The Fifth Gospel

by Grubb, Michelle

  “What? No. Don’t be completely daft. I didn’t mean that. I just meant…” Anna turned bright red.

  Flic shook her head. She was lost.

  “I mean that you’ll have to make it happen.”

  Flic shrugged, clueless.

  “Really? Do I have to spell it out for you? The burden rests with you.”

  “The burden? What burden?”

  Luckily, Anna had put her tea down because she threw her arms in the air. “I could throttle you sometimes.” She took a deep breath. “You’ll have to make us happen. I’ve not had any experience in this before. I’m sorry.”

  “Oh my God. I’m sorry. Of course.” A sense of relief washed over Flic like an incoming wave, but when it receded, all that remained was Anna’s distorted face of anguish. She went to her. “Please don’t worry about that—”

  “But I am worried.”

  “I understand, but I want to reassure you there really is nothing to worry about.” She kissed Anna on the cheek.

  “You sound so sure.”

  “I am sure.”

  “How?” Anna attempted to rub the tension from her forehead.

  Flic went to light the small log burner. “Because by the time we get round to any of that naughty stuff, you’ll be gagging for it.” She promptly threw up her arms in defense of the barrage of pillows Anna hurled her way.

  “Felicity Bastone, you’re uncouth.”

  “I’m kidding.” Flic tackled Anna onto the sofa. “Well, maybe only just a little.” Anna punched her. “But please don’t worry. I have a hunch we have a long time to get to know each other.”

  Anna glanced around at the safe house.

  “Not just in here. I think you and I have a long time in general.”

  “It scares me though, to be honest.”

  “Which bit?” Flic maneuvered them to cuddle comfortably. She crossed her fingers and hoped she wasn’t overstepping the mark. She held her breath until Anna relaxed.

  “Falling in love,” said Anna.

  Flic swallowed hard and loud, suppressing the urge not to choke on her own saliva. “Are you falling in love with me?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe is good.”

  “Are you falling in love with me?”

  “Maybe. Actually, it’s a maybe with a possibly definitely undertone.”

  “For an author and journalist, you have an appalling command of the English language.”

  Flic returned to the fire to tend its dwindling flame.

  “I should kick your arse for coming here and putting yourself in danger.”

  Anna laughed. “I’m sure we’re safe now.”

  Flic stared out the window over the green fields with cows and beyond to the sea. “That’s what I thought last time. But they found me.” She turned to Anna, tears in her eyes. “They always keep finding me.”

  “Oh, hey. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how you must feel being hunted. But this time, I’m sure it’ll be okay. The police are thorough, and they’ll catch them soon.”

  “They caught one last night.”

  “Exactly. And they’ll catch the others, too. Please try not to worry. You are in the safest place. You have to believe that.”

  “I’m beginning to wonder if I’d have been better off just disappearing myself.”

  “Yes, that’s a good plan. No police protection, and how on earth was I going to find you?”

  “The plan has flaws, I admit.” Flic smiled to reassure Anna it was okay.

  She changed the subject. “How’s the book doing?”

  They both settled on the sofa while Anna shared everything she knew regarding book sales, future tour plans, and of course the Love is Love campaign. The success of the book was certainly phenomenal, and although she had been thankful for the break, she really wanted to be back out there talking to people and spreading a positive message.

  Fine drizzle began to obscure the view from the window, and they opted for the comfort of the sitting room for most of the day. It was true that if you didn’t go out in the rain in England, you might not go out for days, but it wasn’t the drizzle that kept them glued to each other in front of the fire.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  They spoke of a future where they each featured in the other’s, but neither made reference on how they might get there. Flic continually reminded herself that they had all the time in the world, and although the ball had been firmly placed in her court, she was determined not to rush anything. It was a delicate situation.

  So, it was with great surprise to find, after two bottles of red, that Anna’s hand slid down her thigh as they lay side by side on the sofa.

  Flic flinched. Anna’s hand gently stroking her inner thigh was the last thing she was expecting.

  “I feel butterflies in my tummy,” said Anna. She smiled, but her breathing had changed.

  Flic cupped her face and drew it toward her. Their lips met, but this time it was a tender, elongated touch. Had Anna’s hand not been gently massaging her leg, Flic might not have taken things further, but it had been a long time since someone stirred such deep feelings. And Anna had started it. Hell, Flic had intended to wait weeks before she touched Anna in any of her sexy spots. She hadn’t been entirely sure how she was going to achieve such abstinence, but it had certainly been her intention. Intentions be damned. She reached down to unbutton her jeans.

  She paused to gauge Anna’s reaction. Besides her cheeks flushing an even brighter red, she didn’t shy away.

  Flic made a dash for second base and guided Anna’s hand inside her jeans, on top of her underwear. Because it had been so long since she’d felt this aroused, the moisture in her pants shocked her.

  They kissed again, and this time Flic pushed her tongue inside Anna’s mouth. She noticed the hand between her legs press harder against her. Oh, sweet Jesus!

  “A first time together doesn’t count, right?” said Anna. It was more of a statement than a question. “I mean, they get better, so forgive me if it’s a bit rubbish.”

  “Nonsense. You’ll be fine.” Flic couldn’t see how anything Anna was about to do could be judged as rubbish. “Plus give yourself a break. This might not be our first time; it might just be fooling around. There’s no pressure.”

  Anna had already made her wet, made her heart beat as fast as a galloping racehorse, and her head was giddy with passion.

  Anna’s fingers found her clit. Through her pants, it was probably just a lucky stroke, but there it was. Flic gathered herself long enough to say, “Stop anytime if you don’t want to go on, okay?” It took all her willpower to pull away and look Anna in the eye. “I mean it.” She meant it, but she didn’t want it to stop.

  Flic was torn. She wanted to undress Anna, but at the same time, didn’t want Anna to remove her hand from beneath her jeans. And this scenario certainly wasn’t how she imagined this to play out. Not once did it occur to her that she would be at the mercy of Anna so early on.

  “I dreamt about this you know?” said Anna. “An actual dream.” She slipped her thumb under the band of Flic’s knickers. A long way under the band. “In it, you took me to bed and made me feel the most incredible things.”

  Flic could barely breathe. “I can do that, if you like.”

  “I’d like to touch you first, if that’s okay.” Flic managed a nod. She fleetingly remembered her first time and how, oddly, it was easier to touch than be touched.

  Anna’s entire hand disappeared down Flic’s pants.

  “Oh, Jes…” Flic’s voice trailed off, firstly because she remembered it probably wasn’t a good thing to mention Jesus at this point, and secondly because Anna was succeeding in taking her breath away.

  The scene was exquisite. Flic lay on her back, her jeans pushed down to her thighs, her knickers bunching there too. She was squirming. Anna lay propped beside her, her fingers playing dangerously with Flic’s opening.

  Although Flic’s desire was powerful, she wanted to show Anna she was doing
it right. She placed her hand over Anna’s and guided a finger inside her.

  Thankfully, Anna was a quick learner.

  “Put in a second,” whispered Flic.

  Whether it was a fluke or by design, as Anna slowly pumped her fingers rhythmically in and out, the palm of her hand applied just the right amount of pressure on Flic’s clit. All the stresses of the last twenty-four hours faded into oblivion. The only thing occupying Flic’s mind was the generous and gentle fucking she was receiving at the hands of Anna.

  “You sure you’ve never done this before?” asked Flic.

  “In my mind, I’ve done this to you a thousand times.” Anna increased the tempo.

  “Well, in my mind, this scenario unfolded rather differently indeed.”

  Anna silenced Flic with her lips in a deep and sensual kiss.

  All Flic could do was close her eyes and enjoy the ride. She never once imagined her first time with Anna would be like this, nor would it be so soon. It had never occurred to her that Anna was ready now, and had she been honest, she’d been worried that being intimate with her might feel a little creepy because she might be persuading her to do new things. Things she might have perceived as unnatural in the past.

  Flic doubted Anna was feeling unnatural now.

  Anna was reacting to every change in Flic’s body—her breathing, the increased pulse of thrusting, and as Flic drew near to orgasm, Anna moved faster and pumped her fingers deeper inside. With the final thrusts hitting directly on Flic’s G-spot, she cried out loudly, but briefly, allowing the breathtaking wave of completeness to engulf her.

  Flic finally caught her breath. “Surely that can’t be a sin?”

  Anna went to remove her finger.

  “Please, not yet?”

  “I know it’s taken me a while to see it, but I’m quite sure that the Lord would never have wanted to deny anyone the ability to connect with another human being in an act of love.” Anna remained inside Flic and nestled into her neck.

  Flic knew Anna would never be capable of sex if love weren’t involved. The all-consuming emotions of true love were impossible to suppress. Of course you could ignore them or wait years until you’d turned bitter and the love had finally faded, but there was no off switch. There was nothing on earth that could compare to it, and once true love had a hold on you, to share it was the most beautiful feeling.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  Anna nodded. “Of course.”

  “Did that…Just now, did…Did what we just did, you know, did that turn you on?”

  Anna whispered something, but Flic couldn’t make out the words.

  “Pardon?”

  “Why don’t you find out?” Anna was barely audible.

  Flic reached between her legs and slowly removed Anna’s fingers from inside her. Severing their connection, even if only for a moment, left her feeling empty—physically and in her heart. She quickly stood and removed her clothing, standing naked in front of Anna.

  “You’re beautiful,” said Anna.

  Flic smiled but remained silent. She realized she could tell Anna how she felt a thousand times over, but showing her and letting her feel her love was how it should be, especially this first time.

  There were so many ways she wanted to take Anna, and in the fullness of time, she would explore those and many more. But tonight she wanted Anna to feel her tenderness, to look her in the eye as she made her come and witness Flic making love to her.

  Flic maneuvered Anna into a sitting position. She gently pulled her jumper from her and then her T-shirt. Anna sat staring up at her in a pink lace bra. Flic pushed her knees apart just enough to kneel between them. She kissed both sides of Anna’s neck and unclasped the bra from behind. A fantasy flashed in her mind of coming home from work one day and taking Anna over the back of the sofa without saying a word. Moisture coated the inside of her thigh. She would worship Anna, in body and mind.

  She traced a line from Anna’s belly, up between her breasts and then around the back of her neck before she took a nipple in her mouth. Anna’s response was nothing short of outstanding.

  “Oh, shit.”

  A flash of reality hit Flic. Anna’s nipple was in her mouth. She was about to make love to her. The thought was blissful.

  With her tongue encircling Anna’s firm nipple, she negotiated the button on Anna’s jeans before she unzipped them. Loathe to break the connection, she took the jeans by the ankles and pulled them off.

  “Can we turn off the lamp?” Anna sounded timid, but determined.

  Flic switched off the light and was pleased the fire radiated a steady glow. She didn’t want to frighten Anna, but she wanted to see her.

  Flic stood between Anna’s legs and tipped her chin to face her. She smiled reassuringly before she pulled Anna into a standing position. She slipped her hands down the back of her knickers and they kissed. Now Anna portrayed a sense of urgency, and Flic knew the time was right. She lowered herself to the ground to kneel before her. She wanted the first thing Anna felt between her legs to be her tongue.

  Anna was trim and inviting. Flic encouraged her to lift one foot onto the sofa, opening herself. As she took Anna’s bottom in both hands, Flic licked her from deep inside her opening slowly to her clit where she applied pressure and felt Anna go weak at the knees.

  The only encouragement Flic needed was Anna’s lightning fast hand gripping the back of her hair and pushing her face deeper between her legs.

  “Will you….touch me?”

  It was the last thing Flic expected to hear so soon. Her seduction was intended to be slow, but it was too soon in their exploration of each other to make Anna wait. Ready to share with Anna what she knew she needed, Flic dipped her tongue deep inside her then pulled away to sit on the sofa. She encouraged Anna toward her and guided her into a kneeling position over her lap. Spreading her own legs a little wider, she in turn spread Anna’s.

  Flic rested a hand on Anna’s hip and rested two fingers just beyond her opening. With a nod of encouragement and with downward pressure on her hip, Flic lowered Anna onto her fingers and she pushed them inside her fully.

  Anna let out a gasp of satisfaction. Flic loved that moment when she was finally entered; it was encouraging that Anna did too.

  With her arm firmly around Anna’s waist, and a nipple between her lips and teeth, Flic pushed her fingers in and out of Anna encouraging her to ride her hand, which Anna instinctively did.

  With a cry that she was sure would summon the police officer that had remained in the house, Anna came hard and fast.

  “That was indescribable.” She twisted off Flic and collapsed on the sofa. “You’re amazing.”

  Flic smiled. What Anna had just allowed her to do was monumental, and she expected tears but none came. In fact, she released a sigh of relief as Anna grinned from ear to ear, and in the flickering fire light, she simply glowed.

  “I never imagined I’d feel like this.”

  “With a woman or at all?” Flic wanted to tread carefully.

  “At all.” Anna shrugged. “It’s always women in my fantasies. It never occurred to me that I might one day experience that fantasy for real.”

  Flic felt bold. “Can I admit something to you without scaring you?”

  “Go on.”

  “When I was stripping you naked, I imagined coming home from work and taking you over the back of the sofa the moment I walked in.”

  Anna shuddered. “There’s so many things I want to explore with you.”

  “Like what?”

  “First you have to understand that until I met you I had suppressed my fantasies and kept them very private. They’re real and certainly vivid, and they’re the only outlet I’ve had to express myself, and I was in constant angst about letting them surface or pushing them deep inside.” Anna was suddenly shy.

  “Please keep going. I won’t judge you.”

  “In bed at night I let scenarios play out in my mind. I don’t make a sound an
d I don’t move. I just lie there thinking of different ways you might…” Anna paused, lowered her eyes, and whispered. “Fuck me.”

  It sounded odd hearing Anna speak like that, but Flic dared not interrupt.

  “It’s been part of my confession when I go, of course. And other than confessing to inappropriate thoughts, I don’t elaborate, but I do admit it. When you’re alone and lonely you crave something, someone. Those fantasies are the only thing I have.”

  “Had.”

  Anna laughed. “Yes, it seems they’re coming true.”

  “And are you sure you’re okay about this? I mean, this is a huge leap for you.”

  “I never knew what it meant to be madly in love. But for the first time in my life, I felt out of control and I loved it. Fancy liking the feeling of lack of control. Fancy me liking that feeling. I talked to Seb about it. I really was going bonkers, and he helped me see that it was you who sent my world spinning. It’s always been girls and not boys that interested me, but until you came along, I honestly thought it didn’t matter because I felt I would never fall in love, never act on my feelings, and never have to worry about it.” Sadness drained her face. “Then it occurred to me that the pope might have felt that way about the Camerlengo. Then I imagined a life without love. I imagined my life without you, and it made me so sad.”

  “You’ve done a lot of thinking and soul searching since I’ve been away.” Flic stroked Anna’s belly. “I’m glad you did.”

  “I thought I understood love just by reading and hearing about it. But no one understands love until you experience it.”

  Flic kissed her on the cheek. “I’m glad you’ve let me love you.”

  “You really love me?”

  “Of course.” Flic laughed. “Who the hell am I kidding playing it cool? I’ve loved you for a long time.”

  “I couldn’t have done this if I didn’t love you, you know that?”

  “I know.” Flic raised her eyebrows. “So?”

  Anna hid her face behind her hands. She peaked through a crack between her fingers before finally allowing her hands to fall. “So I love you more than anything.”