The Accidental Archmage

by Edmund A. M. Batara

  “You’re confusing me, Hal,” replied the mage.

  “Think about what I said. At a decisive moment, you’ll find that a decision has to be made. Do you decide according to the traditions, wishes, or orders of others, or do you act according to your personal beliefs? Add to that the age-old question, will you slay thousands to save millions? Such issues become crucial when the person is somebody like you – a mortal who usually finds himself in a decisive moment. A human whose choices will affect mortals and deities alike.”

  “No shit, Waldo. I just mentioned that I feel like a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I get a lecture and a bigger boulder for me to carry. And you’re wrong about that decisive moment description. In my situation, it’s more like ‘wrong person, right place, and the right time.’ You did notice how I stumbled along and got out of sphincter-tightening situations by luck or through panicked decisions.”

  “And yet you survived. To the great discomfiture of this world’s enemies,” said X.

  “I do hate metaphysical discussions. Let’s stop now before I get another migraine. Anyway, I promise to think on what you guys said,” remarked Tyler. The conversation was liable to take longer than he wanted. If there’s anything the mage desired at the moment, it was to go to Fossegrim Forest. He’ll think things through in more pleasant and less stressful surroundings.

  But a thought suddenly arose in his mind.

  Viracocha didn’t appear surprised at what happened in Tamoanchan. He knew it was me who was responsible for it. He even rushed back here. The old codger does know something about Elder abilities. Not that he’ll say it outright. Still a miser with information. Never mind. I’ve got Fossegrim waiting for me, reflected the mage.

  Tyler reached to his belt bag and crushed one of the small runic plates. A slight disorientation and his surroundings changed. It was midday. The air smelled clean, a gentle refreshing breeze ruffled his hair, and before him were the familiar tall trees of the edge of Fossegrim Forest. He visibly relaxed, closed his eyes, and let himself enjoy the pleasant surroundings.

  Time to call Eira, he thought as he strode towards the waiting trees.

  “Hey, Havard! What are you doing here?” A loud and familiar voice called out.

  Extremely surprised, he turned to his right and saw three figures exiting the trees.

  It was Rumpr, Dionysus, and a slender woman with blonde hair. The two deities wore their usual clothes, but the woman was wearing strange golden scale armor which covered her body though she didn’t have a helm. A sword was in a sheath by her side.

  For some reason, Tyler suddenly felt an overwhelming fear and an overpowering desire to run away as fast as he could.

  Chapter Twenty

  Forest Interlude

  Tyler was in a dilemma. Rumpr and Dionysus were there, entities he considered his friends. On the other hand, his deepest instincts were screaming at him to run away. To quickly teleport as he possibly can. As far away as the ability would take him. Never mind the obstructing trees.

  He did the next best thing. The mage stayed where he was, and waved his hand by way of a greeting, though his legs were already threatening to collapse. As the three neared, Tyler could feel buffeting waves of fear and terror rocking his mind.

  “Hal! What the fuck is this?”

  “The fuck is that Seeming with Rumpr and Dionysus. A very powerful creature. A draken. We are building up your mental defenses, Elder. No telling what that being would do. They love secrets, among other things. And secrets you have aplenty.”

  The mage immediately felt the balm of a mind swiftly recovering from waves of unbelievable dread.

  “It’s not an attack, Elder. Just her natural aura,” continued X. “At our level, she’s too powerful for us. We can give her a run for her money though.”

  Using modern figures of speech? My guides are acting more and more human, observed the mage. Wait a minute. That’s her natural aura? I can’t even imagine how bad an intentional mental attack would be! No wonder fear and terror were synonymous with such ancient beings!

  “A pleasant surprise!” exclaimed Rumpr when they reached him.

  “I agree. My thanks for what you have already done,” added Dionysus with a grin. “Serves those blood-eaters right!”

  Still a deity version of Tyndur, thought Tyler.

  “Likewise,” replied the mage. “This is an unexpected happy surprise.”

  “And this is…” Rumpr attempted to say. The elemental paused and then continued. “Guile.”

  Guile. Two syllables, noted Tyler. Hold on. Rumpr mentioned something before about a draken friend of theirs. For the life of me, I can’t remember the name! At the tip of my tongue… It’s Gullen!

  The mage inclined his head towards the stranger. Guile smiled.

  “Polite,” the draken said, her voice soft and strangely musical in tone. “Good.”

  “What are you doing here?” asked the mage. “This is the last place I expected to see you.”

  Guile’s eyebrows rose at the familiarity Tyler exhibited. The two entities he addressed were not mortal after all. One was an ancient elemental and the other, a major Greek god. Rumpr noticed Guile’s reaction.

  “Oh, don’t be surprised, Guile. The First Mage is an old friend. Master Dio and I have worked with him before, and I should say, our Tyler had been a very effective mage in thwarting plots and schemes.”

  “A First Mage. It’s been a long time since one had been on this world. Longer than my existence on Adar. And a mortal, in body and soul. Not a hint of the divine or the primordial elements. A mystery. An interesting challenge,” replied Guile in a low voice. Gone was the soft tone Tyler initially heard. It was still calm but with a hint of a growl in it.

  “Wait, Guile. We are among friends. Our First Mage is not one for your tests. Still a novice in his art. More importantly, a lot of pantheons will be unhappy if you break him,” said Dionysus hurriedly.

  Break me? Well, based on X’s assessment, she probably will.

  “We’re here to add more defenses to the forest which graciously allowed us entry. With what is happening throughout the north and the war in the south, an old man suggested we take additional precautions. Eira is your weak link, after all,” Rumpr bluntly told him. “Guile happened to be around. Events in the north had roused her curiosity.”

  “My thanks. Especially to you, Guile – helping out when there’s no obligation to do so. But isn’t Eira powerful enough? She does have the forest to help her,” asked Tyler.

  Rumpr looked at him and gave a wry smile.

  “Right now, you’re more powerful than Eira, lad. Even the forest won’t stand a chance against you,” revealed the elemental.

  “Eira’s brother was a friend, mage. And I remember my debts,” said Guile. Tyler noticed the draken didn’t use the full title “First Mage.”

  Tyler then felt a pushing sensation inside his head. It was not painful or uncomfortable, but it was immediately stopped and thankfully withdrew.

  “Hmmm.” The mage heard Guile murmur.

  “Now, now, Guile. That was not a friendly thing to do,” came the gentle rebuke from Rumpr. “Not polite. Our First Mage here is a friend,”

  “My apologies, First Mage. I just can’t resist the impulses of my kind. But let me make amends. I noticed your armor had seen better days,” said Guile. A gentle glow emanated from the golden scale armor. “There! Fixed. Good as new. Though be careful when or if you happen across the owner of those scales. Cantankerous and long-winded, even for my kind.”

  Tyler looked down and saw his dragon armor had been repaired, cleaned, and even buffed. And the draken now used his title and admitted she was a wyrm. The mental resistance must have impressed her.

  Dionysus laughed. “Now you look the part, First Mage. You did look like what a keres picked up from an old battlefield. How about you? Your arrival was a surprise. A happy happenstance, as some would describe it.”

  “The old man sent me back for
a few days’ rest. Told me I needed it,” Tyler quietly said. No sense telling them I was on the verge of a breakdown.

  Rumpr again stared at him for a few seconds. Intently. Then the diminutive being sighed.

  “That you do, lad, that you do. I wish there’s a way to make it easier for you. But your mortal shell does have limitations,” sadly remarked the elemental. “But these interesting times are worrying enough to warrant extreme efforts. Treachery now extends its polluted claws across the pantheons. It’s times like this when one holds true friends closer.”

  There’s a lot Rumpr’s not telling me. Or any of the deities. Wait, the guy’s a powerful earth elemental. The perfect power to ferret out secrets and overhear conversations, if he puts his mind into such activities. It seems he did. Unfortunately, there appears to be something which prevents him from sharing what he had discovered so far, Tyler observed.

  “Anyway, we won’t keep you long, my friend,” said Dionysus. “There’s still a lot of things for us three to do.”

  “And I pity the being who tries to block your way,” drolly answered Tyler.

  “I wish something, or somebody does try,” replied Guile. “I need to flex old and unused abilities.”

  “We could go and bother Ymir. Or Sutr. They’re the ones closest to us,” replied Rumpr.

  “Let’s think about it first,” said Dionysus. “Fighting was never my style. Kindly don’t forget that.”

  “Oh, say hello to Hrun for me, Rumpr. I hope his prose is getting better,” said Tyler.

  “Will do, First Mage. And it’s getting worse. He told me he’s going to create a new poetic form. As if we didn’t have enough problems.”

  Then Rumpr stopped and looked thoughtful. He looked around the group.

  “Care to hear his latest attempt?” the elemental ventured.

  “Next time, I think,” said Dionysus.

  Tyler didn’t say anything.

  “Come on, Dio. My suffering ears need company,” insisted Rumpr.

  “I’d like to hear it,” volunteered Guile. “Let’s see if he has improved.”

  Rumpr hurriedly accommodated the drake over the objections of Dionysus. Evidently, he took Tyler’s silence as acquiescence.

  A wolf’s barren journey,

  To a destination of woe,

  A shackled enemy stirs,

  amidst a field of fire;

  Yet all must be, the skein

  Of the mistress dictates,

  Though plagues and dark enmity,

  Nips at magic’s heels;

  A choice beckons, a decision made,

  As a world is torn by war, and

  Death rules the days.

  “There. Doom and gloom. Hrun seems to have that mood these days. And you all know how long those moods last,” started Rumpr, satisfied in inflicting Hrun’s verses on the ears around him.

  Guile laughed. “Not too dark for me,” the drake said. “He does have some ability to glimpse futures. Or have the millennia also washed that away?”

  “It’s still there though I seem to stop hearing anything when he starts being poetic. It’s impossible to distinguish between prophecy and misbegotten attempts when Hrun practices. Anyway, let’s be off. We’ve kept our lover friend long enough,” said Rumpr.

  The beings said their goodbyes to Tyler, turned their backs and walked down the forest trail.

  They didn’t just teleport out of here? thought the amazed mage. Then he saw the animated discussion among the three. Oh, they’re still discussing their choice of diversion. I pity the being who gets volunteered to be their prank of the day.

  Smiling at the thought, Tyler entered the forest.

  The moment he entered the woods, Tyler suddenly felt at ease. It was as if his burdens, worries, and concerns were left back on the trail bordering the forest. As he strode deeper into the tangled undergrowth, the mage noticed his path was cleared. Tree roots and thick vegetation had moved out of his way. Even the ground smoothed itself. A track was being laid out before him.

  Excellent! I would be able to surprise Eira, he thought. I shouldn’t have wondered about how the forest reacted to my presence. I, I mean “we,” have a house here. I am part of this forest.

  Then upon reflection, Tyler found the proper sentiment to express what he felt.

  I am home.

  The young man walked faster along the trail, and he could see the forest still clearing a path for him. Plants were moving out of the way. Tree roots sank to the ground. Dead boughs which would have obstructed his way defeat out of sight. All was happening silently.

  Back home, this would have been the height of creepy.

  Sunlight peered through openings in the thick overhead tree cover, and he could hear birds chirping in the treetops. Small animals rushed across the path, too fast for the mage to see what they were.

  Funny, I didn’t see that happening before, noting how close the forest denizens passed him. But I was with Eira most of the time before. These animals probably kept their distance out of respect. Or by her instructions? Never mind. It’s good to feel welcome. Though if birds start landing on me, then I know I am in a Disney movie, that this all is a dream, and I fell asleep watching it.

  Tyler could now see the small lake near the house. He quickened his pace.

  And as he broke out of the trees and into the clearing leading home, a bundle of fur crashed into him.

  Oh, freak. I forgot Brovi. There goes my surprise. And he’s a big one now.

  As he lay on the ground, the big bear started licking his face. The bear obviously had learned to how to handle humans. His weight was not on Tyler’s chest.

  “Missed me, boy?” said Tyler as he mushed the bear’s furry face. “Missed you too. Where’s Eira?”

  At his query, the big bear let go of him and ran to the house.

  Well, Eira was right. The energy of the forest sometimes grants abilities to its residents. The big guy understands me a lot better now.

  He opened the door slowly, hoping to catch Eira by surprise. What he got was being pulled inside the house, hugged in a painful though welcome way, and smothered with kisses.

  That’s new. I didn’t get that many kisses all at once before. And the armor didn’t faze her nor protect me. I didn’t know she was this strong.

  “Tyler. I missed you! A lot! I was worried!” exclaimed Eira. Thankfully, Brovi stayed outside the house.

  The mage raised his hand, trying to get his breathing back.

  “Missed you, Eira. Let’s move to those chairs first,” he suggested.

  “Oh, sorry about that,” said Eira as she noticed the lurching and gasping mage. “I guess I don’t know my own strength.”

  “No worries there. It just shows you do miss me,” replied Tyler as he made his way to a chair. “Though I thought I’d get to surprise you.”

  “Tyler,” Eira remonstrated, “to a great degree, I am the forest. I knew you arrived the moment you appeared outside its borders. That’s why I am here. I hurried back from its northern reaches.”

  Tyler didn’t reply and just looked at Eira. The gentle lines of her beautiful innocent face, the tone of her skin, that delightful hair, those bewitching eyes, and that scent! How he missed that bouquet! The young man sat there and didn’t say anything. He was lost in the reality of the moment and savored every second of it.

  “Tyler! You’re making me feel awkward,” softly said Eira. And the melodious sound of her voice! I missed her so much, and I didn’t realize how much I needed to see her.

  “I just realized how much missed you, Eira,” Tyler quickly replied. “Your eyes, the way you talk, laugh, your scent. All the things that make up the Eira I have learned to love.”

  “Good! And here I was, thinking you’ve forgotten all about me,” countered Eira though her cheeks were blushing furiously.

  “Never in a million years. If I live that long,” smiled the mage.

  “Now, why the sudden visit?” asked the forest spirit, trying to change the
subject. It was clear it was a new experience for her.

  “Somebody thought I needed a couple of days to unwind,” said Tyler.

  Eira leaned closer and looked at him carefully.

  “Oh, Tyler,” she said with dismay after a while. “I didn’t know things were that bad. They’re putting too many burdens on you!”

  “Could be,” the mage replied with a wry smile.

  “How dare they do that! To you! Asking you to act on things even deities fear to touch! To go to lands they won’t think of visiting!” Eira’s outrage and fury were on full display.

  “You know of the current quest?” asked the intrigued mage.

  “Rumpr, the Greek wine god, and Guile were here. We talked about a lot of things. Rumpr might have slipped that tidbit into our conversation at one point.”

  “I, for one, am very thankful about the extra protection they have provided you.”

  “That only shows the kind of trouble you’re facing or will be encountering,” replied Eira. “I am not happy with the way these matters are going. I am really sorry, kerasti. I never expected things to turn out this way.”