Broken: Secrets in Madison Falls

by Rachel Hanna

  Chapter 10

  As the days moved on, Bella settled into her role as Ethan’s new mother better than she’d thought she would. She still thought she was a poor substitute for Lori, of course, but she was trying her best.

  Ethan went back to school and was doing better, thanks in large part to Grant looking out for him. Thankfully, the bully got moved to another class, which meant that Ethan didn’t encounter him very often. Bella was thankful because she was not known for being able to hold her tongue, and she was considering making a visit to his parents.

  She and Ethan had continued eating dinner with Grant several nights a week. It had become a comfortable routine for her, but she was determined not to let it go any further than friendship. Halloween had come and gone with Ethan dressing up in his Spiderman costume. Things were starting to get back to normal for him, and that was all Bella cared about.

  As the leaves turned from green to shades of orange, yellow and brown, Bella started to feel more antsy. The holidays were always the hardest time of the year for her. She felt a void every single year as she watched friends and co-workers enjoy memories with their own families. For the last two years, she’d sat in her small California apartment eating a reheated TV dinner while her friends had their big Thanksgiving dinners. She was always invited places, but she just couldn’t do it. As she got older, the sense of loss plagued her more and more, and she could no longer trust her own emotions while sitting at the table with strangers.

  “So, Bella, tell me more about living in California,” Grant said one night over lasagna at his house. Ethan was playing video games while Grant and Bella finished eating.

  “What about it?” she asked, feeling that familiar pit in her stomach at the mention of California.

  “Well, I’ve never been further West than Texas, so I was just wondering what it’s like.”

  “It’s different than Georgia, that’s for sure. A lot of nice people, healthy people, plastic people. It’s quite a variety,” she said smiling.

  “Did you, um… have a boyfriend out there?” he asked, looking down at his plate. Was that nervousness she was sensing? Oh no. He had the wrong idea. He wanted to date her?

  “No, no boyfriends.”

  “Really? I’m surprised,” he said, looking at her and cocking his head.

  “Why are you surprised?” she asked, feeling sure that her cover was blown. She must look like a slut even with little makeup and her hair in a ponytail. Would she ever shake that “look” of hers that said she got around?

  “Because you’re stunning, Bella. I would think men would be chasing after you asking for your phone number.” Was that a compliment? A real compliment from a man?

  Bella choked on her bite of lasagna and took a sip of her tea. “Thanks…” was all she could manage to say.

  “Surely you know how beautiful you are?” he asked, obviously surprised at her shocked reaction. Bella had never thought she was beautiful. Maybe it was the fact that she never had a mother or father to tell her how pretty she was or to buy her frilly dresses. Maybe it was being used by her foster brothers for three years. Maybe it was working in the porn industry and being used by every man she met. What kind of value could she possibly place on herself? Being beautiful to other people had been a negative thing throughout her life. It caused her to get unwanted attention and allowed her to degrade herself for money. “Bella? You still with me?”

  “Yeah. Sorry…” she said, realizing that she looked a million miles away. “We should get this cleaned up. I’ve got to get Ethan in bed soon,” she said standing up as she reached for her plate. Grant reached out and grabbed her forearm lightly.

  “Bella? What is it??”

  “Grant, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t talk about all of my feelings like you do. No offense,” she said as he released his grip, and she walked to the sink.

  “I’m just trying to help you,” he said, standing up and facing her.

  “I’m not some charity case, Grant. I’m just a woman working through the death of her sister and learning to be a mother. I don’t need pity.”

  “Is that what you think this is, Bella? Pity?” he asked in a sharp whisper as he walked closer to her.

  “Isn’t it? You cook me and Ethan dinner almost daily. Don’t you feel sorry for me?” she asked, staring at him closely.

  “No. I’m starting to feel sorry for me, though,” he said with a frustrated laugh.

  “Then what is it?” she asked, crossing her arms as she leaned back on the counter.

  “Did living in California make you dense?” he asked, crossing his own arms.

  “Excuse me?”

  Grant walked toward her and put his hands on her shoulders as she slowly released her crossed arms. Her body tingled at his touch, and she hated it.

  “Bella, I invite you over for dinner because I enjoy spending time with you. I ask you questions because I want to know you better. It has nothing to do with feeling pity or trying to fix you. I swear, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that you’ve never dated anyone in your life,” he said, shaking his head.

  Dating? What was he talking about? Was he crazy? Bella didn’t date. Well, actually Desiree didn’t date, but he didn’t know Desiree existed.

  “Grant, I’m not in a position to date anyone right now…” she started to say, trying to figure out a way to tactfully turn him down. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted to him. He was handsome, chivalrous and a hell of a good cook. But, she also knew that she had to devote her attention to Ethan and no one else. And she had grown to care for both Grant and Roslyn. The last thing she wanted to do was drag them into her world.

  “I know that, Bella. I wasn’t asking for a relationship. I was just letting you know that I like spending time with you. There’s no ulterior motive for me saying that I think you’re beautiful,” he said. She wondered how he knew just what to say. “I don’t know what happened to you in California, Bella, but you need to know that you’re stunning. And kind. And a plenty good mother to Ethan.”

  “How do you do that?” she asked looking down as her cheeks blushed.

  “Do what?”

  “Know just what to say?” she said softly as their eyes connected.

  “I’m just gifted, I suppose,” he said with a grin. The thought of what other areas he might be gifted in sent her cheeks into blushing mode again. “Are you blushing, Bella?”

  “No!” she said, waving her hand in front of her face.

  “I think you are,” he said poking at her in the side until she was in hysterical laughter. “And ticklish too! Ethan, your aunt Bella is ticklish!” he called to Ethan who came running to join in the fun. Within minutes, Bella was on the kitchen floor, red faced and laughing harder than she had in years.

  ***

  Bella drove into town on her way to work at the coffee shop. Overnight, the square had been turned into the epitome of autumn. From scarecrows to bales of hay, the Harvest Festival preparations were in full swing. In just two days, the festival would take place, and families from across the area would descend on Madison Falls for fun family memories. Apple bobbing, funnel cakes and hay rides would abound during the one day festival that the whole area waited for each year.

  And Bella was dreading it. She knew Ethan wanted to go because Lori took him each year, and she couldn’t let him down.

  “Morning, Bella!” Roslyn called from the back room of the coffee shop as Bella arrived at work.

  “Good morning,” Bella said as she put her purse under the counter and tied on her apron.

  “Did ya see the decorations for the Harvest Festival on your way in?”

  “I did,” Bella said trying not to make eye contact. Roslyn could see right through her.

  “You are taking Ethan, aren’t you?” Roslyn asked as she prepared a new pot of coffee.

  “Of course. He wants to go, so I’ll take him.”

  “Don’t you want to go, Bella? It’s a lot of fun,” Roslyn said with a hint of
desperation in her voice. Bella knew that she only wanted her to be happy, and she wished that she could make everyone happy.

  “Ros, I’m just not into that kind of stuff. I much prefer quiet evenings at home with a cup of coffee and a good book,” Bella said, trying to make up an excuse why all the family stuff wasn’t her thing.

  “Bella, can I say something, as a friend?”

  “Sure. You’re one of my best friends here, Roslyn,” Bella said fully prepared that she wasn’t going to like what Roslyn had to say.

  “I get the feeling that you’ve had a challenging past,” she started. “But, maybe Madison Falls is your new beginning. Sometimes opening up to new things and new emotions will set you free,” she said. Before Bella could say anything, three customers walked in and placed orders.

  ***

  Bella walked into Ethan’s school to have lunch with him on Friday. It was parent day at school, and she was all he had. Poor kid, she thought.

  When she rounded the corner, she saw Ethan sitting with Howie at a table in the corner. They both had bagged lunches and were laughing at something obviously hysterical to seven year olds.

  “Hey, Ethan!” she said trying to sound excited about eating cafeteria food at an elementary school.

  “Aunt Bella!” Ethan said, grinning as he stood up and hugged her.

  “Hi there, Howie. Where’s your mom?” Bella asked.

  “She had to work,” he said with a hint of sadness.

  “Oh. Well, she must be working extra hard since Christmas is coming up!” Bella said, trying to make him feel better. Howie’s eyes brightened up at the thought of Christmas presents.

  “I bet she is!” Howie said with a huge grin. With that, the boys started talking about Legos and every other thing they wanted for Christmas. As Bella listened, her stomach churned a bit as she thought about how she would afford gifts on a coffee shop budget. This was the first time in two years that she had to really worry about money, and now there was another mouth to feed.

  “Hey there,” she heard Grant say from behind her. “I didn’t know you were coming today.” Bella stepped away from the table while the boys chatted about every toy under the sun.

  “Yeah, your sweet grandma gave me the day off today,” she said with a smile.

  “Don’t let her fool you. She can be a ruthless woman,” he said, winking at her. Sometimes his winks and grins made her toes curl, but she hated to admit that to herself. She was in control. She was in control.

  “Well, maybe she just likes me more than she likes you.”

  “I’d bet on that,” he said, laughing. “I have something for you.” She hadn’t realized he was holding his hand behind his back.

  “Oh, yeah? I love surprises!” she said, grinning like a kid. “What is it?” He pulled a plastic-wrapped sandwich and a bag of chips from behind his back. “What’s this?”

  “Lunch. I made an extra one in case you came today. You probably don’t want to eat the cafeteria food. I know how particular you are about what you eat,” he said with a sly grin. “You can get a Coke in the machine over there. Do you need change?”

  “There you go taking care of me again,” she grumbled sarcastically. She had to admit it was nice to have someone care about her for a change. “Seriously. Thank you.” Her eyes cut to the line against the wall where other parents looked like they were going to jail while they waited for their plastic trays of inedible food.

  “It’s fun.”

  “What’s fun?”

  “Trying to take care of you. Always a challenge, Bella… See ya later,” he said, backing up and waving as he headed toward his class. Bella stood there for a moment trying to stifle the grin that was welling up from her heart to her face. What had just happened? She wasn’t sure, but she knew she was playing fast and loose with her heart.

  Chapter 11

  “Come on, Aunt Bella! I want to get there in time to bob for apples!” Ethan demanded in typical seven year old style Saturday afternoon. It was time for the Harvest Festival, and he wasn’t going to be late.

  “I’m coming, buddy. Chill out!” she said as she messed with her hair. She hadn’t worn it down since arriving in Madison Falls, but it was getting cold out and her ponytail wouldn’t do anymore. Wearing an emerald green, form-fitting sweater and jeans, Bella fit right into the mountain town. Thankfully, she wasn’t much bigger than Lori, so raiding her modest closet was a godsend. Bella was bigger up top, but a boob job was the reason for that. Her former job required her to look perkier than the average woman, and surgery was the only way to accomplish that. As she slid on her cowboy boots, she realized that she’d finally settled into mountain life.

  Bella grabbed a coat for herself and for Ethan and opened the front door. She almost screamed when she saw Grant standing right in her face.

  “You scared me to death!” she yelled, holding her chest.

  “Sorry. I was about to ring the bell,” he said, laughing. His eyes went from her boots all the way up to her ample blond hair. “Wow…”

  “What?” she asked as Ethan pushed past them and ran outside to climb the tree in their front yard.

  “You look fantastic. I like your hair like that,” he said, reaching out and touching it. She froze in place in an effort to stay unaffected. It didn’t work.

  “Thanks,” she said as she turned and pulled the door shut behind her. “What’re you doing here?”

  “Aren’t you going to the Harvest Festival?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t tell you that, Grant,” she said, smirking.

  “Well, in this economy, it seems smarter to carpool whenever possible, don’t ya think?” he asked. She shook her head and laughed, knowing that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. With that, she and Ethan got into his car.

  ***

  The town square was lit up unlike anything Bella had ever seen. There were hundreds of people walking up and down the sidewalks. Country music mixed with Christmas music blared from big speakers under the pavilion where people were dancing. Ethan immediately gravitated to the apple bobbing station where he saw Howie and his mother, Sharon. As if on cue, Sharon offered to take Ethan off her hands for a while, and Bella was left alone with Grant.

  They walked slowly around the square, chatting about random things. Hands firmly in her pockets, Bella vowed not to reveal any more about her past for fear that she might slip up and say something that would lead Grant to know about her porn history.

  “So, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” he asked.

  “No plans. I figure I’ll try to cook something for me and Ethan maybe.”

  “What’d you do out in California when Thanksgiving came around?” he asked as they stopped in front of a table with apple cider on it. He took two and handed one to Bella. The warmth was just what she needed on the cold autumn evening.

  “Well, I’d usually eat a TV dinner.” As soon as she’d said it, she was sorry.

  “Seriously? Why?” he asked, stopping and sitting down on a rock wall.

  “No family. I think we’ve covered that, Grant.”

  “What about friends?”

  “I had a few friends, but I’m not one who likes to be at big family events.”

  “Because you didn’t have that family experience of your own?” She could tell he was really trying to understand her.

  “I guess so. I tried once or twice to hang out with friends and their families, but it always felt uncomfortable to me. I felt judged…” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to reel them back in.

  “Judged? For what?” he asked in confusion.

  “You know, this poor girl who lost her mom at eight years old and grew up in foster care…”

  “You should never be judged for that, Bella. You couldn’t help that. I think you’re too hard on yourself.”

  “Oh, really? I don’t think I’m hard enough on myself.”

  “Why do you want to punish yourself?” he asked.

  “Who says I’m punishing m
yself?” It was getting way too real for Bella.

  “It’s obvious, Bella. You deserve good things. A good life. People who love you…”

  “I’ve made some big mistakes in my life, Grant. You have no idea who you’re talking to. I don’t deserve nearly as much as you think.”

  “Have you murdered someone?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Stolen?”

  “Nope.”

  “Then you deserve whatever kind of second chance you need. End of story. Now come on…” he said as he took her empty cup and threw it away. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her down the sidewalk and into the pavilion that was blaring with music. Without warning, Grant pulled her close and started dancing with her. Thankfully, the music was fast, and she was a pretty good dancer. They laughed as they danced, and for once Bella felt like her real world was miles away.