through her. Not fear for herself, but fear for Andrew. Blinded by her fury and dread, she melted into Andrew when he wrapped his solid strength around her. Weak, boneless, she remained upright not so much by the arms that firmly yet comfortingly held her, but by the inner confidence and strength that radiated from within Andrew like a magnet holding her in place.

  Defenses shattered around her. Even if this was a fantasy, only for this moment in time, she would take it. She would hold onto him and live in the dream. Then let go when the time came. Afraid of what she would see, she lifted her eyes to his. The gold shimmered with emotions she could not identify. Twin glimmers of light and hope, leading down the twisty path to his bottomless soul. Fleeting thoughts of growing old with him and still being astounded by him fluttered through her. Mentally slapping herself, she forced down any notions of life tomorrow or the day after. Only here and now.

  He took her to the bed with him, gently and lovingly using his caresses and kisses to remove the mental chains she used to bind her mind and heart, making love to her until they were both exhausted.

  One way or another, he would prove to her that life contained so many possibilities. Hopes and dreams. Everything she had given up on and closed out of her life. They could all be hers again if she would allow him in and let him stay there.

  On the verge of sleep, his body pleading for rest after the sleepless night and long day, Andrew still didn’t release her.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Destiny.” He whispered as he drifted off.

  22.