The Accidental Archmage

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  “Come on, Habrok, it’s not slimy,” the mage called out to the ranger.

  Habrok gingerly took his seat and took hold of the protrusion in front of him. Tyler could hear the thankful sigh of the man.

  “Feels like a horse,” Habrok commented.

  Apu Rumi speedily took off, surprising the mage. He had expected a slow crawl up the temple due to the creature’s form. Instead, it felt like they were rapidly sliding up the stone steps. Only the slimy image the creature maintained, complete with four antennas, continued to give him that instinctive, repulsive reaction to the form.

  When they reached the flat area on top of the temple, Apu Rumi reverted to its warrior mode, though in a shorter but broader version. Tyler looked at the small plain beyond the deep chasm. HIs enhanced eyesight could make out the rows of Aztecah warriors. Three long lines were arranged one behind the other and were facing them. More soldiers were emerging from the fragmented landscape behind the armed and armored array. Some were dragging heavy equipment. Others were on wagons. The mage could see that the arriving columns extended way beyond the flattened hills. From his vantage point, the whole spectacle looked like the arrival of an army of ants. Observing the horde massing beyond the bridge, he could make out the war leaders directing the newcomers to their designated positions. Behind the arranged lines of warriors was a small group of men, more colorfully attired than the rest. And on both flanks of the assembly were tall creatures, dark in hue. The Yahuis.

  Despite himself, Tyler felt a growing unease tinged with fear. He had a healthy respect for the abilities of the creature, primarily on how difficult it was to kill it the first time he encountered one. He looked at Habrok.

  “They’ve got Yahui, Habrok. Around thirty or so,” he told the man. Notwithstanding his efforts, some of the despondency showed in his voice.

  “Yahui? Like the one who tried to kiss you back at Akrotiri?” replied the ranger. Habrok seemed to miss the downcast timbre of the mage’s voice.

  “Exactly.”

  “Ah. I wish Jorund were here. Thirty or so? Now, that’s a fight. Time for me to see the effectiveness of the moves I had worked out for them. Spent a lot of time thinking about it too. Even Jorund came up with a fighting style for the ugly bastards.”

  Tyler was startled at Habrok’s answer. It was one he didn’t expect. To some extent, it did make him feel guilty about his current state of depression. Outnumbered, cornered, and yet the ranger wasn’t concerned about the odds, only about what damage he could inflict on the enemy. But then again, it could be misplaced confidence in Tyler’s abilities.

  “You’re not scared at all? There’s a lot of them out there,” Tyler gestured towards the Aztecah horde.

  “Everybody dies at some point, sire,” replied Habrok. “It’s just a question of how one dies. When facing a host of enemies like this one, then it becomes a matter of how dearly you will let them pay for disturbing you. And killing you, of course.”

  “How about our experiences so far? We lost Jorund. We never had a decent period to rest. Facing known and unknown enemies,” Tyler asked, his curiosity aroused. The man had endured the same ordeal, further burdened with the additional issue of sudden fatherhood.

  “One has to move forward, sire. One deals with life’s tafl. Jorund did say something about life being like passing through quicksand. If one stops, then one dies.”

  “I didn’t know you had a philosophical bent, Habrok,” joked Tyler.

  “Only a little, sire. It’s impossible not to think about what the world is all about and how one has to survive in it. And I found it better not to let men or creatures kill or eat me. A lot of women would be disappointed. That line of thinking makes it simpler for me.”

  “What would you be thinking now if you were in my place?” asked Tyler, now genuinely interested.

  “I believe it would be presumptuous for me to assume I know what your thoughts are, sire. I do know several burdens weigh heavily on you. Not only your quest. I think some powerful beings have imposed on your patience. Though I am not surprised. Powerful mortals usually attract unwelcome attention from godly beings. Wilan for one. I may be a simple ranger and a rogue to boot, but from what I have observed, I am not that stupid to believe that the old man is an ordinary mage, powerful as he may appear. He does show up at the oddest moments. I even doubt if the old man mage is mortal at all.”

  “Let’s assume you are me. What would you be thinking? Forget about that presumptuous part,” insisted Tyler. Though he also wanted to divert the discussion from the subject of Wilan.

  The ranger stood still for a while. Then he looked at the mage.

  “If I were in your place, sire, I would accept the situation as I found it and try to find the best way to survive any mess. Hopefully, with the end in my favor. If I can get more out of it, the better. Life is full of burdens, sire. We accept it as it is and take the good with the bad. Lumps and thorny issues included. There is always a solution to any problem. Even a treasure of a virgin guarded like a watchful dragon by her father could be seduced.”

  “Do you always have to reduce everything to the subject of women?” laughed Tyler.

  “Well, one does have to focus on something. With me, it’s women.”

  “Asem and Astrid?” prodded the mage.

  “No, no, and no. Too dangerous. One can burn me and my balls to a crisp on a whim, while the other can slice and dice me before I can blink my eyes. I avoid those types. And I don’t know if you noticed, sire, but those two are now as close as can be. The priestess apparently took on the role of being Astrid’s elder sister. Been teaching her some lore and tricks too. I offend one and I’ll end up with two after me.”

  “Did you see your son? Though I think the question should be – is he your son?” asked Tyler, referring to Astrid sister’s child.

  “Yep. Mine, without a doubt. Handsome as hell. Will have to go back from time to time to teach the tyke some tricks. It wouldn’t do to waste those good looks. And the escape tricks! Those are essential survival skills!”

  Tyler laughed then stopped abruptly. He realized that if he becomes an Elder Archmage, he will outlive Habrok. And all the womanizing problems of the ranger’s son will be on his shoulders. It was as if somebody dumped a bucket of cold water over him.

  Chapter Five

  Perilously Asinine

  “I don’t understand the discussion, First Mage,” a low and gravelly voice sounded from the back.

  The mage turned to the temple guardian. He was astounded that the creature was listening to them.

  “A human thing, Rumi. Relations between humans and mortal failings,” he replied.

  “Need to learn many things. Been guardian for a long time. No time or chance to study mortals.”

  “You will in time, Rumi. Just don’t let this fellow teach you. Which reminds me. I don’t see our forces being deployed, Habrok. I do glimpse some among the ruins near the chasm, but no battle line is visible.”

  “Tyndur and the rest agreed to the deployment, sire. There’s too many of those Aztecah, and they have heavy weapons. The chasm does not prevent the scorpions from picking off our men.”

  “Shit!” Tyler suddenly cursed as he remembered Viracocha’s advice. “I forgot to ask you to tell the leaders that the Yahui could jump the chasm!”

  “They can?” asked Habrok, his voice sounded ridiculously eager and apprehensive at the same time.

  “Yes. Go and tell Tyndur. They have to modify the deployment of warriors to meet the threat of jumpers. Tell him my suggestion is to have small Yahui hunting groups along the line. Preferably three spearmen, two archers, and a warrior with a close-range weapon to defend the group. Spread the word about the strengths and weaknesses of the creatures. As to mages, I guess they are in limited supply right now. But tell the commander that the bridge must remain down at all costs so position our magic-wielders accordingly. Go!”

  Habrok hurriedly went down the temple. As Tyler watched him go, Apu Rumi mov
ed closer to him.

  “What are Yahui?” asked Apu Rumi.

  “Aztecah creatures who regenerate lost limbs. Their sharp and hard claws defeat magical armor. The only way to kill them is to destroy the brain. One nearly killed me before. Extremely resistant to magical attacks too.”

  “Have meet them. Long ago. Food but not tasty. The shell cannot be eaten.”

  “Huh? You’ve met Yahui before? When?” asked the intrigued mage.

  “Long ago,” Apu Rumi repeated. “Before meeting father. Before the temple.”

  “I guess you’ve been around this world, Rumi. My apologies. I mistakenly assumed that you were based in the temple the entire time. I forgot what Viracocha told me.”

  “Was an animal before. No thought. Now learning. But the ones you call Yahui only found far to the south. Surprised they are here.”

  “The Aztecah brought them here, Rumi. To kill us and possibly take the temple,” said Tyler.

  Apu Rumi’s response to his statement was a gurgling sound which reverberated throughout its form, threatening to dissolve it to a gelatinous ooze. Tyler’s eyebrows lifted at the sight. OMG! he thought, Rumi is laughing?

  “Not enough Yahui to take temple,” Apu Rumi remarked after a few seconds.

  “If you say so, Rumi. But I do have to worry about the men down there. They depend on me to save their lives. The Aztecah might fail to take the temple but all of us, except you, of course, could die in the process.”

  “A burden? Burdens exist everywhere. Mine is the temple,” answered Apu Rumi, his form stabilizing.

  “I guess you could call it that. Can we go down now? But at the back of the temple. I would like to test some new abilities.”

  “As you command, First Mage,” answered the being as it transformed into the giant slug again, though this time with only one indentation on its back.

  The two swiftly went down the temple steps and moved to the rear of the structure. Beyond the perimeter of the stone grounds of the sanctuary was small field covered with grass and large shrubs, right before the thickets of towering trees. Tyler could see that the forest extended for about a mile before reaching the base of the mountains surrounding the ruined settlement.

  “Practice time, Rumi,” the mage commented as he dismounted. “But I suggest you stay at the back. I don’t even know how to work this new skill. My ignorance might be dangerous.”

  Apu Rumi, now in his warrior form, stepped back though Tyler again noticed the being’s shape was jiggling.

  Damn. He’s got a sense of humor? Well, he might turn into a laughing pile of ooze once I start, thought Tyler. At least, I don’t have to put up with sarcastic remarks such as those from Habrok if this experiment turns into a comedy.

  The mage looked at the ground and thought about the ability granted by the tablet they got from the dimensional Elder shrine. Manifesting physical shapes from inanimate material, Tyler recalled the formal title of the new power. I guess that means I can shape dirt, stone, and such things.

  The mage cleared his mind and tremulously released some energy in the direction of the soil fifty feet away. As he did so, Tyler realized the new skill granted him the capability to sense the composition of the ground down to some level. Encouraged, he began to increase the energy level.

  Around two feet down, he estimated. Though I believe the sensing ability will improve once I get the hang of this shaping thing.

  All he could detect was soil, mixed with different sizes of stones. The mage then released more energy into the dirt, trying to force it to move and shape itself into a large four-foot cube. The ground immediately responded, a wave of earth rose up and tried to form itself into what Tyler wanted.

  I’m doing it! exulted the mage. Though its form leaves a lot to be desired. It looks like a gummy.

  The almost-cube was clearly struggling to retain its form. Parts of it were shaken free by the movement of the soil but were again immediately absorbed by the forming shape. The construction was now shuddering violently.

  What am I doing wrong? It should have formed by now. I am pumping a lot of energy into it already! Tyler wondered.

  Suddenly, Apu Rumi dashed forward and in a split-second, shaped himself into a tall and thick wall in front of Tyler.

  The quivering cube abruptly exploded in a vicious flash of light. The enormous blast which accompanied the explosion deafened Tyler and noisily reverberated throughout the surrounding area. A thick mushroom-shaped plume of black and blue smoke rapidly rose to the sky. The startled mage’s enhanced eyesight could see balls of flame, streaks of violent energy waves, and mounds of dirt quickly erupting from his experiment as a result of the explosion. As the flash disappeared, he rapidly blinked his eyes, trying to clear his vision which was now dazzled by the sudden glare. The blinding blast was so bright that it permeated the dense and opaque form of Apu Rumi. When his eyesight improved, he could see a large and deep crater where the construct used to be. His ears were still ringing loudly from the detonation and clumps of dirt had fallen into his head.

  Again? his shocked mind told him.

  The mage could see several large stones and dirt embedded in the jellylike wall in front of him. Numerous dark spots marked the front of the wall facing the field.

  That blast could have killed me! Even with my shields! Tyler suddenly realized. Freaking suicide by stupidity!

  Apu Rumi’s gurgling sound reached his ears. Looking closely, he could see the being quivering again. And the intensity of the shaking was increasing.

  As Tyler’s stupefied mind tried to come to grips with the near-fatal result of the failed experiment, the gelatinous wall in front of him collapsed and quickly transformed back into the still quivering blocky shape of Apu Rumi. The powerful being stood quietly in front of the shocked mage though with an entertained smug smile on its face.

  “Thanks, Rumi,” he told the entity, his voice still a bit more high-pitched than he would have liked. He didn’t like the way Apu Rumi continued to quiver. Thankfully the pulpous spasms were diminishing.

  At least he’s not laughing out loud, thought Tyler. Then an errant suspicious thought came to the fore. But I believe the bastard knew something screwed was going to happen.

  “Did you know that was going to happen?” the mage asked the being, the query voiced in the calmest tone he could manage.

  “No, First Mage. But obvious you are in ignorance of the spell,” came the answer.

  “And when mages know little of what they are doing, bad things happen,” Apu Rumi then added, almost as an afterthought.

  “Was I that obvious?” mumbled Tyler.

  Apu Rumi didn’t answer and instead looked at the area behind the mage.

  “Visitor you have.”

  Tyler turned and looked at where Apu Rumi was staring.

  A few meters away was Viracocha, floating above the ground in his Wilan guise. The deity’s expression was mainly of concern though Tyler sensed a degree of irritation from the narrowed eyes. Then the mage suddenly realized he was on the god’s temple grounds. With a considerable crater his fumbling efforts created. There was no hiding the ugly scar on the green field surrounding the temple.

  “Oh. Hello, Wilan,” he nervously greeted the hovering being.

  Viracocha didn’t answer but instead slowly lowered himself to the field. As his feet touched the soil, Tyler could feel an imperceptible surge of energy going in the direction of the enormous hole. He turned his head and saw that the deep depression had disappeared as if nothing had happened. Grass even covered the area. The mage looked at the deity again.

  “I could ask you what happened but, in this circumstance, Rumi’s story would be more… illuminating,” said Wilan.

  Tyler kept quiet as the powerful entity glanced at Apu Rumi.

  “An experiment. A dangerously flawed approach to the use of an energy spell. You kept on pumping power to an unstable construct,” commented Wilan after several seconds. The deity then looked at the temple and slowly shoo
k his head.

  “I sensed a massive eruption near the temple. In the middle of preparations for an impending clash of pantheons, I had to leave and investigate. And I found you,” he added.

  “Sorry about that, Viracocha. I didn’t know that was going to happen. I mean, shaping energy into solid forms? Who thought that was dangerous?” said Tyler.

  “First Mage, anything to do with magic is dangerous. It’s an energy form. Unique and extremely powerful. Fire is an energy form, and it could kill as well as cook food. There is a reason why mages undergo a long period of study and reflection. Long, as in decades of learning the principles and limits of the power they are going to wield. Unfortunately, I get a human barely wet behind the ears who knows almost nothing about the magical energy at his command.”

  “I apologized already, Viracocha,” said Tyler. “Don’t rub it in. I didn’t ask to be here on this world and its… magic. There’s nothing more I would like than to be back home minding my own business.”

  “I know. But you do have to be a lot more careful. Magic has rules and principles behind it. I hate to see you kill yourself by mere stupidity. Your lack of knowledge makes you a dangerous man, First Mage. Not as bad as a novice bowman holding the weapon backward, but you are near that level.”

  Shit. Suicide by stupidity. My very own words, thought Tyler.

  “Allow me to point out the errors in your experiment. First, you focused on shaping the energy. Even Rumi could tell you that’s not the way to do it. Second, you kept on forcing power into the shape. There’s a limit on the energy any form can take. Forcing more and more into a defined and already unstable structure breaks down its original composition, creating a chain reaction and in the process, releasing more energy. The result is what you saw. Infusing energy into a big enough shape would be enough to sink the eastern lands of Adar. Not that you’ll survive the process. Thankfully, only one human has that ability. Though he’s perilously asinine,” Viracocha explained in a weary tone.